I had friends in school and I mean good old pals not acquaintances or 'Hello Hi's but over time these relationships have become estranged due to work and location changes. Now we may just chat online or through the phone occasionally but theres been this need to have men to hang out with on Friday evenings.

I must admit that life's experiences have taught me to be weary of allowing people get too close but sometimes you need that right hand man you can call up at 1am and he'll show. I don't do so well at small talk and my job had been majorly independent work on the field so theres no colleagues to roll around with. I also find its hard to find someone I can relate with on the same mind level. Priorities always differ. Its not pride or anything but I can't be talking about girls or other people, I'd rather talk about ideas and fun past experiences.

Anyone else been in my shoes?

How did you handle these issues?

Thanks

womaniser:
I had friends in school and I mean good old pals not acquaintances or 'Hello Hi's but over time these relationships have become estranged due to work and location changes. Now we may just chat online or through the phone occasionally but theres been this need to have men to hang out with on Friday evenings.

I must admit that life's experiences have taught me to be weary of allowing people get too close but sometimes you need that right hand man you can call up at 1am and he'll show. I don't do so well at small talk and my job had been majorly independent work on the field so theres no colleagues to roll around with. I also find its hard to find someone I can relate with on the same mind level. Priorities always differ. Its not pride or anything but I can't be talking about girls or other people, I'd rather talk about ideas and fun past experiences.

Anyone else been in my shoes?

How did you handle these issues?

Thanks

We share the same friendship predicaments

Go and marry.

womaniser:
I had friends in school and I mean good old pals not acquaintances or 'Hello Hi's but over time these relationships have become estranged due to work and location changes. Now we may just chat online or through the phone occasionally but theres been this need to have men to hang out with on Friday evenings.

I must admit that life's experiences have taught me to be weary of allowing people get too close but sometimes you need that right hand man you can call up at 1am and he'll show. I don't do so well at small talk and my job had been majorly independent work on the field so theres no colleagues to roll around with. I also find its hard to find someone I can relate with on the same mind level. Priorities always differ. Its not pride or anything but I can't be talking about girls or other people, I'd rather talk about ideas and fun past experiences.

Anyone else been in my shoes?

How did you handle these issues?

Thanks

You're now a man.... Welcome to that phase of life.


You should learn to keep acquaintance. Having a best friend should not involve him being close to your wife or female kids...


Just get a woman and make her your friend.

dawnomike:
We share the same friendship predicaments

Comforting to know I'm not alone in this

@Jasonjnr @meobizy

I knew suggestions of marriage will come. I am happily married and I talk with my wife on an intimate level but if you'rearroed like me you will agree there are some issues a woman will not understand basically because she is more emotional and idealistic.

Besides, work places me in places I don't intend to move my family to and when I'm done with work in Friday, I can't chill alone at my apartment all the time. You'll want to unwind outdoors for example and sitting alone can bring unwanted temptations and a boring lifestyle.

Maybe it's too much to ask anyway and one should just settle into this mature dull life.

womaniser:
@Jasonjnr @meobizy

I knew suggestions of marriage will come. I am happily married and I talk with my wife on an intimate level but if you'rearroed like me you will agree there are some issues a woman will not understand basically because she is more emotional and idealistic.

Besides, work places me in places I don't intend to move my family to and when I'm done with work in Friday, I can't chill alone at my apartment all the time. You'll want to unwind outdoors for example and sitting alone can bring unwanted temptations and a boring lifestyle.

Maybe it's too much to ask anyway and one should just settle into this mature dull life.

Your best shot so far....

I do same....

I find me a sitout spot and take fresh wine and fruit juice....I literally stopped taking beers coz I was beginning to have a big tummy....So I use fruits alot to calm my evenings....


You'll soon be olrite!!

@OP: You are not alone.

In the days of our parents, they had intimate friends outside of their spouses even if they change jobs or locations 10 times a year. I could remember the countless number of family friends we had while growing up.

These days, you might live in same compound with someone and no absolutely nothing about them.

Our generation lack real friendships and intimacy now. It's just you, your spouse & acquaintances. No thanks to Social media, survival mode and more recently JAPA phenomenon.

It is what it is

A lot of people are on this table . A friend once told me to learn how to be alone and enjoy myself without feeling lonely.
It worked.

womaniser:
@Jasonjnr @meobizy

I knew suggestions of marriage will come. I am happily married and I talk with my wife on an intimate level but if you'rearroed like me you will agree there are some issues a woman will not understand basically because she is more emotional and idealistic.

Besides, work places me in places I don't intend to move my family to and when I'm done with work in Friday, I can't chill alone at my apartment all the time. You'll want to unwind outdoors for example and sitting alone can bring unwanted temptations and a boring lifestyle.

Maybe it's too much to ask anyway and one should just settle into this mature dull life.

Learn to stay content in your own existence. Nobody completes anyone. This type of mindset is why men jump into relationships with the wrong females. In your case, a friendship.

If you’re bored as an individual, you will be bored with friends.

Juoflife1:
A lot of people are on this table . A friend once told me to learn how to be alone and enjoy myself without feeling lonely.
It worked.

How did you do it?

Juoflife1:
A lot of people are on this table . A friend once told me to learn how to be alone and enjoy myself without feeling lonely.
It worked.

Thanks.. I'll definitely work on this.

meobizy:
Go and marry.

this is perhaps the most senseless thing i have heard on an important thread like this

Orobokibo1:



this is perhaps the most senseless thing i have heard on an important thread like this

Stay angry.

A man that cannot enjoy his own company or Alone time,

Is not matured enough yet

Op, learn to enjoy your space, your own company

Alone time, encourages critical thinking

And critical thinking can solve one or two problems

womaniser:
I had friends in school and I mean good old pals not acquaintances or 'Hello Hi's but over time these relationships have become estranged due to work and location changes. Now we may just chat online or through the phone occasionally but theres been this need to have men to hang out with on Friday evenings.

I must admit that life's experiences have taught me to be weary of allowing people get too close but sometimes you need that right hand man you can call up at 1am and he'll show. I don't do so well at small talk and my job had been majorly independent work on the field so theres no colleagues to roll around with. I also find its hard to find someone I can relate with on the same mind level. Priorities always differ. Its not pride or anything but I can't be talking about girls or other people, I'd rather talk about ideas and fun past experiences.

Anyone else been in my shoes?

How did you handle these issues?

Thanks

Today, I put on my favourite songs and danced happily in perfect solitude. The feeling was almost...divine

womaniser:
I had friends in school and I mean good old pals not acquaintances or 'Hello Hi's but over time these relationships have become estranged due to work and location changes. Now we may just chat online or through the phone occasionally but theres been this need to have men to hang out with on Friday evenings.

I must admit that life's experiences have taught me to be weary of allowing people get too close but sometimes you need that right hand man you can call up at 1am and he'll show. I don't do so well at small talk and my job had been majorly independent work on the field so theres no colleagues to roll around with. I also find its hard to find someone I can relate with on the same mind level. Priorities always differ. Its not pride or anything but I can't be talking about girls or other people, I'd rather talk about ideas and fun past experiences.

Anyone else been in my shoes?

How did you handle these issues?

Thanks

I chose and kept a Very small useful circle.
Amazing!
You don't need many people
You just need the few right one's.

I interact with a lot of people at work. Go to the restaurant or cook what I want. Go to the park. Shopping, internet, Sometimes I go watch football in a viewing center or I catch up here. I make little repairs around the house, I drink alcohol and vib my p. My long distance relationship too is fun. My son is a handful. There is so much to do and some days I wish for the day to extend beyond 24hrs. I chat with my friends too when we have time . I really enjoy my days.

newcommer:



How did you do it?

Some of your guys here really do not understand this man or lack capacity to read his mind. What’s with the “learn to stay alone, that’s how maturity is blah blah blah”…

Op, you are not alone. I am also married with a kid, but disconnected from lots of friends due to the obvious factors you highlighted. Sometimes, you want to go out, chill and catch fun but you have really limited number of friends that you feel you can easily connect with. Mine is even worse than yours when I factor in the fact that I don’t drink or smoke. So basically going to the bar is out of it for me. Most stiles, the routine is just work and home. I recently started involving myself with my tribal programs that is being done on monthly basis. If you are rhe exercise loving type, you might want to hit the gym or where you can go engage in sport and meet other people. That’s the best advice I can give you

You don't need many friends jare. Just Find a cool spot and hangout there often If you feel you must mingle with the peoplein your community, na you go tire cus you'll definitely meet the good, the bad and the ugly if you're fond of handing out at ur cool spot

It's a phase of life embrace it. I used to be the life of the party. I make a fun experience more fun back in the day. But now I'm so cool on my own. I don't hae that many friends anymore. Just serenity, i take myself out alone. Go to cool spotm i see it as a phase of life. This doesn't mean i can't hold good conversation, I'm cool alone. But when i need that extroverted life style to come in effect, i make it happen.

Join a social club or a church unit if you're a Pentecostal
Participate in your alumni association activities
Both for the uni and sec school you attend
Connect with more people on social media by posting meaningful content

Thanks so much for the inputs everyone.

No matter how much you try to find peace alone, it would work at some point but not always. Honestly I miss having real friends. I enjoy my solitude sometimes, but other times I crave for that close friendship I don’t have. Nobody understands it

No one is an island, we all need good friends though its hard to get these days