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African Dads - Family - Nairaland

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African Dads by Yemialade(f): 12:49am On Oct 09, 2022
ello nairalanders
My dad does not have regards for me at all,whenever am talking he will always tell mW to shut up.
I am finding it difficult to be close to him sef unlike my siblings who are close to him and play with him.I try to act like my siblings in my relationship with my father but its hard.
I try to convince myself but I find it hard to be close to him.
One day I was cleaning the house ,he was like I should use kitchen foam to mop the floor, I was like its not hygienic to use what is for the kitchen to mop unhygienic place,he told me to shut up blah blah ,then said whatever he say I should do,he even wanted to hit me sef,he almost slapped me ,he was like that's why in interviews am not called for jobs blah blah,that he felt pity for me that's why he dey link me up with one school to accept me.I was pianed that he did it out of pity but not from his heart to help me with that school job.
Re: African Dads by Kobojunkie: 1:18am On Oct 09, 2022
Yemialade:
One day I was cleaning the house ,he was like I should use kitchen foam to mop the floor, I was like its not hygienic to use what is for the kitchen to mop unhygienic place,he told me to shut up blah blah ,then said whatever he say I should do,he even wanted to hit me sef,he almost slapped me ,he was like that's why in interviews am not called for jobs blah blah,that he felt pity for me that's why he dey link me up with one school to accept me.I was pianed that he did it out of pity but not from his heart to help me with that school job.
Some parents are like that, and there isnt much you can do about them. Some people don't even know how to handle their personal issues and turn around to bully anyone around them they can instead.

Unfortunately, the only way around all this is to realize that you don't owe your dad anything. You don't have to do your interviews exactly as he expects and you certainly don't have to agree with his foolish ideas. You however have to show by your own decisions in life that they are wrong and you are right and this to yourself. undecided
Re: African Dads by etrange: 1:20am On Oct 09, 2022
You forgot to mention your age. And before anything, let me say that if he tried to help you get a job, it is because you're his daughter and he wants you to be stable and independent. There's nothing like "he just did it out of pity". Only a revolting teenager would think that way. That said, I believe you're going through a very common phase; the point where your ego has grown almost as big as your father's, and you begin to demand respect while he fights to maintain control. It is very natural. In fact, for us guys, that's nature's way of telling us to move out before it develops into something serious. However, it's not always that easy (especially for the ladies). What you need is some emotional intelligence to deal with the current situation.

My advice is for you to be self-aware. Being mindful of why we react in a certain way to certain things helps us stay in control. Predicting our reactions to certain triggers gives us the power to control the outcome. Remember, your father isn't the one changing here, you're the one growing. Your mindset is changing, and the same thing you would have ignored years back are now disrespectful to you. Someone who isn't self-aware would let this develop into hate, misinterpret things (like thinking he only assisted you out of pity) or even react impulsively. Don't let that be you. Always remind yourself that it is only a phase, one that is meant to motivate you to work harder towards leaving the house. I hope this helps you to stay in control of your emotions till you're able to get your own place (moving out or getting married).

Wishing you the best!

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Re: African Dads by Cutehector(m): 4:29am On Oct 09, 2022
You are supposed to be in your hubby's house by now.

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