boxypane:

Yes I am. With two wonderful kids that only my wife can't handle.

Me with 3, and for over 21 years. Based on what this fellow said. His wife seems not to work. She is at home with one child. He goes to work, come back in the evening, she is even wearing the same pant and bra ie she has being lazing around. You then expect the man to do chores? Howww??.
I am not saying chores should not be done, I do it, even up till now my kids are grown. But in this man's unique case, his matter passes assisting his wife with house work.

being:

klass99, this is a recipe for disaster esp in marriage!! @ OP Take note two wrongs will crash the marriage in no time.. that's d direction 2 wrongs will take you.. esp with someone like her who did not grow up seeing a marriage work.

For how long would he continue to wait for her to grow up and know that sometime you need to break your rules for your loved one especially your partner

How old is your wife. It takes time for some women to embrace the realities of life. I am talking from experience.

At some point I was contemplating divorce.

Klass99:


Aww......you genuinely sound like a good man. It's sad you are not getting the love and attention you want or deserve.

Actions speak louder than words! Perhaps you need to change the narrative for her to get better results in your marriage.

Notice I didn't say talk to her or verbally communicate your concerns. Show her what you can do by your actions, show her that two can play this game she's playing. Don't buy into the narrative that two wrongs don't make a right.

From personal experience two wrongs do make a right - it is called giving people a dose of their own medicine, which usually pains them and they know not to mess with you again or they adjust their behaviour. But it's your call.

You actually made a lot of sense,this is the only way to reset her brain back to reality, ignore her too,life na give and take,there's too much pressure on men already to be facing this kind of emotional torture,when you learn not to force things you'll start enjoying life while you are still careful not to live a financial or sexual reckless life.the loss is ultimately on her,she should follow her mama footstep peacefully. Just 2years this is sad and I'm scared,this generation tire me .

CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.

My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.

We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).

I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.

I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!

I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.

I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.

Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.

She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.

I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.

This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.

I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.

With everything you have said. I didn't see where you said you asked her what's making her angry. And try to find out why. All you're concerned about is SEX and satisfaction. Weldone o because I know after she gives in to your sexual desire you will continue ignoring her without knowing why she's mad at you. You men do this alot.

have you ever considered that it maybe because she devotes extra time to your baby that makes her seem emotionally unattached? raising a child is stressful, you even said she slept in the sitting room with your child have you ever imagined that she probably dozed off while tending to your child. the best advice and best thing you can do is call her on the phone or send her a message requesting that the 2 of you have a talk and bare your mind to her let her know how you feel then she can also give you answers to the things that keep bugging you.

CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.

My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.

We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).

I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.

I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!

I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.

I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.

Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.

She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.

I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.

This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.

I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.

.

CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.

My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.

We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).

I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.

I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!

I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.

I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.

Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.

She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.

I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.

This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.

I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.

It's a normal thing in marriage to get fed up at early stage. But as for me I have mastered the art of massage as tool to turn my wife on when she declines. There's scarcely anyone who will turn down massage.

It looks like you have a baby. Common man! that woman seriously needs whole body massage (some pampering) almost everyday.

How I go about mine is, I start from my wife's temple, do some scalp massage, to the shoulder, devout some time on her limbs while deliberately brushing the side of her breast. She may want to remove your, still try to visit that area some more. Get her to lay chest down and work her back thoroughly, especially the waist region.
Finally, start from her toes, work her feet thoroughly. Trust me, when you're done with her feet she's 50-60% turned on.
Finally, massage her calves up to the thighs, while testing the mic with her b*mb*m. If she doesn't remove your hands, you're 70% there. Devote some time on that area, while trying to access her inner thigh, make some attempts to deliberately brush the honey pot.
Mind you, you'll have some hard*n while the massage is ongoing, always use every opportunity to touch her with the standing third leg.

Before you say Jack Robinson, you're in, digging for gold.

Just from a personal experience o. Been married for 7years+ now, and I must confess the s*x part was rough until I found a way around it.

CuriousMind2022:


Pocohantas, you're a very popular moniker here, so I know you very well. And I will take my time to respond to you. This is also my alternate moniker, which I created last year while my marriage was on the verge of collapsing.

You read my thread and I don't blame you for making the assumptions that you made.

March 22, 2022, is a day I will never forget in my life. On that fateful day, my wife and I had a fight and she pulled five kitchen knives on me, that she will kill me, kill herself and then call our parents to come take our baby. Unknowingly, to me, my wife whom I married had become filled with so much resentment for me. She literarily saw me as a filthy person, because of my bad habits then. I was consumed in lust and masturbation, I wake up in the mornings then and the first thing I do is to start surfing Instagram admiring all manner of women with big butts. Slowly, I became obsessed with soft porn (At the time I told myself I wasn't doing pornography because I don't watch pornstars have sex).
Thankfully, after I shared my ordeal here last year, I got to know that I was actually doing soft porn.

After the fight last year, I left my house to go live with my elder brother. I actually stayed there for about 3 weeks, before the issue was resolved and I returned back home. It took interventions from 2 of our pastors and my elder brother and his wife to resolve the issue. My wife is a sensitive person, and I didn't know she had hacked my phone and was seeing everything I was doing on the internet. She literarily knew the names of the handles, I loved visiting. This caused her to hate me so much! She didn't see the other good things I was doing. Well, I didn't really blame her for that.

After that terrible incident, I blamed myself for everything that happened. I still remember, how I wept in my elder brother's...I kept on calling my name and telling myself that see how I had allowed lust and pervasion to ruin my home. I was broken, and I cried to God to help me overcome those bad habits and restore my home. Thankfully, God help me. The first thing I had to do was to come out clean! I confessed to my pastors and my elder brother the real problem in my home.

As a Christian, I have come to know that the only way to be free from such secret and destructive sin as pornography and masturbation is by coming out publicly.

Aside from coming out publicly, I took some drastic steps. I deleted all my social media accounts (Instagram, Facebook, and even WhatsApp). I also did away with using and having a smartphone, I used torchlight for a very long time just to avoid stumbling on my triggers on the internet. Just to add, that it was also quite easy for me to overcome those bad habits of mine because I was not really an addict as my wife thought. I started masturbating when I was already a full-grown man, I loved looking at beautiful women and that was actually the part that I struggled with. But thankfully, God helped me and even now I can boldly share my story anywhere I was once trapped in the web of soft pornography, but God helped me to overcome it.

I really didn't owe you this explanation, but I saw the need to clear you on this that what you read in my thread last year, is an old me.

As I stated in my original post in this thread, I still believe my wife's background is what is chiefly affecting her. And she is not the type that listens to advice, if not she probably would have improved. I still remember the battles we had to fight both physically and spiritually before we could get married. Her family practically did not want her to get married.

Baba, You geh time dey shalaye; the more you shalaye, the more those Eve genders go dey manipulate you to make you the victim for what they don't even have any idea about... Anybody is fxxkin free to assume whatever they like - it's your life, not theirs man.

And as regards your wife, keep contacting her and keep records of each phonecalls either she picks or not and don't stop discharging your husband/ daddy's duty at home when the needs arise. In fact, I would advise that whatever antics your wife displays to dishonor or disrespect you, act as if it never happened - only a troubled mind dies before his time.


At your new station, consider it your freedom. Look for a responsible side chick that you're sure if she gets pregnant by mistake, e go still be win win situation for you. DONT discuss with her(side chick) your marriage but make it a duty to always tell about your beautiful daughter so she can grow fond of her incase your marriage with your wife didn't later work out and you can have the custody of your daughter with you.

This life is short man to be forcing things just to make it go our way - have fun.

☮️

That's how it it is at àn early stage in marriage.

@OP, I hardly post on this platform but to read, laugh and be amazed at people's perception of real-life issues.

Kindly note that comments with the highest likes does not mean it made sense, and the ones with fewer reaction does not mean they are senseless.

That said, have you spoken to your wife to know all that she had bottled up in her mind? Don't just be particular about your needs. I'm married and marriage is not all about receiving. Good that you gave her money, but do you meet her emotional and other needs?

As a practicing Christian which you claimed you are, I would request that you seek His face to know what to do if you truly trust God to help you.

If you depend on any of these carnal comments, you do so at your peril.

nedekid:

Me with 3, and for over 21 years. Based on what this fellow said. His wife seems not to work. She is at home with one child. He goes to work, come back in the evening, she is even wearing the same pant and bra ie she has being lazing around. You then expect the man to do chores? Howww??.
I am not saying chores should not be done, I do it, even up till now my kids are grown. But in this man's unique case, his matter passes assisting his wife with house work.

Well, different stokes for different folks. I do think a change of approach by him is required. Since he loves her so, sacrifices just have to be made to make things right. Ego! Thank God he has a good one, cannot be mismanaged at this time.

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***

@kobojunkie, Just compare the below contribution to your own which always seem biased. You are smart and intelligent but I don't really know why you are always like this.

Klass99:


Aww......you genuinely sound like a good man. It's sad you are not getting the love and attention you want or deserve.

Actions speak louder than words! Perhaps you need to change the narrative for her to get better results in your marriage.

Notice I didn't say talk to her or verbally communicate your concerns. Show her what you can do by your actions, show her that two can play this game she's playing. Don't buy into the narrative that two wrongs don't make a right.

From personal experience two wrongs do make a right - it is called giving people a dose of their own medicine, which usually pains them and they know not to mess with you again or they adjust their behaviour. But it's your call.

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***

You're a terrible human being. you should resign with Buhari. Love and Intimacy go 5&6
She no gives her husband food chop, you dey ask why him day complained.

JeffreyJunior:
Just 2years into your marriage, you guys are already having all these issues.

Why the heck did you marry who wasn't into you or will you swear you didn't see the warning signs?

Oga when the kitchen becomes too hot, a wise person knows the best choice is to leave.

Leave the marriage or get a sidechick mek everybody rest.

Actually, the first three years of marriage are usually the hardest part or period for a number of reasons.

DBestDoc:
Your wife told you she was upset, did you try to ask her why?

Was there any heart to heart convo to know the reason she’s been in such an unusual mood? Some issues can be solved with proper communication and hearty resolutions but if you think the first option to explore is contemplating divorce, then go ahead Mr.

I for one would also not have sex when I’m upset with my husband like an object meant for just sexual gratification.

I wish you both well.

Yeah! And she asked for money for upkeep. Lol. Upset about nothing. Upset that didn't prevent her from collecting.
Sexual gratification my yansh

RenegadeX:


Op ignore this simpish advice okay. Don’t have any heart to heart talk with any mofo . See I have dealt with women and I know them like the back of my palm. I repeat don’t have any heart to heart talk. Start giving her woto woto. An eye for eye. Sometimes this bitches do not respect you when you act Christlike or behave as a Godly man. They want to see crazy and you should enjoy showing crazy.

You need to harden your heart to a point were if a bitch threatens to leave you. You open the door and kick her ass out for making that threat. Kick her so had that she falls and scrapes her knee on the floor.

That money you are giving her stop giving her shishi. Don’t help her do anything. When you come home buy fast food and eat in her presence. Do your laundry yourself and make sure you go out and hangout with friends and post pictures of yourself having fun and arrange one of your guys girl to hold you in a romantic way.

When you come back don’t respond to her questions or naggings. Don’t make any advance sexually behave like she does not exist.

Either of two ;Dthings will happen. Either she will come to her senses or she too will not mind you. If she doesn’t mind you then I’m afraid someone is giving her back to back the way she wants it. She wants to tow her mothers lifestyle.

I repeat drop that gentleman that you are forming they don’t respect it. This bitches are like children once you don’t call their bluff they triple down on their bad behavior.

If she tries to abuse you verbally give am better slap for her left eye

You will be surprised how that once a week will change to thrice a week

I am just like you Mr op a very good man that don’t like cheating but if you take my calmness for weakness and want to be disrespectful. You go collect woto woto. Ready to go your papa house or that useless dick that she wants to cheat on me with. Let her go and have it fully. I no send your papa

Honestly. I really welcome this your advice.Sometimes you need to be like a boss not like all those indian actors not even only to your partner but to anyone that want to trespass.Like you,am cool guy that always want peace and be kind,but once I notice you want to take my gentleman for a mumu.u won’t wait a second to show u my jet li skills.

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***

Are you sure you read the post with a primary 4 pupil understanding at least or you're just plain stupid

CuriousMind2022:


Kobojunkie it is obvious you read but don't comprehend! I would have been perfectly fine if my wife is not much into sex but she makes up in other areas. Personally, I think I am quite an objective person. For example, if my wife shows little or no interest in sex, but she respects me, (she is mindful of how she treats and talks to me when she is upset), genuinely cares for me (whether we are in good terms or having a fight) and most especially supports me in prayers, I wouldn't complain. Having sex once in a week has been a problem for me (most men will consider this too little a time to have sexual intercourse with their wife), the major problem I have and I have always had is the lack of value and commitment she places on things that concern me and our marriage.

Don't engage kobo for your own sanity.

boxypane:

Well, different stokes for different folks. I do think a change of approach by him is required. Since he loves her so, sacrifices just have to be made to make things right. Ego! Thank God he has a good one, cannot be mismanaged at this time.

I feel you.
The marriage is too early for this though.
Truth of the matter is that you do not reward bad behavior of not it will increase. When a woman acts that way to her husband, first time, second time, the hubby keeps begging and appeasing her, she despises him more, looks at him as a simp, hate even builds up. If the fellow still love her, then he needs to man up, ignore her, practically abandon her as if she does not exist, move to his new base without communicating with her, just send her regular upkeep money as he has being doing. Infact he should get one or 2 hot chicks to hold body.
If the wife is still interested in the marriage, she will be the one looking for him, calling him after he ignores her for 1 month. And if she remains thesame, he should move on abeg.
Never sacrifice your happiness because of a woman. Never kill or die for any woman. Walai, hard working providing men are there, yet their women are fucking around with nitwits, how much more a man dies, the next month, another person is climbing her.

Op na your cross please carry am well

1stola:

If you had married a virgin, you won't be in this situation.
The moment girls have sexual experience with a man, she builds attachments with him... NOW IMAGINE A GIRL WITH MULTIPLE BODYCOUNT, HOW CAN THAT GIRL BE CAPABLE OF LOVING ANYONE BUT HERSELF...

.

This one off me ooo

For your own good as a man. If you wanna live long and enjoy Ur marriage and your wife. Your best bet if she's a virgin- this cancels too much marital problems. Marry who loves you even if you feel you don't love her. Forget those comedians who say women don't love men,it's not so. If you love her more than she does, u'll most likely regret. The most important thing is make sure she's also Ur kind, believes in what you believe in,it makes things easier. Remember, it costs man too much a sacrifice to marry, sorry I think as a business man, I don't like wasting my resources be it emotional or financial resources.

ChybuzzDD:


Your usual thread-derailing strategy didn't work here, as no one was ready to engage you.

That's great.

One day, we'll be able to find out if you're actually a bot or a virus that infected the platform .

I thought it was only me that noticed it

Thanks for the wonderful reply you gave to am

CuriousMind2022:


Pocohantas, you're a very popular moniker here, so I know you very well. And I will take my time to respond to you. This is also my alternate moniker, which I created last year while my marriage was on the verge of collapsing.

You read my thread and I don't blame you for making the assumptions that you made.

March 22, 2022, is a day I will never forget in my life. On that fateful day, my wife and I had a fight and she pulled five kitchen knives on me, that she will kill me, kill herself and then call our parents to come take our baby. Unknowingly, to me, my wife whom I married had become filled with so much resentment for me. She literarily saw me as a filthy person, because of my bad habits then. I was consumed in lust and masturbation, I wake up in the mornings then and the first thing I do is to start surfing Instagram admiring all manner of women with big butts. Slowly, I became obsessed with soft porn (At the time I told myself I wasn't doing pornography because I don't watch pornstars have sex).
Thankfully, after I shared my ordeal here last year, I got to know that I was actually doing soft porn.

After the fight last year, I left my house to go live with my elder brother. I actually stayed there for about 3 weeks, before the issue was resolved and I returned back home. It took interventions from 2 of our pastors and my elder brother and his wife to resolve the issue. My wife is a sensitive person, and I didn't know she had hacked my phone and was seeing everything I was doing on the internet. She literarily knew the names of the handles, I loved visiting. This caused her to hate me so much! She didn't see the other good things I was doing. Well, I didn't really blame her for that.

After that terrible incident, I blamed myself for everything that happened. I still remember, how I wept in my elder brother's...I kept on calling my name and telling myself that see how I had allowed lust and pervasion to ruin my home. I was broken, and I cried to God to help me overcome those bad habits and restore my home. Thankfully, God help me. The first thing I had to do was to come out clean! I confessed to my pastors and my elder brother the real problem in my home.

As a Christian, I have come to know that the only way to be free from such secret and destructive sin as pornography and masturbation is by coming out publicly.

Aside from coming out publicly, I took some drastic steps. I deleted all my social media accounts (Instagram, Facebook, and even WhatsApp). I also did away with using and having a smartphone, I used torchlight for a very long time just to avoid stumbling on my triggers on the internet. Just to add, that it was also quite easy for me to overcome those bad habits of mine because I was not really an addict as my wife thought. I started masturbating when I was already a full-grown man, I loved looking at beautiful women and that was actually the part that I struggled with. But thankfully, God helped me and even now I can boldly share my story anywhere I was once trapped in the web of soft pornography, but God helped me to overcome it.

I really didn't owe you this explanation, but I saw the need to clear you on this that what you read in my thread last year, is an old me.

As I stated in my original post in this thread, I still believe my wife's background is what is chiefly affecting her. And she is not the type that listens to advice, if not she probably would have improved. I still remember the battles we had to fight both physically and spiritually before we could get married. Her family practically did not want her to get married.

This is is the Crux of the matter now

You shi.t for church

Me I don't know the advice to give

But I remember in song cry Jay z track from blueprint album
he rapped "when a good girl is gone bad, she's gone forever"

It seems you induced the whole situation so I don't know what to tell you.

Bye

Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as all the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn***

Really, how does a man partly feel loved? It's by knacking and we want it consistently if not everyday, howbeit one needs to be considerate of ones wife.

However the case here is a wife showing neglect, and you don't seem to thinks that's a big issue?

Yusufisraelj:
■ Really, how does a man partly feel loved? It's by knacking and we want it consistently if not everyday, howbeit one needs to be considerate of ones wife. However the case here is a wife showing neglect, and you don't seem to thinks that's a big issue?

I believe the case here is instead of a husband who conveniently left the details of what led up to the current problems in his marriage all so he can get us to believe she is the evil witch. And, if we are to ask OP to bring his wife on to tell her side of the story, you might be shocked to learn that OP left out the main issue so he can paint for us a picture of how it is all his wife's fault.

Anyways, read up OP's other thread, as well as his other retorts to see that there is more to the story than what is contained in the main OP.

Kobojunkie:
I believe the case here is instead of a husband who conveniently left the details of what led up to the current problems in his marriage all so he can get us to believe she is the evil witch. And, if we are to ask OP to bring his wife on to tell her side of the story, you might be shocked to learn that OP left out the main issue so he can paint for us a picture of how it is all his wife's fault.

Anyways, read up OP's other thread, as well as his other retorts to see that there is more to the story than what is contained in the main OP.

I get your perspective, one shouldn't conclude yet.

Reminds me of this plateau killings by fulani's last week, on digging deeper I learnt some miscreants in mangu first attack the fulani's and reprisal by them (fulani's) was overwhelming. This has been going on for a while, tit for tat, even the state government came in to resolve the matter before the recent killings on both sides, non wants to back down, and of concern is that innocent people now pay the price for few people's misgivings. Well all I'm saying is that a pot can be calling kettle black.

I just believe issues should be resolved between couples to a fruitful end, and the matter of sex is very important to some men, again very important I must add. Make the wife do something abeg.

Yusufisraelj:
■ I get your perspective, one shouldn't conclude yet.

Reminds me of this plateau killings by fulani's last week, on digging deeper I learnt some miscreants in mangu first attack the fulani's and reprisal by them (fulani's) was overwhelming. This has been going on for a while, tit for tat, even the state government came in to resolve the matter before the recent killings on both sides, non wants to back down, and of concern is that innocent people now pay the price for few people's misgivings. Well all I'm saying is that a pot can be calling kettle black.

I just believe issues should be resolved between couples to a fruitful end, and the matter of sex is very important to some men, again very important I must add. Make the wife do something abeg.

Sex may be important but surely your partner's emotional wellbeing should rank much higher than that. Or is marriage simply about satisfying one partner's libido at the expense of the other's sanity?

We are talking here of two people who are not even in sync with each other. Or are you requesting the woman, for the sake of the man's libido, turn off her brain and lie limp in order for the man to do whatever he wants and be off? Does that sound like what you would want the woman to do?

TWoods:


You have a warped view of love. It is sacrifice… and part of that sacrifice includes not depriving your partner of your body, unless their are salient reasons why (schedule conflicts, illness etc.)… I have to give my wife credit. She’s a saint… she makes it a rule - never deny your partner sex even if she’s not in the mood. Let me go and give her a good gift… some men are really suffering.

Your wife is Caucasian, she grew up in a sane environment and kinda superior culture & I am sure you know she's not gonna weaponise "congress". ,Lol.

cococandy:
Send her a link to this thread. I believe she’s the one who needs counseling (based on the premise that what you said is 100% true). But she can’t change if everyone is talking to you instead of her. Her who needs to do the change

yes, CuriousMind2022, please send your wife a link to this thread so we can talk to her regarding your complaints.

lomprico:


You sef get issues.

She gave you green light all day wearing only pant n bra and you dey form christian. Na when she wan con sleep for night you wan disturb am. Of course she is angry u dint find her attractive enough to devour her.

Very naive complainant.

I will be upset too if I give you signs and you don't jump on me immediately. The woman will be like am I not good enough for him in the daylight?
Maybe only in the night when he will replace my face and body to those ladies he used to mastubate with afterall its dark.

He also rang not to ask after her and their child but their child only. Wife knew and decided not to respond.

Guy has already condemned the wife's mum cos she has kids from 2 men. Such a myopic fellow.