NoToPile:


My point is even with an informed choice nothing is guaranteed, I personally feel marrying early is good but it still doesnt guarantee anything on this same matter.



The OP is biased (it's all over his write up) for whatever reason probably due to experiences in his line of work and well he is entitled to his bias, his way of sending his message makes me wonder.

Everyone has a bias. Do you have answers ?

ahnie:
Nonsense write ups

Very very nonsense, nothing to add

Dimaya:
You can ignore reality.

But please don't leave young men astray.

You have a valid point which is also factual.but its not always the norm.just leave a womans age and try to find out the number of abortions she have done in the past. a lady who is 45 can still give birth easily provided she have not damaged her womb through abortions. it does not matter if shes 20yrs.the number of abortion that many girls have done would shock even the devil.

Dimaya:


I am not talking to women. I am talking to young men who want to have children and want to avoid reproductive issues and expensive fertility treatments.

If you had a brother who had to choose between an older woman with IVF treatment and a 23 year old with natural conception, which would you advise?

Women are free to choose what to do with their bodies. But young men need to be made aware of the reality of the female reproductive window, so they can factor that information into decision-making when selecting a wife, particularly if they want children.

I am not speaking in hypothetical situations. Right now, I have four male friends in their
Forties who have spent a combined 100milliom on fertility treatments. It's all they lament about when we talk. They all bought into the social media bs on age gaps and married women in their mid-thirties. Now, after almost 8 years of marriage and millions in healthcare bills, one of them impregnated a 24 year old without his wife's knowledge. He wishes he had just married a much younger woman instead of marrying his wife in her mid-thirties. And he was advised then, but felt it wasn't so much of a big deal.

So armed with that information, why would anyone advise any man to get with a woman whose fertility window is almost over? Why?

Men don't talk about this issues because it's frowned upon and they are shamed if they complain.

This is what my bros is suffering. He married one 34 year old girl like that wey dey do phd and for almost 4 years, no child. Last year, when he got tired for the waiting, na so e quick give one corper belle. Their traditional marriage is next week. The old wife is complaining but the whole family is behind the new girl.

if you tell them, if dem no hear... na their palaver be that....

Mindlog:


I strongly believe some Nigerian/African men are your low hanging fruits because you can't repeat this crap before a Caucasian audience and you wouldn't end up looking so f.o.o.l.i.s.h!

Does the present Nigeria have an institutionalized health and social support system that would guarantee a lady of 25 years and below who is yet to gain financial stability that if she has children there are sure health care services, if the husband "throws her out of his house" or walks away from the marriage, leaving her and the children behind, what happens to her and the children?

You are too one directional and I will not to associate with your "professionalism" and your health issues communication, you certainly skipped some lectures in school!

bros, forget all dis ur engrish. better suffer neva nack you. I know wetin my family suffer for d hand of one sista like dat wey no fit born pikin for my bros come dey insult us say she no dey our level. all because say she dey lecture for poly.

any man wey want pikin no suppose marry all dis evening newspaper wey full town. If u no wetin women dey use their body do, u no go marry anyone wey don old....

[quote author=dawnomike post=122970984]I wonder oooo... In a country like Nigeria where the average age to graduate from university is 23[/
Hope d age u mentioned above is for private universities not public one.

Dimaya:


The original post is addressed to young men who are financially ready to start a family. That's why young men should not start families until they can support children.

If you had financial issues within your marriage, you can't automatically conclude it was because you were 24. You could have married a more financially stable man at 24 and would have avoided those same issues. You probably didn't have counsel on how to vet a man who could support a family. The solution is to teach younger women on what to look for in men who come to court them for marriage.


However, telling women to wait until 35 will not guarantee they'll find a financially stable man.

I’m not even talking about myself, I’m talking about in general. No matter the counsel, at 23 a woman doesn’t have the emotional maturity and stability to handle a home. It comes later in your late 20s. Like I said it’s only the grace of God that help some women and in the long run it always builds up resentment and bitterness. Nobody should rush into marriage for the sole reason of having kids on time. Children are not accessories or toys, it takes a lot to raise mentally stable and responsible children. A woman at 23/22 still wants to live her life, she just an advanced teenager.

Zigzagman:


bros, forget all dis ur engrish. better suffer neva nack you. I know wetin my family suffer for d hand of one sista like dat wey no fit born pikin for my bros come dey insult us say she no dey our level. all because say she dey lecture for poly.

any man wey want pikin no suppose marry all dis evening newspaper wey full town. If u no wetin women dey use their body do, u no go marry anyone wey don old....

even if she gives birth to 5 children your family will still insult her for something. People will always find a way to insult you, that is life. The people that are raising children will not tell you the stress and heartache it takes to raise those kids.. let everybody carry their cross. A 30 year old woman is not barren, life can happen to anyone. You find a woman that will ride with you till the end of time, she has fertility issues, what do you ? Children that will still grow up and leave you when you’re old. Some of you need to wake up.

Africans and breeding like rabbit.

Imagine the quality that makes a wife, ability to breed. Not your brain.
You wonder why you're the world Poverty Capital dormain!

Princessdainty:
Africans and breeding like rabbit.

Imagine the quality that makes a wife, ability to breed. Not your brain.
You wonder why you're the world Poverty Capital dormain!

When women make money, they typically don't share it with their husbands. If a woman can't bear children, then why would a man bind himself till death unto her, especially if he wants kids?

I'm asking questions o

Persephone1:
What did I just read🤦🤦

You read a post on Nairaland. Are you surprised? 🙄

Op, I have stated the same view times without number on this forum but people always respond emotionally to the matter. Women's fertility declines with age and that is the fact!

The worst is that some unscrupulous wives would connive with equally unscrupulous doctors and find a way to put the blame on the man. They'll accuse the man of having low sperm count while hiding the real problem from him.

They do that in a bid to prevent the man from dumping his wife or marrying another. I have seen many of such cases especially when the man is not literate.

olabrinks:
I’m not even talking about myself, I’m talking about in general. No matter the counsel, at 23 a woman doesn’t have the emotional maturity and stability to handle a home. It comes later in your late 20s. Like I said it’s only the grace of God that help some women and in the long run it always builds up resentment and bitterness. Nobody should rush into marriage for the sole reason of having kids on time. Children are not accessories or toys, it takes a lot to raise mentally stable and responsible children. A woman at 23/22 still wants to live her life, she just an advanced teenager.

This is not true! My mom got married at 15. By 30 she was already done with childbearing and if you see her today with my eldest sister, you'll think they're sisters.

Nature endowed women with everything they need to bear children and raise a family early enough. Mental maturity is relative. The fact that you're not matured even at 30 doesn't mean there aren't 18yo girls who're matured enough to raise a family.

Jman06:
This is not true! My mom got married at 15. By 30 she was already done with childbearing and if you see her today with my eldest sister, you'll think they're sisters.

Nature endowed women with everything they need to bear children and raise a family early enough. Mental maturity is relative. The fact that you're not matured even at 30 doesn't mean there aren't 18yo girls who're matured enough to raise a family.

Please tell them.

Let them know not everyone is buying into the madness of the west.

which kain stupid persin dey talk say e neva too late.

no be why plenty girls dey get problem with belle today

Jman06:
Op, I have stated the same view times without number on this forum but people always respond emotionally to the matter. Women's fertility declines with age and that is the fact!

The worst is that some unscrupulous wives would connive with equally unscrupulous doctors and find a way to put the blame on the man. They'll accuse the man of having low sperm count while hiding the real problem from him.

They do that in a bid to prevent the man from dumping his wife or marrying another. I have seen many of such cases especially when the man is not literate.

Our ancestors knew what they were doing when they insisted women get married in their late teens. Now we have immature twenty years olds who wait until they're eggs are spent before they get married

olabrinks:
I’m not even talking about myself, I’m talking about in general. No matter the counsel, at 23 a woman doesn’t have the emotional maturity and stability to handle a home. It comes later in your late 20s. Like I said it’s only the grace of God that help some women and in the long run it always builds up resentment and bitterness. Nobody should rush into marriage for the sole reason of having kids on time. Children are not accessories or toys, it takes a lot to raise mentally stable and responsible children. A woman at 23/22 still wants to live her life, she just an advanced teenager.

dis one na bad advice. 23 year old girl na advanced teenager.

madam, stop misleading these girls.

Werey don't be 'some'

dawnomike:
I wonder oooo... In a country like Nigeria where the average age to graduate from university is 23

orjibra1:
Werey don't be 'some'

culf:
Make una dey stop all these things abeg, some marry at forty and immediately conceive and give birth while others marry at 20 and waited for years.
Stop putting unnecessary pressure on people abeg.

OP is not putting pressure on anybody. He is just telling you reality. The number of aunties in my church who got married in their mid-thirties and are now having difficulty bearing children is mind-boggling. I know at least 20. I am not exaggerating- twenty!

I wonder whether it is the food or water that we are drinking or something else that is causing it.

However, if you want to marry almost 40, go ahead. just dont discourage the young ones with advice not to

Jman06:
This is not true! My mom got married at 15. By 30 she was already done with childbearing and if you see her today with my eldest sister, you'll think they're sisters.

Nature endowed women with everything they need to bear children and raise a family early enough. Mental maturity is relative. The fact that you're not matured even at 30 doesn't mean there aren't 18yo girls who're matured enough to raise a family.

Your dad is a paedophile. Sleeping and impregnating a 15 yrz old girl. Apart from looking like sisters with her daughter, what else has your mum achieved?

Worriedwife:


Your dad is a paedophile. Sleeping and impregnating a 15 yrz old girl. Apart from looking like sisters with her daughter, what else has your mum achieved?

You'd be surprised his mom has learnt a lot. She has learnt to manage a home, raise responsible children. dont shame women for making responsible choices.

Up till 1960, most people died before age of 40. It wasn't unusual to be a grandfather at the age of 35-40.

Dimaya:


You'd be surprised his mom has learnt a lot. She has learnt to manage a home, raise responsible children. dont shame women for making responsible choices.

Up till 1960, most people died before age of 40. It wasn't unusual to be a grandfather at the age of 35-40.

People didn't die at 40. They lived longer. No difference between his father and those randy alhajis in northern nigeria.

Worriedwife:


Your dad is a paedophile. Sleeping and impregnating a 15 yrz old girl. Apart from looking like sisters with her daughter, what else has your mum achieved?

That was what obtained during their time. Most girls married at that age.

She has been able to train ALL her children upto university level and I don't mean just anyhow kind of training o rather she trained professionals comprising of two doctors, three engineers and my humble self a Pharmacist. And as a matter of fact, she's still very healthy and enjoying the fruits of her labour right now. Same cannot be said of your own mother who probably married in her 30s.

Jman06:
That was what obtained during their time. Most girls married at that age.

She has been able to train ALL her children upto university level and I don't mean just anyhow kind of training o rather she trained professionals comprising of two doctors, three engineers and my humble self a Pharmacist. And as a matter of fact, she's still very healthy and enjoying the fruits of her labour right now. Same cannot be said of your own mother who probably married in her 30s.

At least my dad didn't leave my mother to train ALL her kids alone after impregnating her at 15.

Worriedwife:


At least my dad didn't leave my mother to train ALL her kids alone after impregnating her at 15.

This is rude

Dimaya:


You'd be surprised his mom has learnt a lot. She has learnt to manage a home, raise responsible children. dont shame women for making responsible choices.

Up till 1960, most people died before age of 40. It wasn't unusual to be a grandfather at the age of 35-40.

true talk