₦airaland Forum

God2man:
You can remain calm. You can have a private meeting together where issues will be analysed and resolved. You can admit your imperfections and apologize. You can move closer to her, and allow the body language to settle the crisis. You can turn it to a joke. You could make her laugh. God will teach you the rest. Above all, wisdom is profitable in all things. You need the correct application of knowledge, which is wisdom, to resolve crisis in the home. God help us all. God bless you. God2man. You can remain calm. You can have a private meeting together where issues will be analysed and resolved. You can admit your imperfections and apologize. You can move closer to her, and allow the body language to settle the crisis. You can turn it to a joke. You could make her laugh. God will teach you the rest. Above all, wisdom is profitable in all things. You need the correct application of knowledge, which is wisdom, to resolve crisis in the home. God help us all. God bless you. God2man.

Absolutely. When it comes to marriage everyone really needs to check their pride at the door. There is no room for anybody's ego. It is important that both people feel safe enough to be totally vulnerable with you. If someone does not find that safety in a marriage then it will just be a waste of time. I know some people can stay married that way but in my opinion tht marriage is a fail

God2man:
You can remain calm. You can have a private meeting together where issues will be analysed and resolved. You can admit your imperfections and apologize. You can move closer to her, and allow the body language to settle the crisis. You can turn it to a joke. You could make her laugh. God will teach you the rest. Above all, wisdom is profitable in all things. You need the correct application of knowledge, which is wisdom, to resolve crisis in the home. God help us all. God bless you. God2man. You can remain calm. You can have a private meeting together where issues will be analysed and resolved. You can admit your imperfections and apologize. You can move closer to her, and allow the body language to settle the crisis. You can turn it to a joke. You could make her laugh. God will teach you the rest. Above all, wisdom is profitable in all things. You need the correct application of knowledge, which is wisdom, to resolve crisis in the home. God help us all. God bless you. God2man.

nicely written
Women in this topic are portrayed as crazies that need to be disciplined. Naggers just ask for it, right?
What you don't understand is that most women are not born naggers, they do not enjoy complaining and they like peace at home as much as men do.
But when they raise a topic of something they feel bad about, something they feel need to be changed and they are ignored (which is men's favourite way of "dealing" ith a problem) they start talking more, explaining more, asking for attention, wanting to be heard and understood. Then the hubby ignores them more, tells them to forget the whole issue, or calls a friend in the middle of conversation, or just walks out the door. She feels like her problems are nothing to him, that he doesn't care and she starts generalising (not a good thing), "you don't care about me", "you always turn your back to me when I talk to you" and so on, he gets mad and start abusing her verbally or tells her to shut up or push any buttons he knows wil hurt. And a whole circle of abuse starts, Cosider LISTENING to your wife once in a while. Tell her you understand her (which doesn't equal agree with her), calmly presnt your point of view, tell her you love her and you don't want her to feel bad about anything. It doesn't mean she "won" (as I know is a priority issue for you) or that you lost your pride. You just heard her out and sympatised with her. In most cases (if not too much grunge has been accumulated and the woman is sane) she will retreat satisfied,
Why do you think we spend so much time talking with our girl friends? All we need is to be understood and heard, not advised, corrected and trained.

Remain calm and ignore her/him, when he or she is done raving and ranting sit her/him down and then iron out the issues with love and wisdom.

@Op, Silence

OOmpa:
nicely written
Women in this topic are portrayed as crazies that need to be disciplined. Naggers just ask for it, right?
What you don't understand is that most women are not born naggers, they do not enjoy complaining and they like peace at home as much as men do.
But when they raise a topic of something they feel bad about, something they feel need to be changed and they are ignored (which is men's favourite way of "dealing" ith a problem) they start talking more, explaining more, asking for attention, wanting to be heard and understood. Then the hubby ignores them more, tells them to forget the whole issue, or calls a friend in the middle of conversation, or just walks out the door. She feels like her problems are nothing to him, that he doesn't care and she starts generalising (not a good thing), "you don't care about me", "you always turn your back to me when I talk to you" and so on, he gets mad and start abusing her verbally or tells her to shut up or push any buttons he knows wil hurt. And a whole circle of abuse starts, Cosider LISTENING to your wife once in a while. Tell her you understand her (which doesn't equal agree with her), calmly presnt your point of view, tell her you love her and you don't want her to feel bad about anything. It doesn't mean she "won" (as I know is a priority issue for you) or that you lost your pride. You just heard her out and sympatised with her. In most cases (if not too much grunge has been accumulated and the woman is sane) she will retreat satisfied,
Why do you think we spend so much time talking with our girl friends? All we need is to be understood and heard, not advised, corrected and trained.

True talk.

The best way I handle issues like this is to put my lady in my shoes by simply asking her the question "How would you feel if I talk to you in that manner?" Or just paint a picture of an event, make her understand you can act in such manner so why is she acting as such to you. 90% of every human relationship is based on emotions, this works for me in almost all cases but there has been a time when I had to shout my girl down. She calmed down as I never shouted at her my whole life.

Another strategy is the humor strategy, you turn things around but joking around when she is nagging. Don't take her nagging seriously, just understand she is just being a woman, smile at her, Just tell her she would grow old quickly if she continues that way, make i funny, it workx for me

leave d house 4 her

@ Topic,

I will add one or two cents here.

I addition to all said, there is a solution I refer to as 'Taking the fire out'.  I want to believe beyond the nagging and all the drama is a real issue taking the partner to the edge.  Find out what the issue is and correct it or at least initiate the actions to correct it.  They say there is no smoke without fire!  Take the fire out and the smoke dies a natural death!

I don't want to think someone just wakes up to fabricate new ways of nagging endlessly!  Something, somewhere must be irritating to the spouse.  Perhaps, she has complained about it once and nothing was done.  Maybe she can bear it for a while until it seems you are not listening to her.  Then the smoke goes higher.

Something every spouse should learn to do is to look for the best in each other.  Naturally, I don't want to be reminded of something I am already aware of.  So the onus is on me to take action about the complaint and get it out of the way, so my wife wouldn't find anything to nag about.

BRB

Analytical:
@ Topic,

I will add one or two cents here.

I addition to all said, there is a solution I refer to as 'Taking the fire out'.  I want to believe beyond the nagging and all the drama is a real issue taking the partner to the edge.  Find out what the issue is and correct it or at least initiate the actions to correct it.  They say there is no smoke without fire!  Take the fire out and the smoke dies a natural death!

very nicely said, atleast it will work in most cases, unless the wife is a professional nagger

M M M:
leave d house 4 her

you want to train her like a dog, you will have a dog in your house

bizmogul:
The best way I handle issues like this is to put my lady in my shoes by simply asking her the question "How would you feel if I talk to you in that manner?"

exactly, and even a better way is to put yourself in HER shoes -would you like the bahaviour she complains about if she did it to you?

bizmogul:
Another strategy is the humor strategy, you turn things around but joking around when she is nagging. Don't take her nagging seriously, just understand she is just being a woman, smile at her, Just tell her she would grow old quickly if she continues that way, make i funny, it workx for me

that's my favourite -works 100% of the times!!!

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No offence meant, but I suggest that you people take your family issues off NL and settle privately behind closed doors. These are real people that you are talking about here. Maybe you can ask the mods to remove both yours and skyones posts.

Odunnu: Stop exagerrating jor. Only a mad woman will act like this.

You think that Richvkunt has an exaggerated story line? I beg to disagree. I have been with such a woman. A perfect scenario is what he just posted. She forces you to react.

^^
Most of them are kjds with no experience in life except for the internet.

Richvkunt: ^^
Most of them are kjds with no experience in life except for the internet.

True talk.