sylve11:


Sensible comment.

@op, check this comment out.

Most first born are like that.

Talking from Nigeria, I may agre most younger siblings though not all are doing pretty well than their elder brothers but i won't agree to what you said claiming most elder brothers constitute nuisance because their younger siblings are doing better than them. If what you said was right, then most families would be having crisis like OP. Think about that

this is clearly a case of mental health problem. attempt to find a psychologist or psychiatrist first to diagnose what the problem is and if thier can be any solution before you involve the police.

Sirchiboy:
...
I have a brother like that before.
Now he is doing fine.
Don't blame your brother.
Your brother is mentally and emotionally traumatised.
Police torture won't solve it..
I believe your brother is a cultist, who smoke and do drug.
Your brother is a potential great man...
Let him learn handwork or if you have money send him out of the country

Send him out of the country to go and become a nuisance in another country?

The first thing I noticed is una no allow this guy grow up at all. Doing everything for him won’t make him become responsible faster. Una help contribute to this matter

Tetrisbiz:
Forunately my sister's husband found out what was going on and rejected my brother's request for the female workers to be sacked. This started a war between my elder brother and my sister and her husband.

My elder brother eventually left that company (note he wasn't fired he LEFT by himself) and went back to the village. When my father heard this he almost collapsed as he knew the trouble that was coming his way.

Since he returned to the village he started assaulting my parents and I had to send money (about 400,000) back to Nigeria for him to rent a flat just so he could leave my parents alone. My brother stayed in that apartment for 3 months then started fighting his landlord and then told his landlord he couldn't stay for the year and demanded some part of his rent back,he took his rent, returned to the village and picked up from where he left by fighting my father ( a very old man). Its so bad that my father sometimes leaves the house (The house that he built as a family house) and stays outside for hours before returning home.
Please do we have restraining order laws in Nigeria and is there a particular police division in the Nigerian police or legal system that can be used to address an issue such as this?
I'm tired and I'm considering taking a drastic and extremely aggressive decision to resolve this situation once and for all.

Restraining order? He should be in jail serving a long sentence but for some reason he is not. Go back to your sister's husband's factory, find all those women who he sexually assaulted and have them make a case against him. Hopefully,if you lot did to do due diligence to destroy evidence, na there police fit come bamboozle am go prison where he ought to remain until he grows up.

The way Nigeria is, restraining order won't hold him back from tormenting those he wishes to torment. Prison for the actual crime he committed though will.

Matrix137:
■ I think he needs deliverance Take him to Mountain of fire. Or connect to Pastor Jerry Eze every morning on NSPPD. What God cannot do doesn't existYou'll surely come back with a testimony Goodluck

Get away!

fyzaila:
■ Kai this is serious. He needs serious prayer and deliverance. I know and use to hear of families where the first born, most likely males turn out to be useless and liability to the family. But, op this your own is useless and a pain in the family. I just pity your old popsy hope he won't get high bp like this.

Please take restraining action. A troublesome adult is worst than a troublesome kid.

So you will have his old mother spending her life praying because she be the only one wey born pikin for this life, while your pity only extends to the pops who probably had a hand in him growing up conceited? You people are wicked.

FalseProphet1:
This is a serious matter. Send me a DM and he would be fine.

This I have seen.

That guy is suffering from Mpulumiri addition.

They should donate him to UGM or biabia fighters before he murder the parents.

Sirchiboy:
...
I have a brother like that before.
Now he is doing fine.
Don't blame your brother.
Your brother is mentally and emotionally traumatised.
Police torture won't solve it..
I believe your brother is a cultist, who smoke and do drug.
Your brother is a potential great man...
Let him learn handwork or if you have money send him out of the country

Send him out of the country to be a nuisance, those ones don't Kuku tolerate nonsense there.

@OP, does he take drugs and alcohol? Have you people actually sat down with him to ask him what the problem is??

Your family will have to handle him with iron hand, this is why the Bible and Yoruba will say, train your child so you can have peace.

Kemadealadire:

Send him out of the country to be a nuisance, those ones don't Kuku tolerate nonsense there.

@OP, does he take drugs and alcohol? Have you people actually sat down with him to ask him what the problem is??

Your family will have to handle him with iron hand, this is why the Bible and Yoruba will say, train your child so you can have peace.

..
Before I counter you.
Are you married?

Obierika:


Send him out of the country to go and become a nuisance in another country?

..
He will adjust OK.
I had a brother like that before.
Using the police will make the matter worse.
No amount of torture will change him.
There is a proverbial saying that if you go to America behave like an American.

Not joking. He has a medical psychiatry issue.

Tetrisbiz:
I never wanted to do this and this is a very embarrassing situation but I need help from nairaland users.

I have an older brother in his early 40s. Since I was a child till this very moment, this person has been a torn on the flesh of my parents and the family in general.

Sometime in 2020, with the help of my elder sister's husband ( the HR) we were able to find a job for him as a supervisor in a factory and then I and my immediate elder brother (another sibling of mine) contributed money and rented an apartment for him in Lagos and then bought some property to furnish the apartment. To our surprise, my elder brother starting forcing his sexual advances on junior female workers and if any of these girls reject his advances he would start threatening the girls that he would get them fired with the help of the HR (My sister's husband). Forunately my sister's husband found out what was going on and rejected my brother's request for the female workers to be sacked. This started a war between my elder brother and my sister and her husband.

My elder brother eventually left that company (note he wasn't fired he LEFT by himself) and went back to the village. When my father heard this he almost collapsed as he knew the trouble that was coming his way.

Since he returned to the village he started assaulting my parents and I had to send money (about 400,000) back to Nigeria for him to rent a flat just so he could leave my parents alone. My brother stayed in that apartment for 3 months then started fighting his landlord and then told his landlord he couldn't stay for the year and demanded some part of his rent back,he took his rent, returned to the village and picked up from where he left by fighting my father ( a very old man). Its so bad that my father sometimes leaves the house (The house that he built as a family house) and stays outside for hours before returning home.

Please do we have restraining order laws in Nigeria and is there a particular police division in the Nigerian police or legal system that can be used to address an issue such as this?

I'm tired and I'm considering taking a drastic and extremely aggressive decision to resolve this situation once and for all.

my brother. Pls leave the house in the village for him. He sees that house as his own or perhaps his last hope because he don't have plans to build his own house. He spent money extravagantly and he has mental disorder. He probably an hyperactive person and stubborn one as well.


Here is my advice. Rent an apartment for your parent in another location unknown to him
Your parent or anyone must not disclose the location to him.

From then henceforth he must look for a job and fed himself. Stop sending him money for food.

I will only advice you send money to someone you can trust that will accompany him to the nearest psychiatric hospital in the city for medical evaluation. He need some sort injection or recommend drugs that he will have to be taking according to the doctor prescription.

Tetrisbiz:
I never wanted to do this and this is a very embarrassing situation but I need help from nairaland users.

I have an older brother in his early 40s. Since I was a child till this very moment, this person has been a torn on the flesh of my parents and the family in general.

Sometime in 2020, with the help of my elder sister's husband ( the HR) we were able to find a job for him as a supervisor in a factory and then I and my immediate elder brother (another sibling of mine) contributed money and rented an apartment for him in Lagos and then bought some property to furnish the apartment. To our surprise, my elder brother starting forcing his sexual advances on junior female workers and if any of these girls reject his advances he would start threatening the girls that he would get them fired with the help of the HR (My sister's husband). Forunately my sister's husband found out what was going on and rejected my brother's request for the female workers to be sacked. This started a war between my elder brother and my sister and her husband.

My elder brother eventually left that company (note he wasn't fired he LEFT by himself) and went back to the village. When my father heard this he almost collapsed as he knew the trouble that was coming his way.

Since he returned to the village he started assaulting my parents and I had to send money (about 400,000) back to Nigeria for him to rent a flat just so he could leave my parents alone. My brother stayed in that apartment for 3 months then started fighting his landlord and then told his landlord he couldn't stay for the year and demanded some part of his rent back,he took his rent, returned to the village and picked up from where he left by fighting my father ( a very old man). Its so bad that my father sometimes leaves the house (The house that he built as a family house) and stays outside for hours before returning home.

Please do we have restraining order laws in Nigeria and is there a particular police division in the Nigerian police or legal system that can be used to address an issue such as this?

I'm tired and I'm considering taking a drastic and extremely aggressive decision to resolve this situation once and for all.

Hope his plan is not to quicken your dad's demise so he could get the inheritance.... just thinking aloud

Kobojunkie:
Restraining order? He should be in jail serving a long sentence but for some reason he is not. Go back to your sister's husband's factory, find all those women who he sexually assaulted and have them make a case against him. Hopefully,if you lot did to do due diligence to destroy evidence, na there police fit come bamboozle am go prison where he ought to remain until he grows up.

The way Nigeria is, restraining order won't hold him back from tormenting those he wishes to torment. Prison for the actual crime he committed though will.

😂 that person is not mentally balance. What do you think will happen in court?
Besides this is family matter o. The way una dey take sometimes dey always amaze me

Get him arrested, prosecuted and secure a restraining order against him.


If he goes to jail for years before he returns change so many things that he can trace your parents with

Kobojunkie:
So you will have his old mother spending her life praying because she be the only one wey born pikin for this life, while your pity only extends to the pops who probably had a hand in him growing up conceited? You people are wicked.

Please point out where op mentioned his mother particularly. I made reference to his father because he only mentioned his father. Mind your words pls, and stick to the post and what is mentioned in it. How did you know his popsy had a hand in him growing up conceited? How did you come to that conclusion? Did op mentioned that?

If you don't have any reasonable contributions to make on a post, just waka pass.

talented321:
With my loud...
I once has a friend who when he wanted to die fight almost everyday..
Village people dey use ur brother head dance azonto in their temple...
Drastic measure' then involve the police na, and from my observation if u treat that guy carelessly and looseguard, somebody will go down in that family because he is desperate to die and will go down with anybody..

One day, this your loud go silence you.

SeriouslySense:
That's so annoying, i dont really know how to approach that stubbornness.

Your parents deserve peace.

I know its expensive, it would have been better, if your parents stay in a place, he does not know about.

for me this is the best solution,I have seen such toxic people and ltaking drastic action will only fuel his rage and make him unpredictable which is not what you want with someone's that comes in close range of your elderly parents,just make arrangements and take your parents away

Matrix137:
I think he needs deliverance

Take him to Mountain of fire. Or connect to Pastor Jerry Eze every morning on NSPPD.

What God cannot do doesn't exist

You'll surely come back with a testimony

Goodluck

No amount of deliverance can help him. Why didnt these pastors deliver us from Naira note scarcity, fuel scarcity, covid19?

MrAgbako:
😂 that person is not mentally balance. What do you think will happen in court?
Besides this is family matter o. The way una dey take sometimes dey always amaze me

There is nothing "family" about crime.

Your brother is not ok, at his age he's not responsible then I doubt he will ever be unless he's saved by God himself , apart from deliverance which is obvious he needs, pay a police officer to monitor him and to lock him up anytime he touches the old man, maybe that will calm him down. But if care is taken the same police may get tired of him and kill him,.

Inyaky:
Your brother is not ok, at his age he's not responsible then I doubt he will ever be unless he's saved by God himself , apart from deliverance which is obvious he needs, pay a police officer to monitor him and to lock him up anytime he touches the old man, maybe that will calm him down. But if care is taken the same police may get tired of him and kill him,.

So you are saying they should bribe police to monitor this man and lock him up? This as you claim he needs God to save Him?

Tetrisbiz:
I never wanted to do this and this is a very embarrassing situation but I need help from nairaland users.

I have an older brother in his early 40s. Since I was a child till this very moment, this person has been a torn on the flesh of my parents and the family in general.

Sometime in 2020, with the help of my elder sister's husband ( the HR) we were able to find a job for him as a supervisor in a factory and then I and my immediate elder brother (another sibling of mine) contributed money and rented an apartment for him in Lagos and then bought some property to furnish the apartment. To our surprise, my elder brother starting forcing his sexual advances on junior female workers and if any of these girls reject his advances he would start threatening the girls that he would get them fired with the help of the HR (My sister's husband). Forunately my sister's husband found out what was going on and rejected my brother's request for the female workers to be sacked. This started a war between my elder brother and my sister and her husband.

My elder brother eventually left that company (note he wasn't fired he LEFT by himself) and went back to the village. When my father heard this he almost collapsed as he knew the trouble that was coming his way.

Since he returned to the village he started assaulting my parents and I had to send money (about 400,000) back to Nigeria for him to rent a flat just so he could leave my parents alone. My brother stayed in that apartment for 3 months then started fighting his landlord and then told his landlord he couldn't stay for the year and demanded some part of his rent back,he took his rent, returned to the village and picked up from where he left by fighting my father ( a very old man). Its so bad that my father sometimes leaves the house (The house that he built as a family house) and stays outside for hours before returning home.

Please do we have restraining order laws in Nigeria and is there a particular police division in the Nigerian police or legal system that can be used to address an issue such as this?

I'm tired and I'm considering taking a drastic and extremely aggressive decision to resolve this situation once and for all.

If there's money, you guys should cajole him into traveling outside the country maybe any of these cheap European country so he can go far away from home. Make him go there make SAPA reset him brain.

Tetrisbiz:
I never wanted to do this and this is a very embarrassing situation but I need help from nairaland users.

I have an older brother in his early 40s. Since I was a child till this very moment, this person has been a torn on the flesh of my parents and the family in general.

Sometime in 2020, with the help of my elder sister's husband ( the HR) we were able to find a job for him as a supervisor in a factory and then I and my immediate elder brother (another sibling of mine) contributed money and rented an apartment for him in Lagos and then bought some property to furnish the apartment. To our surprise, my elder brother starting forcing his sexual advances on junior female workers and if any of these girls reject his advances he would start threatening the girls that he would get them fired with the help of the HR (My sister's husband). Forunately my sister's husband found out what was going on and rejected my brother's request for the female workers to be sacked. This started a war between my elder brother and my sister and her husband.

My elder brother eventually left that company (note he wasn't fired he LEFT by himself) and went back to the village. When my father heard this he almost collapsed as he knew the trouble that was coming his way.

Since he returned to the village he started assaulting my parents and I had to send money (about 400,000) back to Nigeria for him to rent a flat just so he could leave my parents alone. My brother stayed in that apartment for 3 months then started fighting his landlord and then told his landlord he couldn't stay for the year and demanded some part of his rent back,he took his rent, returned to the village and picked up from where he left by fighting my father ( a very old man). Its so bad that my father sometimes leaves the house (The house that he built as a family house) and stays outside for hours before returning home.

Please do we have restraining order laws in Nigeria and is there a particular police division in the Nigerian police or legal system that can be used to address an issue such as this?

I'm tired and I'm considering taking a drastic and extremely aggressive decision to resolve this situation once and for all.

I believe he is also irredeemably trapped in Indian hemp smoking, womanising, alcohol and gambling.

Unfortunately, the only soothing words I can offer is that you are not alone in this frustration. I'm also still searching for a solution.

However, you need to find a way to take your parents away from him. God forbid, but if this continues, his troubles will reduce their lifespan and quality of life.

They should find somewhere to be going for a long stretch from time to time. The only negative side of this is that he'll sell the family house on one of those times they are not around, except if you have other strong members of the house living there.

You'll always find someone like him in every family, why? Black sheep. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about this way of life.

Evergreen4:
If there's money, you guys should cajole him into traveling outside the country maybe any of these cheap European country so he can go far away from home. Make him go there make SAPA reset him brain.

You mean prison?

grafixdon:
You'll always find someone like him in every family, why? Black sheep. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about this way of life.

We don't have any of that in my family though.

Matrix137:
I think he needs deliverance

Take him to Mountain of fire. Or connect to Pastor Jerry Eze every morning on NSPPD.

What God cannot do doesn't exist

You'll surely come back with a testimony

Goodluck

Una need to stop this blaming religion for things that can be solved with human sense.

That money they are wasting on him they should us it to hire security for the house or use it to settle the village vigilantee to keep him away from the family house

True life story, similar to your case.

My maternal uncle was deported from America in 2002. His sisters got a flat for him in another part of Lagos. Before you knew it, uncle started growing,(not grooming o) beards and bushy hair. He looked so tattered and unkempt, refusing all entreaties to shave and be clean. He became an embarrassment to the family. For almost two years,this persisted. He would not work,but come and see how was threatening and insulting his sisters, demanding for money., blowing his American accent .
My mom gave a suggestion. She asked my aunts to go to the nearby police station, explain their predicament to them and see what they will do.
My aunty did that. She greased their palms though.
Na im for one early morning like that, police come surround the compound. The landlord was pre-informed though. Because my uncle had a looooong beard,the police arrested him,on the allegation that he was a terrorist, another Osama bin laden.
Before my uncle knew what was happening, they bundled him inside the Hilux van and took him to the station. Now,e don clear uncle for eye say this place na Naija,no be USA. Police asked him to write a statement indicating that he was a terrorist in the area, a Naija version of Osama. He would be charged to court!
Na im my uncle begged and begged. He was given his phone to call his next of kins in Lagos as a proof he was not a terrorist. My uncle sharparly called his sisters who drove down to the station, pretending heavily.
There and then he signed an undertaking to shave his long beard, cut his hair and pick a job. He was asked to be reporting to the Station every Saturday for 3 months.
Na so my Uncle changed looks and became a gentleman 🤣🤣

So, for una case, police fit help una. Dem no go beat am o,but the 'allegation' wey dem go drop for im head go make him repent, like my uncle.

Tetrisbiz:
I never wanted to do this and this is a very embarrassing situation but I need help from nairaland users.

I have an older brother in his early 40s. Since I was a child till this very moment, this person has been a torn on the flesh of my parents and the family in general.

Sometime in 2020, with the help of my elder sister's husband ( the HR) we were able to find a job for him as a supervisor in a factory and then I and my immediate elder brother (another sibling of mine) contributed money and rented an apartment for him in Lagos and then bought some property to furnish the apartment. To our surprise, my elder brother starting forcing his sexual advances on junior female workers and if any of these girls reject his advances he would start threatening the girls that he would get them fired with the help of the HR (My sister's husband). Forunately my sister's husband found out what was going on and rejected my brother's request for the female workers to be sacked. This started a war between my elder brother and my sister and her husband.

My elder brother eventually left that company (note he wasn't fired he LEFT by himself) and went back to the village. When my father heard this he almost collapsed as he knew the trouble that was coming his way.

Since he returned to the village he started assaulting my parents and I had to send money (about 400,000) back to Nigeria for him to rent a flat just so he could leave my parents alone. My brother stayed in that apartment for 3 months then started fighting his landlord and then told his landlord he couldn't stay for the year and demanded some part of his rent back,he took his rent, returned to the village and picked up from where he left by fighting my father ( a very old man). Its so bad that my father sometimes leaves the house (The house that he built as a family house) and stays outside for hours before returning home.

Please do we have restraining order laws in Nigeria and is there a particular police division in the Nigerian police or legal system that can be used to address an issue such as this?

I'm tired and I'm considering taking a drastic and extremely aggressive decision to resolve this situation once and for all.

Put him in jail for a week, it will humble him

Kobojunkie:
We don't have any of that in my family though.

Check very well