DIVINE GUIDELINES AND GUIDANCE IN COURTSHIP/MARRIAGE

1.DIVINE PLANS AND INTEREST IN MARRIAGE

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Gen 2:18
God bless them (the two) in the beginning after he made man and woman (Gen. 1:28). God saw that only man existence without woman was an inbalance creation. He condemned and corrected the initial design of a single man. He has to work to perfect this defect in the initial design of man by creating woman and hence marriage.
God brought in woman into man’s life for companionship, partnership and procreation. This perfect arrangement ensured that the humanity existence is balanced and sustained auto-mode reproductively. Apart from the physical gains, there is a spiritual side to this. God want godly marriages and homes that will raise godly seed for him. Mal.2:15
2. DIVINE INVOLVEMENT IN CHOICES OF MARRIAGE PARTNER
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. Gen. 1:22
God made Eve brought her to Adam, Adam did not design Eve, he only discovered her. The manner of her presentation to Adam showed she has been built and wired to support him which Adam recognized and appreciated.
Abraham carefully and intentionally instructed his servant to choose wife for his son among his kinsmen (Gen 24:7).
Also Isaac and Rebecca also supported Jacob in going to his relative Laban to get wife there (Gen 28:1,2)
God also instructed the children of Israel to always to choose from among their people in marriage.

3. ESSENCE OF GOOD DIVINE CONNECTIVITY FOR GOOD MARRIAGE
And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. Luke 1:28
But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. Matt 1:20
In the accounts of Mary angelic encounters which implies her good connectivity to God concerning the pregnancy of messiah we must note that these encounters are personal. They are not based on what prophets said alone, talk less of what pastor and parents are saying. The prophets and pastors roles as spiritual oversight is important but personal divine connectivity to heavenly signals is most paramount in issue of marriage. Also counselling from their sound believers especially the elderly is good – but the direct counsel of the Holy spirit is superior to all.
It was not only Mary that had divine encounters in her family life.
Joseph also had personal encounters with God which made him to make informed and sound decisions
concerning marriage.
Spiritually connectivity to God must be left alone to one party in the relationship, both parties must take good efforts to develop themselves in spiritually.
Having personal encounters with God by individuals make convictions strong, build faith, bring blessings and helps to weather any negative circumstances triumphantly.
Courtship period is a time when the three-fold cord of man, woman and God needs to be proper formed which cannot easily broken later in the marriage. Eccl 4:12
4. SINCERE SELF APPRAISAL AND DIVINE APPROVAL –
But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. Matt 1:20
Relationship involves two people of different backgrounds and perspective of life. Most times it takes time to understand other person fully, accommodate other feelings and opinions about certain things even though they are both believers. There must be careful and deep personal examination beyond immediate circumstances of riches or beauty of each other. Compatibility to each other abilities, beliefs, character traits, and so on. This critical thinking must be sincere and personal, it is not based on what friend, parent or pastor is saying, not based on emotions but realities. It must be well thought over, as marriage is supposed to life time decision. Joseph had deep thought about his intentions which is expected of couples in relationship. We saw Joseph engaging his mind fully especially while considering breakup. It was in this period of thinking and possibly praying that he got the exact divine direction he needed. Rush decisions are not to be taken because of the great impact and long term effect of such actions.



5. SEXUAL DISCIPLINE, ALIGNING TO DIVINE STANDARDS
And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS. Matt 1:25
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Heb. 13:4

It is important that as believers in courtship to keep themselves undefiled for many reasons. There is usually a feeling of entitlement of belonging of each other during courtship but sexual restraint needs to be put in place, especially after commitment to each other. Just like Joseph did in the story even though it seems he had done all the needful as a husband, he did not touch Mary until Jesus was born. The bible said what the Lord has joined together let no man put asunder. There are stages or process involved in the different culture and nations. The joining of the Lord is what we must primarily aimed at not just the cultural rites, legal documentation and so on.