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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients (11168 Views)
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Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 3:57pm On Oct 17, 2011 |
Let's begin with this: A plane was carrying mental patients who were making lot of noise, one patient pops into the cockpit and orders the pilots to teach him to fly a plane. PILOT: yes we will but on a condition that u tell your friends to keep quiet, off he goes and after a short while everywhere became quiet And he came back, "teach me now" he said, amazed the pilots asked "but how did u manage to silence your friends?" PATIENT: I've opened the door for them to go and play out side. |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by ARareGem(f): 3:59pm On Oct 17, 2011 |
Oh my word! Refeshingly funny. |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Dyt(f): 4:02pm On Oct 17, 2011 |
lolest |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Nobody: 4:44pm On Oct 17, 2011 |
double wahala lolz |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by mikuz(m): 5:18pm On Oct 17, 2011 |
Passing an exam Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump. The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms. Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs. The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump."Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor. To which the third patient answered,"Well Doc, I can't swim!" |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ajibel(m): 8:25pm On Oct 17, 2011 |
*Laffing in swahili* |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by bingbagbo(m): 9:07pm On Oct 17, 2011 |
Hei! so all these people na madd men? |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by StudioCFR(m): 11:38pm On Oct 17, 2011 |
Exits Thread |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ajibel(m): 4:03am On Oct 18, 2011 |
^^^*throws corn on him* |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 7:03pm On Oct 18, 2011 |
mikuz: Seen this. . .but still funny. |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by EfemenaXY: 7:14pm On Oct 18, 2011 |
cool jokes - me likey! |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 10:21am On Oct 20, 2011 |
Let's digress, Wife was sure that her husband was having sex with the maid so she laid a trap. One evening, she sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t tell her husband. That night when they. . . went to bed, the husband gave the old story, "excuse me dear, my stomach is aching" and went to the bathroom. The wife promptly went into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. He came in silently; he wasted no time on words but quickly started having sex. When he finished wife said, "you didn't expect me in this bed, did you?" and switched on the light. "No Madam", said the gate man! ℓ☺ℓ . . . MORAL:- Sometimes being too smart can get you screwed . . . 1 Like |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by ARareGem(f): 7:04pm On Oct 20, 2011 |
Word! |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by tjtough: 1:29pm On Oct 22, 2011 |
Ben-10: very funny!!!! what a lucky gateman |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 10:07am On Oct 27, 2011 |
Still digressing. A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father,I have 2 female talking parrots, but they only knw how to say one thing; ‘Hi, we are harlots. Want to have some fun?’” “That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “I have a solution to your problem.Bring your 2 female parrots over to my house and I wil put them with my 2 male talkn parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship.” “Thank you!” the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His 2 male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her 2 female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say “Hi we are harlots, want to have some fun?” One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered! 1 Like |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 5:02pm On Nov 01, 2011 |
tjtough: hehe. . . |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Dyt(f): 5:14pm On Nov 01, 2011 |
giggles |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 6:33pm On Nov 04, 2011 |
SOMETIMES NOT TOO LONG AGO,SOME 17 NATIONS WOKEUP AND SAY DEY WANT ONE SINGLE CURRENCY,,,I WARNED THEM, BUT NOW GREECE IS FUCKING THEM UP BADLY,,,THIS IS A MARRIEGE THAT IS SO BAD ,,IT'S LIKE URGY WITH 17 PEOPLE DOING IT AT SAME TIME ,,,NOW GREECE IS PREGNANT AND ITALY AND SPAIN ARE NOT TAKING THEIR PILLS ,,,,DIS DIVORCE WILL BE SO SO BLOODY , ANYONE WITH FORESIGHT SHOULD TAKE COVER FOR SPILLAGE OF BLOOD !!! |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by oderemo(m): 6:51pm On Nov 04, 2011 |
All these jokes would have been very funny if the font had not been green. Layghing my a.zz off rolling on the fulooo. Yeah right. Next pls. |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 7:00pm On Nov 09, 2011 |
Ever noticed that when u think u are alone and decide 2 fart, sum1 always shows up after u let one rip? So whenever u are lonely and need company, just fart. . . ok? |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by kemmeye: 12:35am On Nov 10, 2011 |
your jokes are really funny lol Ben-10: |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 6:47pm On Nov 28, 2011 |
An Urhobo man invited his friends for his father's burial, after lowering the coffin, they put yam, rice, meat etc, into the grave. An Hausa man asked why? The Urhobo man smiled & said, ''According to our tradition, the dead man is going on a long journey & need all the food items. The Hausa man dropped £500 inside, and said ''When the food finish, buy more''. The Yoruba man also dropped £500. The Igbo man brought out his cheque book & wrote a cheque of £1500 & took the £1000 notes as change. |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 6:49pm On Nov 28, 2011 |
A man went 2 visit his in-laws 4 d 1st time. At d dinner table he felt like passin gas. Afta holdin it for a while, he could no longer bear it then he quietly released d bomb. D mother in law screamed at d family dog lying behind d man's chair " Bingo get out of here now! D man seein a ready scapegoat released another bomb & d mother in law again screamed at d poor dog. Afta d 3rd bomb was released, d woman told d poor dog "stay there until dem shit for your head". . . 2 Likes |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by BCuZiMBlaCk(m): 10:18pm On Nov 28, 2011 |
U try sha |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 6:28pm On Dec 12, 2011 |
Copied. . An illiterate WARRI man travelled abroad. He entered a Restaurant and wanted to order chicken but he couldn't remember what chicken is called in English. Luckily for him, he sees another man on the next table with 4 eggs on his plate, happily he calls out to the waiter and points at the eggs on the mans plate, "Abeg . . .i want their mama! |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 6:30pm On Dec 12, 2011 |
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.' The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.' The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half.' The guy left. The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.' A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?' Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said,'Your house!' With ur wife. 1 Like |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 9:47am On Dec 21, 2011 |
Girlfriend: i cheated, Boyfriend: do u think i luv u? I was also cheating on you for the past 2yrs, u are just for fun. . Girlfriend: cried & said *i was talking about my exams! 1 Like |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 10:21am On Dec 21, 2011 |
Dame Patience is at it again: " I hereby sympathize with the late family members of Ojukwu" |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 10:53am On Dec 21, 2011 |
Christmas greetings from Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon: Wishing all my fidus Achates a splendiferous Yuletide whilst committing you into the beneficent bosom of the Great Geometrician of the Universe for a cornucopia of Cosmic blessings in the ensuing year! |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by ARareGem(f): 11:06am On Dec 21, 2011 |
Wish you the same Ben Tennyson. |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 11:06am On Dec 21, 2011 |
She went to condole Ojukwu family " Ojukwu is a great man, he died but his manhood lives on". |
Re: Kindly Drop A Joke On Mental Patients by Ben13: 11:07am On Dec 21, 2011 |
ARareGem: Awww. . . Thanks switz! |
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