Surat al-An’am 6:151
Allah commands us not even to say “Uff!” to our parents, which is a very minor word of annoyance. Anything worse than that is obviously prohibited. Our respect for our parents should be impeccable in every circumstance, to the best of our ability.

https://www.siasat.com/honor-your-father-and-mother-islam-i-1549798/amp/

IkeIgboNile:
This is the first topic i have created since i joined this forum.
For a while now, my mind has been restless, i haven't spoken to my father since i left his house on January 5 2023. We had an argument and i left some days later. I wasn't angry when i left, i just wanted to give him space and find my own way as a man. Though I'm his first born son and his exact replica but we are so different and share very different views.
Some days ago, i called him and was very angry at me and ended the call before i could say anything and he has refused to pick up my calls since then.
I really don't understand why he's angry at me or why he's not taking my calls but i have decided to stop calling him and let him be.

Please any positive advise,will be greatly appreciated.

I've not spoken to my mother in 11 months. She keeps calling and texting but I never acknowledge any of the efforts.

You have absolutely no need feeling any sense of guilt. You don't owe your parents anything. Only the conscience makes us assume their responsibilities at some point. But when they do wrong, it is very much appropriate to register displeasure.

There was a point in my life when there was total black-out between my dad and I for exactly 10years. I no struggle to survive for this life make any family member use me catch cruise.

You can not have misunderstanding with your dad... You insulted your dad. Don't worry your children will do same to you. If your father said something you are not happy with or did something you don't like, there are cool ways you can later approach him as a man and discuss it, instead you left the house and you are asking us for advice... Go back and apologize, if you want to leave the house you can leave the house in a more matured way...

I haven't spoken to mine in 4 yrs

Obiedun:
Many kids are on Nairaland.

So kids won't grow?

dawnomike:
Go and see him and apologize if you have to. Not because you are wrong, but because he is your father and he will not be worth you forever.
When you become a father, you'll understand better

The scripture had a balance submission thus, "Son honor your parents and father don't provoke your child to anger." Africa parents aren't ready to discuss the later. Once a child is above 18 years especially when they are becoming financially independent. It's best parent should create an open discussion where all matters can be resolved, rather than dishing out orders without first listening, in most case trying to relive their lives through their children without seeking their permission. An approach that is consistently failing with this present day generation. A reality that has come to stay! Sadly, at the time they would need the presence of their kids around them, that is when the kids will rather stay far away and love home from afar.

IkeIgboNile:

Please any positive advise,will be greatly appreciated.

Give him another chance by going to him to apologize, and then state why you took the decision to stay away. Perhaps that might send the right signal for necessary adjustment. But if otherwise, God help him.
I know someone who is experiencing similar thing for years now. He sends money & call once awhile but never visit. His father is now telling animate and none animate that his son is bad, yet when asked exactly what the boy did wrong. The tortoise story will start

Don’t worry by the time your Father write his will with your name absent u will know who brought u into d world. Be wise and make up with your Father.

Wow, this life !!!! Wen you tink you're the only one facing the exact problem. I wish I could drop voice note. I share a lot different views from my dad, imagine someone wey de reason say he didn't grow with his parents but with his uncle, so therefore we deserve to experience some of the kind of hardships he experienced "that kind reasoning" , same reasoning with my mum and more, and unluckily for me na me be the black sheep of the family and the first born. e for better say I de with my uncle's exactly na. and mind you , I'm never depending on their property, not as if dem get money Kwanu, just 2 tenant houses. I want to have more than that, Behind ones and more, I'm not lazy but just with a different view to life. Example, these ppl de feel say pesin supose find government job FOR WHAT NA? , So dat I'll be struggling in life even during retirement I'll never have made for example 900million and more in my life. The thing be say, me I have chosen not to respond or ever try to reason with them because we can never be on the same view, but make I hammer well well now,(legit o) u go see attachment, Wich I will gladly welcome but from afar or not too physically present because the chemistry no go completely de there. I stayed out of contact from my people some years ago that time, after 2 years dem begin call directly and indirectly stylishly begging me to reach house, Yours might reach out to you after 1year or less or more 🥴, u can make your decision anyhow from my long story.

chaloskyx:
bros leave the man go and make legitimate money lets see who would be reaching out its obvious he does not respect you cause you are broke

My point exactly!

Normally, man no suppose dey in good terms with im popsy, u dey f*ck up

what of if he dies tomorrow? OP, go and reconcile with your father when he is still alive. don't shed crocodile tears at his graveside....go and get your eternal parental blessing. Apologise, accept the bantings as sacrifice of blessings....na beg i dey beg o, no advise

Karleb:
Let him be for some more months. Give it more time, he's going to miss you and when you reach out try to tell him about your achievement however little they may be. Also apologize to him for your own part of the trouble, doesn't matter if he was the architect of the whole problem. Remember, he's still your dad.

Take this from someone who didn't speak to his dad for some 7 months or so.

I will advise against going to see him now especially if he doesn't have any illness. Trust me, he's going to say something that will provoke you and you will respond because you inherited his temper.

When you allow him miss you, he's going to mind his speech because he would have realized your importance in his life.

go talk to him face to face not call

NEVER STOP CALLING YOUR FATHER. GO BACK HOME AND HAVE A SIT DOWN. ASK YOURSELF THIS SIMPLE QUESTION... "what is the worse thing that could possibly happen if you apologise to your dad for intentional and unintentional hurt and you reconcile?".
Trust me - life is simple!!!!

Laurene:
mumu

Excuse me

IkeIgboNile:
This is the first topic i have created since i joined this forum.
For a while now, my mind has been restless, i haven't spoken to my father since i left his house on January 5 2023. We had an argument and i left some days later. I wasn't angry when i left, i just wanted to give him space and find my own way as a man. Though I'm his first born son and his exact replica but we are so different and share very different views.
Some days ago, i called him and was very angry at me and ended the call before i could say anything and he has refused to pick up my calls since then.
I really don't understand why he's angry at me or why he's not taking my calls but i have decided to stop calling him and let him be.

Please any positive advise,will be greatly appreciated.

There is need for much talk here

Prepare to go and visit him and make amends with him in the presence of your mum

That's all I can say

Haven't spoken to my old man in a long while (2years) quess its high time we make things right.

Hotwest:
My own Dad right now is annoying me! He trained me yeah and I have been getting jobs on my own but recently the Chinese I work with ask me to take a rest. I got a new place that pays well but they want me to be mobile to do airport pick up for new chinese client trooping into the country and others. I'm begging this man called my father to support me with one is his excess cars he is not using. He refused to this date and I haven't been able to get another job. He is worth over 800million but he wont even lend u 1million. He is very annoying! Im not entitled to his money like I sound but if you are in my shoes as a son u will understand my grievance . I can't wait to secure a deal and throw that money he is micing being stingy with on mevnnm as dash! I hate nonsense..d family is down at the moment because the blessed head is just keeping the glory to his lineage of himself not uplifting us below him

Those valuable items are still your but your father want you to see as you're not entitled to it now , get a little for start up go to him dad I need for with the little have with me

IkeIgboNile:
dawnomike
Go and see him and apologize if you have to. Not because you are wrong, but because he is your father and he will not be worth you forever.
When you become a father, you'll understand better

Thanks bro, i will definitely try and visit him soon.

How do you stay 5 months without talking to your own dad? Too bad. Go and see him. Apologize quickly. If they're not happy with you, you can't make a headway in life.

Faposky95:


Believe it or not....you carry his genes, so it's important. It's like reporting back to base to a senior officer, here, the most important...
No matter what, a father who saw you up regardless, is your best male friend. In some cases, shitz hit the fan through......

Since you're his replica, be the better and go make amends.. .
I wish mine lived to see me make a family...I miss him so

You will be a great Dad

Laurene:
So kids won't grow?

Except those who refuse to grow

Go meet your pman reason with him man to man...

Analysis your plan to him and I'm very sure he will understand too

Dskillful:
You can not have misunderstanding with your dad... You insulted your dad. Don't worry your children will do same to you. If your father said something you are not happy with or did something you don't like, there are cool ways you can later approach him as a man and discuss it, instead you left the house and you are asking us for advice... Go back and apologize, if you want to leave the house you can leave the house in a more matured way...

u people don’t just have sense, u assume the way it is with u n your parents is d way it is with everyone

The way a Nigerian will describe buhari is different from d way an American will describe biden

Both president different countries n characters

Both parents different homes n characters

So don’t think d way it is with u is the way it is with everyone

I have seen fathers who have issues with mother n vow the children will never make it so as to spite their mother

Will u still call that one a good father?

Many of u should endeavor to understand life from different perspective, it’s not d same with every family

zakkxx:
Don’t worry by the time your Father write his will with your name absent u will know who brought u into d world. Be wise and make up with your Father.

na only lazy pikin go reason dat way

Caseless:
How do you stay 5 months without talking to your own dad? Too bad. Go and see him. Apologize quickly. If they're not happy with you, you can't make a headway in life.

that’s a big lie

what about your mum?where is she?dont claim you have done nothing wrong bcs its a big lie!seek forgivenss through his mentor or very close friends!!

IkeIgboNile:
This is the first topic i have created since i joined this forum.
For a while now, my mind has been restless, i haven't spoken to my father since i left his house on January 5 2023. We had an argument and i left some days later. I wasn't angry when i left, i just wanted to give him space and find my own way as a man. Though I'm his first born son and his exact replica but we are so different and share very different views.
Some days ago, i called him and was very angry at me and ended the call before i could say anything and he has refused to pick up my calls since then.
I really don't understand why he's angry at me or why he's not taking my calls but i have decided to stop calling him and let him be.

Please any positive advise,will be greatly appreciated.

The day he dies you will slowly realise the stupidity and foolishness of your outlook on life.
Youre operating on the assumption that he can't die suddenly and unexpectedly that's why you will go months without speaking!؟ What is wrong with your head؟؟

Leave him be.

IkeIgboNile:
This is the first topic i have created since i joined this forum.
For a while now, my mind has been restless, i haven't spoken to my father since i left his house on January 5 2023. We had an argument and i left some days later. I wasn't angry when i left, i just wanted to give him space and find my own way as a man. Though I'm his first born son and his exact replica but we are so different and share very different views.
Some days ago, i called him and was very angry at me and ended the call before i could say anything and he has refused to pick up my calls since then.
I really don't understand why he's angry at me or why he's not taking my calls but i have decided to stop calling him and let him be.

Please any positive advise,will be greatly appreciated.

God forbid 🚫 sha but will this continue until one of you can no longer contact the other?
Firstly, your Father is your Father and not your brother or friend even though there could be these qualities in your father towards you. Give the honour and respect due to who he is to you make you no go suffer or die young.
Honour your father and mother the Bible says...