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Makakween:
Good day nairalanders, I have been going through a lot for the past months but I know God is in control,my husband is always supporting his daughter from his previous marriage staying with us... now if she does anything bad he won't caution her at all or try to make sure she knows is wrong, instead he will start blaming me and other people who have nothing to do with what she did,he never accepts that she did it on her own will...and it has gotten totally extreme right now cos she feels nothing can be done to her, she would spoil my personal items and he would say she's just a child.

No matter anything you give this child she will never show it to me, she would hide outside and eat,if she gets sick her father would start shouting that it's me that isn't looking at his child properly and he would be blaming my neighbors cursing and swearing, now cos I have been the one buying my baby items since he's always complaining he doesn't have money,he has made it contemporary that I buy certain things for the house or forget about it.

Sometimes I get shocked when I see some married women talking about clothes issues with their husbands on the phone and they seldom add that to their feeding upkeep,but mine would never accept it's all from me and he would never accept it too,if I talk about what she does it causes issues,if I don't talk I am guilty right now he's praying for people to die over her issue,I just tire...I am not really financially bouyant on my own and saving is another thing entirely, how do I make myself independent and able to take care of myself,i wish to learn a lot to pass off,so all these can be in the past for me,as if monitoring my calls isn't enough...And the worst part is if you tell him to say what actually happened he would say I'm confused and he knows better than me.

I will stop here now, although they are alot of things I want to say but I will rather not say, please give your comments I really appreciate it,it helps a lot and if you feel you can also support me financially I would really appreciate as well...and if it's small scale business idea I don't mind as well,as long as it would relieve my grief. God bless you all.
Olabrinks.
Frozen70.
Lalasticlala.

Yours is just a pity story
Have you reached out to your family for them to know that you are in a tight corner or you are keeping your situation away from them

Let's start from there pls

You never ready to hustle and help yourself.if you re ready,you go go fyne person whine borrow money.

Go outside into the street and look for hustles your mate are doing,then delve into it.
Food business is lucrative,mama you don necessarily needs to owned a shop,look for empty space,pay a token and cook your food ontop table for night and sell.

Keep your pride or shame aside,shame nor dey help anybody,stay focus on your hustling and everywhere go stew.

It irks me when I see married women becoming liabilities on their husbands.when you as a wife has something doing that brings money and takes you out from the house,your husband sef go fear to talk to you.

Before you accuse me of trying to break your heavenly marriage,nne I m married too,but as a veteran in the game,when a woman starts making money ,it stops see finish and over familiarity in marriage.

And pls try focus on your kids,do not joke with them at all,I do not joke with mine one bit.my husband doesn't necessarily has to give me money before I eat .

Because I don use my blessed hands construct my own table.

How long have you been married to him?
Is the mother of his daughter actively in the child's life?
Was she living with her father before you got married to him?

As for being economically engaged, ahnie has shown you the path to follow.

U don't need any financial help now, cos if u are given, u will still use everything for the house just to please your husband.

Weren't you aware of the relationship he had with his daughter before you married him

Makakween:

My husband and I got married by recommendations from my pastor,

na here the problem start

ahnie:
You never ready to hustle and help yourself.if you re ready,you go go fyne person whine borrow money.

Go outside into the street and look for hustles your mate are doing,then delve into it.
Food business is lucrative,mama you don necessarily needs to owned a shop,look for empty space,pay a token and cook your food ontop table for night and sell.

Keep your pride or shame aside,shame nor dey help anybody,stay focus on your hustling and everywhere go stew.

It irks me when I see married women becoming liabilities on their husbands.when you as a wife has something doing that brings money and takes you out from the house,your husband sef go fear to talk to you.

Before you accuse me of trying to break your heavenly marriage,nne I m married too,but as a veteran in the game,when a woman starts making money ,it stops see finish and over familiarity in marriage.

And pls try focus on your kids,do not joke with them at all,I do not joke with mine one bit.my husband doesn't necessarily has to give me money before I eat .

Because I don use my blessed hands construct my own table.

You are absolutely right thank you ma.

Foodqueen:
U don't need any financial help now, cos if u are given, u will still use everything for the house just to please your husband.

Weren't you aware of the relationship he had with his daughter before you married him

No I won't,at this junction I can't keep going back to square one and running around again,I have really stopped doing it except when it's my personal things so right now I need something so that I won't come back for more... please if you want to help me don't hesitate to.
No I wasn't aware of the relationship then cos she was never with him then.

Lemmi share you some small tip.
My dear,you see that food business pls kindly look into it.

Look for a small junction that's a flash point,stay there in the evening,be consistent always and I bet you within 6 months make I know why your level nor go change considerably.

The lady I buy food from most nights,makes
as a elfmore than 150k per night,her 3 kids and husband has even joined her because of the influx of customers,the least of her food goes for 1500 naira.

But pls endeavor to have good altitude towards your customers,be nice,be humble,and above all respect your self as a married woman.

Pls think about it.

Mindlog:
How long have you been married to him?
Is the mother of his daughter actively in the child's life?
Was she living with her father before you got married to him?

As for being economically engaged, ahnie has shown you the path to follow.

No she wasn't living with him, the worst part is the mother isn't involved in the child life, but she communicates with my husband, funny enough I always try to reach out to her to atleast talk to her daughter but she never acknowledges this...So I had to maintain myself.

frozen70:


Yours is just a pity story
Have you reached out to your family for them to know that you are in a tight corner or you are keeping your situation away from them

Let's start from there pls

If my family was willing to help me before I would never have gotten married or nobody would have even rendered me this way.

Makakween:
No she wasn't living with him, the worst part is the mother isn't involved in the child life, but she communicates with my husband, funny enough I always try to reach out to her to atleast talk to her daughter but she never acknowledges this...So I had to maintain myself.

Who was the child staying with before she came to live with both of you?

Makakween:
If my family was willing to help me before I would never have gotten married or nobody would have even rendered me this way.

I think there more to what is happening to you

Helping you is not a rocket science, when I know that you are not an orphan

Your family doesn't want to help
Your spouse doesn't want to help

It's strange that I am still trying to understand exactly why you

frozen70:


I think there more to what is happening to you

Helping you is not a rocket science, when I know that you are not an orphan

Your family doesn't want to help
Your spouse doesn't want to help

It's strange that I am still trying to understand exactly why you

My dad family were just making promises upon promises after his demise, nothing came forth leaving us to fend for ourselves,I never got the privilege of learning a trade cos of momsy health while my momsy side only wanted us to work for them telling us we would never be greater than their kids and enslaving us theirs was worse. I have siblings but they are still struggling as well,and the others are my junior...My dad's cash was collected by his family leaving us with nothing to hold onto, it's just God oh.

Mindlog:


Who was the child staying with before she came to live with both of you?

Her aunt.

Makakween:
Her aunt.

From her mother to her aunt, then to her father who is now living with his wife.....that kid has been tossed around and her behavioural disorder being enabled!

The young child is struggling with her own issues, you are struggling with yours and your husband is also struggling with his own......so the dysfunctionality in the family is not odd.

Makakween:
My dad family were just making promises upon promises after his demise, nothing came forth leaving us to fend for ourselves,I never got the privilege of learning a trade cos of momsy health while my momsy side only wanted us to work for them telling us we would never be greater than their kids and enslaving us theirs was worse. I have siblings but they are still struggling as well,and the others are my junior...My dad's cash was collected by his family leaving us with nothing to hold onto, it's just God oh.

What a pathetic situation
No wonder they hurriedly made an arrangy marriage

ahnie:
You never ready to hustle and help yourself.if you re ready,you go go fyne person whine borrow money.

Go outside into the street and look for hustles your mate are doing,then delve into it.
Food business is lucrative,mama you don necessarily needs to owned a shop,look for empty space,pay a token and cook your food ontop table for night and sell.

Keep your pride or shame aside,shame nor dey help anybody,stay focus on your hustling and everywhere go stew.

It irks me when I see married women becoming liabilities on their husbands.when you as a wife has something doing that brings money and takes you out from the house,your husband sef go fear to talk to you.

Before you accuse me of trying to break your heavenly marriage,nne I m married too,but as a veteran in the game,when a woman starts making money ,it stops see finish and over familiarity in marriage.

And pls try focus on your kids,do not joke with them at all,I do not joke with mine one bit.my husband doesn't necessarily has to give me money before I eat .

Because I don use my blessed hands construct my own table.

Good advice.

MumEmdy:


Good advice.

That's the raw truth I told her,most married women here,their husbands doesn't give them faden,we use our brains to fig out a way to help ourselves,for the sakes of our kids.

And above all,it's good for a woman to have something doing,it eases stress from the man, because he also is dealing with his issues.

There re lots of hustles to indulge in,that brings in money daily.shr just has to potopoto her eyes in other to achieve financial independence or na her kids go suffer.

ahnie:

That's the raw truth I told her,most married women here,their husbands doesn't give them faden,we use our brains to fig out a way to help ourselves,for the sakes of our kids.

And above all,it's good for a woman to have something doing,it eases stress from the man, because he also is dealing with his issues.

There re lots of hustles to indulge in,that brings in money daily.shr just has to potopoto her eyes in other to achieve financial independence or na her kids go suffer.

That's just it, you've said it all!!

Mindlog:


From her mother to her aunt, then to her father who is now living with his wife.....that kid has been tossed around and her behavioural disorder being enabled!

The young child is struggling with her own issues, you are struggling with yours and your husband is also struggling with his own......so the dysfunctionality in the family is not odd.

Hmmm 🤔