Dear diary, one of these days, I promise to serve it hot to one of these troublesome old men and women using their age to intimidate people. They are the people I’ve timing, and soon, one of them collected Woto Woto. The highest they will or can do is to either place a curse on me or run one of their usual charms for me. But thanks be to God, for the many Mountain of fire and Chosen Charismatic ministries, around where their enchantments can be undone.

A day before yesterday, dear diary, I was next in line in a bank ATM queue, where I wanted to withdraw cash for something, when this old man walked up to me, and asked that I allow him to withdraw, because he was in a haste, and yeah, I actually wanted to help, but looking at the two guys behind me, whose faces looked like the wall of Zerrubabel and the gate of Macedonia respectively, I had to lie to the old man. I told him that my twin sister was hospitalized, and needs money for treatment urgently.

He said “Okay”, and grumblingly left. His grumbles are the least of my problems anyways. It is better to be an enemy to him than fall into the evil hands of the wicked demons behind me. These ones that their faces look like that of this Nollywood actor called “Uwaezuoke”

A few minutes after I dismissed him, he returned and this time, forcefully slotted himself into my front.
Omoor I couldn’t take it. I touched his shoulders and gently told him “Sir, this is not how things are done. You don’t come from Zurubi-nabi, in Sokoto state into Aniocha LGA of Delta, and immediately desire to be their local government chairman. You will have to follow due process. First, become a resident of Aniocha, and establish good relationships with the people there, before looking for elective positions.

The old man looked at me and replied “In your mind, I know you’ll think you have made so much sense. I don’t blame you, boy. It is this civilization and social media that have made young people become so disrespectful. So an old man like me should stand on this queue and wait, while kids young enough to be my grandchildren withdraw. No respect!

I angrily replied to him and told him “Sir, this is not Umuchu land-sharing committee, sir. Banks have no business with seniority and age. If you are looking for respect, go back to the compound in your village, sit in your corridor or balcony, and I’m sure there will be a lot of uncivilized children more than willing to lick the dust on your slippers. As for me, Chukwu Ebuka, I must withdraw from this ATM stand today before you do. I’ve been here before you came, sir.

After delivering this blast, which stirred laughter amongst co-ATM standees, he grew angry and lifted up his hands to slap. But people around held him and also held me too because I was also preparing a come-back punch that would have made his nose bleed.
Dear diary, you know Nigerians and their partial judgment. Instead of cautioning the wrong person, they all faced me because I was younger. All the mugus there said I should just chill and allow him to withdraw first, and I had no option but to agree.

But the God who answered Hannah fought my battle. Soon as he slotted his ATM card into the machine, his card was swallowed, and instead of withdrawing the money he was fighting for, he joined the customer care service/Complaint queue. I smiled and proceeded to slot in my own.
But Dear diary, Guess What happened?

My card wasn’t only swallowed, a card maintenance fee of 12,750 was immediately deducted from my account. Angrily, I raised up my head and wanted to go straight to the Bank manager’s first wife to lay my complaint, only to find this old man tying a whitish powder under a red handkerchief, and soaking saliva all around it. Omoor!


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Come finish ur story