| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by jesmond3945: 8:13pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.
My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.
I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.
We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).
I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.
I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!
I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.
I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.
Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.
She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.
I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.
This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.
I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.
I want to ask why can't she join you? Is the baby making her always moody? Please, let her join you and you need some marriage counseling. |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by PeterObi4Presid: 8:13pm On May 24, 2023 |
Who cares once you are loved by God 1 Like |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by DMerciful(m): 8:15pm On May 24, 2023 |
Once you make your wife believe that divorce is out of the question from you end, you're screwed! Even if you won't divorce, don't make it obvious! Secondly, once your wife believes you will not cheat or have a sidechick, you're screwed. Even if you wont, do not make it obvious. Let her feel you can do it if you're pushed. Thirdly, why were you having sex once a week for a marriage of two years? Atleast 2-3 times per week. You spoilt her! Do not beg for sex but demand it, if she's not ready, quite the marriage. As far as men are concerned, regular sex is the most important thing in marriage. Finally, sit her down and let her know how important sex is to you and that you want it minimum twice per week or else you seek for divorce. Initiate sex whenever you want confidently, don't wait for her to initiate, they hardly do! Note that I'm happily married for over 12yrs. CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.
My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.
I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.
We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).
I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.
I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!
I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.
I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.
Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.
She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.
I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.
This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.
I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.
3 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by modelsms(m): 8:16pm On May 24, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn*** Is that the only thing you understood? |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by IgboSomalia: 8:16pm On May 24, 2023 |
A woman who knows she's the only woman in your life tends to misbehave. But by the time she knows that she has a competition and you have options, she will give herself sense..
You need 2 women in your life right now.
A domestic help to help your wife with house chores.
A side chic to relieve the pressure at home. 3 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by IgboSomalia: 8:16pm On May 24, 2023 |
modelsms:
Is that the only thing you understood? That one is a renowned imbe |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by obaidan: 8:17pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.
If this up here is 💯 accurate...oga u never see wife...u still dey play 2 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Countersam(m): 8:17pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.
My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.
I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.
We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).
I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.
I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!
I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.
I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.
Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.
She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.
I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.
This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.
I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.
I really pity you, for the fact that this is an actual marriage and not live in baby daddy/mama. I had almost similar experience I walked away from despite having a kid and I di t regret it, nothing like having peace in your home. 2 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by coputa(m): 8:18pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
Kobojunkie it is obvious you read but don't comprehend! I would have been perfectly fine if my wife is not much into sex but she makes up in other areas. Personally, I think I am quite an objective person. For example, if my wife shows little or no interest in sex, but she respects me, (she is mindful of how she treats and talks to me when she is upset), genuinely cares for me (whether we are in good terms or having a fight) and most especially supports me in prayers, I wouldn't complain. Having sex once in a week has been a problem for me (most men will consider this too little a time to have sexual intercourse with their wife), the major problem I have and I have always had is the lack of value and commitment she places on things that concern me and our marriage. Didn't she show some of these signs when you were dating. 1 Like |
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| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Goodplace: 8:18pm On May 24, 2023 |
You talk like you have psychological paralysis...isnt love making part of love? Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn*** 2 Likes |
|
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by stevups(m): 8:19pm On May 24, 2023 |
It's a stage you must pass through in marriage. Calm down. It has happened to me before. But take good care of yourself first. Buy good clothes, eat good food, mingle with friends. You concentrate too much on her. Use nice cream, bath with beautiful soap. Wear nice perfume. She will be jealous of you. Call her once in a week. Be care Free. Package yourself well. She still loves you, but you are getting shawa in her face. Reinvent yourself. 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by jesmond3945: 8:19pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
You're wrong sir. My wife was very much into me before our wedding. She literally made me marry her, because at some point I began to develop cold feet. She did everything to please me, showed me love and care, and pretended to be a good girl. I would not force, cajole or entice a woman into marrying me. This is why I am asking myself if I should continue in this marriage if truly she doesn't care about me anymore. I strongly believe marriage should be between two people who are genuinely interested in being together and if it is obvious she is tired of us being together, I would be the first to excuse myself from the marriage. I just don't want to make a hasty decision, so I will still wait and be sure I am not overthinking things. I think the baby is exhausting her. That's why you need her close to help her mentally unless you want her to cheat. Also, check her phone as well. |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by being(m): 8:19pm On May 24, 2023 |
Kindly keep quiet!!! There are several rich people in different areas of endeavours who are married and that for a long time!! Angelfrost:
Stay single, una no go hear!... I don't pity any of you!
If big and balling made men like Wizzy, Flavour, and Burna are still single with all their endless wealth, broke ass Negroes will be falling into unions all in the name of Love!
What a Pity!!! |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Igbokwechika101(m): 8:19pm On May 24, 2023 |
Brother Benard. you said your wife is upset.have you tried to asked her what is the problem.they might be something she is not getting.i sincerely understand.you just have to take it easy with her. |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by SonofGod231: 8:19pm On May 24, 2023 |
Exactly why I'd rather remain single with money in the bank...If I needed or wanted a loyal and loving partner,I will get a dog. 2 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by frank14011991(m): 8:19pm On May 24, 2023 |
That is the advantages of polygamy 1 Like |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Pzpropertylimit(m): 8:20pm On May 24, 2023 |
I can never have patience for a coward like that.
Oga , go out and enjoy ur life . This woman doesn't love u . It's sad . I am crying here for u . U are a good man but the devil has given u this trouble . 1 Like |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by BeboNGN: 8:20pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.
My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.
I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.
We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).
I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.
I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!
I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.
I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.
Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.
She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.
I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.
This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.
I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.
"A simp is a danger to himself, to his family, and to the society". Ghost of Bakhmuth This is a lesson to every single person out there. Before you marry do family background check. There is 99% certainty that what happens in the family will repeat itself. DONT BE TOO WOKE TO CONDEMN YOURSELF TO A LIFE OF ANGUISH, AND SADNESS. @OP I am very sure your wife looks exactly like her mother physically. The same problem which her mother faced maritally is the same problem your wife will face, except steps are taken urgently. |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by PROPEACE: 8:20pm On May 24, 2023 |
being:
klass99, this is a recipe for disaster esp in marriage!! @ OP Take note two wrongs will crash the marriage in no time.. that's d direction 2 wrongs will take you.. esp with someone like her who did not grow up seeing a marriage work. klass99 is absolutely right. If OP follows your counsel, well, he will save his marriage, at least for some time, the price he will pay is continuous suffering. He go endure tire! 2 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by 4ward4: 8:20pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.
My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.
I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.
We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).
I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.
I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!
I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.
I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.
Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.
She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.
I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.
This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.
I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.
Why did you still went ahead? It's just a matter of time and your fears will become,reality. 1 Like |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Veezy4u(m): 8:21pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.
My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.
I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.
We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).
I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.
I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!
I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.
I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.
Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.
She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.
I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.
This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.
I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.
sorry about what you're going through. Did you actually dated very well before? Base on what you said have you asked her what the problem is? It could be that she's not in full support of your movements regarding work. As for that nonchalant attitude on whether you arrived safe or not women have issues, if they are angry they can do n undo. As for your sex life, sex is not something to give as a favour, u shouldn't be deprived, it's not enough reason to quit your marriage. U can still work things out, there should be very good COMMUNICATION between u. As for d part u said they don't value marriage in their family, this is something to consider some things are there but we may feel it's normal we can handle it. Call/meet her sit down talk, understand yourselves, if it won't work, be happy |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by koyeni(m): 8:21pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.
My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.
I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.
We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).
I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.
I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!
I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.
I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.
Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.
She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.
I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.
This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.
I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.
Boss. The lord is your strength. Dont give up. I'm married too. My observation is that if you are caring, loyal and responsible. Most wives dont appreciate it. 2 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Octopusssy(f): 8:21pm On May 24, 2023 |
Angelfrost:
Stay single, una no go hear!... I don't pity any of you!
If big and balling made men like Wizzy, Flavour, and Burna are still single with all their endless wealth, broke ass Negroes will be falling into unions all in the name of Love!
What a Pity!!! But you're married. You didn't take your own counsel 1 Like |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Angelfrost(m): 8:22pm On May 24, 2023 |
being:
Kindly keep quiet!!! There are several rich people in different areas of endeavours who are married and that for a long time!!
Your life frustrations are not my headache...! I never said Marriage is solely dependent on money, that was your pitiably flawed deduction stemming from your diminished objectivity. Marriage is simply not for everyone! Whether rich or poor! Thank you. 3 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by DMerciful(m): 8:22pm On May 24, 2023 |
Its ok for marriage to crash if one person is not happy. Marriage is meant for man and not man for marriage! If your wife is not ready to willingly perform her conjugal rights especially when you're performing your duty as a provider and protector, divorce her or get a side chick or better a second wife! being:
klass99, this is a recipe for disaster esp in marriage!! @ OP Take note two wrongs will crash the marriage in no time.. that's d direction 2 wrongs will take you.. esp with someone like her who did not grow up seeing a marriage work. 5 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Paracetamol01: 8:23pm On May 24, 2023 |
Sorry bro and take heart... but get a side chick or divorce and get a new wife 2 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by jesmond3945: 8:23pm On May 24, 2023 |
CuriousMind2022:
Pocohantas, you're a very popular moniker here, so I know you very well. And I will take my time to respond to you. This is also my alternate moniker, which I created last year while my marriage was on the verge of collapsing.
You read my thread and I don't blame you for making the assumptions that you made.
March 22, 2022, is a day I will never forget in my life. On that fateful day, my wife and I had a fight and she pulled five kitchen knives on me, that she will kill me, kill herself and then call our parents to come take our baby. Unknowingly, to me, my wife whom I married had become filled with so much resentment for me. She literarily saw me as a filthy person, because of my bad habits then. I was consumed in lust and masturbation, I wake up in the mornings then and the first thing I do is to start surfing Instagram admiring all manner of women with big butts. Slowly, I became obsessed with soft porn (At the time I told myself I wasn't doing pornography because I don't watch pornstars have sex).
Thankfully, after I shared my ordeal here last year, I got to know that I was actually doing soft porn.
After the fight last year, I left my house to go live with my elder brother. I actually stayed there for about 3 weeks, before the issue was resolved and I returned back home. It took interventions from 2 of our pastors and my elder brother and his wife to resolve the issue. My wife is a sensitive person, and I didn't know she had hacked my phone and was seeing everything I was doing on the internet. She literarily knew the names of the handles, I loved visiting. This caused her to hate me so much! She didn't see the other good things I was doing. Well, I didn't really blame her for that.
After that terrible incident, I blamed myself for everything that happened. I still remember, how I wept in my elder brother's...I kept on calling my name and telling myself that see how I had allowed lust and pervasion to ruin my home. I was broken, and I cried to God to help me overcome those bad habits and restore my home. Thankfully, God help me. The first thing I had to do was to come out clean! I confessed to my pastors and my elder brother the real problem in my home.
As a Christian, I have come to know that the only way to be free from such secret and destructive sin as pornography and masturbation is by coming out publicly.
Aside from coming out publicly, I took some drastic steps. I deleted all my social media accounts (Instagram, Facebook, and even WhatsApp). I also did away with using and having a smartphone, I used torchlight for a very long time just to avoid stumbling on my triggers on the internet. Just to add, that it was also quite easy for me to overcome those bad habits of mine because I was not really an addict as my wife thought. I started masturbating when I was already a full-grown man, I loved looking at beautiful women and that was actually the part that I struggled with. But thankfully, God helped me and even now I can boldly share my story anywhere I was once trapped in the web of soft pornography, but God helped me to overcome it.
I really didn't owe you this explanation, but I saw the need to clear you on this that what you read in my thread last year, is an old me.
As I stated in my original post in this thread, I still believe my wife's background is what is chiefly affecting her. And she is not the type that listens to advice, if not she probably would have improved. I still remember the battles we had to fight both physically and spiritually before we could get married. Her family practically did not want her to get married.
too bad. At this point you need marriage counselling |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Angelfrost(m): 8:24pm On May 24, 2023 |
Octopusssy:
But you're married. You didn't take your own counsel Marriage is not for everyone is not the same as "Marriage is for nobody"! I got married and have remained happily married without unnecessary drama because it clearly suits me. There are several people, even close associates enjoying singleness the same way! 3 Likes |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by Bfly: 8:24pm On May 24, 2023 |
As for the man you have entered into it already as regard the vow you made in God's presence and HE commanded shouldn't be broken. Just pray she is not going out with another man. Then you can start applying your masculine prowess to win her back because i still don't understand how you agree to have sex only on Saturday's morning; something that is supposed be spontaneous.
That Aside...
Daily we continue to drift from the real reason for marriage probably because the Christian faith has not properly laid it down in a way we can understand and has put a vow to it.
Firstly Love is not the essence of marriage.
From the stance of evolution the man goes to the woman because he needs sex and someone to keep his home and the woman accepts the man because He sees he can provide and protect him. This gives rise to love as the mutual benefits continues
This potential must be evident before you enter into marriage or else be prepare to deal with unending issues. Love is not the reason for marriage. You can aswell love your friend to the brim. |
| Re: I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? by NuCypher: 8:25pm On May 24, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:
All I read is you equate love with sex and your wife denying you sex means she has no love for you. And you somehow think the blame should all be on her as far as the problems you perceive in your marriage, no be so? **yawn*** Always stupid as usual. Never fails to spew rubbish from that dilapidated tank of a mouth you have. I'm guessing your twisted sense missed that part where he said the "height" of it was her not calling him to ask if he arrived safely or not. |
