We all know what it's like to be feeling a little lonely in a relationship. Sometimes it can feel tough to put your feelings into words, but there are ways to show your partner that they matter and that you're thinking about them even when you're not physically together. In order for these gestures to be most meaningful, they should be spontaneous and heartfelt and by nature bring with them an element of surprise — something that's special, just between the two of you. Here are some ways to show your partner that their feelings are important:
Rule 1: Look at them.
To show affection for a partner, you must look at them. When you're in a relationship, it's easy to take your eyes off of your partner and look at the television or book. Even when we're just sitting together, we tend to zone out and let our mind wander. But if you recognize this habit and make an effort to keep your eyes on your partner as often as possible, they will feel more appreciated.
Rule 2: Listen to their problems.
One of the most hurtful things you can do when you're in a relationship is to not listen to your partner when they're upset. Your partner will feel as if they have no one to turn to if you don't listen or offer a sympathetic ear. Even if you don't have any advice for them or the problem isn't anything you've ever dealt with yourself, just listening shows that their feelings are important enough for you to pay attention.
Rule 3: Give them a spontaneous gift.
Spontaneous gifts are always better than anticipated ones because they come from the heart versus the wallet. A lot of times we make our partner wait for something we know they'll love, and although this can be well-intentioned, it's better to show that you care without waiting for a day or two.
Rule 4: Don't make them ask for it.
Consider this the "rule of three" when it comes to affection in relationships. You should never feel obligated to give your partner a spontaneous gesture of affection, so it's best to make them ask for whatever they want. This will leave less room for miscommunication and makes their feelings seem more valuable because they're not being taken for granted by simply doing what you think is right.
Rule 5: Ask them out.
Spontaneous is good, but not spontaneous enough. If you're in a relationship with someone, you should treat them like they're special and worth your time. Plan a fun night out with only the two of you, or schedule an impromptu movie night. Don't wait to ask your partner about their day. Instead, ask them about their day and make comments about what you observed or what you imagined their life was like.
Rule 6: Give them the silent treatment from time to time.
When it's necessary for your partner to mope around the house for a day or two, give them a little space by just ignoring them when they ask for your attention (as in "Where's my hug?".