Chidiebere was a young lady i would say did not have too many life opportunities or shall i say was rather unlucky in life.

Yes Chidiebere!, that was her real name and it was the year 2002.

First her mom had died when she was about 9-year old and coming from a family of five with four other siblings, life was real hard and she was the eldest, had to step into the large shoes of her late mom to support her dad's meagre income.

Dropped out from school at an early age to hawk food by the roadside and support the family.
Her father, Linus who was a self-proclaimed Christian.
Linus was a labourer and not making enough and always directing his anger at his family.

He soon took to drinking and became very abusive even towards his wife before her demise.

At about the time Chidiebere was twelve, she started getting sexually molested by her dad and on occasions would get physically assaulted when advances where resisted.

My wife (then my fiance) was a year one student at Lasu in Ojo and had come in contact with this poor lady.

She always wears the same clothes and always smiling.
At the tome, she was hawking food at Lasu and my wife would always patronize her. They would sit down and talk and overtime became friends. She told my was all her life stories and my wife took pity on her.

Chidiebere and the family where living in Iyanaba at the time around the Lasu metropolis and my wife would always give money and gift to this lady, i got introduced to her.

I was dating my wife around the time.
At 19, Chidiebere ran away from home when the abuses could not be tolerated any longer and with no relative in Lagos, she sought refuge at a church in Iyanaba.

She was sleeping on floor and benches in the night and going to hawk for foods in the day. She was invited to our wedding and at some point, we lost contact.

Fast forward five years down the lane, I and my wife hadr left Nigeria and still tried to stay in contact by phone.

We later discovered that Chidiebere had met a young man in the church, had fallen in love and they had gotten married.

As a matter of fact, she already had two little kids and was pregnant with the third. They were living in a room and parlor around Iyanaba and my wife would send money.

This lady was already getting abuses from the husband, the guy could not keep a job and not enough to take care of the family.
At some point, she had to take our calls on a neighbors cellphone because she did not have a phone at the time.

My wife had asked her to consider family planning after the birth of the third child but she said the husband was not in support.

At 32, she was already with five kids and back to back.
When my wife spoke with her, she encauraged family planning and my wife even sent money to this lady to find an hospital and take some family planning as it was obvious the husband was only interested in getting her pregnant with no means to take care.Her husband, at the time was against family planning.

The family later moved to Sango Ota where they lost the first child who was a girl and around 10 at the time.

My wife tried severally to reach Chidiebere at around January 2014 but could not get her on the phone. She called the neighbor and was told Chidiebere was trying to give birth to child number six and had died. Her corpse was at the mortuary of the local hospital in Sango Ota.
I felt very sad at the passing of this lady who i consedered to be unfortunate all life time.

By the way, this a true life story and Chidiebere was known to my family.

Why the hell am i bringing this story to Nairaland, my purpose is to seek opinions from married ladies in the house.

If you find yourself in this unfortunate position of Chidiebere, whould you go through with a family planning withount the consent of your husband ? We had encaurager her at the time to take a family planning without the knowledge of the spouse for her own safety and to not get pregnant again under any circumstances.

If you are an husband and found out your spouse had carried out a family planning without your knowledge, what would be your rea tion?
I consider myself to be liberal and would not be very angry if my wife had undergone a family planning without my consent and mutual agreement.

Now, Chidiebere was very dead and hubby immediately moved the kids to his parent in the village and continued with his life.

What would you have done differently?

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