@TOH

@ Toks81.

That was a nice one.
There is nothing on earth that prayers could not handle. But the only problem is that prayers require patience.  Most times you ddon'tget answers to your prayers immediately, it may takes days, weeks, months and even years before you receive answers to some critical situations.  How many people can wait for so long? During the period of waiting for a stray spouse to come back what do you do?

@babeelove
babeelove na wa oh! thank God we don't put our real names up in here.
@weebee
I still stand by what i said on prayer.I know some1very close to me now after just almost 2 years of marriage is suspecting her husband of creeping.The guy sef dull,him no just try in coding the deal at all at all.

Before u get into marriage i always say u would have seen the creeping tendencies just that us women always just fool our selves.Fine s**t happens and he can stray but if he never had the tendencies andwas lured into it and then u pray.He will come back to his senses.There are dangerous prayers for stuff like that just ask and u will be given .

When i was younger because of stories i always heard my take on marriage was for me to leave in another country with my kids far from my husband distance makes the heart grow fonder right?But now that am old i know better and thank God for the man he has blessed me with.H e makes me want to say YES over and over again.

Finding the right one is hard but once u do keep him and please marry your friend when u do bah wahala!

weebee stay cool u sound like a really nice person!

weebee:

@ Toks81.

That was a nice one.
There is nothing on earth that prayers could not handle. But the only problem is that prayers require patience. Most times you ddon'tget answers to your prayers immediately, it may takes days, weeks, months and even years before you receive answers to some critical situations. How many people can wait for so long? During the period of waiting for a stray spouse to come back what do you do?

Honey,like you I'm a born again Christian but unlike you I would not wait for a stray spouse to come back.
My life is too precious for a man to kill me with a private part laden with HIV.
I may love him but not to death.

I dont see a cure, but i think, would be nice for the couple to always sit down, take a break, take time out and make each other feel like the king and the queen, ladies, treat the man like nothing else in this world matters, make him feel like a giant, let him feel like he is the president, the VP, the petroleum minister and even the finance minister, a man ( and when i say a man, i dont mean a man that think he is a man, all cos he has a mimi-willy btw his legs oh ) a real man is one with a heart and a feeling, a real man that cheats on his wife after being made to feel like all listed above, should be snapped and have witness and send him to sharia court.
A man that is treated nice and well taken cared of by the wife has no reason to wanna creep, what you looking for is at home, you want sex, get it for ya wife, if the ladies outside are dressing skimpy, buy your wife skimpy dresses, if the babes out there sucks your dick, teach your wife how to lick da banana and be patient till she is perfect with it, if the babe out there is skinny and ya wife is over weight, take her to the gym and be willing to help her thru it, just thnk of her as your sister or mother, how would you feel if she is being treated the way you treating your wife, let us have a heart and treat them how we will like to be treated, what do i know? i am just a virgin rhino

@osisi

so my dear what do you do especially when u know he is cheating ,u have not caught him red handed with his pants down but so many indications point that way.

Men it is easy to talk here on nairaland when not acyually faced with one now.my friend hubby is cheating on her,we know cause his waka last week saturday has been checked out to be false.He claimed he was at a bussiness meeting in lekki and lekki road was jammed because of a party .

He works in oil and gas,and always has to close late but we now no that his late nights have jara to it.Besides some chick called him am sure by mistake and my friend picked it.

She wants my advice.So my dear how does she solve this!

HELP HELP HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP

toks81:


@osisi

so my dear what do you do especially when u know he is cheating ,u have not caught him red handed with his pants down but so many indications point that way.

Men it is easy to talk here on nairaland when not acyually faced with one now.my friend hubby is cheating on her,we know cause his waka last week saturday has been checked out to be false.He claimed he was at a bussiness meeting in lekki and lekki road was jammed because of a party .

He works in oil and gas,and always has to close late but we now no that his late nights have jara to it.Besides some chick called him am sure by mistake and my friend picked it.

She wants my advice.So my dear how does she solve this!

HELP HELP HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP

My dear,I happen to work in health care delivery.
I have seen the tears and heartaches of HIV patients infected by lovers and spouses.
I have had a husband plead with me not to inform a wife he was HIV positive.
I have seen patients die from HIV.

I refuse to be a willing participant in someone giving me HIV.

If all fingers point that my spouse is sleeping around and his "alibi" don't check out.

I will first get tested

suspend all sexual contacts

hire a paid and reliable private detective to trail him and insert a hidden camera in the car if I have to.

Men are careless,with little detective work from the woman,she'll get her hard core evidence.

My dear toks never ever let anyone convince you that cheating is what men do.
That is a lie from the pit of hell.
I will not settle for a cheating spouse and no woman should,Christian or Shango worshipper.

+osisi:

My dear,I happen to work in health care delivery.
I have seen the tears and heartaches of HIV patients infected by lovers and spouses.
I have had a husband plead with me not to inform a wife he was HIV positive.
I have seen patients die from HIV.

I refuse to be a willing participant in someone giving me HIV.

If all fingers point that my spouse is sleeping around and his "alibi" don't check out.

I will first get tested

suspend all sexual contacts

hire a paid and reliable private detective to trail him and insert a hidden camera in the car if I have to.

Men are careless,with little detective work from the woman,she'll get her hard core evidence.

My dear toks never ever let anyone convince you that cheating is what men do.
That is a lie from the pit of hell.
I will not settle for a cheating spouse and no woman should,Christian or Shango worshipper.

I am happy you recognize that sometimes you are not a willing participant.  Husbands give HIV to the wives more than the other way round--------because they stray more and often are not selective as to where they stick their sticks!!!

There are more things to worry about in life than a cheating spouse of whom you have no control over.  The next one nko?  Please concentrate on your kids and wait patiently for death to come if you have a "cheating" spouse!!! Most people are walking around especially in Nigeria with the virus and spreading it---Only to find out when they apply for visas to travel abroad or during some "freak" flu-like symtoms.

No concept of "annual" physical exams--everything is cured by the medicine man.

As long as you have eaten that forbidden fruit---you are at risk, since latency phase can be prolonged indefinitely---Do you know what your past partners deposited in you before you split  One or ten HIV negative test means nothing---You can only hope and pray that "tomorrow" never comes in that respect.  You leave HIV--hepatitis and herpes nko.  1 in 3 Nigerians have Herpes and do not even know it. Carry the thing dey waka about.

In the meantime, I refuse to be a prisoner of some freaking fear.  While I do not advocate infidelity,--_{one at a time and as many as you want!!!!} I am not one to sit around and wait for love to love me.  If I am not getting what I need--I am so ourrra there---!!!!  I have to find it where it is best.  I do not have patience for indecision---trial romances. In the final analysis, these fears can be distributed to you while you are in your matrimonial home.  The husband or wife can bring you the "big present", and you may never even know.  Wetin go happen make e happen. You have very little control over a "wandering arse"!  By the time you know it---it is too late. 

Then why get married if you are going to do so in constant fear and suspicion  Stay single and cut down your risk.  Then you only have to worry about your towels and toothbrushes!!!  He he he he he!!!   Magic Johnson no dey alive! We are all going to die anyway!

I feel everything should be handed over to God in prayers. Ladies should also be careful what they do when they are single cos what goes around comes around.
I have a friend "married" that sleeps with anything in skirt claiming he loves his wife but can't help himself and says his wife spoils him crazy still he chases single gals around, I feel this kind of problem (Infidelity) should be handed over to God.

@osisi

GEE THANKS FOR THE ADVICE!BUT AS FOR PRIVATE I IN NAIJA I DON'T THINK WE HAVE THEM AROUND BUT WILL CHECK AROUND FOR IT.

@ OSISI

Gee thanks for the advice.But the private I thing might not work i hav not heard of people who offer such services.anyways thanks all the same will forward ur reply to her asap.

$$Rhino:

I don't see a cure, but i think, would be nice for the couple to always sit down, take a break, take time out and make each other feel like the king and the queen, ladies, treat the man like nothing else in this world matters, make him feel like a giant, let him feel like he is the president, the VP, the petroleum minister and even the finance minister, a man ( and when i say a man, i don't mean a man that think he is a man, all because he has a mimi-willy between his legs oh ) a real man is one with a heart and a feeling, a real man that cheats on his wife after being made to feel like all listed above, should be snapped and have witness and send him to sharia court.
A man that is treated nice and well taken cared of by the wife has no reason to want to creep, what you looking for is at home, you want sex, get it for ya wife, if the ladies outside are dressing skimpy, buy your wife skimpy dresses, if the babes out there sucks your privates, teach your wife how to lick da banana and be patient till she is perfect with it, if the babe out there is skinny and ya wife is over weight, take her to the gym and be willing to help her through it, just thnk of her as your sister or mother, how would you feel if she is being treated the way you treating your wife, let us have a heart and treat them how we will like to be treated, what do i know? i am just a virgin rhino

There are too many women who have done that, and yet the man still leaves them to fool around with anything in a skirt. I know a particular guy whose wife is a top-notch beautiful elegant lawyer. She rushes home to cook his meals and does all she can to give him the best. Yet, this guy still picks up street girls anytime she goes away for a two-day conference or if he has some time to spare. those girls are not even in his wife's class.

Some men. . . .na only God fit save dem!

laudate:

There are too many women who have done that, and yet the man still leaves them to fool around with anything in a skirt. I know a particular guy whose wife is a top-notch beautiful elegant lawyer. She rushes home to cook his meals and does all she can to give him the best. Yet, this guy still picks up street girls anytime she goes away for a two-day conference or if he has some time to spare. those girls are not even in his wife's class.

Some men. . . .na only God fit save them!

So what do you suggest these women do as a cure to the "wandering pricks"?

Chop off the pricks. That might help.

ono:

Chop off the pricks. That might help.

I think so too! And the female ones too!

cliemieNH89 @ Ose

You have won the award as the Nairaland Sexist.

Please go to hell to collect it! Tongue
what is the meaning of this i don't think this a a forum for any kind of talk or insults u really piss me off

osereka, im sorry to inform you that all the points you listed to justify why men cant keep their marriage vows are wrong.These are not strong enough to justify infidelity in marriage.If all men out there would just love their wives unconditionaly then the world would be a better place because if true love exist between husbands and their wives it will reflect in the lives of their children, and if you can show me any man that cheats on his wife and is trully happy,then i will show you a man that has started digging his own grave without knowing.God said two are better than one,that means a wife is designed to make life better for the husband,so inviting a third party in the name of girlfriend or bedmate implies going against the wish of God and this will only lead to regret.Husbands love your wives even as christ loves the church,is the church perfect or without sin?yet God's love has not and will never change,so husbands just learn to love your wives unconditionaly and there wont be any need of any 'extra tyre'.thank you.,

women of today are one major problem that drives men into adultry

1 they will not allow you to have wifey no two

2 they don't know how to take good care of their men

3 they tend to forget the husband when they have children

4 some of them don't even know how to take good care of themselves after marriage etc

We must appreciate when people talk from experience. I suspect Osere is a married man. I will like all female in this house to learn from this.

Truth is bitter but it is always constant. In a matter like this, your can never get a cure without first getting the cure.

Reality about marriage are not what we read in the books, they are issues that are peculiar to every individual.

Love, Sex and affection are other things I also see as cure to infidelity. Spouse must understand themselves in this three areas.

I am glad a lot of people bothered to give their opinion; kudos to all.
Infidelity unfortunately is not a gender thing these days and i honestly don't believe polygamy is the answer, for most humans the chase, the risk and the danger that makes it exciting ends once you marry the second wife so you head out again.
The same type of temptations exist in the world out there for both sexes, but some people just forget all they have at stake and just go for it!!
I don't blame people who pack up their marriages because of infidelity,as there is more to it than just the "cheating",think about it,
If your spouse cheats it means she has had to lie to you for a while .
i. How will you ever believe what she ever say says?
ii. How are you sure she has not contracted any disease?
iii. How can you be sure it won't happen again?
iv.How are you sure she still loves you and that she is not only back because of the children or worse still because the other person wouldn't have her?
Finally, how can you possibly plan the future with someone like that?once the trust dies your marriage is as good as dead and once your husband stops caring what you do or who you're with the end is near.
As for the cure , i feel if we all constantly remember to " do unto other as you would want them to do unto you" life in general will be a better place to live.

It`s really a painful sceniaro.Only God will help us.I bet you can`t be too trusting.It`S MORE PAINFUL WHE christians who should know better engage in it.The best solution is to confide in your spouse if you tempted to sexual sin so that both of you can come to an understanding instead of trying the next available gal.Hiv is rife and you can`t know who has it by looking at faces.Everybody should be careful and zip up.

Infidelity is an incurable disease!

Sorry to burst your bubble but a cheating person is a cheating person. It has nothing to do with god or the intervention of the supernatural. If a person decides to stop cheating, he/she does it at his/her own will. No amount of "prayers" would stop a person from straying outside a union if they want to.

@ poster

YES THERE IS


KILL THE GUILTY ONE WITH A SHOT GUN

This disease is rampant in our society now. Previously, men were the worse offenders, but it's like women are catching up fast. If care is not taken, women might overtake men sooner than we think. It's like our sex hormones are getting hotter and more active these days. . Lord have mercy.

Our married women have gone bersek in their pursuit of extra - marital relationships. The tide seems to have changed. Married women commit adultery more than married men. That is the sad truth.

infidelity is a product of man's quest 4 an excessive lifestyle. but the reality is that there is an abundant provision in God. no matter what u say any one who has truly found God and is living in its consciousness can avoid it confortably. basically, its hard but the truth is thait is very possible with christ. no matter what society may turn out to be there is an abundant provision in God. many who indulge in infidelity are victims of ignorance. ignorance stands as the barricade to a descent lifestle. if ur a victim, then go 4 adequate knowledge which is the only true leveler of men

poster ,i think your statistics is wrong .men who re self disciplined remain faithful to their wives,they might be few though.As for cure,i can only offer tips .Men should try and be bold enough to let their wives know when they start becoming unattractive so they say and give her what it will take to get her back to the attractive lady you married.It may hurt her but she ll appreciate it more than jumping out to cheat.i wonder why people give flimsy reasons for being undisciplined,immature and controlled by their flesh.

I n the bible,God did not give excuses for any one man or woman to commit adultery, hence,there is no reason why you should commit adultery from the religious point of view.

looking at it from the social perspective,I have a question for men.How can you expect something out of nothing?
You get attracted to single girls out there cos they look attractive whatever you call it.yet you cannot invest in your wife by giving her the treat and care that she deserves.The thing is that you ll first of all recognize the fact that your wife is your responsibilty to make her continue looking the way she was when you married her by taking care of her needs and not seeing them as waste of resources on her and at the same time spending on another woman.Men let me give you one fact that you dont know,do not think that the woman who you re dating as a married man loves you as she claims cos she needs your resources to maintain herself and you re one of her mugus.

secondly ,she knows you re already hooked and has other people who she also gets that money from and above all may ve a serious relationship or even a fiancee who she cannot give up for you.Do not expect wonders from your wife if you re simply incapable of making her look good>I tell you men,if your wife is happy with you ,it will be difficult for her to play around.Another thing is that,if you were a player when you were single,it ll only take the grace of God for you to stop no matter what your wife does to keep you at home.

AS for women,remember that prayer is the key and bond that holds a family together.the same thing goes for a woman who cheats on her husband,if you were not faithful when you were single,it will be difficult for you to stop now but all the same.I dont support any form of cheat from man or woman.

My advice for women is:

If you dated a married man when you were single,ask God sincerely for forgiveness and pray that your cheating husband is visited by God,take care of your husy and do all you can as his wife to remain goodlooking,calm and respectful no matter what.Be a caring,loving and understanding wife.make your home peaceful to stay in.Your heart will be more at peace even if your man goes out to other women cos you know that you re doing their best and pls just assume that your husy is faithful ,give him the benefit of doubt until PROVEN otherwise.

To men:

Take proper care of your wives,show them that they re aprreciated and make them look like the girls you go after,if her boobs are sagged,take her for a boob job if you can afford it,buy her anti ageing reliable creams,watch porn together if possible,change her underwears and night gowns yourself as you ll pick the sexy ones for your girlfriends,register her with a gym if shes fat ,introduce her to exercises that tighten the vagina if it s too loose for you,tell her the hairstyles that attract you,,make her happy,give her inner peace of mind,talk good about her in the presence of your friends .If you really treasure your marriage,you ll do your best to keep it.I think these will help and then if she cheats on you, show her no mercy that is if u re sure you re not cheating on her too.

Above all,No matter what,theres no excuse for infidelity.hope i made a point here

.Wish you all good luck

your no 3. point is quiet true as i have experienced that but the truth women are strong as they juggle a lot child, husband, career, home. but in all these there is nothing like faithfulness and been with ur best friend[quote author =osereka]women of today are one major problem that drives  men into adultry

1 they will not allow you to have wifey no two

2 they dont know how to take good care of their men

3 they tend to forget the husband when they have children

4 some of them dont even know how to take good care of themselves after marriage etc[/quote]

osereka: women of today are one major problem that drives  men into adultry

1 they will not allow you to have wifey no two

2 they dont know how to take good care of their men

3 they tend to forget the husband when they have children

4 some of them dont even know how to take good care of themselves after marriage etc

Abeg no let all the feminist in d house kill oh