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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help! Self Centred Wife. (2394 Views)
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Nobody: 2:44am On Nov 14, 2023 |
sheldonbbt: Do not ever give your money to her for saving. Learn to save by yourself. You should have 100% control over your money. I learnt in a hard way. Take care of your wife and your money. Finance can destroy a marriage if not handled delicately. 2 Likes |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by tonicyril: 3:02am On Nov 14, 2023 |
sheldonbbt:we always told u guys these things but u guys thinks otherwise, my woman doesn't know what I earn and how I earn it, mine is to provide, and when I am broke she will take the mantle. There is a tin line between love and foolishness bro 2 Likes |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by tonicyril: 3:03am On Nov 14, 2023 |
sheldonbbt:before u start that, make sure I cunningly find a way to retrieve what u have saved with her else kiss ur money goodbye 2 Likes |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by tonicyril: 3:10am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:neglected ur siblings for wife family?? Abeg una dey try ooh 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Nobody: 3:13am On Nov 14, 2023 |
tonicyril: It took me like 10years in marriage to learn. Today, nobody knows what I make or what i have. I will provide for all your needs. The respect dissapears if your wife knows you finish especially your finances. |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Nobody: 3:15am On Nov 14, 2023 |
tonicyril: I nor try at all. Not totall neglect but i focused on them before I realized i was a big mugu, I was being used and now, I don learn to be selfish. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by tonicyril: 3:16am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:ten years I knew all these even before I get myself a woman.. 2 Likes |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Nobody: 3:21am On Nov 14, 2023 |
tonicyril: I nor date before marriage and very naive. I be church boy and married at 25, 26 to my first girlfriend so no real relationship experience at the time. I thought everyone was as open minded and selfless like myself. The first 8 years of marriage, my wife was a stay at home mom and doing small business at home. I made her joint on all my accounts and na so we dey spend the money, sent a lot to her family and life was sweet. She went to school again, got a job and started making money. When I innocently requested to be joint on her account the way she was on all my accounts, she flatly refused. That was a big eye opening experience for me and I thought I was a smart guy. No matter how much I love now, my finances will always be a mystery only known to me. You should have something to surprise your wife and don't ever let your finances be known 100% 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by tonicyril: 3:23am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:wait, lemme ask.. Are ur inlaws not having male and female children? Is it ur obligation to take care of them when u have ur own family? Is their daughter (ur wife ) not working? I didn't say u can not extend ur benevolence to them but there should be difference, u re not their biological son, u re an adopted son tru marriage and u have ur own parent to look after as well.. Lemme tell you how I use to run my package. When I get a woman, I set her up with business she likes or learned, then I will tell her that with this she should be able to attend to her family needs(as capable as she is) and she should be careful not to run the business down due to insatiable urge for money from the family else my hand no dey ooh 2 Likes |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by tonicyril: 3:24am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:oohhhhh I see, 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Nobody: 3:35am On Nov 14, 2023 |
tonicyril: My brother, I set up businesses on numerous occasions my brother and it never ends well. That is tory for another day. As for the brother in laws, I have never seen a lazy bunch of people in all my life. Never want to work and always wanting to depend on the sister. Married men with no tangible source of income and they sabi manipulate their sister or mother. I cut them off already. |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by benzion72(m): 6:37am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Manage your finance individually. Contribute to your immediate family upkeep. |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by tonicyril: 6:50am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:Set her up on the business or handwork she understands.. Example, If she's learned a tailoring work, give her money to buy plenty female material, that tin get money.. Well, I always say...if all the children are lazy or not responsible then there is a tendency that it was caused by how the parent handled/trained the children while they were growing up.. Imagine not wanting to punish ur children when he err just because u don't what to hurt his emotions, or because u think he's still a child and should not be checkmated. Now when the child grows up he would not want to take responsibility for anything, he would not want to work because he knows his parents would provide for him . See, abeg let the parent eat the work of their labour on their irresponsible children, na werin dem sow dem go reap, don't stress ursef out because u want to be seen as good inlaw.. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by mrblessed(m): 6:53am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Learn how to take care of your people without her knowledge. It's not that difficult, especially since you know she is not in for it. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by jeromestarks: 7:02am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:What does that got to do with nothing? |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by duduade: 7:11am On Nov 14, 2023 |
mariahAngel: Na so ooo Men thinking with their third leg 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by falcon01: 7:13am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:you notice everything and every possible outcome, except if you choose not to. |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Nobody: 7:21am On Nov 14, 2023 |
falcon01: Not everything, You notice the very important ones, nobody ticks all boxes 100% except you got yourself a pretender. Some things are fundamental and cannot be accepted while some can be worked upon. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Nobody: 7:22am On Nov 14, 2023 |
jeromestarks: What does work experience have to do with job knowledge? That is how it sounds my friend! |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by deewhydoski(m): 8:10am On Nov 14, 2023 |
sheldonbbt:Why u too dey tell her anytime u want to send money to your family, no be everything u go dey tell your wife. 3 Likes |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by bukatyne(f): 8:59am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01: You don't need to ask him. Which married person would advice you to divorce your wife because she is self-centered towards her husband & family? |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by bukatyne(f): 9:00am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Or what does proficiency in a field got to do with consulting? Wahala wa. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by henrimoto(m): 9:44am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:..when you see a "Familyd" inclined response here on NL, you should be able to know . Does the responses from that guy look like a "Familyd" person. ? |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Cutehector(m): 11:48am On Nov 14, 2023 |
Lol... |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Possessedkid: 3:09pm On Nov 14, 2023 |
You can unleash your belt on her Next time you talk , she'll be submissive |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by falcon01: 3:32pm On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01:and the Important ones determine everything. And something like centeredness can go unnoticed (not sure if that's a word) |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by NoToPile: 3:42pm On Nov 14, 2023 |
sheldonbbt: Okay the money is not from your own savings with her, which she was telling you not to dip your hand into to send to your parents, it's from her own hustle according to her - that's okay but you sound like you didn't believe her why is that? So moving forward can you save your money by yourself and send your money to your parents by yourself next time? Open accounts without app, atm card whatever and only dip your hand when you need to. |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Erums(m): 7:00pm On Nov 14, 2023 |
Skyview01: Took me 6months or less |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Nobody: 7:01pm On Nov 14, 2023 |
Erums: You smart pass me na! |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Ndidi2: 9:01pm On Nov 14, 2023 |
sheldonbbt:pls go and open a money market fund account with Stanbic ibtc or fbn money market to save money atleast with 8% annually and the interest is on daily basis U see your money change digit daily on weekdays That's where l save till l'm ready for investment |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by ExudeLoveToAll: 9:30pm On Nov 14, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: It's his saving, humans are not to be trusted 100 percent wether wife , sister, brother, etc . He should have control over his earnings and savings. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Self Centred Wife. by Kobojunkie: 9:35pm On Nov 14, 2023 |
ExudeLoveToAll:According to Op, there was a good reason why he had her taking care of it from the beginning. Op probably believed the money would fare better if she was to guard it as opposed to him doing so. And since she is his wife, I see no reason why she shouldn't continue to handle that. Whatever happens to his savings probably affects her too. This particular issue they are having needs to be resolved not by taking the savings out of her hands and putting it in OP'S less trustworthy hands, but by other means. They need to come to an agreement on how to resolve demands from either families. |
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