This is a real life experience of a young lady (who for personal reasons have decided to remain anonymous) but for the purpose of this publication, we'll call her Rita.

Rita is a Nigerian girl, and like any typical local family setting, she grew up in a very hostile home environment. Because of how they were all treating each other in her family, it left a lot of bad energy, built up so much complicated interpersonal relationship with other people that she would often come across.

Rita's Narrating........

I grew up in a family of 8, it's a home like war zone - fights and quarrels was like a basic routine for everyone, this has to happen at least two to three days each week. My family had nothing like love spelt in us, we were either found fighting each other or having hot arguments amongst ourselves over very little mistakes that could have been settled amicably among us.

We all had scars on our bodies as a result of the physical fights we often have. I still have the scar from the bite my elder sister bit me on my right hand during a fight we had in our late teens.

The scar was so obvious that anyone who saw it would quickly assume I was bitten by a so angry person or a person who has a vile temper and it happens to be true. We all had this vile and ruthless behaviour towards each other but there also were moments when we find comfort and had fun with each other. But, those moments were rare, because the anticipation of another battle or the consciousness of a possible misunderstanding that could happen during the course of our fun moment was always somewhere ringing in my mind.

Growing up in such tough & toxic atmosphere affected the way I related with other people, it had affected my openness towards others. I got to realize that I became so authoritative, rude, defensive and hostile towards my friends after a short period of getting to know them and as a result of this attitude of mine, I lost so many friends.

This kept happening and I kept losing so many good people & friends, I will always have a nice beginning with them and along the line, the aura of our friendship becomes bad due to my dark beginnings in life. Sincerely, on my own end I didn’t like the way I keep losing friends and not having to keep friends for a long time. Often times, I tend to feel unhappy with myself for treating them badly and for that period I couldn’t help myself.

I had my breakthrough from this enemy separating me from lots of good people when I started chasing after growth and developing myself personally. In my journey of personal development, I got to understand that my character has a huge role to play in dealing with anyone and that striving to maintain a healthy relationship with people could aid my growth and also give me room to great platforms.

So, I decided to intentionally become nice to people and build up this love of God already in me. I refused to allow the damage of my early life and my bad family experiences keep controlling my future or my relationships.

I decided it wouldn't have any hold on me again. So, what I did to repair this damage was to begin with my family members, little by little I will deliberately show them some acts of kindness and love, amazingly they reciprocated those acts of mine, it was really amazing how they also wanted to be shown love, feel loved and reciprocate it too, but the foundation wasn't there from the onset, which caused all the problems we all had.

I also chose to build my spirituality, I tried to train my conscience on the best way to treat people, how to speak, what to say and how to act towards everyone. Most times, I will have to check if what I am going to say or do to them will be cool by me If I had been the one spoken to. As I began this journey, I realized that I was becoming better each day in my relation with people. My relationship with my friends started becoming better than before and I can boldly count some few friends I have a good relationship with right now.

In all honesty, I feel the goodness I now radiate would have been immeasurable if my family had set the standards from the beginning, nonetheless, I am still grateful for where I am today, I am unbroken now, although still fixing my life, I believe it's a lifetime process. But it is a life that I enjoy living.

I'd like to keep sharing my love towards every individual that I come across every day of my life that I have this breath in me.

This story was first published on www.maratimes.com.ng

ICTNEWS:

We all had scars on our bodies as a result of the physical fights we often have. I still have the scar from the bite my elder sister bit me on my right hand during a fight we had in our late teens.

The scar was so obvious that anyone who saw it would quickly assume I was bitten by a so angry person or a person who has a vile temper and it happens to be true. We all had this vile and ruthless behaviour towards each other but there also were moments when we find comfort and had fun with each other. But, those moments were rare, because the anticipation of another battle or the consciousness of a possible misunderstanding that could happen during the course of our fun moment was always somewhere ringing in my mind.

Na lion cage this one be..