Rape, incest and doubt of motherhood

Lara Adekunle (not real name) was a teenager betrayed by her blood relative – uncle – who was living with her family.

She was 13 years old and in junior secondary school. While Lara’s parents were securing a better future for the young man, he was planning a sexual heist on the young girl.

“He started by buying gifts for me. I thought it was a normal uncle-niece treatment. He was always around me. I did not know he was planning anything of sort.

“I used to be home alone with him whenever I was back from school.

“So, on this particular day, I was home and he was in his room. He called me to see him in his room, which I did. Before I knew anything, he forcefully had carnal knowledge of me.

“After the whole saga, he begged me not to tell my mother and promised to get me anything I wanted. It was such a scary thing. I did not know how to tell my mother or my dad.


“I cried every day in my room. After contemplation for a few days, I had to open up to my mummy because I was not myself anymore,” she revealed.


Lara’s mother must not tell her husband because that would be the end of her and her brother in the house. Lara’s father is not only a principled person but also a ‘no nonsense man,’ as his daughter described him. What he would do could be unimaginable.

Lara’s mother questioned her brother, who confessed and apologized. But what would the poor woman do? Tell her husband or send her brother, whom the husband was sponsoring in school, away? What offence would she tell her husband her brother had committed? It became ‘oku oru’ as the Yorubas will say. ‘Oku oru’ is used to describe a situation that cannot be revealed to anyone.

However, luck was not on the side of the poor little girl: her trauma became compounded when she started adding weight and her skin was glowing… she became pregnant.

“I was noticing some changes in my body. My mother was also monitoring me. I was supposed to see my monthly flow on the 28th of the same month, but nothing happened until 14th day of the following month and my mother decided to carry out pregnancy test on me. She got me a test strip and it confirmed I was pregnant,” she revealed.


The revelation did unsettle the mother. It was another trauma to deal with. Would she now tell the husband or handle the new development as ‘oku oru’? Yes! She had to save her daughter, her brother and her marriage. She consulted her friend, who told her what to do.

“Mummy got some drugs for me to use. I took them that day and the following day. I noticed I was having some rumbling in my tummy and later started having some pains.

“I started bleeding. It was a terrible situation. My mother was praying nothing should happen to me. “In the evening, when my dad came back from work and asked about me, my mother told him I was feeling sick due to menstrual cramps”.

Lara was taken to a nurse the following day, who injected her and also recommended some drugs to use. A few days later, she became well. But all was not well -unknown to her.

“It’s been over 10 years after the ugly experience. I don’t know if I will ever be able to conceive or have a baby. My menstruation stopped like eight months ago without any sign of pregnancy. I was at the hospital, and the doctor told me my chance of getting pregnant was very slim, which might not be unconnected with the unsafe abortion she had to go through when she was 13.


Asked why the mother did not take her to the hospital to remove the pregnancy, she replied: “I don’t know but I think it may be because abortion is illegal in Nigeria. Perhaps, it’s because of the stigma attached and dad must not know anything.”

Lara finished university top of her class. She is currently doing well for herself as a communicator. For childbearing, she is only hoping on God.

COUPLE’S UNSPEAKABLE LOSS

In the quiet corners of Ondo City, a couple battled life challenges just like countless other Nigerians striving to put food on their table, amidst the harsh economic realities brought about by fuel subsidy removal, soaring inflation rates, and the escalating prices of goods and services.

With two little ones to care for, the thought of expanding their family further seemed like an overwhelming burden, given the economic strain they were already enduring. Yet, fate had other plans – the wife became pregnant. Faced with this bleak reality, they contemplated the unthinkable – abortion.

In a desperate bid to resolve their predicament, the husband sought the assistance of a ‘doctor’, whose qualifications remained unverified till this report was filed.

Tragically, the abortion was performed within the confines of their home, but what was anticipated to bring relief only ushered in an era of unimaginable suffering, pain, and, ultimately, the demise of their marriage.

Afterwards, the wife began to bleed profusely, writhing in agony. The pain became unbearable, forcing her to be rushed to the nearest hospital. Recognizing the gravity of her condition, the hospital referred her to Ife.

There, the horrifying truth was discovered: the so-called “doctor” had punctured the woman’s womb during the botched abortion attempt. Her womb was said to be decaying, necessitating its removal. Tragically, the woman succumbed to this nightmare, her life extinguished by the tragic consequences of an unsafe abortion.


Further investigation showed the husband was arrested by the police in Ondo. A close source in the Nigerian police confirmed the case to The Hope. A prosecutor also confirmed knowledge of the ugly development. The ‘doctor’ was on the run when this report was filed. In the neighbourhood, whispers of the tragedy echoed through the air. One of the neighbours claimed the husband sold his late wife’s phone to pay for the abortion that ended her life.

Read the rest of the stories here,👇👇👇

https://www.thehopenewspaper.com/whispers-of-pain-human-cost-of-unsafe-abortions/

Sad but insightful