This might sound awkward but it's the truth. At 19, my parent still flogs me. I'll be 20 hopefully by April next year. My parents gets angry at every mistake I make. Especially my mom, she shouts at every little mistake I make. Just last week, she had flog me with a pipe used to draw petrol. When i ask my friends if their parents still flogs them, one of them even said he couldnt remember. Hopefully, if ASUU calls off strike, I'll be in 300 level. I study in Federal university of technology, minna, in the department of Estate Management. My dad is self employed. And by that, I mean he mills corn and millets for a living. You know, with the engine popularly known as (Surufe da Nika). We are currently based in Minna but I still go to Gidan Kwanu everyday to receive lectures. I've been going to school from home since from my 100level the reason was that, I always help my dad in his work. But even during exams, my dad won't let me take a break! What I hate most is that we always grind in the night. Just imagine yourself having exams tomorrow and you are grinding engine overnight. The electricity here in Niger State is not stable so we have to wake up 11pm in the night when the light is mostly stable and grind till probably when PHCN takes the light at 3am or when there is nothing left to grind. Although I have siblings, I'm the only son and eldest in our family having 5 siblings which are all girls. I do most of the house chores as 2 of my sisters are schooling in boarding. The most painful part is that, even though I always work hard, I'll never receive a thank you. Rather, I always get scorned at. It's a miracle I'm still not withdrawn from school though. I don't even have my own personal time. Anytime I go out, I'll always receive calls from them telling me to come back home. Most times, after receiving beating from my mom, she will boast that the next beating I'll receive will leave a scar on my body which I'll show to my children Imagine!. Even she did leave a scar, I'll never show that to my kids. Truth is, the only thing keeping me alive is my friends and Marvel Future Fight, an android game I usually play on my phone. I pray school resumes so I could go back to the hostel even if I have to squat with someone. I'm just tired of staying at home. Please I serious advice from you. I'll be happy if parents will contribute to this post too. And if you are wondering which tribe I come from, it's NUPE. Please mods I need help. @lalasticlala

You think say na Jand you dey? Better wake up

Even if you like be 40 so far you are still living under them, they still pay your bills, you still run to them for any of your needs any day wey jonze you collect as e dey hot

Wey u dey think like davido..what do u expect?

SenselessIdiot:
You think say na Jand you dey? Better wake up

Even if you like be 40 so far you are still living under them, they still pay your bills, you still run to them for any of your needs any day wey jonze you collect as e dey hot

well for d fact that he lives under their roof doesnt mean they shouldnt respect him, the worst part is that they are making his schooling miserable, those same parents will complain if he comes out of school with a poor result!!!

Pay a visit to the social welfare office nearest to you. Narrate the above ordeal very well to the officer in charge. Your liberty begins there.

Lamb101:
Pay a visit to the social welfare office nearest to you. Narrate the above ordeal very well to the officer in charge. Your liberty begins there.

OK thanks I'll do just that. But hope it won't cos trouble for them sha?

You sef stop doing things that will make them beat you.

Naijatask:
OK thanks I'll do just that. But hope it won't cos trouble for them sha?

It depends.

Naijatask:
OK thanks I'll do just that. But hope it won't cos trouble for them sha?

i think a reasonable spiritual director will come handy in this case

Oga, welldone for all the work you do as a child to your parents.
However, at 21 you are still reliant on your parents, your siblings are in boarding school, your parents are obviously noy very well off hence can only afford to grind at odd hours of the night in order to save resources to continue supporting you in school.
In saner societies, you will be fending for yourself, schooling, feeding, accomodation etc
I feel whilst its inconvenient commuting to sch from home, staying up to grind at odd hours, its a small sacrifice to pay and you should ahow some gratitude to your family for supporting your dreams.

Look around several threads here on this platform and you ll see lots of nairalanders who's parents do not support them in anyway......be grateful and stop been entitled

you are still a child. it is not about age, it is mental. If this doesn't stop soon, you might develop inferiority complex. you be last born?

Yudee8:
you are still a child. it is not about age, it is mental. If this doesn't stop soon, you might develop inferiority complex. you be last born?

I'm the first born and the only male in the family

keepingmum:
Oga, welldone for all the work you do as a child to your parents.
However, at 21 you are still reliant on your parents, your siblings are in boarding school, your parents are obviously noy very well off hence can only afford to grind at odd hours of the night in order to save resources to continue supporting you in school.
In saner societies, you will be fending for yourself, schooling, feeding, accomodation etc
I feel whilst its inconvenient commuting to sch from home, staying up to grind at odd hours, its a small sacrifice to pay and you should ahow some gratitude to your family for supporting your dreams.

Look around several threads here on this platform and you ll see lots of nairalanders who's parents do not support them in anyway......be grateful and stop been entitled

Thank you. I'm forever grateful to them because they were the one's who brought me to this world. But the fact that I receive beating often than my siblings still pains me

Naijatask:

Thank you. I'm forever grateful to them because they were the one's who brought me to this world. But the fact that I receive beating often than my siblings still pains me

What attracts the beatings? There has to be something.

Whatever it may be, try toning it down till you leave your parents. You don't sound like a "bad kid" at all and I know how Nigerian parents can be sometimes. Just stop whatever triggers it at all even if it would mean giving up a lot of things. It's only for a while.

It is well.

Don't listen to some of the advice these people are giving u. At 19 ur no longer a child and dat beating has to stop. Cane is meant to help the child remember Dat a particular thing he/she did was bad and not to repeat it but "at this ur age" u can already tell between good and bad so cane is not needed anymore. It sounds to me like u are d quiet and Meek type dat is why you are in ur current predicament. Sha what I would have told u to do I doubt u would have to balls to do it so what I would advice u to do is to leave Dat house as soon as school resumes even if it means squatting with someone and don't go home for a long time. They would finally start seeing your value and if they start telling u to come back home, man up and tell them that the beating has to stop. They would probably threaten u but if they are parents dat actually give a Bleep about u they would consider eventually. If they don't, go and find a new family

Even after you get married sef, your wife, na flog, she go dey flog you.

mhd5757:
Even after you get married sef, your wife, na flog, she go dey flog you.

lol

This is simply abuse!

You have to begin to assert yourself first as an adult and then as a man.

Begin to spend less hours at home and more in school find a place to squat during exam periods! There must be a way round this mess!

While you’re home avoid potential quarrel triggers and do whatever chores is expected of you without being told but be firm and assertive in a subtly way!

During holidays look for odd jobs to earn a little income. That’ll keep you away from home and help you begin earn no matter how little for yourself

Good luck

PhenomenalMorgan:
well for d fact that he lives under their roof doesnt mean they shouldnt respect him, the worst part is that they are making his schooling miserable, those same parents will complain if he comes out of school with a poor result!!!

This (the OP)just is one more evidence that not everybody has the parenting gene (Idunnowhattocallit)
Our society force-expects people to get married or else, making people who have no business getting married or having kids going ahead to do so
Even though some people are just plain cruel people who steal others’s joy, child or no child
Imagine a union between two cruel people? They would just potentiate each others’ badness and their social network would simply see hell

Naijatask:
OK thanks I'll do just that. But hope it won't cos trouble for them sha?

Hey yaa
My heart goes out for you based on this your post which is just too revealing
Can you show them this thread?
Just read babythug’s post and go with it
Also just mostly concentrate and think about all the things that make you happy, even what you like about your parents
These will make you become more positive minded and can reroute your life and thoughts

Good luck

Some parents unknowingly destroy the relationship with their kids. Just treating their kids badly because they can.

I would say they are just transferring aggression to you.

Its so sad to see what they have to go through to fend for their kids but then theres no shame in legal hustle thankfully you still have what a lot of people dont which is a sponsor.

Just avoid whatever triggers the beatings, try and have sometime to read at school.

This too shall pass

Its well

Children grow so fast these days. Imagine how refreshingly young your narration sounds...lovely.

Let's hope asu calls off strike quickly. You surely can't continue like this. I wish your parents understand how much of a good kid you've been to them. Well, you surely need to give them space if that can be managed. Pele.

It's good for you

keepingmum:
Oga, welldone for all the work you do as a child to your parents.
However, at 21 you are still reliant on your parents, your siblings are in boarding school, your parents are obviously noy very well off hence can only afford to grind at odd hours of the night in order to save resources to continue supporting you in school.
In saner societies, you will be fending for yourself, schooling, feeding, accomodation etc
I feel whilst its inconvenient commuting to sch from home, staying up to grind at odd hours, its a small sacrifice to pay and you should ahow some gratitude to your family for supporting your dreams.

Look around several threads here on this platform and you ll see lots of nairalanders who's parents do not support them in anyway......be grateful and stop been entitled

feeling entitled? So because they're paying his school fees means they should not give him time to read?

Op I think you need to sit your parents down and have a heart to heart discussion in the most respectful way and promise them you'll put in efforts to be of good behavior but you find it awkward that they still cane you which by the way is not normal.


If you have erred they should tell you your fokups instead of beating you like an animal

you're still a child mentally, its not about the physical

what exactly would make your mother hit you with a hose?

dude, say the truth, you're frustrated and you lash at them which lead to hitting

but trust me, you should start doing something in school, so you fall back on when you graduate instead of going back to your parents house that makes you sad and angry....it will be alright soon

Mizwisdom:
It's good for you

parental abuses like this is what makes teenagers of his age go wayward and haywire.this is 2018 almost ending for goodness sakes and parents should know how to punish their erring children without violence

Some of his mates have ran away from home to be doing yahoo,some are smoking,stealing and gambling under the bridge because abusive parents like this pushed them out

Op What your parents are doing is abusive and it's not acceptable. Even the Bible speaks against abusive parenting in Ephesians chapter 13 when it said PARENTS PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH

without getting confrontational when next he tries to hit you,grab the cane.don't assault him just grab the cane,what you're doing is protecting yourself against abuse and setting boundaries. If he says he won't pay your school fees,so be it,tell him you will leave the house and go and sell things to raise the money and if you become successful, you're not coming back home.and you too conduct yourself like an adult if you want to be treated as one

SAMBARRY:
parental abuses like this is what makes teenagers of his age go wayward and haywire.this is 2018 almost ending for goodness sakes and parents should know how to punish their erring children without violence

Some of his mates have ran away from home to be doing yahoo,some are smoking,stealing and gambling under the bridge because abusive parents like this pushed them out

Op What your parents are doing is abusive and it's not acceptable. Even the Bible speaks against abusive parenting in Ephesians chapter 13 when it said PARENTS PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH

without getting confrontational when next he tries to hit you,grab the cane.don't assault him just grab the cane,what you're doing is protecting yourself against abuse and setting boundaries. If he says he won't pay your school fees,so be it,tell him you will leave the house and go and sell things to raise the money and if you become successful, you're not coming back home.and you too conduct yourself like an adult if you want to be treated as one

Na so una go dey una house dey give advice upandan. By the time e try this now him papa vex call two hefty men come hold am down give am 1000 strokes of bulala, you go dey your house dey sleep when him go dey shout "egbami o, egbami o" dey disturb the whole neighborhood".

Some people don't have business in being a parent and if they do by mistake, the child ought to be collected from them immediately.

Have seen a woman that beats her less than 6 yrs old son if not that we knew her too well one will think that the child wasn't hers.

Any fight between her and the irresponsible husband will refect on the poor boy's body soon.

Try as much as possible to avoid her. Do what is expected of you. You are dependent on them for your needs.

Start doing exercise and build up your muscles for intimidation. When next she want to flog you, hold her hands still and firm for sometime with straight face then after some minutes let her go and tell her not to use the cane on you again. Don't ever hit her.

Smh

Papa wey no get money?

Ranchhoddas:
Na so una go dey una house dey give advice upandan. By the time e try this now him papa vex call two hefty men come hold am down give am 1000 strokes of bulala, you go dey your house dey sleep when him go dey shout "egbami o, egbami o" dey disturb the whole neighborhood".

SAMBARRY:
parental abuses like this is what makes teenagers of his age go wayward and haywire.this is 2018 almost ending for goodness sakes and parents should know how to punish their erring children without violence

Some of his mates have ran away from home to be doing yahoo,some are smoking,stealing and gambling under the bridge because abusive parents like this pushed them out

Op What your parents are doing is abusive and it's not acceptable. Even the Bible speaks against abusive parenting in Ephesians chapter 13 when it said PARENTS PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH

without getting confrontational when next he tries to hit you,grab the cane.don't assault him just grab the cane,what you're doing is protecting yourself against abuse and setting boundaries. If he says he won't pay your school fees,so be it,tell him you will leave the house and go and sell things to raise the money and if you become successful, you're not coming back home.and you too conduct yourself like an adult if you want to be treated as one

Flogging is not abuse. The rod is for correction. You want to destroy his future hence your advise to him

Mizwisdom:


Flogging is not abuse. The rod is for correction. You want to destroy his future hence your advise to him

what happened to correcting with mouth?is he an animal? And who told you violence will make him comply,at 19,not 6years.the way you will correct a 10year old is different from the way you will correct a 19year old.it will only create resentment and more sturnoness in him.I guess op must really have a small stature for him to be caned at 19.my kid brother looked 25 when he was 19.I wonder how anyone won't think twice before trying to cane him