Is This Person Right for Me ?

Have you found someone who might be a good marriage partner? If so, how can you tell if that person is right for you?

It’s vital that you look beyond superficial traits. After all, the cutest girl may not be trustworthy or the most popular boy may not be morally upright. You want someone you’ll be comfortable with​—someone who truly fits your personality and your goals.​—Genesis 2:18; Matthew 19:​4-6.

Looking Beyond the Surface
Look at your friend objectively. Be careful, though! You might be inclined to see only what you want to see. So take your time. Try to perceive your friend’s true nature.

Many who date don’t look beyond the surface. Instead, they quickly point to the things they have in common: “We like the same music.” “We enjoy the same activities.” “We agree on everything!” However, you need to look beyond superficial traits. You need to discern “the secret person of the heart.” (1 Peter 3:4; Ephesians 3:16)

Rather than focus on how much you agree on things, it might be more revealing to note what happens when you disagree.

For example, consider the following:

How does this person handle conflict​—by insisting on his or her way, perhaps giving in to “fits of anger” or “abusive speech”? (Galatians 5:​19, 20; Colossians 3:8 )

Or does this person show reasonableness​—a willingness to yield for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?​—James 3:17.

Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous? Does he or she demand to know your every move?

How is that one viewed by others?

You may want to talk to those who have known this person for some time. That way you will know if he or she is “well reported on.”​—Acts 16:​1, 2


Be objective.

Take a step back and analyze the relationship. Ask yourself, ‘Do I have solid reasons for thinking that this person is treating me differently from others?’ Don’t let your emotions hijack your “power of reason.”​—Romans 12:1.

Be discerning.

Out of all those signs that make you think you might be more than friends, pay special attention to the signs that make you second-guess yourself. Don’t assume that just because you feel a certain way about someone, the feeling is mutual.

Be patient.

Until the person says explicitly that he or she wants to get to know you in a romantic way, don’t invest more in the relationship than you can afford to lose.

Be honest.

The Bible says that there is “a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:7) If you want to find out whether someone views you as more than just a friend, talk it out with the person. “If the feelings aren’t mutual, it’s better to be a little hurt now than to go on for months before realizing that this person wasn’t interested in the first place.

The bottom line:
“Safeguard your heart,” says Proverbs 4:​23. If you feel drawn to someone, find out if that person is drawn to you. Allowing romantic feelings to take root before then is like trying to grow a plant on a solid stone.

If you discover that the person does have feelings for you​—and if you’re old enough and ready to date​—then it’s up to you to decide if you want to pursue the relationship. Remember, a strong marriage is made up of a husband and wife who share the same spiritual goals and who are also up-front and honest with each other. (1 Corinthians 7:​39) In fact, they no doubt started out as​—and continue to be​—good friends.​—Proverbs 5:​18.







Mynd44
Seun
Dominique
Rule 2

Good read.

Great stuff. Thank you.

Rocktation
dominique
farano