My 18 year old fiancee (turning 19 in October), after constantly receiving physical abuses at home and no intention from her divorced parents to take her education serious, informed them she was leaving then she moved in with me voluntary on her own will, I am just a year older than her, I am 19 and turning 20 soon, I already proposed to her which she accepted earlier this year and she proposed the idea of court marriage to me, I made plans to prepare her and put her in school, we lived comfortably and fine without problems until her mother brought vigilantes to my residence, they beat me up with metals, heavy log of wood, they forced their way into my room took my two laptops, phone and tab, took my apple airpods pro, tore my shirt and paraded me on the streets like a criminal, threatened me with weapons and violence to unlock my phone, my mother and I were locked in a police cell for more than 24 hours, paid a lot of money as bail before we left.
Police kept beating my fiancee to reduce her age while writing her statement because her mother whom often abused her wanted to make a case to put me in prison. My fiancee was slapped by police officer and forced to make untrue statements but she didn't give in. My fiancee cried that she wanted to continually stay with me but she received beating for saying it, she cried and later revealed to me that a policeman attempted to rape her at the counter after sending out a junior officer, she even said the man was masturbating and cum. At the end of the day my left ear is blown and I can't hear from it, police forced me to write an undertaking to call off my relationship before letting me go on bail. My mother is not feeling fine after spending time in cell for what is not her business, Did I do any wrong allowing a lady who will be turning 19 soon come live in my residence out of her own free will? Is love a crime? We both thought we are adults capable of making our choices.

Yes you are wrong..

100%

Learn from ya lesson and move on..

Tyg3rFvry:
My 18 year old fiancee (turning 19 in October), after constantly receiving physical abuses at home and no intention from her divorced parents to take her education serious, informed them she was leaving then she moved in with me voluntary on her own will, I am just a year older than her, I am 19 and turning 20 soon, I already proposed to her which she accepted earlier this year and she proposed the idea of court marriage to me, we lived comfortably and fine without problems until her mother brought vigilantes to my residence, they beat me up with metals, heavy log of wood, they forced their way into my room took my two laptops, phone and tab, took my apple airpods pro, tore my shirt and paraded me on the streets like a criminal, threatened me with weapons and violence to unlock my phone, my mother and I were locked in a police cell for more than 24 hours, paid a lot of money as bail before we left.
Police kept beating my fiancee to reduce her age while writing her statement because her mother whom often abused her wanted to make a case to put me in prison. My fiancee was slapped by police officer and forced to make untrue statements but she didn't give in. My fiancee cried that she wanted to continually stay with me but she received beating for saying it, she cried and later revealed to me that a policeman attempted to rape her at the counter after sending out a junior officer, she even said the man was masturbating and cum. At the end of the day my left ear is blown and I can't hear from it, police forced me to write an undertaking to call off my relationship before letting me go on bail. My mother is not feeling fine after spending time in cell for what is not her business, Did I do any wrong allowing a lady who will be turning 19 soon come live in my residence out of her own free will? Is love a crime?

What exactly is your intention for telling us this tale of yours? To get us to each air our opinion on what may just be your spin of events? Or to get help or information on how to fight back, maybe even seek compensation from those who attacked and stole from you?

na story you dey find.

Due to her age you ought to have got consent from her parents.

You have to always look at things from a 360* perspective....for intended and unintended consequences.

Your mom too should have checked you and gone to her parents.

Whatever she is facing at home is their family matter.

otipoju:
■ Due to her age you ought to have got consent from her parents. You have to always look at things from a 360* perspective....for intended and unintended consequences. Your mom too should have checked you and gone to her parents. Whatever she is facing at home is their family matter.

Since when does an 18-year-old require consent in Nigeria to date?

Kobojunkie:
Since when does an 18-year-old require consent in Nigeria to date?

Whatever laws in operation, you can not side step local customs and traditions.

What you're facing is an ice drop compare to what you will face if that girl eventually dies I. Your custody when you've not officially asked her hands in marriage.

Your own adulescence stage of misbehaving came late. I supposed at your age, you don't know what you're doing but you are thinking that you're an adult to kidnap someone's daughter and be molesting her in the name of loving her.

I hope you'll accept this, if someone does it to your own daughter.

otipoju:
■ Whatever laws in operation, you can not side step local customs and traditions.

An 18-year-old is practically adult age even in Nigeria by law. There are no local customs that stop one from dating at that age. So, you telling OP that he ought to have gotten consent is... based on what?

According to the OP's story, the gal was not kidnapped, nor was she held against her free will. She even asked to remain with him. Her mother and the hoodlums she hired violated OP's rights, as well as the gal, 's in this. This is 2023 for Pete's sake. We ought to be calling for all to mend their ways so Nigeria as a whole can finally begin to get it right. Not beating about the bush in an attempt to maintain the closeminded views that have kept Nigeria tied down as it is.

Wait, your mom was aware you were in cohabitation with an 18 year old girl that ran away from home, and she was okay with it?

Tyg3rFvry:
My 18 year old fiancee (turning 19 in October), after constantly receiving physical abuses at home and no intention from her divorced parents to take her education serious, informed them she was leaving then she moved in with me voluntary on her own will, I am just a year older than her, I am 19 and turning 20 soon, I already proposed to her which she accepted earlier this year and she proposed the idea of court marriage to me, I made plans to prepare her and put her in school, we lived comfortably and fine without problems until her mother brought vigilantes to my residence, they beat me up with metals, heavy log of wood, they forced their way into my room took my two laptops, phone and tab, took my apple airpods pro, tore my shirt and paraded me on the streets like a criminal, threatened me with weapons and violence to unlock my phone, my mother and I were locked in a police cell for more than 24 hours, paid a lot of money as bail before we left.
Police kept beating my fiancee to reduce her age while writing her statement because her mother whom often abused her wanted to make a case to put me in prison. My fiancee was slapped by police officer and forced to make untrue statements but she didn't give in. My fiancee cried that she wanted to continually stay with me but she received beating for saying it, she cried and later revealed to me that a policeman attempted to rape her at the counter after sending out a junior officer, she even said the man was masturbating and cum. At the end of the day my left ear is blown and I can't hear from it, police forced me to write an undertaking to call off my relationship before letting me go on bail. My mother is not feeling fine after spending time in cell for what is not her business, Did I do any wrong allowing a lady who will be turning 19 soon come live in my residence out of her own free will? Is love a crime? We both thought we are adults capable of making our choices.

See ehn, i would blame you for being ignorant at your age.

You carry woman put for house, you come stay d very same house, no protection and no alertness.

Anyway i wish you recovery.

Next time change her sim, her phone, her social media so she is untraceable

At 20 you want to start doing father duties to a 19 year old girl, Omo your liver solid but your brain weak

Neverlookback:
Wait, your mom was aware you were in cohabitation with an 18 year old girl that ran away from home, and she was okay with it?

lol
Some mothers eh
The op might be a yahoo boy who is pumping money for the mom…she won’t say anything…
That is why it is very important to have a father figure in a young man’s life.

Kobojunkie:
An 18-year-old is practically adult age even in Nigeria by law. There are no local customs that stop one from dating at that age. So, you telling OP that he ought to have gotten consent is... based on what?

According to the OP's story, the gal was not kidnapped, nor was she held against her free will. She even asked to remain with him. Her mother and the hoodlums she hired violated OP's rights, as well as the gal, 's in this. This is 2023 for Pete's sake. We ought to be calling for all to mend their ways so Nigeria as a whole can finally begin to get it right. Not beating about the bush in an attempt to maintain the closeminded views that have kept Nigeria tied down as it is.

I have heard you. Having a rational discussion with folks like you is burdensome. A typical 18 year old Nigerian is still heavily dependent on the parents.

Most of us were until we graduated from University and started working.

No just dey argue for argument sake.

otipoju:
■ I have heard you. Having a rational discussion with folks like you is burdensome. A typical 18 year old Nigerian is still heavily dependent on the parents. Most of us were until we graduated from University and started working. No just dey argue for argument sake.

Um...stating that an 18-year old is regarded as an adult by law has little to nothing to do with whether or not said individual is still a dependent or not. Most 18-year-old remain dependents and rightly so. This is in no way unique to your Nigeria at all.
Here's an explanation of what the age of maturity is really about as taken from Wikipedia

The age of majority is the threshold of legal adulthood as recognized or declared in law. It is the moment when a person ceases to be considered a minor and assumes legal control over their person, actions, and decisions, thus terminating the control and legal responsibilities of their parents or guardian over them.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_majority

Kobojunkie:
An 18-year-old is practically adult age even in Nigeria by law. There are no local customs that stop one from dating at that age. So, you telling OP that he ought to have gotten consent is... based on what?

According to the OP's story, the gal was not kidnapped, nor was she held against her free will. She even asked to remain with him. Her mother and the hoodlums she hired violated OP's rights, as well as the gal, 's in this. This is 2023 for Pete's sake. We ought to be calling for all to mend their ways so Nigeria as a whole can finally begin to get it right. Not beating about the bush in an attempt to maintain the closeminded views that have kept Nigeria tied down as it is.

You are just trying to prove an invalid point. Where has your open minded view lead you to? Everything is wrong with what the Op did. If he is interested in marrying her legitimately, why not go and ask for her hand in marriage from her parents?

Don't worry your own 18years old daughter will leave your house and go and start cohabiting with a guy whom she isn't married to you hear. When the guy is done using her, you will come back here and read this your comment again.

Kobojunkie:
Um...stating that an 18-year old is regarded as an adult by law has little to nothing to do with whether or not said individual is still a dependent or not. Most 18-year-old remain dependents and rightly so. This is in no way unique to your Nigeria at all.
Here's an explanation of what the age of maturity is really about as taken from Wikipedia

What are you even typing? Not making any sense at all.

Kobojunkie:
Um...stating that an 18-year old is regarded as an adult by law has little to nothing to do with whether or not said individual is still a dependent or not. Most 18-year-old remain dependents and rightly so. This is in no way unique to your Nigeria at all.
Here's an explanation of what the age of maturity is really about as taken from Wikipedia

What exactly are you arguing about.

Please stop this sanctimonious bullshit. You and I know this is a completely wrong living situation, especially in Nigeria, irrespective of what year it is. Only in very rare occasions can something positive emanate from such lifestyle.

Kobojunkie:
An 18-year-old is practically adult age even in Nigeria by law. There are no local customs that stop one from dating at that age. So, you telling OP that he ought to have gotten consent is... based on what?

According to the OP's story, the gal was not kidnapped, nor was she held against her free will. She even asked to remain with him. Her mother and the hoodlums she hired violated OP's rights, as well as the gal, 's in this. This is 2023 for Pete's sake. We ought to be calling for all to mend their ways so Nigeria as a whole can finally begin to get it right. Not beating about the bush in an attempt to maintain the closeminded views that have kept Nigeria tied down as it is.

Kobojunkie:
Since when does an 18-year-old require consent in Nigeria to date?

Kobojunkie, as long as an 18years old girl still lives under her parents and she's still being fed by them, she requires consent to date except she does it without the parents knowing which is the OP's case.

As long as she left home after she clocked 18 and no longer a minor, the police can never establish a case of a minor being coerced by you to run away from home.

You are both young and so much ahead of you, you are too young to get into the mix of a dysfunctional family.

She shouldn't be co-habiting with you and your mother approving it. This is not love, this is someone escaping abuse from her family and you are more like the bus she entered to escape from those chasing her.

Her mother has no right to go the length she went, so involve a lawyer to recover all that was stolen from you and the inhumane treatment at the police station, you can go further by taking it to court if you choose to.

I believe she has relatives on both sides of her family who are cool headed, she should get them involved and they all work out an alternative place where she can stay, away from her mother and she discuss with them to help her start learning a skill, once she is through with the apprenticeship and establishes herself, she can always enroll for part time program at a university.

Beremx:
Kobojunkie, as long as an 18years old girl still lives under her parents and she's still being fed by them, she requires consent to date except she does it without the parents knowing which is the OP's case.

I sincerely hope this isn't about gender here because I have never heard any parent say an 18-year-old boy needs consent from his parents to date?

Neverlookback:
Please stop this sanctimonious bullshit. You and I know this is a completely wrong living situation, especially in Nigeria, irrespective of what year it is. Only in very rare occasions can something positive emanate from such lifestyle.

Quit using "Nigeria" as a reason to assert unhealthy control over the lives of other human even if they happen to be blood.

The 18-year-old made the decision for herself. Her mother's reaction is what is criminal --- against the law.

I'm not sure if you are deliberately missing the point. The 18 year old girl does not need consent to date. The main issue here is an 18 years old girl co-habiting with a 19/20 years old boy. This is a disaster waiting to happen.

How are you not seeing that the cards are against this girl child in such union, especially in a dysfunctional society like Nigeria.

Kobojunkie:
I sincerely hope this isn't about gender here because I have never heard any parent say an 18-year-old boy needs consent from his parents to date?

Neverlookback:
■ I'm not sure if you are deliberately missing the point. The 18 year old girl does not need consent to date. The main issue here is an 18 years old girl co-habiting with a 19/20 years old boy. This is a disaster waiting to happen.
■ How are you not seeing that the cards are against this girl child in such union, especially in a dysfunctional society like Nigeria.

1. It is a disaster waiting to happen to whom?

2. You don't even seem concerned with the girl's mother's criminal assault against the OP in this. Is that also because of this dysfunctional society excuse or what?

The girl made her choice --- she was not kidnapped or dragged off to stay with the boy against her will. Yes, her choice would likely end up with bad consequences but it was her choice nonetheless. And so there is no excuse for the actions of the mother and police if we are to believe OP'S story.

Have you completed your education? At 20, what makes you think you're ready for marriage and even gave you the impetus to camp a girl without her parents consent? Even if you're going to marry her, is it not the parents consent you're still going to seek?

You just risked your life for nothing. My advice, forget about relationship or marriage for now and focus on becoming a man, get a bearing by what time you'll be mature enough for marriage. Then go for a mature girl but don't you ever camp a girl again.