I found myself recently thinking and wondering what I will do if my husband finally did not fulfill the promise he made almost a year ago this month, that by month ending he will reunite the family. I am really getting fed up with living like a spinster again and I was telling myself that if that promise was broken, he had better prepare for the worst. Now, what is the worst that can ever happen to a marriage?

so why dont you go and live with your hubby.. take a career break or study leave or sth instead of thinking of worst case scenarios

Why not focus on the positive for now than thinking about negative in the marriage. At least you knew prior to the marriage that he would not be with you for a time pending when process to be with him is complete. Direct your energy and strength working towards getting together where he is, it will do you more good than feeding your mind with negative thinking.

@bellong @peak... U guys got it wrong. Not that am thinking about something bad happening to my marriage. But there are thousands of stories out there of how marriages have turned out. Was hoping stories could be shared here to help married nairalanders. I mean i have an aunt who used to say she can never marry a man who beats up his wife until her husband started tongue lashing her with strong words which was more painful than physical batterning. as in he was attacking her emotions. she suffered until she found a means and started speaking to his reasoning. it was not easy. every little thing she did, the man just took pride at saying different hurting words which cut her deeply. coupled with prayer, the situation changed.

So why can you not move to where your husband is? Is there any extenuating circumstance preventing that?

[quote author=LewsTherin]So why can you not move to where your husband is? Is there any extenuating circumstance preventing that?[/qu
yes, he is in abuja and i am in Lagos. and you know living in Abuja with you family is not beans.

Pls get enof background info about som1 b4 marrying. Don't jump into marriage bc ur mates are married. Only patience can hold a marriage.

It depends on why your husband is not with you. I pray you are not a 'green card wife'. For example, I see many men abroad with just student visas and green cards coming home to marry and getting girls pregnant, and our girls being what they, are tumbling over another to marry a man abroad just to travel, without understanding the immigration rules for these countries. Now how in the whole world will the wife join her husband with a student visa? Spouses of green card holders take close to 5-6yrs b4 joining their spouses. There's no bribery in some developed countries. So no matter what pressure you put don't make any difference to Oyinbo.

Other things that can cause that are:

1.Security situation where ur hubby lives: don't tell me u wan to join a hubby working at Maidugiri at this time.. .
2.Accommodation: If the man is just patching in a 1 room, where will u stay with ur kids? some women will say "I've no prblm with that", but will be the 1st to raise hell for a bigger house after 6 months.
3.Demanding Job: If the man's job is such that he's always traveling out like truck drivers and salesmen, you'll still be lonely even if u join him
4.If he's only separated with an ex-wife and not yet legally divorced in a court, try moving in and regret it . Allow the process to finish first.

Patience is the key. You knew before you married him abi?

background information you say like u are not in naija. things spring up and happen unexpectedly. we were together in lagos before he got a better offer in Abuja. but i agree with u on patience.

ona2: background information you say like u are not in naija. things spring up and happen unexpectedly. we were together in lagos before he got a better offer in Abuja. but i agree with u on patience.

Yep there're background info in naija: The way he treated his ex gfs warn us, his friends warn us, people from his villa warn us, his neigbours warn us, even his lifestyle when we're dating us warn too (they use money to woo us, they spread money & gifts on us like typical womanizers but we smile and collect, they slap other girls at parties, they yell at neighbor's children & complain about children, they hang out with questionable men & comeback late, all his Exs took in for him and aborted, they claim to be international biz men traveling abroad, their job title is veeeeeeery looooooong, he buys only cheap fairly used items, he has no good relationship with is parents and neigbors, etc). We naija ladies see all this signs and still go ahead bc we want to be married & answer Mrs. What other background information do we need, sisters?

back on ur case. try and keep urself usefully busy at Lagos. As long as u can visit him at Abuja (unannounced sometimes) and spend quality time with him, you'll be fine. Use BB, FB chat, texts, Skype to keep ur marriage warm. time will heal. but if u start trouble and threats now, why will a man invite trouble to Abuja to live with? .

Please be aware that most free counselors on nairaland like me are either naive teenagers, never married before, or have broken homes. Be careful of Nairaland counselors. Talk to ur family rather

I dont understand the problem here and i dont know why you are so paranoid.




Babes think positive and positive stuffs will happen to you.moreover you are what you think says the holy book

Worst thing that could happen?

A woman finds out her husband is a poof. An arsse-bastardiser!

Fhemmmy: The worse that could happen to a marriage is growing apart . . .

ur right

*fear* *fear* *fear*... I've got less than 1 year

trying to wrap my head around the question, but the worst that can happen in a marriage is for the s3x to stop......

S3x can be used for anything.....make up, bonding, love etc...

The worst thing that can happen in a marriage is the death of a partner
You can have control over every other thing if you choose to

trying to wrap my head around the question, but the worst that can happen in a marriage is for the s3x to stop......

S3x can be used for anything.....make up, bonding, love etc...

But my advice is still don't get married....partnership works better

MISUNDERSTANDING

Lilimax: The worst thing that can happen in a marriage is the death of a partner
You can have control over every other thing if you choose to

If im dey beat the woman nko and the life insurance payout is huge?

when you get to know that ur wife was once a man.
that she did some surgery to earn those female organs#

'Na my own'

The worst that can happen in a marriage is Divorce

In ma opinion, d worst tin z ur hubby hvin an accident wit his spinal cord gettin damaged two mnths afta marriage

Flytefalls: *fear* *fear* *fear*... I've got less than 1 year

Why *fear*? Give your best and you will receive the best too.

I think women that are too concious about the problems of marriage often got it wrong! The truth is that if a man doesn't want you to know some certain things no matter how hard you try to find out you will never knw! For instance if a man knows that if his wife to be knows that he will not have time for her due to his job, he will often find a way of talking her into believing that's no problem. Ladies always want to rely on their wisdom to choose a better husband but what they don't know is that a lot of things are beyond their understanding and they can only know what their husband to be wants them to know! So my dear ladies just pray to God for the ability to discern the right from the wrong husband..... And pls if you guyz are already fornicating and praying to God for a problem free marriage, you guyz are just another bunch of time wasters!

The worst thing that can happen in a marriage is lack of communication. This kills faster than a grenade.
@OP, ur marriage is what you make of it. Goodluck babey!

kingk:

Why *fear*? Give your best and you will receive the best too.

If only that were the absolute rule . But I have placed my heart well, so should be fun

Impregnating your sister in-law or raping your mother in-law.i guess that could be the worse

ona2: I found myself recently thinking and wondering what I will do if my husband finally did not fulfill the promise he made almost a year ago this month, that by month ending he will reunite the family. I am really getting fed up with living like a spinster again and I was telling myself that if that promise was broken, he had better prepare for the worst. Now, what is the worst that can ever happen to a marriage?

The worst that can happen is that you die (without him using you for Ogwu ego)..

Thats is equivalent to bad investment

Death of the breadwinner of the family is the worst that can happen every other instances mentioned can be taken care of if common sense is applied but death is irreversible.
@OP
Abuja to Lagos is not far na with flight you don land abuja under 1 hour, stop searching for negative things that might happen and start doing positive things that will help your marriage.