@poster, you need to be having this conversation with your husband, any advise offered you here is just that, an advise, nothing more, until you have the conversation with your husband, this train aint moving jack.

i think the cost of adoption is almost the same as the cost of under going IVF,

so i would suggest you try going to any of the fertility centres in the country (Nordica, bridgestone clinic etc, )

they can help you with the TTC through IVF or other fertility methods. i think Adoption should be your last resort after that.

Good luck My dear.

Adapting a child does not mean that you want have a child of your own,so dont come and regret adapting a child when you start having your own children.THINK!!!

femi4:

Tell your husband to get a second wife, when she starts having her baby, i m sure yours will come as well. ORI OMO NI N PE OMO WAYE!

slowpoke

poster

though i don't know all you have done about not being able to conceive but have you and your husband gone to see a fertility specialist? have you tried invetro fertilization? what have you tried before you are resulting to adoption? Don't get me wrong adoption is doing God's work but have you really exhausted all your options?

If after u adopt the child,and God bless u with ur own child.pls don't take the adopted child as afreak.because i know what women can do

I think 4yrs is stil early bt u cn stil go for adoption.
Secondly,i dnt knw if u and ur husband have done all d necessary test about fertility to be sure that both of u are okay or nt. If both of u are normal it then means a spiritual problem.

Don't raise the issue with your husband because he may think that you're hidding something from him. 4 years is not that long.

And also
there are so many things we've done in the past (youthfull days) that could returned back to harm us.
Please you need to really pray to God for forgiveness if you had involved your self in these:

1. One or several Abortions
2. Encouraging a friend to abort
3. Having an affair with a married man that would have warranted the wife to placed a curse
4. Taking harsh pills / injection for pregnancy prevention

May God have mercy and help you through. It is well my dear

Come 2 my church, u wil definitely have a baby there. Ur case is just small. All u need is a rugged faith and believe dat God wil grant ur request. Some thing might b behind ur not having a child. Just come come 2 CHRIST CRUSADERS DELIVERANCE MINISTRY. For more info contact me on rhemakc@yahoo.com. Childlessness of 16yrs and above, God of Crusaders Ministry made them laugh like d case of Abraham and Sarah etc. Adoption should not be ur next option, come 2 God,

rhemakc:

Come 2 my church, u wil definitely have a baby there. your case is just small. All u need is a rugged faith and believe dat God wil grant your request. Some thing might b behind your not having a child. Just come come 2 CHRIST CRUSADERS DELIVERANCE MINISTRY. For more info contact me on rhemakc@yahoo.com. Childlessness of 16yrs and above, God of Crusaders Ministry made them laugh like d case of Abraham and Sarah etc. Adoption should not be your next option, come 2 God,

are they giving away free babies at your church

rhemakc:

Come 2 my church, u wil definitely have a baby there. your case is just small. All u need is a rugged faith and believe dat God wil grant your request. Some thing might b behind your not having a child. Just come come 2 CHRIST CRUSADERS DELIVERANCE MINISTRY. For more info contact me on rhemakc@yahoo.com. Childlessness of 16yrs and above, God of Crusaders Ministry made them laugh like d case of Abraham and Sarah etc. Adoption should not be your next option, come 2 God,

Looking for more tithe.

How much will be my percentage if i bring like 100 people to your church

rhemakc:

Come 2 my church, u wil definitely have a baby there. your case is just small. All u need is a rugged faith and believe dat God wil grant your request. Some thing might b behind your not having a child. Just come come 2 CHRIST CRUSADERS DELIVERANCE MINISTRY. For more info contact me on rhemakc@yahoo.com. Childlessness of 16yrs and above, God of Crusaders Ministry made them laugh like d case of Abraham and Sarah etc. Adoption should not be your next option, come 2 God,

What happens if she doesn't have a baby even after coming to your church? I know your answer will be that her faith is not strong enough or she doesn't have much believe in God. But that will be after milking her dry with your endless demand for tithes, offerings and seed sowing.

Please stop all these deceit in the name of God.

It really seems that you are spiritually empty ( don't know God ) and this is how people like you pay for it, why give up just after 4 years? I know u'll be concerned about what people say but I've got a few words for you: There is nothing God can not do, I've heard people conceive even without a womb and condemned by the doctor but God still did it.Only God can save u now

Duke007:

Oh Gee,my heart goes out 4 u.l can feel your pains,frustrations,desperation&inferiority @your inability 2 conceive.l ve b in d same conditn b4&beleive me l dont wish same 4 my enemy.l spent tons of money seekg medical help 4 my plight them,but there was no respite 4 me.Friends cal me an impotent man,neighbours jeered at me,l was advised to try oda women but l loved my wife too wel to do that.l cldnt imagine myself makg luv to anoda woman:ours was 'a marriage made in heaven &consolidated on earth'.So for 4years l endured wit her.We went to gyneanacologist hospital,  prayed,fasted and attended church prog 2geda til God gave us a baby.Adoption was suggested bt l waived it cos l knew l was sterile.I was d most happiest person when my wife was delivered of a baby.Sweetheart,adoption ain't d answer,it wil only compound your grieft.What u need is Jesus becos he is d giver of children.Get closer to God by havg a personal relatn wit him,continue in fasting & prayer,b in unison wit your hubby,undastand your ovulatn period,ve frequent penetrative sex wit your hubby,quit smoking,tak plenty of vitamin E,stop thinkg abt your problem cos it wil only sink your chances of conception.Avoid stres ,ABOVE ALL B IN UNISON WIT your HUBBY.You can contact me at:aaronukwenya@yahoo.co.uk 4 more help

Dude u were STERILE and your wife gave birth. Wow, that's a miracle I hope.

have u watch orphan, did u not learn anything?

my dear i understand how you feel, my husband and i just had our first child after 9 years of marriage. my advice to you is to trust God and continue to pray. please, don't adopt without  your husband's consent, one thing that kept our marriage was that we were united in all our decisions, the worst thing you can do is be in disagreement with your hubby, this will bring unnecessary pressure.

Try to persuade him, I can suggest that perhaps you start with caring for your nieces and nephews,friends children in your home for a week, weekend etc, this may persuade him. I did the same thing when i had this same challenge with my hubby, but eventually persuaded him round to us adopting, but God blessed us with our own, but we have now decided that we will still adopt at a later stage in our lives. God will bless you with your own too by HIS grace. try and stay relaxed( I know this is hard) but what the doctors told us was that if you are stressed, your body produces anti pregnancy hormones, so please try.

It's a personal decision that you and your hubby should make, not third parties.

If your husband agrees, adopt a chjld while you keep working for your own. Some people conceive only when they are less tensed up due to anxiety. God will give you your own in due course, try modern medical options and pray along.

I have a cousin inlaw who waited for about 10years and now has 2 kids. I also know a couple whose lives improved with the lowering of the husbands consistent rise in BP level shortly after adopting a child. Do what is best for you!

Not everyone can afford IVF treatments, go for the adoption route and good luck.

First of all, you cannot submit an adoption application if your husband does not sign the cosent form, secondly adoption is a tedious process you shoukd be preapred for, you will be mentally tested and a Judge will have to declare after visits from social welfare officers dat you environment is fit for a child. Thirdly, contrary to what we think not many children living in orphanages can be given for adoption, some were taken der for abuse cases, some der parents signed undertaken to be back for them, the kids given out are d ones whose parents are not known and can't be traced, so there are usually a lot of people who want to adopt but few babies. Am not saying all this to discourage you but just outlining some of the challenges you will face so that if you make up ur mind to go ahead you can be well prepared. I am praying this next batch of legislature will make surrogacy legal in Nigeria, so that instead of having baby farms we can have a legal agency where unwed mothers who can't raise babies can legally give their kids out to couples who need kids. The bill has been there for years. No one to greese their palms but if it is a money bill one week our legislatures are done

@Poster. I really feel for you and i pray that the Good lord will grant you your heart desires. Talk to your husband and hear his opinion about it. Wish you all the best.

A friend of mine is a pastor, his wife equally is a pastor. i've known them since 1991 till date no child. they decided to adopt a boy some three years back.

But you see the God who created us all can do and undo because He doesn't give account to anyone. The bible say children are gifts from God.
A child is  a child whether you gave birth to him or not.

You see there are tons of orphans out there looking for people to call parents.

so when couples don't get to have their own kids, who knows, it may be the Almighty's way of providing a home for one of those orphans.

we seldom look at such things in this perspective, do we?

terrafella:

It really seems that you are spiritually empty ( don't know God ) and this is how people like you pay for it, why give up just after 4 years? I know u'll be concerned about what people say but I've got a few words for you: There is nothing God can not do, I've heard people conceive even without a womb and condemned by the doctor but God still did it.Only God can save u now

very very wrong to call some you've never met spiritually empty.

You are too young to give up on having a child of your own. You need to try for at least many more years. Adopting is a serious thing and I don't get the impresion you really want the adopted baby.
Please think about it.

May the trials of Job never come to our doorsteps(amen). There are no situations that God cannot turnaround.

In this part of the world, adoption is not something you go out in the morning and come back in the evening with a child; I tell you it requires adequate planning

Besides, adoption is really too early even if you have been diagnosed with an impossible situation if you have God. Develop a positive attitude to life. Crying will only express your feelings and not give you a solution(don't forget that you don't need a high temp. & BP at this time)

Relate with someone who can encourage you with the word of God(not compulsorily your church members) at least people who'll not discuss your matters with others.

Continue to give thanks to God while he prepares your womb for blessed children

Have you tried praise and worship songs to the almighty God for one solid hour every week, it works wonder. We lost our first baby through miscarriage and carelessness, but we went for praise and worship for one hour, then i dreamt, the Lord told me in the dream to reject it. We rejected barreness and God answered. God bless you. God2man.

@All thanks a great deal. I discussed it with my husband but he felt it's too early for us. It's not that i have any medical issues as some have asked, it's just that i need something to keep me away from having to thinking about ttc. I'll still be thinking about it though. Following this my post i received a mail from a guy that claimed to have read my story on nairaland and said he felt touched. I was suprised because my Email is hidden and i thought nairaland is suppose to be an anonymous thing. He also sent message to my facebook and when i asked he said he begged the site owner for my Email address. I'm no more comfortable with this because i was told while registring that my email will not be shown to other user. Is this a normal thing in nairaland?uched. I was suprised because my Email is hidden and i thought nairaland is suppose to be an anonymous thing. He also sent message to my facebook and when i asked he said he begged the site owner for my Email address. I'm no more comfortable with this because i was told while registring that my email will not be shown to other user. Is this a normal thing in nairaland?

,

@ Temi, God will bless you with as many kids as you want. Remain strong and God will bless you hugely. Continue to love other people's kids and He will give you yours.