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Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Wife Travelling Without Consent ? / Drama As Ex-wife Marries Off Daughter Without Father’s Consent / My Parents Move In To My Ongoing New House Without My Consent (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by lomprico(m): 4:52pm On Dec 07, 2023
Obolor123454:
PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.

Oga do wetin dey your mind. We sha don advice you finish before!

You have now added it's a "Male" friend's sister's wedding, which you didn't mention in the earlier thread. Go ahead and enjoy your new support and advice from 17-21yr old nairalanders.

Your home, run it the way you want.
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by mukthar2000(m): 4:58pm On Dec 07, 2023
Oga u are the alpha and Omega of ur house , command her not to attend that weeding, abi becos she clothe and feed u make u to be scare of her or what, I don't understand.

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by rickleye: 5:05pm On Dec 07, 2023
Obolor123454:
PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.


Dude there is no way on either side that a spouse should embark on a trip without informing the other person so as to make the necessary adjustments.
There is a an obvious communication failure between the two of you . Which leads me to ask if the two of you are even intimate. Reason being even if you like a person - you bring the person along with the journey emotionally.
You cannot command a spouse to travel or not . That will only happen if she recognizes you as the head and if you are in Christian home.
I guess what I am trying to say is that she is keeping bad company and has decided the marriage isn’t worth it. I’ll even go on to say there are no kids yet in the family. So there is no attachment. It smells like she is having an emotional affair which will become physical once she leaves.
In any case - NL is not where you need to bring this Issue. Find a counselor or pastor and discuss all the other issues you have decided not to share with us.

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by imagrg(m): 5:07pm On Dec 07, 2023
Please let your wife breathe. You Kenyans are too jealous.
Let that Big Girl be!
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by HIbreed(m): 5:17pm On Dec 07, 2023
Juoflife1:
Tell her not to go. It's that simple. Like someone said, expressing your concerns alone should make her not to attend that occasion. I don't live in the same country with my husband, he's not even Nigerian but if I want to go somewhere and he objects to it after much explaining, I don't go. Why will she even suggest to go with your brother? To prove what? What concerns her with the marriage of a younger sibling to an old school mate? Do they know her personally in the family? Where will she sleep and where will your brother sleep? Too many questions to ask lol.
Her movement is a suspicious one. She suggesting your brother follow her makes it even more suspicious. She knows fully well she cannot sleep in the same room with your brother. She will even 'sort' your brother's allocation out then claims she sleeps in the maids room inside whereas she might be busy collecting it hot hot in the deep of the night in that same location. grin

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Emotionss: 5:20pm On Dec 07, 2023
[color=#006600][/color]
madridguy:
Threads like this always break my heart into pieces. Do you mean you cannot command your own wife? Is she too big for you to tell her straight to cancel the program?

African men are fast loosing their right as husband just like the Europeans.

I am sure you're among the men " Me and my wife share equal right in our marriage " This is the result of the equal right with your wife.

God Bless you my brother.
Just see as I just the provoke as I was reading the article.

In the name of becoming Woke and modern Africa men are abandoning their masculinity for something else...

Not only is she traveling without first seeking for HIS consent, the supposed travel is because of a " supposed MALE former classmates " sister wedding.

Weaklings everywhere.

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by cococandy(f): 5:50pm On Dec 07, 2023
madridguy:
Are you saying the husband should allowed her to go simply because she is going with the husband's brother ? Is this a joke or what?
What business did the husband's brother have with the party?

Again he’s not her father to “allow” her to do anything. She’s a grown woman and can do what she likes. Ideally with his blessing. But without his blessing and If it comes with consequences such as a fallout with her husband, then I hope she’s ready and mature enough to accept whatever the outcome is.

I’m going to need you to modify your language if you really want to have this conversation with me. You and I are not having a conversation where a man is allowing or commanding anything of his wife. That’s not the world I live in. Get somebody else to do it.


As for going with his brother, I think that suggestion was her offering him peace of mind (so to say) in case he’s having some mistrust. The mistrust is a topic for another day. Something they’d have to address on its own. The elephant in the room.

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by kennethesan(m): 6:26pm On Dec 07, 2023
Stand your ground, instruct her not to go and let her know that she should just stay there if she goes.
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Capernum: 6:33pm On Dec 07, 2023
cococandy:
How does one command a wife. Do you say “Verily, verily, I command you”?

Is this real life? People exist who think they can command their spouses?

Best and ideal case scenario is that you express your feelings about whatever misgivings you have considering the decision your wife or husband is about to make and most likely they’ll consider it and halt their actions.

The feeling of possibly offending you or creating unnecessary tension in the relationship is often a good deterrent (At least to a loving and respectful husband/wife). I honestly think most people wouldn’t do something if their spouse is expressing that they are not on board.

But to command? As in the very grammatical expression of „I own you and I get to decide for you“?

Okay then I’m going. Ihukwa


Madam never marry a strong man. A man who understands what is called strength and leadership... Just settle down for a simp/a week man.

In leadership, there is a place for command once in a while when situations warrants it. In this matter as the op. He needs to exercise his authority as the head of the home. Let the wife then plead.

How will my wife plan to attend a wedding ceremony outside the country and just give me few days notice? You dey wine? I won't release her!

I'll give her a point blank NO! and see how she will handle it. A thorough bred African woman knows how to handle the situation and get her desired result.

There is no gender equality in marriage. The Husband is the head of the wife and the home.

I hate weaklings. I'm not a bully too. It's called strength. Don't marry a woman become a mushy mushy at home.

Stuffs like this are irritating.

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Capernum: 6:40pm On Dec 07, 2023
Dear op, as a matter of urgency, go and hunt for resources on improving your strength as a man/husband. I will recommend some books of Myles Munroe and Td Jakes if you care. There is a book called 'mastering female dynamics' you need to read that book. God help you.

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by cococandy(f): 6:41pm On Dec 07, 2023
Capernum:

. A man who understands what is called strength and leadership...

Does not need to command his wife
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by maasoap(m): 6:45pm On Dec 07, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Op, I noticed how you carefully refused to answer many of the concerns expressed on the other thread. But it seems here that at the core of all of this is a lack of trust on your part for your wife. Is there a particular reason this? Op, why do you not trust your wife enough to accept, even when she offered to go with your brother, that she may just be wanting to attend an event? undecided

Must she attend the wedding of younger sister of her old school mate? Joblessness and idleness. Simple as ABC

You mention culture, and I must say that I have never read of any Kenyan culture that required women to spill entire details or their movements and dealings in marriage. Most cultures simply expect that couples would do so out of courtesy but no culture mandates it. This makes me wonder what it is you wish to hide behind the culture card. undecided
You didn't post this. Seriously?
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by LordReed(m): 6:46pm On Dec 07, 2023
Obolor123454:
PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.

The number one reason people keep this kind of information away from their spouses is because they think their spouse will not approve or reject it. You need to discuss with your wife why she kept such information away from you and why her presence atthis event is so important, this is the only way to know what really is happening here.
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Kobojunkie: 6:47pm On Dec 07, 2023
maasoap:
■ Must she attend the wedding of younger sister of her old school mate? Joblessness and idleness. Simple as ABC You didn't post this. Seriously?
Is there a rule written in stone somewhere that a grown up woman cannot attend the wedding of even her old school mate, whether she is jobless or not? undecided
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by maasoap(m): 6:52pm On Dec 07, 2023
cococandy:
How does one command a wife. Do you say “Verily, verily, I command you”?

Is this real life? People exist who think they can command their spouses?

Best and ideal case scenario is that you express your feelings about whatever misgivings you have considering the decision your wife or husband is about to make and most likely they’ll consider it and halt their actions.

The feeling of possibly offending you or creating unnecessary tension in the relationship is often a good deterrent (At least to a loving and respectful husband/wife). I honestly think most people wouldn’t do something if their spouse is expressing that they are not on board.

But to command? As in the very grammatical expression of „I own you and I get to decide for you“?

Okay then I’m going. Ihukwa


No one owns anyone. It is simple, "you can't go".
And if she's ready to face whatever the consequences might be, she should go. It is all about what's important to her: the wedding of a long lost colleague's sister or her home/marriage
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by maasoap(m): 6:53pm On Dec 07, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Is there a rule written in stone somewhere that a grown up woman cannot attend the wedding of even her old school mate, whether she is jobless or not? undecided
Not the wedding of her old school mate.
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Kobojunkie: 6:54pm On Dec 07, 2023
maasoap:
■ Not the wedding of her old school mate.
Whatever occasion it may be, where is the rule written abeg?. undecided
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by maasoap(m): 6:58pm On Dec 07, 2023
Karlifate:
Your wife can cheat on you under the same roof, and you won't suspect a thing. cheesy

So, rest.
Yes, that's very simple and it is easier but some things are to be frown upon. This is one of them
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by cococandy(f): 6:58pm On Dec 07, 2023
maasoap:


No one owns anyone. It is simple, "you can't go".
And if she's ready to face whatever the consequences might be, she should go. It is all about what's important to her: the wedding of a long lost colleague's sister or her home/marriage

You know what? I don’t disagree
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by maasoap(m): 7:00pm On Dec 07, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Whatever occasion it may be, where is the rule written abeg?. undecided
Every home makes their own rules as they deemed it fit or should we go and check constitution
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Kobojunkie: 7:04pm On Dec 07, 2023
maasoap:

Every home makes their own rules as they deemed it fit or should we go and check constitution
OK, then what is this discussion about? undecided

The home in question is comprised of Op and his wife. The wife wants to attend the program even though Op objects for reasons he refuses to open up about. So why are you here insisting it has to be the woman's fault when she is equally part of the home making the rules? undecided

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by theamazonguru(m): 8:00pm On Dec 07, 2023
noskcid:
If you check her WhatsApp, it will be like a can of worms. You can’t imagine what some people have in secret but they keep acting like you are their number one but in the real sense you nothing close number 100 sef.

Very true.
The very day I feared women was the day a good friend with whom we were always having good fruitful conversations about life, work, career, future plans, family etc just suddenly during a call pulled off her top to reveal her tities. I was so so dumfounded.
Afterwards she started sending me loads of videos where she did crazy things, tho not nude but erotic dances etc

I was like wow.

I can't believe what my eye is seeing.
So I didn't actually know this lady.
I only knew her on the surface.

So behind that serious effico, career, family woman carriage is a wild beast waiting to unleash her wildness.

Trust me, her husband knows less than 40% about her.
And they have been married for over 12 years.

Ómó I ran for my dear life.



God help up.
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by okerekingsley90: 8:14pm On Dec 07, 2023
madridguy:
Threads like this always break my heart into pieces. Do you mean you cannot command your own wife? Is she too big for you to tell her straight to cancel the program?

African men are fast loosing their right as husband just like the Europeans.

I am sure you're among the men " Me and my wife share equal right in our marriage " This is the result of the equal right with your wife.

Very simpish and weak man grin grin
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by lagosrd: 8:36pm On Dec 07, 2023
Obolor123454:
PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.

Am just reading this your piece and I feel I need to chop in something for you. Please and please just keep calm and get yourself together , prepare your mind and pray and watch.

Keep mute about it and watch her attitude when she comes back. Am sorry to tell you that there is more to it , your wife has been hiding from you a lot unknown to you, however you're a lucky man cos it's been revealed to you when you can still adjust to one of the many challenges life can throw at a man.

Avoid sleeping with her immediately she comes back if you guys are still in the business of making babies.

Watch and notice her attitude towards you and ignore so many of them as if they don't exist cos she will want to play smart on you if you make a big deal out of it .

Don't border asking her questions when she returns and wat h the kind of friends she keeps gather enough evidence to confront her .

Don't be tempted to tell any family member or any clergy for now.. ha dle this yourself cos it's a rare opportunity to bring her under submission and husband control.

Continue with daily houses activities and normals doings . Dint get bordered so that you won't die for nothing.

Lastly start preparing your mind not to be moved , suprised or thrown off balance if you get to know more than what the third ears could here.

Be strategic, proactive , descrete and investigative.. and if you're able to subdue her. Pls forgive her and move on. Cos things dey happen ooo. If others still you what they are facing , you will take your own inside and manage it yourself.
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by dnawah(m): 8:59pm On Dec 07, 2023
Obolor123454:
PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.
it depends on the hand u gave her.
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by IamMobisola(f): 10:16pm On Dec 07, 2023
madridguy:
Threads like this always break my heart into pieces. Do you mean you cannot command your own wife? Is she too big for you to tell her straight to cancel the program?

African men are fast loosing their right as husband just like the Europeans.

I am sure you're among the men " Me and my wife share equal right in our marriage " This is the result of the equal right with your wife.
Pele, commander-in-chief of the armed forces? As per Na dog you dey command undecided undecided

2 Likes

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by IamMobisola(f): 10:19pm On Dec 07, 2023
Obolor123454:
PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.
You better rest and don't develop HBP.
What is the fuss about attending an event? What's with the PERMISSION she has to take from you before she attends an event? Is she a kid? She informed you, that's already enough!
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by noskcid(m): 10:24pm On Dec 07, 2023
theamazonguru:


Very true.
The very day I feared women was the day a good friend with whom we were always having good fruitful conversations about life, work, career, future plans, family etc just suddenly during a call pulled off her top to reveal her tities. I was so so dumfounded.
Afterwards she started sending me loads of videos where she did crazy things, tho not nude but erotic dances etc

I was like wow.

I can't believe what my eye is seeing.
So I didn't actually know this lady.
I only knew her on the surface.

So behind that serious effico, career, family woman carriage is a wild beast waiting to unleash her wildness.

Trust me, her husband knows less than 40% about her.
And they have been married for over 12 years.

Ómó I ran for my dear life.



God help up.
Eyes don see bro
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Kobojunkie: 10:35pm On Dec 07, 2023
IamMobisola:
■ Pele, commander-in-chief of the armed forces? As per Na dog you dey command undecided undecided

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Juoflife1(f): 10:39pm On Dec 07, 2023
Yes.
Kobojunkie:
Does this husband of yours accord you the same respect or is this all one-sided? undecided
Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Kobojunkie: 10:42pm On Dec 07, 2023
Juoflife1:
Yes.
So, if you outright tell your husband not to go somewhere, he will never go there? lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: Re: UPDATE Wife Travelling Without Consent ? by Albertone(m): 11:05pm On Dec 07, 2023
mukthar2000:
Oga u are the alpha and Omega of ur house , command her not to attend that weeding, abi becos she clothe and feed u make u to be scare of her or what, I don't understand.

If he tells her not to go and she still went, what then should happen?

1 Like

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