Y.o.u - Literature - Nairaland
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| Y.o.u by Feanad: 6:17pm On Sep 13, 2011 |
Say she doesn't understand my poetry the rhyme scheme it seems bled out of the pen so I made out with spoken words sweet and fresh out like juice from cocoa pods thoughts I tickle; she giggles a smile, her inner core wiggles knows every hint; googles. The truth I dare! oh I seek the emotion to express you! Check www.nantygreens..com |
| Re: Y.o.u by dumodust(m): 10:37pm On Sep 15, 2011 |
Nice, I like this. But is the use of 'say' correct at the beginning. Maybe 'said' would be more appropriate. But all in all, it's spontaneous and has some rhythm about the midsection. |
| Re: Y.o.u by Feanad: 1:31pm On Oct 28, 2011 |
dumodust: Thanks for the comment. Apart from poetic license, 'say' and 'said' can be used interchangeable especially in Amer.Eng context. Look at a this phrase 'they said , ' and 'they say , ' Also in oral rendition, 'say' gives the start of the poem a better effect. You can check my blog www.nantygreens..com for more creative stuffs. We also accept contributions from creative individuals to be posted on the blog. If interested, send your entry to nantygreens@gmail.com. Thanks. |
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