Shhhh...🤫🤫🤫

sniperr007:


That's a Porsche area

When you love someone, you'd do anything to make the person happy.. It has nothing to do with culture or feminism.

OBTOREPA:

It simply means you obtained some maximum home trainings. How many of these ladies even in nairaland knows there culture, so for you to do so means a plus for any potential husband. Because I know that you are been taught other things that could make you an outstanding wife except you choose not to because of this there so called feminism.

id4sho:
Culture varies, shameless in-laws in collaboration with their olosho daughter will do otherwise

Introduction and bride price paying is btw two families and unwanted guest abi aliens ain't suppose to be there. But some ladies will invite all here friends, mother in-law to be will invite all her friends, neighbors and church groups so that groom will foot the bills

As a guyman, ask how the woman culture is and how things are done. Be armed with that, engage the father in gist and he will tell you things. Some daughters and mothers are jezebels.


Men, you need your stone heads during that period. Don't entertain any form of westernization


OR

Get her pregnant and bye pass all this headaches

😂 😂 😂 That's all

Jennyclay:
The man is expected to send the lady money to take care of the food & drinks and every other expenses before his people arrive.

Biko, you broke men should stay away from marriage & relationship if you don't have money!!

your own no dey pass broke men..its just a question,tribe and cultures differs and the OP needs clarity,in my tribe you send money to them to arrange before you come.it might be different in another tribe,abi do you know the process of all the tribes in Nigeria,dey calm down sometimes.

Fahvvy:
Should this even be a question? ...

Like I would come to visit you and I will send money so you can entertain me, how?

Did I come for a visit, abi I came for a show that I have to pay for? ...

Abeg o...
If the people I'm going to visit cannot entertain me, then it's fine, I'll take it to mean that that's how they treat their guest or that they're broke and/or stingy ...

Entirely depends on the tribe

id4sho:
Culture varies, shameless in-laws in collaboration with their olosho daughter will do otherwise

Introduction and bride price paying is btw two families and unwanted guest abi aliens ain't suppose to be there. But some ladies will invite all here friends, mother in-law to be will invite all her friends, neighbors and church groups so that groom will foot the bills

As a guyman, ask how the woman culture is and how things are done. Be armed with that, engage the father in gist and he will tell you things. Some daughters and mothers are jezebels.


Men, you need your stone heads during that period. Don't entertain any form of westernization


OR

Get her pregnant and bye pass all this headaches

Some tribe will triple your bill if you impregnate their daughter before doing the needful

GboyegaD:
Any woman that ask a man to pay for such isn't worthy to be married to. If her family can't take care of visitors with whatever they can afford, then she is a fraud and if the man goes ahead with the marriage, when she shows her true colors, she shouldn't be blamed.

What do you propose instead?
Remember this ah a century old tradition

If any family decides to boycot the regular traditional process, they are being overly nice otherwise it’s tradition

Eg in urhobo land the brides family is entertained by the groom ( good and drinks ).
Tho the bride list is very fair but it is what it is

BmAe:
i think you are wrong

wrong how? Which tribe are you from? In Nigeria, the groom is responsible for every kobo spent in a marriage process. The bride can help if she wants to but it's not obligatory. For Nigeria, na man dey marry woman, not the other way round.

Lovelydaisies:


You can keep your mouth shut, if you have nothing else to do with it. We are talking about tradition. If you feel pained, stay celibate.

When your sister(s) want(s) to marry, that is if you have got any, they can handle it with their own money or you can handle it for all their suitors.

What the tradition states is what we are discussing.

i have no issues with what you are saying but sometimes courtesy matters

BmAe:
i have no issues with what you are saying but sometimes courtesy matters

I tried to be cautious but why did you come at me the way you did? I never called you names.

If my answer was that I took care of the hosting, would your earlier message have changed? Or because I said otherwise, you said what you said.

tonididdy:


What do you propose instead?
Remember this ah a century old tradition

If any family decides to boycot the regular traditional process, they are being overly nice otherwise it’s tradition

Eg in urhobo land the brides family is entertained by the groom ( good and drinks ).
Tho the bride list is very fair but it is what it is

I guess I responded based on the SW tradition that I am familiar with. Thus, I would say my response may be biased in that direction. That said, my proposition is if the discussion on bride price will be held in the wife's family house, then they should provide for the guest. Worst is that they should tell the groom the maximum number they will be expecting from him and his family.

Samantha124:
In my culture it's the woman's family that will pay for the food and the drinks during an introduction.

Same thing applies during the bride price negotiations and the wedding.. Because we do two weddings where I'm from.. one on Saturday which will happen at the bride's parents' place and the other on Sunday which will happen at the groom's parents' house.

Each families pay for their own food and drinks.

what culture is this please?

Enice:
wrong how? Which tribe are you from? In Nigeria, the groom is responsible for every kobo spent in a marriage process. The bride can help if she wants to but it's not obligatory. For Nigeria, na man dey marry woman, not the other way round.

i won't send anything, if her dad can't just arrange rice and stew which won't cost more than 15k for my 5 relative then her parents are stingy....a stranger is coming to your house, besides he is not even coming empty handed o.. You people should stop saying dirty things... Some family cry for food.... My cousin sister's marriage, her dad is just a palm wine tapper but he still cough out money to cook for his inlaws when he heard they were coming from lagos to the village with joy

Lovelydaisies:


I tried to be cautious but why did you come at me the way you did? I never called you names.

If my answer was that I took care of the hosting, would your earlier message have changed? Or because I said otherwise, you said what you said.

you might be right just that actually some family are welcoming with food why some are not.

Sepedi.

WantsandMore:
what culture is this please?

Samantha124:
When you love someone, you'd do anything to make the person happy.. It has nothing to do with culture or feminism.

Marriage is a different ball game altogether.

CalabarPikin:
The one I witnessed in my house, my parents took care of everything.

But this practice of so called marriage rite in Africa truly need to stop, except we'll trash the one we borrowed (white wedding)

Bro, I know a guy who is still paying for the loan he collected to marry even after the marriage has ended long ago.....wtf

I went to a friend's wedding yesterday, while dressing the groom and getting ready for the program to start, a young man walked in to see the guy, baba said he was there to collect 15k for village youth footballers.....while I was still watching the whole thing, I was made to understand the girl in question is not even from that village, that they already made the payment to the youth of her village (maternal + paternal) totaling 30k. We just told guy to leave us before we vex.....cuz it was getting me angry already, baba said he was going to call other youths to come, we forget say na church wedding we come, I said your papa....follow bring your grandpa.....idiot...
Just marriage rites alone suck my friend dry like hell....

This money they keep tasking this guys is enough to help them start up a small business and build their family gradually, but Africa especially southern Nigeria say NO...
Even villagers that barely know how the child was raised the ginger for their cut.....it's damn annoying

Exactly.. My younger sister's wedding is coming up soon.
I told my dad that if I see any of those youth or old men that will come and talk nonsense or cause problem that I will arrest them all... These are people who doesn't know if we exist

It shows you come from a broke and entitled family.

Sane man must avoid you because you'll affect his family with abject poverty your family suffers from.

Get a job and be responsible, no man wants a liability again

Jennyclay:
The man is expected to send the lady money to take care of the food & drinks and every other expenses before his people arrive.

Biko, you broke men should stay away from marriage & relationship if you don't have money!!

livingstone2013:
You are lucky your wife's family contribute to their daughter's wedding with you? It's very rare in Igbo land.

When i wedded my wife, I gave them money for traditional, they added money too. I know do I troduction because myself and my wife dey leave the same area, we just do traditional straight. Introduction, if you give your babe family money for introduction, I swear the babe Family know get SHAME,( EXCEPT YIU KNOW SAY THEM DEY VERY VERY POOR) Don't forget when you going for Introduction, the babes family gives you date, they giving you date means they have prepared for your coming, introduction self, highest 10 numbers if the Grooms family, shy na that one the babe papa know fit run? Well powerty dey sha, but even if the Groom run the payment, the fact is, that is not the way it should be, the babes family takes care of there guest.

Then for traditional marriage, the Groom has there own guest, the bride has there own guest, First, the brides family takes care of the grooms family, that is there first priority, then what is left is, the brides guest and the grooms guest, now before the marriage the husband's prefers to give the prides family money to cater for food, because it's assume the husband's family are coming from a very place. Eg the bride is in Imo state, the groom and family are coming from Lagos, they can't cook and bring to the venue, so they give money to the brides family to cater for bride and grooms guest.


If you are doing a traditional marriage in Lagos, both bride and groom reside in Lagos, husband family go cook come while bride family go cook come, na there you go dey see say them go dey look face dey share food.

But the both of contention is, COMMON SENSE, WHEN YOU CINE TO MY HOUSE, ITS MY JOB TO FEED YOU AND NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.