Dearest NL, I have always fancied having a family raised abroad precisely u.s.a. Now i got a job with a high paying oil-firm and my plans is to fulfill actualizing my youthful dream. I am already preparing how my fiancee will finish her schooling abroad but something in me always tells me to be careful. Please dear nairalanders, help say something from wot u know from experience or a candid advuse u could give to assist a poor me.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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Let your family stay with you, it is best, Husband for America, wife for Naija stuff, causes a bid gulf in a marraige, unless the two (couple) know how to bridge the gap and bridge it well, Stay with the job you got, some people here (abroad) are looking for that job you got to return home ooooo.

My dear Ogrin, from your notes you two are not yet married. I know how it is when two love birds are together and either spouse wants to travel, the other promises to call everyday, every minute, and that distance is not a barrier to our love. My dear real life situations are far far different from story books. There was a time ilife presented me with such situations but i thank God we did not do the distant thing. What, with a randy husband in a different location and i and kids in another, by now my story will not be how to stop his randiness but how to raise my kids alone. Be that as it may i will advise that your wife comes back to you after studies and settle down here with you. I really dont see the attraction in raising kids abroad, but if you so desire you can all go on vacations from to time. Its more fun. Kids abroad are exposed to a lot of vices than our kids. pls weigh your options!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chaircover:

why have you always dreamt of having a family raised abroad?

dear, there are lots of reasons: insecurity, education etc

ronkebp:

Let your family stay with you, it is best, Husband for America, wife for Naija stuff, causes a bid gulf in a marraige, unless the two (couple) know how to bridge the gap and bridge it well, Stay with the job you got, some people here (abroad) are looking for that job you got to return home ooooo.

thanks jare, ur little, yet precise info did help,

Gayi:

My dear Ogrin, from your notes you two are not yet married. I know how it is when two love birds are together and either spouse wants to travel, the other promises to call everyday, every minute, and that distance is not a barrier to our love. My dear real life situations are far far different from story books. There was a time ilife presented me with such situations but i thank God we did not do the distant thing. What, with a randy husband in a different location and i and kids in another, by now my story will not be how to stop his randiness but how to raise my kids alone. Be that as it may i will advise that your wife comes back to you after studies and settle down here with you. I really dont see the attraction in raising kids abroad, but if you so desire you can all go on vacations from to time. Its more fun. Kids abroad are exposed to a lot of vices than our kids. pls weigh your options!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if there is anyword that could more appreciate an effort or a deed than the word 'thank you', i would have used that. Gayi, thanks for that meaningful contribution. I pray God rewards you, keep ur family together. cheers.

Let your family stay with you, it is best, Husband for America, wife for Naija stuff, causes a bid gulf in a marraige, unless the two (couple) know how to bridge the gap and bridge it well, Stay with the job you got, some people here (abroad) are looking for that job you got to return home ooooo.[/color]



Thank You OOOO, more over there is nothing in raising children abroad, even some of us here are afraid of the way the Western world is turning now, we want to bring our children back home. They will tell us not to discipline them if you listern to them the children will derail. Example of the incidences that happened in UK August 11, Looters - terrible!

This is a bad idea. Let me rephrase this, you cannot send your familly away before you are really a familly. You need to be with them for a good number of years first, then you can let them live where you or they want.
My familly lived in the UK for 9 years before they came back. I know that of which I speak.

I agree with everyone so far --- marry your finance and live together as family.

Don't let them fool you bros. beware of what you seek . . .searching for American dream . . .John Legend.

Do not get yourself separated from your family just cos of an American dream.You all can fly there as one or stay back for sometime then move laterz as one.Sacrifice today for a better tomorrow as opposed to rushing through today to start all over again tomorrow.
Long distance relationship na benin-ore expressway; for the brave hearts only,long distance marriage na One chance,no bus stop . . .anything can happen! esp for a young and youthful marriage.

Btw,You can marry now,wait for sometime before popping them kids ie 2-3 years,save up,get ur papers bla bla then move to Amelika to start ur family

How would your wife cope with raising a family and schooling without any Househelp.

Also very importantly I would you and your wife cope with a congo-less marriage?

Or has Skype completed their virtual sex portal?

Pls don't be moved by this America thing. Very soon Americans will be coming to Nija. Think twice!

My brother, draw a line between fantasy and reality o. Family biz is serious biz. You must consider the pros and cons of long distance marriage. Can you bear the cons?

My advise is that you should stay with your wife and family.

Trust me it will work if both of your heads are in the right place. My mother (American) raised both my brother and I in the States during our teen years while my dad operated his business in Nigeria. Eventually he moved back to the States to open another business but he made it work the best way possible.