this is a spin off from a thread currently up about an abusive spouse

and at the same time a summation of my thoughts


what is in a marriage?

why must we marry,is it wrong not to do so?

is being single a curse or in logical terms :irresponsibility?

and why are more youths favorably disposed towards remaining single?





your thoughts please as this is somewhat becoming a trend

Ariblaze!!! Remember me?

Anyway I think marriage is a beautiful thing.
I've always had some weird inclination to be single (maybe it was me just being rebellious) until something happened.
Why must we marry? Quick question, are you adverse to cohabitation the way you are to marriage?
No matter how you see it, all living things are here to reproduce according to my biology teacher. What better way for a human to produce viable offspring if not in a functional home. . .hence marriage?

and why are more youths favorably disposed towards remaining single?

I don't think they've met the right person, or maybe they have a lot of horror stories around them and that have triggered the negative feelings towards marriage.

From a man's perspective, there's nothing in marriage most especially in today's "civilized" social construct. Gender "equality"/the feminazi movement have killed the essence of marriage. Most people who get married today are in it for the wrong reasons e.g they are old enough,they have the finance,they want kids,they want to please society,their religion dictates it,for sex, etc. When the temporary euphoria elapses, it's only a matter of time before reality sets in. You can have company,sex and kids without marriage. Nuff said!

harakiri:

From a man's perspective, there's nothing in marriage most especially in today's "civilized" social construct. Gender "equality"/the feminazi movement have killed the essence of marriage. Most people who get married today are in it for the wrong reasons e.g they are old enough,they have the finance,they want kids,they want to please society,their religion dictates it,for sex, etc. When the temporary euphoria elapses, it's only a matter of time before reality sets in. You can have company,sex and kids without marriage. Nuff said!

Your deep hatred for all things marriage is so apparent as you go about the forum announcing it
every chance you get. Do yourself a favor: Never get married.

chika98:

Your deep hatred for all things marriage is so apparent as you go about the forum announcing it
every chance you get. Do yourself a favor: Never get married.

Actually, the problem lies with your shallow mindedness and inability to see things outside the box and from a broader perspective. I have no "hatred" for the institution called marriage rather i am pointing out the obvious depreciation in it's usefulness in today's modern world (if you weren't so biased and self absorbed in your myopic judgments, you would have clearly seen that).

Before you comment on this topic, ask your self what marriage stood for 50 years ago (with the way things were back then) and compare it with today. Look around you, how many marriages since 2000 are successful? It's doesn't take rocket science to figure out that what i pointed out earlier (gender equality/the feminazi movement) are a big part of the problem.

Please, make an effort to think before you talk next time. Nuff said!

stillwater:

Ariblaze!!! Remember me?

Anyway I think marriage is a beautiful thing.
I've always had some weird inclination to be single (maybe it was me just being rebellious) until something happened.
Why must we marry? Quick question, are you adverse to cohabitation the way you are to marriage?
No matter how you see it, all living things are here to reproduce according to my biology teacher. What better way for a human to produce viable offspring if not in a functional home. . .hence marriage?

I don't think they've met the right person, or maybe they have a lot of horror stories around them and that have triggered the negative feelings towards marriage.

lol sure remember you . . . .you arent easy to forget . . . lol

i use to believe in the ''right person'' theory . . . .but how can you have a right person when you arent the person's right person?

there are horror stories of bikers crashing almost on the monthly. . doesnt stop me from jumping on mine and throttling down

harakiri:

From a man's perspective, there's nothing in marriage most especially in today's "civilized" social construct. Gender "equality"/the feminazi movement have killed the essence of marriage. Most people who get married today are in it for the wrong reasons e.g they are old enough,they have the finance,they want kids,they want to please society,their religion dictates it,for sex, etc. When the temporary euphoria elapses, it's only a matter of time before reality sets in. You can have company,sex and kids without marriage. Nuff said!

@harakiri

i am inclined to agree with you, but i am not sure i feel disposed thus because i am a man sha, . .i most likely may feel the same way even if i were a woman

harakiri:

From a man's perspective, there's nothing in marriage most especially in today's "civilized" social construct. Gender "equality"/the feminazi movement have killed the essence of marriage. Most people who get married today are in it for the wrong reasons e.g they are old enough,they have the finance,they want kids,they want to please society,their religion dictates it,for sex, etc. When the temporary euphoria elapses, it's only a matter of time before reality sets in. You can have company,sex and kids without marriage. Nuff said!

Marriage is and will always be relevant in society.  Many people are quite happy to emulate certain aspects of marriage - I'm sure you'd still want sex with a woman whether "feminazi" was real or imagined.  But the thing is people nowadays have options and can pick and choose what they like.  Most of those options are a pretend marriage i.e. want all the benefits but without the responsibility.

Ariblaze - I can totally understand where you are coming from. I can tell you from experience that when you meet the right person, marriage is definitely worth it.

I would never say I didn't see the relevance in marriage, but I enjoyed my single life, probably because I was doing what a lot of singles weren't.  Some people thought I was too traditional, I was even told my standards were too high, but I was not prepared to compromise for the sake of culture, tradition or because of family pressure.  I've put up with a lot of abuse from supposed well meaning people because I was single past 30, but thankfully I was never under pressure from my family.

Responsibility is not just for married people but for any mature adult.  It is not wrong to remain single, the big problem is that culturally (if you choose to live within those confines) some people think you aren't a responsible adult or even an adult if you are not married.

What is there in marriage?  Companionship and commitment.  In marriage you learn about the other person but an awful lot about yourself.  Being selfish is not an option within marriage.  Don't get into marriage if you're going to be looking for an exit in the near future, and don't marry someone if you have seen things you don't like and think they will change.  It is no use marrying someone because you feel you should without knowing who  you're dealing with.  You find you appreciate your spouse a lot more when you're apart because you miss having that other person around, you miss someone to talk to and/or harass, you simply miss their presence.  And never marry someone who you don't appreciate.

Marriage can either be a tie that binds in a healthy way, or a millstone around a person's neck.  That is why I'm often surprised at how people get married for some glib reason, or string along lies, or are deceptive (in collusion with family) and how naive some of us are when it comes to marriage.  Boyfriend and girlfriend is NOTHING compared to husband and wife. 

Don't feel the need to conform to society's values regarding marriage, you are the person that has to live with it not family or friends.  If you are remotely in doubt about a person, think twice before committing.  The person you are when single is the person you carry into any relationship.  Enjoy being single by all means, but never rule out marriage.

As for marriage's irrelevance to men, what you need to do is go to a man who's marriage is a good and happy one, and ask him why he got married.

Airblaze, being single is never a curse, it is actually a gift, not everyone can be married, if you then decide to marry, it is best to marry someone you will cherish for the rest of your life( if possible) and not marrying for marraige sake.

@N101


i am pass the age marker a few years in sef. . . .its the strong hints i am choosing to ignore now jare

btw in depth write , made sense



@ronkebp . . . thumbs up




but to you both i dont feel such a person exist

^^^^^ Gat you, but it is best you don't conclude that such people do not exist,, they do! moreover so many people still enjoy their marraiges, there would be friction, certainly! but it depends on the level of the mistake.

The feminazi movement has done a great deal ofd damage, but more outside the country than in.

^^^^ whatever!!!! you are here again, with your feminazi, point of view?

ronkebp:

^^^^ whatever!!!! you are here again, with your feminazi, point of view?

Oh!! Gosh, I forgot, you and the rest of the coven get to decide who posts and who does not.

The problem is not in marriage, it is finding the right person to marry.

D prblm is nt marriage bt jet age. People re nt longer looking 4 companionship rather e re after e economy

let me put forth another school of thought

we the men are no longer the men we used to be

whilst the women are no longer the women that used to be

ages ago man robbed women of their rights,now man has over compensated by over conceding rights

(please note i am not talking about female independence here oooo)

so the new age woman has come out super arrogant, super sensitive and super liberal minded so to speak.

the fall out. . . .man doesnt like what woman has become and thus self exist




disclaimer: this isnt by no means the reason why i am in my dilemma.just put this forward as another angle for debate

I can't help but feel real pity for some people.They have been seriously dealt with in and out by the opposite sex,the scar so deep,memories so vivid and wound so fresh that one can feel it even online.

E go better!

@Topic,co-sign Sicherit's post.

harakiri:

Actually, the problem lies with your shallow mindedness and inability to see things outside the box and from a broader perspective. I have no "hatred" for the institution called marriage rather i am pointing out the obvious depreciation in it's usefulness in today's modern world (if you weren't so biased and self absorbed in your myopic judgments, you would have clearly seen that).

Before you comment on this topic, ask your self what marriage stood for 50 years ago (with the way things were back then) and compare it with today. Look around you, how many marriages since 2000 are successful? It's doesn't take rocket science to figure out that what i pointed out earlier (gender equality/the feminazi movement) are a big part of the problem.

Please, make an effort to think before you talk next time. Nuff said!

Thank you Mr open minded. I didn't actually expect a different response from what you've put up here. You're quite right because next time; I'd really think first before I respond to you. LOL! How typical!

even though there are so many untrusting guys out there, i still plan to get married.
how many ladies out there will agree to 's.hag and go affair'?

My man Harakiri has said it all. But then if I would ever get married, it would only be for the kids; to give my kids the sort of balanced, functional family/parenthood that I enjoyed. That would be the principal MOTIVE for getting married; but of course it would all crash if the woman effs up any second after the wedding. Not even the afore-mentioned motive and love for my heirs/heiresses would make me put up with an 'unwifely' wife.

'Love' can never be my reason for marriage; neither can it be beauty: they both wear off or become banal in a matter of months. God help us.

When u are single, they call you irresponsible

When u get married, You are now responsible for your death

@ifyalways

I can't help but feel real pity for some people.They have been seriously dealt with in and out by the opposite sex,the scar is so deep, memories so vivid and wound so fresh that one can feel it even online.

E go better!

Gosh! This must be very, very painful to some people here-in!  
You w-i-c-k-e-d  no be small!

BTW: Why do most people shy away from the obvious truth about "modern day marriage"?

You know, our parents use to say "lets do it how its done, so we get the same result as we use to get"!

Its that simple when it comes to the reason today's marriage is no longer what it used to be.

@ariblaze.

we the men are no longer the men we used to be

whilst the women are no longer the women that used to be

ages ago man robbed women of their rights,now man has over compensated by over conceding rights

(please note i am not talking about female independence here oooo)

so the new age woman has come out super arrogant, super sensitive and super liberal minded so to speak.

the fall out. . . .man doesnt like what woman has become and thus self exist

[b]So you know "this much" and you are asking that question in the first place?[/b

End of story joor!

ifyalways:

I can't help but feel real pity for some people.They have been seriously dealt with in and out by the opposite sex,the scar so deep,memories so vivid and wound so fresh that one can feel it even online.

E go better!

@Topic,co-sign Sicherit's post.

@ifyalways

can you clarify your statement. . . .kinda hazy

lastpage:

@ifyalways
Gosh! This must be very, very painful to some people here-in!  
You w-i-c-k-e-d  no be small!

BTW: Why do most people shy away from the obvious truth about "modern day marriage"?

You know, our parents use to say "lets do it how its done, so we get the same result as we use to get"!

Its that simple when it comes to the reason today's marriage is no longer what it used to be.

@ariblaze. [b]So you know "this much" and you are asking that question in the first place?[/b

End of story joor!

@last page

i am but a man

my logical deductions may be lacking in one form or another
hence the need to put it out
moreso, i said it was a school of thought

look on wikipedia lol , [img]http://2.s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=E6E6E5/txt=E6E6E5/border=E6E6E5/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]
[img]http://s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=E6E6E5/txt=E6E6E5/border=E6E6E5/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]

@ All, Well am going to 30 and "Married" with a Son that is +1 going to 2, (all with NO special help or Assistance from "anyone" except GOD, not even parents (in case u are thinking)).

[b], Plan carefully what you do, and what ever you do will turn out right (Proverb 4:26) But Read from Verse 20 to  27.[/b]

Marriage is a Beautiful thing, God created it so don't get it twisted. Even the Good book said it all " He who finds a Wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord".  Marriage by all standard is not to be forced on anyone or anyone compelled to get involved. Its the right thing to DO at the right time. God created us in his image and non is perfect except God, but when you get someone you can tolerate and the person can also tolerate you, Its a beginning and the rest is up to both of you to make it work. Like I always said, YOU DON'T NEED ANYBODY TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK EXCEPT GOD. Not even your PARENTS. They will even help you scatter your home.

Why most marriages don't work out especially from the 2000s is because of LIES and SELF DECIET with people. Claiming what we are not and we get our spouse to understand and believe same only to self discover the truth after they have been deceived into what they never understood . ONLY THE TRUTH CAN SET YOU FREE.

As a man (25 & Above), once you can get any little means of livelihood (35k-40k/month and above - it must not be a steady work, but you know that within your means you can achieve something within that range) Why not get Married. This will enable you to have focus and plan carefully for the GOOD life that you want.

I will not bore you with more details rather you should convince yourself on what you want and ask God for guidance, Blessing and Protection. For More assistance read: 1st Corr. 7:1-10; 1st Corr. 13:1-13; Eph. 5:20-33; especially Hebr. 13:4-6. You can also add this if you have spare time. 1st Timothy 4:1-4.

Please am not a preacher or a pastor. Just an average guyman, Live your life and enjoy yourself.

Marcus and Knorkle,which kain Russian programs/robots una be?

@Ariblaze,what's hazy about my reply?Simply put,I have no problem with the word marriage or getting into it but I believe the problem(If any) lies with the 2 individuals getting into marriage.
If you don't get your priorities right,set goals and achieve them,be able to sieve out dreams/illusions from reality and whats obtainable,know your needs,wants and available resources,can't resolve conflicts amicably and move on etc when single there is no way you can make it work when married.

Glad to find out some peeps also subscribe to the same school of thought with u
I cant just get to convince my mum though

@hexcraft read the books of 1cor 7 and tell us what paul thinks about unmarried peeps

i seriously think some peeps just marry because the people before them marry no

Still looking foward to more contributions though from the married