some of them are lesbian/ ashawo, so the can marry.

Cos women always want to marry upward the social ladder

harakiri:


90% of Nigerian men are "looking" for means out of Nigeria? Where do you get your statistics from? What kind of men were you dating in Nigeria? Do you think it's every guy here that's desperate to live in oyibo land? My dear, a lot of us have great lives going for us and the only thing that would make us leave Nigeria is if the country breaks up with ethnic/tribal/religious/political warfare. A lot of us only travel for vacation/holidays/visitation for the sake of it and nothing more. Get your mind right abeg! Not every guy is eager to abandon their businesses/properties/assets/investments to come and live with you in that rented shack in whatever country you found yourself.

Nonsense!

Cosign 100%

It is the culture as well. Women who go abroad and see how people are there, then come back to Nigeria and see women there. Women want to be more free once they go to America or England. So a Nigerian man will not let thm be asfree. He might tread her as a slave. Rich men have the most options and poor men have less options. So it is all about social standing.

Also, men might want the woman to stay at home and take care of the kids, and the woman wants to go out and work and also take care of the children.

igbo2011:

It is the culture as well. Women who go abroad and see how people are there, then come back to Nigeria and see women there. Women want to be more free once they go to America or England. So a Nigerian man will not let thm be asfree. He might tread her as a slave. Rich men have the most options and poor men have less options. So it is all about social standing.

Also, men might want the woman to stay at home and take care of the kids, and the woman wants to go out and work and also take care of the children.

Hope this time will end, they should give the choice to women

So it is a big deal for SOME women not to go back "home" to marry? Just like someone said why would someone go back home wherever that may be and marry a complete stranger?_{old boyfriends excluded.}

Long One:

That’s not true. I have friends making mad money in Nigeria, who I have tried to convince to study abroad or at least, come for a visit, but they all refused. Moreover, they are happy sponsoring their girlfriends abroad for holiday. I also know one that studied here who said he’ll never come back again, as he hates all the rules – he even refused to come for his own graduation.

studying abroad is different from marrying a nigerian with a british passport!
the guy that studied there and vouched never to come back is correct - without a sponsor dropping the fees/upkeep/pocket money and rent is a bit tough.
students are now only allowed to work 10 hrs per week. it's a different proposition when you marry!

I agree the jobless youths won’t hesitate, as they feel life is greener on this side, but sincerely speaking, not everyone wants to live in the west.

i take it you have never been to the british high commission in lagos or abuja!
sheer ignorance!

ojdollars:

@coogar ,  From the way you talk, you sounded always like a kid. You talk as if you are not a Nigerian or something. Don't come here to a Forum like this, full of intellectual Nigerians to start writing trash.

you are a lobotomized ape!
so you count yourself as an intellectual nigerian with the crap you spewed above? in my estimation, you are not wiser than a billy-goat!
you alcohol-sodden sack of shyte!

You have insulted Nigerians in general, especially the youth more than once in your post on this thread. You talk like you have a surname where you live, who knows you? How much do you have? What kind of life are you living wherever you are? Everyone have access to the internet, so I am not surprised at you. silly thing

how ironic?
you have spoken like a complete simpleton. how have i insulted nigerian youths? are you lunkheads so thick to handle the truth?
you want me to call a spade a hoe and hide your atrocities in that country when it comes to getting out of nigeria?
you are a disgrace to the nigerian flag, you autistic child!

harakiri:

Reluctant to "lower their standards"? How typical. This is a confirmation of the "social ladder climbing syndrome" i mentioned in my earlier post. Women are the ones who will say "love conquers all" but at the same time, there are "standards". Why won't love be "hard" for them to find.

that's the way women are - better deal with it!
no woman truly wants to date/marry a man below her standard. it's only when the options are limited that they look lower!

90% of Nigerian men are "looking" for means out of Nigeria? Where do you get your statistics from?

go to the foreign embassies in nigeria and see for yourself.
were you blind when a certain fred(fake canadian embassy agent) defrauded your countrymen to the tune of 350 million naira?

What kind of men were you dating in Nigeria? Do you think it's every guy here that's desperate to live in oyibo land?

i am not a woman
90% is not every guy unless you have lost your ability to count!

My dear, a lot of us have great lives going for us and the only thing that would make us leave Nigeria is if the country breaks up with ethnic/tribal/religious/political warfare.

so i have heard. a lot of youse live great lives and still fall victims to these rogue agents screwing you up!

A lot of us only travel for vacation/holidays/visitation for the sake of it and nothing more. Get your mind right abeg! Not every guy is eager to abandon their businesses/properties/assets/investments to come and live with you in that rented shack in whatever country you found yourself.
Nonsense!

like i have said, 90% is not every guy and the sheer majority of nigerians would leave their businesses/properties/assets/investments/families to go abroad where the security of lives and properties are better. furthermore, the nigerians living abroad also have businesses/properties/assets/investments and families in nigeria so your point is senseless, watery and spineless.

i will also add if your extended families stay in shacks abroad, good luck to them.
not everyone you have a rare opportunity to chat with is poverty-stricken like yours.
if you cannot handle the truth, why not get a strong rope, a beam to tie it to and go n meet your creator, it's that easy!

coogar:

i take it you have never been to the british high commission in lagos or abuja!
sheer ignorance!

So, because the British High Commission is full, it means everyone wants to live in the west? That is the basis of your argument; see how flawed your thinking is.

The few people who are well placed do not even think about that for your information, rather it’s the downtrodden poor to middle class. The main problem with Nigeria is the uneven distribution of wealth, and the few who profit from it see no reason to move abroad.

Why do our politicians always want to come back to power? Why don’t they move abroad and retire with their loot if the West is every Nigerian’s heaven from the Nigerian gospel according to coogar? They buy properties abroad for breaks, but they are based in Nigeria, why? Are they an exception to your rule? Or do you just like arguing for argument sake?

Long One:

So, because the British High Commission is full, it means everyone wants to live in the west? That is the basis of your argument; see how flawed your thinking is.

i will keep correcting you till you get the picture.
90% is not everyone - 100% is.

The few people who are well placed do not even think about that for your information, rather it’s the downtrodden poor to middle class. The main problem with Nigeria is the uneven distribution of wealth, and the few who profit from it see no reason to move abroad.

the few who are well placed are less than 5%
if nigeria is 160 million population, what is the 5% of that? i am sure that 5% is more than the population of libya.

Why do our politicians always want to come back to power? Why don’t they move abroad and retire with their loot if the West is every Nigerian’s heaven from the Nigerian gospel according to coogar?

politicians are less than 1% unless you are trying to convince anyone there are 1.6 million politicians in nigeria.
let's even ignore their kids who study abroad or live abroad permanently.

They buy properties abroad for breaks, but they are based in Nigeria, why? Are they an exception to your rule? Or do you just like arguing for arguing sake?

when you are able to deal with figures, you would understand the premise of my argument!
for now, you are just pissing in the wind. 90% of the population of nigeria are middle-class and lower class.
the average nigerian survives on £1 per day! the top 5% are extremely rich and they are part of the exception - the other 5% are the other parts of the exception!

Its not just easy for the ladies to come back home from abroad since its the men that propose for marriage na, poster use ur brain.

A lady may come back from abroad to look for Nigerian man to marry but at the end of the road she may not see anyone that will come across her for that so why wasting hell of a time in Nigeria since you can never propose to anyone except your family member arrange a dude for you b4 ur arrival.

A Nigerian guy can land in the country today and still get someone to hook up with same day as long as your pocket is full of stash and have a nice ride.

But why would someone think that Nigerian women can come back home to marry when they can't even propose to a guy for a date/relationship.


Toba
Bro, all what you said are so full of shitt, you need to think twice before spitting out shittz outta ur mouth. Why keep saying Nigerian men back home are jobless/lazy while you're right there in the west, are you not a Nigerian? why don't you come back home to ur land lets see how strong you're to create a job for urself and others, don't sit right there in an already made country saying nonsense about ur ppl, dats stupid.

@ coogar

Even the ones making 1 trillion naira per day in nigeria wants to get out of the country!

This was the problem I had with your post; I didn’t say anything else about your figures. Next time read properly before you start arguing.

Now, what I have been trying to tell you is in pidgin so you’ll understand is:
‘for the ones wey dey earn 1 trillion per year (few who profit from it-your 1 trillion) no be all wan come jand or yankee because of dere connection to the politicians and na dem dey chop all d juicy contracts, so why them go wan waka?’

Long One:

@ coogar
Even the ones making 1 trillion naira per day in nigeria wants to get out of the country!
This was the problem I had with your post; I didn’t say anything else about your figures. Next time read properly before you start arguing.

even the ones making 1 trillion naira per day in nigeria want out is a very valid statement.
travelling out of nigeria is majorly seen as the next big step. it's a blessing on it's own regardless of what happens when the traveller gets abroad.
people give testimonies in churches and mosques for visitor's visa - fact! it's one thing to have stacks of money, it's another thing to want exposure and the pleasure of travelling abroad.

Now, what I have been trying to tell you is in pidgin so you’ll understand is:
‘for the ones wey dey earn 1 trillion per year (few who profit from it-your 1 trillion) no be all wan come jand or yankee because of dere connection to the politicians and na dem dey chop all d juicy contracts, so why them go wan waka?’

faux pas!
it's a cycle. mostly 4 years and if they are so lucky(8 years maximum)
the people ruling in the last administration are being hounded now and taken to court. where's james ibori today? he made 1 trillion per hour but when the game was up, he ghosted out of the country!

But why ppl think that its every Nigerians would love to live in the west even though they have a good job in Nigeria? where do they get their statistics from? thats nonsense!!!

Tosinville:

But why ppl think that its every Nigerians would love to live in the west even though they have a good job in Nigeria? where do they get their statistics from? thats nonsense!!!

Omo T, Bros.

The only people that would have this mentality are those who see nothing positive in themselves. These are people who basically tell God that he made a mistake by creating them and making them Nigerians. And this is coming from someone who lives in the west coast in the midst of hollywood celebs, nice beaches, restaurants, shops, dimepieces etc, It angers me the way our own people look down on their own people and land. I know many people who moved back home and are doing big things and wouldn't even move back to places like LA, San Diego, NY, Atlanta, Miami etc.

Personally I think many women in diaspora have a hard time finding eligible bachelors in Nigeria because those men that are doing well (socio-economically) in Nigeria would not trade Nigeria for the west. Yes, Nigeria has its challenges, and many, however, they are still enjoying a quality of life that the west can't match and many of these women are not willing to move back home.

Lax75

Bro, i tire for these ppl o! and their mentalities, its only God can save Nigerians from poverty with the way many Nigerian folks reason on here as if the west is like a paradise to 'em.

Tosinville:

Lax75

Bro, i tire for these ppl o! and their mentalities, its only God can save Nigerians from poverty with the way many Nigerian folks reason on here as if the west is like a paradise to 'em.

Its ok. Let them continue demeaning where they are from and their own people. Who needs Nigerians like that? Do you? I am proud to be a Nigerian, despite the foul reputation that the "no goods" have earned the majority of smart, hopeful, lively, and ambitious Nigerians. The other day, I ran into Teddy Riley while hanging out on Rodeo Drive. When I told him I was Nigerian you should see how he stood back like one omo aje paki and was like "bros, I've been trying to come out to Nigeria for ages with Blackstreet!!" His had an EXTRA excitement the moment he found out that I was Nigerian. He's not the only one who has displayed this reception towards me after finding out I'm Nigerian. At any given day out west, you can run into anyone at any given time.

^^That whatz up.

ladies of the west hustle first b4 family life and it becomes a problem to go back home most of the times, and if they do its back to thier bf or ex

Naija girls do not mess with " guys" who do not stack up to their "level" Imagine a university female student telling her male classmates that they are not on her level. It's an assimilated and accepted Nigerian culture. Parents encouraging their girls to get married to the best husbands ie highest bidder. Nigerian male celebrities like Okocha and Kalu came to Naija to marry their wives, but someone like Oluchi Onweagba married an Italian. I dont know if Darego is dating or engaged, but one thing is clear, not coming home to marry a Nigerian.

@coogar
reading your responses i couldn't help but make a comment to correct your impression about nigeria and nigerian men generally.
from what i have read of your comments it seems you have not been to nigeria in a long while hence are suffering a partial or total disconnect from what is on ground.i live and work and studied in the uk both undergrad and post grad but i do travel to nigeria at least once a year.

first of all the reason you don't get more women getting married to nigerians resident in nigeria has nothing to do with the reasons you have mentioned,it is because of the different cultures, most women who have lived abroad are used to the behaviour of the western man i.e being caring,helping out and stuffs as opposed to the average nigerian man who is still conservative and old fashioned in their outlook they still expect the woman to cook and clean and do the necessary house wife duties.

the second reason is because most men who are even averagely successful have already being hooked in nigeria,the chances of finding a man who has an ok to good to excellent job without a serious relationship is next to bill. i know a couple of my female friends actually who went to nigeria to join their husbands one of them is divorced now after 2 yrs due to the first reason i adduced above and the other has not been able to hold down a relationship.
by the way both of them have british passports,they are well off financially with well off parents and even got good jobs when they got to nigeria.one of the them man was not even bothered about applying for the british passport she actually forced him and did all the processing.

on a last note,go and find out any nigerian guy you find that is doing ok the chances of them grabbing an opportunity to travel above is average 50% before now it is even lower like 40% the ones who do just come here on holidays and go back who wants to leave a good quality of life and for the sake of a better life in uk come here and rent a single room,start hiding for ukba and eking out a living doing odd jobs?nigeria is not that bad.

my dad brought my brother here just last month and already my brother changed his mind about staying after going round london and seeing what people are doing in the name of earning living he is going back out of his our volition next week according to him he has a much better quality of life in nigeria

don't make blanket generalisations about nigerian men when you only know a handful

lucabrasi:

@coogar
reading your responses i couldn't help but make a comment to correct your impression about nigeria and nigerian men generally.
from what i have read of your comments it seems you have not been to nigeria in a long while hence are suffering a partial or total disconnect from what is on ground.i live and work and studied in the uk both undergrad and post grad but i do travel to nigeria at least once a year.

i am sure i have been to naija more times in recent times than you have done in the last decade but this immaterial in this debate.
it seems many nigerians cannot read or comprehend effectively. . . .

first of all the reason you don't get more women getting married to nigerians resident in nigeria has nothing to do with the reasons you have mentioned,it is because of the different cultures, most women who have lived abroad are used to the behaviour of the western man i.e being caring,helping out and stuffs as opposed to the average nigerian man who is still conservative and old fashioned in their outlook they still expect the woman to cook and clean and do the necessary house wife duties.

you have not discovered the cure of hiv-aids here cos i mentioned this in my first reply:

coogar:

the mentality of most nigerian men is a big factor too. many nigerian males at home still see women as slaves to be bullied or to be manipulated!

the second reason is because most men who are even averagely successful have already being hooked in nigeria,the chances of finding a man who has an ok to good to excellent job without a serious relationship is next to bill. i know a couple of my female friends actually who went to nigeria to join their husbands one of them is divorced now after 2 yrs due to the first reason i adduced above and the other has not been able to hold down a relationship.

if they are joining their husbands, how does that correlate with the topic we are discussing?
concentrate - the topic says why don't women go back home to marry, not join their husbands - the examples you gave above are married couples that are separated, right?

by the way both of them have british passports,they are well off financially with well off parents and even got good jobs when they got to nigeria.one of the them man was not even bothered about applying for the british passport she actually forced him and did all the processing.

if they are well off financially, they are probably in the 10% echelon i described in my previous posts.

on a last note,go and find out any nigerian guy you find that is doing ok the chances of them grabbing an opportunity to travel above is average 50% before now it is even lower like 40% the ones who do just come here on holidays and go back who wants to leave a good quality of life and for the sake of a better life in uk come here and rent a single room,start hiding for ukba and eking out a living doing odd jobs?nigeria is not that bad.

this is why i keep saying nigerians have lost their ability to comprehend.
grabbing an opportunity to travel abroad has different facets. visitor's visa, students' visa and whatever are not what i was talking about.
i am talking about marrying a british citizen and remaining permanently in the uk where you can work and travel without restrictions. who marries a female british cititzen and still hides from ukba or eke out a living doing odd jobs? lucabrasi, compare like for like!

my dad brought my brother here just last month and already my brother changed his mind about staying after going round london and seeing what people are doing in the name of earning living he is going back out of his our volition next week according to him he has a much better quality of life in nigeria don't make blanket generalisations about nigerian men when you only know a handful

your dad didn't bring your brother here to marry. so you are comparing apples to oranges!

the premise of my argument is. . . . . . .a chic with a british passport going to nigeria to find a husband would get many offers. 90% of the men in nigeria would jump at the offer because - it's the easiest way to get the indefinite leave to remain, they can work without restrictions and there's a soft landing pad because the woman bringing you in must have an address and some tangible amount of money to sustain the man before he can sustain himself financially.

this is whole different to just travelling to visit or travelling to become a student and blah blah blah examples you guys keep bringing up.
we are talking about marriage/settlement!
there's a universe of difference between the two!

coogar:

i am sure i have been to naija more times in recent times than you have done in the last decade but this immaterial in this debate.
it seems many nigerians cannot read or comprehend effectively. . . .

well clap for yourself,possibly you don't have a job or your job or business entails going to nigeria every month i have a company/boss i report to here and i don't have the time to visit nigeria every week as for comprehension trust me i do comprehend and understand however i won't rise to the verbal barb.verbal barbs or insults is a sign of mental insecurity

coogar:

you have not discovered the cure of hiv-aids here cos i mentioned this in my first reply:

what r you on about??

coogar:

if they are joining their husbands, how does that correlate with the topic we are discussing?
concentrate - the topic says why don't women go back home to marry, not join their husbands - the examples you gave above are married couples that are separated, right?

guess you are the one who has issues with english comprehension after all,the topic hence discussion/debate is about the correlation between the nigerian man going to nigeria to find or join or whatever a wife and why their female counterparts don't do same.
now you ask me how this connects to the topic?well ask yourself this will you as a woman leave the shores of the uk if you have not already had a committed relationship?
the examples i gave and any normal and sensible lady would have had a relationship going before going back to meet a guy
now i will ask you to pay close attention yourself i was adducing reasons why women don't go back home to marry
to recap for you

because of culture/societal issues with an instance that i know hence the example, which is of a typical london career chick,who hooks up with a nigerian based guy and goes back to nigeria,gets married to him and they later divorce comprende?

coogar:

if they are well off financially, they are probably in the 10% echelon i described in my previous posts.

still doesn't change the fact that there are other reasons other than your blanket generalisations.besides how did you come by your figure pls show us the qualitative and quantitative research you have done to arrive at this figure you so readily put up.

coogar:

this is why i keep saying nigerians have lost their ability to comprehend.
grabbing an opportunity to travel abroad has different facets. visitor's visa, students' visa and whatever are not what i was talking about.
i am talking about marrying a british citizen and remaining permanently in the uk where you can work and travel without restrictions. who marries a female british cititzen and still hides from ukba or eke out a living doing odd jobs? lucabrasi, compare like for like!

no sir/ma you are the one mixing things up thereby confusing yourself, the basic premise is this,before the recession in uk,not a lot of grounded nigerian men with an average to blossoming career or business in nigeria will readily give all that up to start again in the united kingdom. with the advent of the recession and its attendant joblessness e.t.c even far less will abandon what they are doing in nigeria even to live here permanently.
secondly the fact that the people you know will readily jump at such a chance does not necessarily mean others i know will do so so we both know different people,in different stations open to different opportunities in nigeria(note that we are not even talking about multi millionaires here)
a friend of one of my brothers who is presently married to a briton lives in the northwest,the girl has just given birth to their child and presently she has also gotten the guy a british passport more than 2 yrs now and the guy still lives in lagos but comes to see them regularly.
he doesn't have a fantastic job,average yet as at this weekend he was still empathic that nothing will ever make him settle down in the uk, i know 2 other ppl who are my brothers contemporaries like this directly.

coogar:

your dad didn't bring your brother here to marry. so you are comparing apples to oranges!

he didn't bring him here to marry but he brought him here so he can stay here and possibly school/work here subject to him looking around spending time with different family members and experience life in the uk.after a month in his own summation people in the uk apart from the social amenities and infrastructures went through much more stress than the averagely comfortable nigerian

coogar:

the premise of my argument is. . . . . . .a chic with a british passport going to nigeria to find a husband would get many offers.

i agree,even i living in london with no immigration issues or an american or any guy will definitely step up to a fine chick the british passport does not necessarily mean that the kind of guys she is after will offer her marriage.dont forget she is not going to nigeria to marry a yahoo yahoo guy,conductor or a guy sleeping under the bridge she most probably want a guy with an education,career a title bit of money e.t.c

coogar:

90% of the men in nigeria would jump at the offer because - it's the easiest way to get the indefinite leave to remain, they can work without restrictions and there's a soft landing pad because the woman bringing you in must have an address and some tangible amount of money to sustain the man before he can sustain himself financially.

this is precisely where i have an issue with you,a street boy/man will jump at the offer,same way the bums we see on the street corner here will jump at an offer to do anything for 10 quid.however a nigerian man with the qualities listed above might not necessarily jump at the offer.
this is why i made the comment at first that you have a partial disconnect about present day nigeria, people are getting mortgages,car finance i.e brand new cars not tokunbo we use here
my ex gf works in one of the telecoms coy in abuja(M.T.N) as a call centre staff after she finished uni and post grad in london and aberdeen,she is on a basic starting salary and with benefits she earns more (take home when converted to pounds) than a team supervisor doing same job in the uk.
she has a better quality of life than the manager of a call centre here in the uk and with a company loan she is able to get a brand new car which is deducted from her salary monthly not only this they are given bonuses every year and also offered household items for a fraction of the price like generators,washing machines e.t.c this is not all the benefits as they enjoy even twice more than i have listed here and any mtn staff can bear me witness.now pls compare this to where you work

coogar:

this is whole different to just travelling to visit or travelling to become a student and blah blah blah examples you guys keep bringing up.
we are talking about marriage/settlement!
there's a universe of difference between the two!

either visiting or staying,the opportunities available in the country compared to where they r coming from will determine if they r staying or not if you raise the same argument using america or canada i will have a different view based on my experience.
asides the infrastructures like light,security(which is not 100% fool proof) e.t.c when talking about opportunities and quality of life no sane man will knowingly give up their career or business because of a uk passport

lucabrasi:

well clap for yourself,possibly you don't have a job or your job or business entails going to nigeria every month i have a company/boss i report to here and i don't have the time to visit nigeria every week as for comprehension trust me i do comprehend and understand however i won't rise to the verbal barb.verbal barbs or insults is a sign of mental insecurity

you won't rise to verbal barbs but your psychic ability tells you only jobless people frequently travel to nigeria?
the mental faculty of an average nigerian worries me.

what r you on about??guess you are the one who has issues with english comprehension after all,the topic  hence discussion/debate is about the correlation between the nigerian man going to nigeria to find or join or whatever a wife and why their female counterparts don't do same.
now you ask me how this connects to the topic?well ask yourself this will you as a woman leave the shores of the uk if you have not already had a committed relationship?

do the men leaving the uk from nigeria already have relationships in nigeria? you are talking about english comprehension and yet you are mixing apples and oranges. the nigerian men the op is talking about go to nigeria to find spouses and marry! new relationships, which is quite different from what you are saying here.

the examples i gave and any normal and sensible lady would have had a relationship going before going back to meet a guy
now i will ask you to pay close attention yourself i was adducing reasons why women don't go back home to marry
to recap for you

most women don't have any relationship going in nigeria before leaving the uk. they just go there to try their luck via hook-ups or matchmaking by friends or relatives. some of them even aim the nysc scheme as a good poaching ground to catch these men.

because of  culture/societal issues with an instance that i know hence the example, which is of a typical london career chick,who hooks up with a nigerian based guy and goes back to nigeria,gets married to him and they later divorce comprende?still doesn't change the fact that there are other reasons other than your blanket generalisations.besides how did you come by your figure pls show us the qualitative and quantitative research you have done to arrive at this figure you so readily put up

if 9 out of every 10 nigerian men i speak to tell me they will easily jump ship if they can get a cushioned pad abroad, why won't i come up with a reasonable statistics? do i have to interview every man in nigeria before i can come up with my own statistics - or are you so blind to see what i am saying?

.no sir/ma you are the one mixing things up thereby confusing yourself, the basic premise is this,before the recession in uk,not a lot of grounded nigerian men with an average to blossoming career or business in nigeria will readily give all that up to start again in the united kingdom. with the advent of the recession and its attendant joblessness e.t.c even far less will abandon what they are doing in nigeria even to live here permanently.

what are they doing in nigeria? there are 40 million jobless youths in nigeria.
concentrate - 40 million unemployed! when was the last time you went to nigeria before coming up with your tales-by-moonlight of blossoming career and businesses. which business? yahoo-yahoo?

secondly the fact that the people you know will readily jump at such a chance does not necessarily mean others i know will do so so we both know different people,in different stations open to different opportunities in nigeria(note that we are not even talking about multi millionaires here)
a friend of one of my brothers who is presently married to a briton lives in the northwest,the girl has just given birth to their child and presently she has also gotten the guy a british passport more than 2 yrs now and the guy still lives in lagos but comes to see them regularly.he doesn't have a fantastic job,average yet as at this weekend he was still empathic that nothing will ever make him settle down in the uk, i know 2 other ppl who are my brothers contemporaries like this directly.he didn't bring him here to marry but he brought him here so he can stay here and possibly school/work here subject to him looking around spending time with different family members and experience life in the uk.after  a month in his own summation people in the uk apart from the social amenities and infrastructures went through much more stress than the averagely comfortable nigerian

yes - we can simply assume everyone you know(5 million approximate) married britons and simply refused to join them in the uk because they all have super-careers and mega businesses in nigeria. keep deceiving yourself with your mumbo-jumbo nonsense.

nigeria is superb and then this happened. . . . .http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/newsonthehour/2011/sept/24/newsbreak-24-09-2011-001.html

one man scammed 7,000 nigerian youths and took £200 from them each to process their visas.
majority of those 7,000 folks are professionals with "blossoming careers". i won't be surprised if few of your prosperous friends you keep mentioning in your epistle are there. you have got a lot to learn!

i agree,even i living in london with no immigration issues or an american or any guy will definitely step up to a fine chick the british passport does not necessarily mean that the kind of guys she is after will offer her marriage.dont forget she is not going to nigeria to marry a yahoo yahoo guy,conductor or a guy sleeping under the bridge she most probably want a guy with an education,career a title bit of money e.t.c

she's going to nigeria to find a spouse! career, age, size and educational background are secondary?
where will you easily find an uneducated nigerian in this day and age. virtually everyone there has a bachelors degree/hnd.

this is precisely where i have an issue with you,a street boy/man will jump at the offer,same way the bums we see on the street corner here will jump at an offer to do anything for 10 quid.however a nigerian man with the qualities listed above might not necessarily jump at the offer.
this is why i made the comment at first that you have a partial disconnect about present day nigeria, people are getting mortgages,car finance i.e brand new cars not tokunbo we use here

90% of the nigerian male population would jump at the offer. marrying a brit is different from student's visa.
in 2 years, it means he can have a permanent residence here, converts it to a british passport and travels as he pleases. what do you take nigerians for? the appeal of never having going to queue at the british high commission will force 90% to jump at the offer - a fact that simply evades you.

my ex gf works in one of the telecoms coy in abuja(M.T.N) as a call centre staff after she finished uni and post grad in london and aberdeen,she is on a basic starting salary and with benefits  she earns more (take home when converted to pounds) than a team supervisor doing same job in the uk.
she has a better quality of life than the manager of a call centre here in the uk and with a company loan she is able to get a brand new car which is deducted from her salary monthly not only this they are given bonuses every year and also offered household items for a fraction of the price like generators,washing machines e.t.c this is not all the benefits as they enjoy even twice more than i have listed here and any mtn staff can bear me witness.now pls compare this to where you workeither visiting or staying,the opportunities available in the country compared to where they r coming from will determine if they r staying or not if you raise the same argument  using america or canada i will have a different view based on my experience.

you are talking absolute rubbush.
your girl working as a call centre staff for mtn earns more than a team supervisor with the same job in the uk? you must think you are debating with a dolt. how much does he earn? 5 million per hour? then you pushed it off the edge by saying she enjoys better quality of life than the manager in the uk - you probably don't know the meaning of quality of life. a security officer in the uk makes more money than most bank managers in nigeria. you chose the wrong example - i will give you the opportunity to edit.

asides the infrastructures like light,security(which is not 100% fool proof) e.t.c when talking about opportunities and quality of life no sane man will knowingly give up their career or business because of a uk passport

you don't know the meaning of quality of life, so i cannot even respond to the gibberish you typed there.
i think frequent visits to the embassies or the airports in nigeria would tell you about the number of people who wants out - never mind copping a british passport. do you know how much nigerians cough out applying for visas everyday in that country? do you know how much nigerians pay per day for arranged marriages?

abeg, go and sip some coffee!

coogar:

you won't rise to verbal barbs but your psychic ability tells you only jobless people frequently travel to nigeria?
the mental faculty of an average nigerian worries me.

you made reference to comprehension a couple of times yet it seems you are most guilty of it, you inferred that you have been to nigeria more times than i have been in a decade.i didn't argue or be labour the point with you but stated that the nature of my job does not permit me to travel to nigeria as often as you do perhaps your business or whatever you do permits you do such.dont let your view of nigerians becloud your argument

coogar:

do the men leaving the uk from nigeria already have relationships in nigeria? you are talking about english comprehension and yet you are mixing apples and oranges. the nigerian men the op is talking about go to nigeria to find spouses and marry! new relationships, which is quite different from what you are saying here.

what normally happens cause i am making an assumption that you don't know, they don't fly 6 hrs and spend thousands of pounds based on a blind search all the way to nigeria most people would already have been conversing with the girl/lady on phone,chatting ,bb or whoever before making the move to travel down to nigeria.same goes for the woman as well and ppl meet their spouse either through social network,through family/friends recommendation e.t.c
would you travel all the way to nigeria on a blind search?

coogar:

most women don't have any relationship going in nigeria before leaving the uk. they just go there to try their luck via hook-ups or matchmaking by friends or relatives. some of them even aim the nysc scheme as a good poaching ground to catch these men.

didn't see this before the comment above,however your comment is actually contradictory on one hand you wrote that they don't have any relationship and on the other hand you made reference to hook ups or matchmaking isn't that a relationship?for you to spend £600 on a flight ticket and the attendant expenses to go see someone means you are ready to commit after discussions with each other

coogar:

if 9 out of every 10 nigerian men i speak to tell me they will easily jump ship if they can get a cushioned pad abroad,

I'm sorry but i find this very hard to believe,until you show me conclusive proof of the statistics.i simply will not agree with you that 90% of nigerian men will jump ship however i will grant you that you are probably referring to the nigerian men you have spoken to,not a generality.

coogar:

why won't i come up with a reasonable statistics? do i have to interview every man in nigeria before i can come up with my own statistics - or are you so blind to see what i am saying?

what you have stated above is by no means reasonable in every sense of the word,you have simply made a blanket assumption based on the nigerian men you know,the nigerian men i know will never jump ship so there.you don't have to interview every nigerian man but there is something called a control sample meaning the people you will interview have to represent all the categories of nigerian men before you can arrive at a reasoned opinion its not enough to for example interview 100 men under the bridge without getting a sample of 100 men who are educated,employed and advancing in their careers.
i ll ignore the last bit,like i mentioned before verbal barbs doesn't advance or help your debate/argument in any way in fact it removes from it

coogar:

what are they doing in nigeria? there are 40 million jobless youths in nigeria.
concentrate - 40 million unemployed! when was the last time you went to nigeria before coming up with your tales-by-moonlight of blossoming career and businesses. which business? yahoo-yahoo?

so there are no jobless men in the uk,in america,canada?? maybe you should go on google and check the present figures especially in america
i never said there won't be millions who will jump at the chance of getting married to a british girl/lady.but concerning this present discussion from my experience i stated the reasons why it doesn't happen as much with the women as with the men.
besides will you come all the way from the uk,with your passport,financial worth,educational e.t.c and marry a jobless or yahoo yahoo guy?
obviously the girl/lady coming from abroad has certain basic standards which must be met,she and whoever hooked her up would have made sure the guy in question fulfilled certain criteria this brings me back to the point i have been making.
the reason why the nigerian men can afford not to jump ship is because unlike the 40 million nigerians they are neither jobless nor short of the kind of ladies they want, pls ask people in nigeria about the ladies in nigeria who are looking for husbands they are accomplished ladies in every way academically,financially i know because i am a single guy and if i was a gold digger and didn't give a hoot about liking/loving even though i am resident in the uk i would have been married to a girl who was well to do academic,financially e.t.c

on your next visit to nigeria pls visit house on the rock in mason centre or the redeemed church in lekki amongst other churches and you will see nigerian girls who look as if they stepped out of a gq magazine or live abroad.

coogar:

yes - we can simply assume everyone you know(5 million approximate) married britons and simply refused to join them in the uk because they all have super-careers and mega businesses in nigeria. keep deceiving yourself with your mumbo-jumbo nonsense.

thank GOD you have finally agreed that blanket generalisation doesn't make any sense.the same way it doesn't make sense for me to conclude that every single briton who is of a female gender and single,nigerian will hook up with a nigerian guy and the guy will refuse to move here,the same way it doesn't make any sense to assume that because a girl is british then the promise of a british passport and living in the uk will be enough for a man to abandon his career friends/family way of live,standard of living

coogar:

nigeria is superb and then this happened. . . . .http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/newsonthehour/2011/sept/24/newsbreak-24-09-2011-001.html

no one is saying nigeria is a paradise or el dorado,same as the america the united kingdom nigeria has its own peculiarities however that still doesn't change the fact that career wise,business wise,even politically so many people who are not multi millionaires will rather stay back in nigeria than living in the uk.not everyone is prepared to trade security and infrastructure for the enclosed,restricted life the lack of opportunities and living like a second class citizen obtained in the uk

coogar:

one man scammed 7,000 nigerian youths and took £200 from them each to process their visas.
majority of those 7,000 folks are professionals with "blossoming careers". i won't be surprised if few of your prosperous friends you keep mentioning in your epistle are there. you have got a lot to learn!

looooooooool so people don't scam in the uk or us or canada
besides hope you realise the scam was for canada not the united kingdom?massive difference in opportunities,way of life e.t.c
in all sense of modesty,my friends are doing ok in their various careers the same way i have very comfortable ones who are not prepared to settle down here another friend who grew up in same area as me who is an ordinary driver although to a very rich man.he was working as a driver in air france and he had an opportunity to travel to europe but he rejected it he later resigned there to work with his present boss and he still has an opportunity to travel to the uk with his boss who is well known on the island(hence i won't mention his name)
and till tomorrow he told his boss he is not ready to travel now.this is a guy making only 50-70k monthly and maybe another 15k or so in tips he is not living a fantastic life compared to my other friends but the point of my pre amble is simply to show you irrespective of the standard of living in nigeria not everyone is fazed about living abroad especially uk

coogar:

she's going to nigeria to find a spouse! career, age, size and educational background are secondary?
where will you easily find an uneducated nigerian in this day and age. virtually everyone there has a bachelors degree/hnd.

for someone who has gone to nigeria more times than i have been in a decade,you surely are not well informed about the country what is the ration of graduates compared to illiterates in nigeria?
majority are still not educated,talk less of a decree i won't bang on bout this issue because i have addressed it above.

coogar:

90% of the nigerian male population would jump at the offer. marrying a brit is different from student's visa.
in 2 years, it means he can have a permanent residence here, converts it to a british passport and travels as he pleases. what do you take nigerians for? the appeal of never having going to queue at the british high commission will force 90% to jump at the offer - a fact that simply evades you.

you are probably the typical british/nigerian who has been in uk for more than 10/15 yrs or more,in fact you have the same views as one of my elder sisters who has been here since 1984.people like you are so enamoured and in awe of your british passport that you can't imagine any nigerian in that dirty insecure country not jumping at the chance to own a british passport. i have news for you slightly digressing from the main topic under discussion

most nigerians will choose america or canada over uk anyway anytime

while millions of nigerians will certainly jump at the chance,those millions will most probably be those without a career,a good job/business and no clear career prospects.
the days of people selling all and re locating abroad especially united kingdom is gone,no one does that anymore
ask friends and family you have in lagos what they call the average nigerian living in britain, they call us "I LL CALL YOU BACK"with derision

coogar:

you don't know the meaning of quality of life, so i cannot even respond to the gibberish you typed there.

i agree with you on this,because i am sure we both have vastly different definitions of quality of life I'm sure you enjoy the uk life compared to nigeria while some of us have a different view.

coogar:

i think frequent visits to the embassies or the airports in nigeria would tell you about the number of people who wants out - never mind copping a british passport. do you know how much nigerians cough out applying for visas everyday in that country? do you know how much nigerians pay per day for arranged marriages?

abeg, go and sip some coffee!

thanks but no I'm not a coffee drinker
you are still missing the point at no time did i ever infer that millions of nigerians don't want to travel out or to the uk or own a british passport.the point here is at what costs?
and what demographic of nigerian men?
even an armed robber weights the benefits that will accrue from an heist against the risks inherent and surrounding his target if its worth it for him he ll go for it,if not he ll abandon it and seek out an easier target.
the people you know might have nothing to lose if they travel out and get a british passport but i have met people who have the british passport now but have not recovered from their decision to sell all,put their career on hold and move to the uk
on a last note i hope you realise the fact that one has a british passport doesn't automatically make you a millionaire or automatically advance your career or business?
go round and see how many professionals are suffering in uk today

go and see how many former IT professionals are driving cabs due to an inability to get jobs and the need to pay their mortgage this is not hear say or something i read in the papers i know a couple of people in london surrey.

i know chartered accountants with acca,british who are searching for jobs
my immediate junior brother is a qualified architect and almost 2 years he has not been able to get a job even though he is british and is now looking towards nigeria
go and find out how many british professionals who are flocking to dubai,qua tar and the middle east generally to work

@coogar
sorry i forgot to reply the comment about my ex girlfriend's salaries and entitlements in MTN
first off all,like i said she is an ex and i wouldn't like to put out her business on a public forum without her approval as she might be reading this second first ask anyone who works in men what the salary package is.
second in case you didn't know MTN has the best package among telecom coys in nigeria recently

third a call centre staff in the uk earns like 650-800 monthly after tax,i know because i have worked in the 02 call centre before this you can go online and confirm now they ll pay their council tax out of this
they ll pay rent
they ll pay transport train or bus
feeding
lets assume the staff doesn't have any credit card or debit card bills
lets assume the staff doesn't go out clubbing
electricity and gas bills

pay tv license

now pls tell me what is remaining out of 800 pounds monthly,i intentionally didn't put a figure to the list so as to give you a chance to do so yourself now compare this to an men staff who makes between 100-120k basic salary monthly

they also have medical as standard just like the uk
they have an option of car loan like i mentioned before
mtn conduct car auctions selling the car way cheaper than what is obtained on the open market
they also give quarterly bonus or as at when due
they give every single staff a choice of an household item every year my ex gf last year got a generator the year before she chose a washing machine e.t.c

they don't pay council tax in nigeria
they don't pay for heating
they don't pay tv license
gas is a fraction of the price here and public transportation is also cheaper even though mtn has a staff bus which picks up the staffs and drops them off at designated areas

apart from this the spouse of an men staff and the children are automatically qualified to the free health scheme
now all i have mentioned are not the totality of the benefits,these are just the ones i re collect this is a public forum and i am throwing a public challenge to any MTN staff to contradict all that i have stated you can also call anyone who knows an men staff to confirm
SUPRISED? i was too didn't know nigeria was that good lol

God forbid!!
Go bck home to do wetin?
My mom is sneakingly suggesting it, that one na her headache sha. She go soon realize.

Bring a man here and you'd have to see to his emotional, financial, cultural wahala.
Better the ppl @ home marry the ones at home and the ones in diaspora marry the one in diaspora.
Nigerian men in Nigeria are more [size=18pt]bush[/size] than their bros over here.

Ahahahaha! Funny thread.

Ileke Idi gon kill me ooo

I think that inferiority complex is one of the reasons why they rush back home to get married.

Lol @ tĦis thread.

Back to the topic, I see no reason why any sane woman would go back to Nigeria to get a husband.
Besides, is iτ̅ even mandatory tĦat as a Nigerian lady, you MUST get married to a Nigerian guy?

Most ladies who troll tĦat path always end up with a bitter story to tell.