Hope you don't have kids yet cos the boy will still carry out the act on them. Why would the parents leave their kids to be trained by their granny. Grandparents of nowadays are too soft unlike ours that handled us with iron fists. The boy's parents should take up the responsibility of raising their children. If you bring the boy home, get ready to guard any kid around you. That 20years old guy, na God go punish am. The truth is that once kids learn this dirty habit, to stop am na by God's grace cos there are kids around to try it out especially at school. You have to instill fear and discipline on that boy before he can be able to stop the act.

Geez. Did u catch the small boy red handed after taking him to ur house? Cos I only read u took him to ur house,bought cane and extracted guilty confessions by caning after d boy said no. To me,guilt admission that comes after denial in a torture environment isn't admissible.and children can say anything slanderous without knowing d full implication. So if it's by caning him without catching him red handed then this is very wrong

Mindlog:


Whether the boy is from the man's side or the woman's, is still doesn't make it suitable to have him in their home.

In need of help, I know but having him brought home where there are likely younger ones or slightly older ones is poor risk assessment.

While OP gets the 20 years old perpetrator arrested and the birth parents least concerned, the boy needs professional child mental healthcare intervention because he Is a child with PSB (Problematic Sexual Behaviour) and just mixing him with other younger ones in a residential set up is not of anyone's best interest, beating and mere monitoring,(they can't monitor him for 24hrs) will not cut it .

In as much as OP wants to help, he should not nurture a bigger problem. If Nigeria was an organized set up and should that boy in any way gets sexually inappropriate with the OP's younger children or slightly older ones, he risks losing custody of the affected child/children.

The boy is a victim but we can't ignore that he is also a perpetrator who is abusing younger ones and in dire need of Cognitive Behavioural Play Therapy, he has to be in an adult only residential set up for now.

The only difference btwn what I'm saying and u are saying is ure making ur formal why mine is doing same thing informal. This is not a new case or a case that has never happened in homes in different forms and shapes which are addressed or corrected without all these formal setups and public embarrassment to a young kid.

Infact if not done privately enough it can backfire and lead to suicide in some case labelling and exposing a kid as a public sex offender.

I understand ur concept of organised society bt even then parenting is the first line of correction not abrogtating ur responsibility to strangers like teachers or professional counsellors once an issue comes up.
Why are u a parent then? The problem of such organised society is the don't punish their kids like Africans do and treat young kids like adults which is good bt also bad In some cases.

There was a kid that went on to commit suicide after he was made to attend professional counselling at skol for some abnormal behaviour. Where are his parents and did they consider the sensitivity of the issues when getting a counsellor? that's is hoping they had taken initial parenting steps b4 getting a professional.

Please don't let the 20yrs old go free for this. He corrupted the poor kid and the poor kid corrupted another kid and the 3yrs old girl night corrupt other kids curtsey of the 20yrs old adults.
Whenever i hear kids doing things like this, i always know that it's either they learned it from home or someone somewhere is teaching them.
Don't beat the boy again infact sit him down and talk to him. He's very young and will listen and learn. Tell him not allow anyone male or female to touch his private part. For God's sake these things should be thought in nursery schools because kids are no longer safe from adults. If you have your own kids and they have started talking, tell them not to allow anyone touch their private part. I really pity the little boy.

jaxxy:


The only difference btwn what I'm saying and u are saying is ure making ur formal why mine is doing same thing informal. This is not a new case or a case that has never happened in homes in different forms and shapes which are addressed or corrected without all these formal setups and public embarrassment to a young kid.

Infact if not done privately enough it can backfire and lead to suicide in some case labelling and exposing a kid as a public sex offender.

I understand ur concept of organised society bt even then parenting is the first line of correction not abrogtating ur responsibility to strangers like teachers or professional counsellors once an issue comes up.
Why are u a parent then? The problem of such organised society is the don't punish their kids like Africans do and treat young kids like adults which is good bt also bad In some cases.

There was a kid that went on to commit suicide after he was made to attend professional counselling at skol for some abnormal behaviour. Where are his parents and did they consider the sensitivity of the issues when getting a counsellor? that's is hoping they had taken initial parenting steps b4 getting a professional.

Who is "labelling" and "exposing" a kid as a public sex offender? The law even protects a minor who is a perpetrator, as his or her identity must remain anonymous.

How do you think the 20 year old gay paedophile got to the level where he is now or you believe his family didn't know about his problematic sexual behaviour right from the onset?

Parenting on two levels have already failed the child, his birth parents and his granny who all do not see anything wrong in his behaviour.

That boy needs help but not bringing him into a home that may likely have younger ones, it is not wisdom

When therapy/counseling is to be offered a minor (anyone) under 18, there is must be signed consent form by the parent(s)/guardian and the first therapy/counseling session must have the parent(s)/guardian in the room to help transition the minor into building confidence in the process where the certified child therapist/counsellor has to exude congruence, empathy, unconditional positive regard and confidentiality which I very much doubt was the case of that SA kid that committed because I can somehow connect to what he might had felt as I did feel so diminished after my encounter with our so called school counsellor in my secondary school days who was also a subject teacher.

In retrospect, I can confidently confirm she was so unqualified to handle sensitive issues of young persons.

Let us not deceive ourselves into believing that in many African homes, that a lot of sexual deviancy noticed during childhood was corrected, many were treated with lack of appropriate seriousness as the boy's birth parents and granny just exhibited.

funkmrflexx:
3 of my sisters children live with my mom. I'm the one in charge of their school cus their parents don't live in the same city. So I found out the last one which is about 7 years Fingered my neighbors daughter of about 3 years. The father of the girl who's a good friend of mine told me.
He said it had happened twice, first about 3 months ago and again before Christmas.
He said after his daughter told him the first time he warned the boy but the boy did it again. I asked my mom and she mom said it's a lie that the boy can't do anything like that, I even later find out that my mom told the little boy to stop greeting the man.

So I took the 3 of them to my house for holiday and after I heard the issue I promised the girls father that I would find out the truth, he told me that the boy is very smart but we need to be careful with him. And the reason he didn't take the issue very far Is because of me and I apologized to him and told him I would deal with the issue.

When we got to my house, I bought cane and I flogged the boy, at first he denied it but later confessed that he did it, that it was another boy (of about 20 years that showed him how to do it) that the boy even fingered his anus twice. I severely punished him and he promised not to do it again

Now the issue is that I don't feel like letting the boy going back to stay with my mom cus the other ones are saying it's my mom is one of the people spoiling the boy cus he's her favorite grandchild. I'm thinking of taking the boy from my mom and have in stay with Me and my wife but my wife thinks he's too small (he's just 7) she said we should wait till a bit older and we should take one of the other ones who are older.

But I feel a little boy having gone through something like this needs to be straightened out now before it's too late and I also don't want to make it an issue with my wife.
I'm scared that if the boy grows up and becomes something else knowing that I could do something when he was little, I will feel very bad because that's how them bobrisky take start

Start by reporting the matter to the parents first.

Your wife should calm down, why does she want an older person?, is she looking for who will help her do house chores or to help save someone's life?.