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Should I Forgive Her? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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How Do I Forgive Him? / Should I Forgive Her Or Not / Why Nigerian Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Woman (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should I Forgive Her? by SenecaTheYonger: 7:27am On Aug 14, 2023
She’s going to love you for ever bro. Just keep us updated after a year.

Temporaryacc:
I have a well-known acc by the way but needed to post with this with a new one due to the dark nature of my story. Don't want anyone judging me unnecessarily.

Everything I'm putting below is real and actually happened to me, regardless of how difficult it is to believe.


Will be a tad lengthy, but please bear with me.




My fiancé who's in her early 20s and I are settling down soon


Recently, I discovered that she slept with not one, but two persons in the first two months of our relationship which we've been in for a year.

She swears that she didn't know what came over her at the time. Until this discovery, there were more than enough indicators that she has been loyal to me. She doesn't do anything shady and has been a very supportive woman. I would naturally have trust issues with a girl with her beauty and killer body, but she's just trustworthy.


Now, she wants to swear in the traditional way that it was only those two and that it happened in the early days our relationship just so I can believe her. She also wants to take a oath for me to be assured that she's mine. I didn't bring any of this up; she did.


I told her I would think about it but lied to her that in my family, a girl must be cleansed when she cheats before the relationship can continue. I just came up with this to know the lengths she's willing to go to prove herself to me. She agreed without hesitation.

The cleansing, which I made up, involves eating bitter kola and receiving 11 heavy lashes on the back while she's naked. I was surprised she still wanted to go ahead with it. At this point, I couldn't even retract my words and come plain that's it's all a lie.

Four days ago that she visited, she had already bought the items herself — a very thick cane and bitter kola. I told her to strip naked and lie on the bed. I said some useless things into the kola and gave her to chew. The force with which each stroke landed on her back, I didn't know where they came from. I watched as she screamed and bawled while I her continually beat her. The last stroke was with all my might and she screamed the entire house down.

She cried into my arms after everything and begged me to forgive her. What I did doesn't make sense by the way, and I know it. Now she's ready to swear and also take an oath, but I don't want any of that. I actually trusted her before all these issues. And I don't even believe in swearing. I've forgiven her, but I feel guilty for what I did.


What do you guys suggest I do?

Update

So I see a lot of people are finding it difficult to believe this happened. I don't have to prove anything, but I'll attach screenshots of our conversations for context. Not everyone is jobless as some people here, you know. I only seeked advice.

To those screaming "physical abuse", I was still the one that helped massage her back after the entire thing as it had several, visible bruises due to her light skin. Don't condemn someone when you haven't walked a mile in their shoes.
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Amotolongbo(f): 7:35am On Aug 14, 2023
Temporaryacc:


Can you contribute anything meaningful without insults?

If you can't, it's not a must you remain on the thread
He who brought home an ants infested wood is definitely inviting lizards
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by mrblessed(m): 7:42am On Aug 14, 2023
I think you will make a good script writer
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Zigzagman: 8:09am On Aug 14, 2023
Greatest take I've heard on this issue of cheating in relationship.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAQBFAMKeA8

Men who actually have been cheated on. So accurate.
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Acidosis(m): 8:14am On Aug 14, 2023
You should be remanded in a mental health facility, and after three months, transferred to Panti Police Station.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by StPete: 8:21am On Aug 14, 2023
Ironically women love men who are harsh and decisive even though they fail to admit it. What you have done to her in her mind is like serious cleansing. Even though she still has that tendency to cheat in the future, she will forever be grateful for that flogging.

The average Nigerian woman fears and respects anything spiritual as it creates fear and clinging in them. Do yourself a favor by never ever revealing that it was all a lie cos if you do, she will find a way to pay you back a 100 times

2 Likes

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by pansophist(m): 9:29am On Aug 14, 2023
How will you even look at a woman after you've beaten her? How would you even be having sex with a body you've assaulted?

When God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, he did without hesitation, and when he was about to cut his throat, God told him to stop, that he has passed his test. You should have done the same.

She brought the kolanut and thick cane, got naked, lay flat for you to flog, at that point, you should have just stop. You're punishing a girl for loving you. You don't do that. Doesn't her screaming makes your blood boil?

You can punish a manipulative beech, a coded olosho masking as a wife material, but a girl that loves you? You went too far man. That's not good. You don't beat your wife. You don't want people to know her as someone her husband beats (assuming you guys get married).

Apologise to her, it may be hard, because it involves exposing your dark scheme, but salvation is not easy, it's hard. If you can't do it, then you're truly not sorry. Your ego is more important than doing the right thing.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Sweetvie: 10:01am On Aug 14, 2023
Wawuu
Eres muy estúpido
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by 1Sharon(f): 10:13am On Aug 14, 2023
What? grin
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Mustiboy(m): 10:38am On Aug 14, 2023
Omo cheesy

This one pass me o. Since you've forgiven her, why are you asking if you should forgive her again? Or you didn't mean it? You're a confused man


Where are the mods? RoyalRoy Mynd44

Front page please cheesy
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by kkins25(m): 10:41am On Aug 14, 2023
Bro, your punctuations are too good for me to believe this isn't fantasy😂..

If it's tru, You are really bleeped up in the head with that beating shit. No offense.
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Beverlyjean(f): 10:49am On Aug 14, 2023
Stop deceiving yourself....men dont ever forgive a cheating partner.... I will advice her to move on cos she will continue to suffer

1 Like

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Nobody: 12:19pm On Aug 14, 2023
pansophist:
How will you even look at a woman after you've beaten her? How would you even be having sex with a body you've assaulted?

When God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, he did without hesitation, and when he was about to cut his throat, God told him to stop, that he has passed his test. You should have done the same.

She brought the kolanut and thick cane, got naked, lay flat for you to flog, at that point, you should have just stop. You're punishing a girl for loving you. You don't do that. Doesn't her screaming makes your blood boil?

You can punish a manipulative beech, a coded olosho masking as a wife material, but a girl that loves you? You went too far man. That's not good. You don't beat your wife. You don't want people to know her as someone her husband beats (assuming you guys get married).

Apologise to her, it may be hard, because it involves exposing your dark scheme, but salvation is not easy, it's hard. If you can't do it, then you're truly not sorry. Your ego is more important than doing the right thing.

What should he do about cheating on him twice, continue with her or cut off the relationship? I'm not supporting his actions, it is barbaric but you sound like he should forgive her and continue. What would pansophist do if he finds himself in such situation?
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by emmaodet: 12:38pm On Aug 14, 2023
Acidosis:


You should be remanded in a mental health facility, and after three months, transferred to Panti Police Station.

grin grin grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Nobody: 12:42pm On Aug 14, 2023
SenecaTheYonger:
She’s going to love you for ever bro. Just keep us updated after a year.


You think?
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by SenecaTheYonger: 1:32pm On Aug 14, 2023
Temporaryacc:


You think?

Yes. Women respect masculinity, and that is in decline these days. Men have been feminzed and told not to lay their hands on their wives or gfs, even if they hit them.

1 Like

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by pansophist(m): 1:52pm On Aug 14, 2023
IconicR:
What should he do about cheating on him twice, continue with her or cut off the relationship? I'm not supporting his actions, it is barbaric but you sound like he should forgive her and continue. What would pansophist do if he finds himself in such situation?

Pansophist will do many things but not violence. I don't touch a woman physically, there is no virtue in beating someone that you are stronger than. No one respects a soldier for beating a tout, but when he kills a Boko haram commando, he gets recognition.

So what will I do? I will leave. It's simple. Will I forgive her? Of course yes. I don't need the burden of grudges, but forgiveness and acceptance are two different things.

Because I didn't cheat on her doesn't mean I can't, or my body is not tempting me, but it is because I hold her and our union to a high degree of sacredness, that accepting her is like building a house on sand.

4 Likes

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Nobody: 1:59pm On Aug 14, 2023
pansophist:


Pansophist will do many things but not violence. I don't touch a woman physically, there is no virtue in beating someone that you are stronger than. No one respects a soldier for beating a tout, but when he kills a Boko haram commando, he gets recognition.

So what will I do? I will leave. It's simple. Will I forgive her? Of course yes. I don't need the burden of grudges, but forgiveness and acceptance are two different things.

Because I didn't cheat on her doesn't mean I can't, or my body is not tempting me, but it is because I hold her and our union to a high degree of sacredness, that accepting her is like building a house on sand.
In this case the only forgiveness she knows is accepting her back which was why she followed all the instructions. The wisest thing for her to do is leave the relationship.
Even from your response it can be concluded that no man ever truly forgives cheating.
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by pansophist(m): 2:09pm On Aug 14, 2023
IconicR:
In this case the only forgiveness she knows is accepting her back which was why she followed all the instructions. The wisest thing for her to do is leave the relationship.
Even from your response it can be concluded that no man ever truly forgives cheating.

The same way no woman never truly forgive poverty smiley

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Nobody: 2:19pm On Aug 14, 2023
pansophist:


The same way no woman ever truly forgive poverty smiley
grin grin grin you are wicked.
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by pansophist(m): 2:29pm On Aug 14, 2023
IconicR:
grin grin grin you are wicked.

Na lie?

Poor men don't even have the privilege to be rejected because they are invisible to women in the first place. Women are disgusted by poor men.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Moshybear(f): 2:31pm On Aug 14, 2023
Yes you should
Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Nobody: 2:42pm On Aug 14, 2023
pansophist:


Na lie?

Poor men don't even have the privilege to be rejected because they are invisible to women in the first place. Women are disgusted by poor men.
Men are the ones who monitized relationships , they should take the first blame.
There are poor women for poor men to select from, it's not that hard. The only problem here is poor men desiring rich women 😂

2 Likes

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by torqque7(m): 3:06pm On Aug 14, 2023
Temporaryacc:


I don't beat women; what I did is nonsense, and I admitted it.


What I'm seeking advice for is how we can move on with the relationship


But I don't see how she's the victim like you claimed; madam, she cheated on me the early days of our relationship

Don’t waste your time replying useless comments, they will NEVER see the girls wrong only yours lol that’s why they end up as bitter old single mothers coming to pour their frustrations on NL.As for you sha my advice is once a cheat,always a cheat but your girl cheated twice..damn use your brain

3 Likes

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Atolu01: 4:29pm On Aug 14, 2023
You are not OK. Useless sadistic gender.

1 Like

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Ajibade123(m): 5:17pm On Aug 14, 2023
Amotolongbo:
Only god knows who is more foolish between you and the girl if the nonsense you put up there is real
Honestly the story just have to be made up or why would 2 adults be simultaneously stupid like that

1 Like

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Deebami: 5:19pm On Aug 14, 2023
LilMissFavvy:
What you did to that lady is domestic violence. She is supposed to speak to her parents so that they can encourage her to quit the relationship asap. She is blindly in love and doesn't know she can dump you and will always get a better man. She is the one who needs advice, not you.
You are on point, real men don't beat their women no matter what. There are better ways of settling matters of this nature, from the look of things, she may end up regretting marrying him 'cos at the slightest provocation, she may be punished. It is no longer a relationship between two lovers, but between the master and the house maid.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by UnfairLife7(m): 6:40pm On Aug 14, 2023
That lady suppose report you to her parents or her elder brother. You need to be arrested

2 Likes

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by DenreleDave(m): 7:03pm On Aug 14, 2023
Temporaryacc:
I have a well-known acc by the way but needed to post with this with a new one due to the dark nature of my story. Don't want anyone judging me unnecessarily.

Everything I'm putting below is real and actually happened to me, regardless of how difficult it is to believe.


Will be a tad lengthy, but please bear with me.




My fiancé who's in her early 20s and I are settling down soon


Recently, I discovered that she slept with not one, but two persons in the first two months of our relationship which we've been in for a year.

She swears that she didn't know what came over her at the time. Until this discovery, there were more than enough indicators that she has been loyal to me. She doesn't do anything shady and has been a very supportive woman. I would naturally have trust issues with a girl with her beauty and killer body, but she's just trustworthy.


Now, she wants to swear in the traditional way that it was only those two and that it happened in the early days our relationship just so I can believe her. She also wants to take a oath for me to be assured that she's mine. I didn't bring any of this up; she did.


I told her I would think about it but lied to her that in my family, a girl must be cleansed when she cheats before the relationship can continue. I just came up with this to know the lengths she's willing to go to prove herself to me. She agreed without hesitation.

The cleansing, which I made up, involves eating bitter kola and receiving 11 heavy lashes on the back while she's naked. I was surprised she still wanted to go ahead with it. At this point, I couldn't even retract my words and come plain that's it's all a lie.

Four days ago that she visited, she had already bought the items herself — a very thick cane and bitter kola. I told her to strip naked and lie on the bed. I said some useless things into the kola and gave her to chew. The force with which each stroke landed on her back, I didn't know where they came from. I watched as she screamed and bawled while I her continually beat her. The last stroke was with all my might and she screamed the entire house down.

She cried into my arms after everything and begged me to forgive her. What I did doesn't make sense by the way, and I know it. Now she's ready to swear and also take an oath, but I don't want any of that. I actually trusted her before all these issues. And I don't even believe in swearing. I've forgiven her, but I feel guilty for what I did.


What do you guys suggest I do?

Update

So I see a lot of people are finding it difficult to believe this happened. I don't have to prove anything, but I'll attach screenshots of our conversations for context. Not everyone is jobless as some people here, you know. I only seeked advice.

To those screaming "physical abuse", I was still the one that helped massage her back after the entire thing as it had several, visible bruises due to her light skin. Don't condemn someone when you haven't walked a mile in their shoes.


So u laid her down and beat her with cane..

You are evil man...... A evil man....

Divoc come and see oo..... There is notin we will. Not see in this life

1 Like

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by DenreleDave(m): 7:05pm On Aug 14, 2023
Temporaryacc:


I don't beat women; what I did is nonsense, and I admitted it.


What I'm seeking advice for is how we can move on with the relationship


But I don't see how she's the victim like you claimed; madam, she cheated on me the early days of our relationship


Are you m****d?

And you beat her.. And u were comfortable beating her...

So after the beating, have u forgotten totally abt she sleeping with guys, doing doggy, riding those guys, sucking their d***ks

1 Like

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by marsup: 7:39pm On Aug 14, 2023
What you did was wrong and petty.

1 Like

Re: Should I Forgive Her? by Karleb(m): 9:34pm On Aug 14, 2023
If you no marry this girl, na who go jam her I dey pity.

1 Like

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