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JAPA: My Marriage Shakes - Travel (4) - Nairaland

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Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Ambitious21: 3:45pm On Dec 26, 2023
Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

You are not getting permanent Visa next year.

You can either get Post study visa ( 2years) or any of you get COS ( 5 years ).

If you guys get Post study VISA, you will still partner her as dependent but if you can scope her and you are the one that get COS of five years, she will partner you as dependent..

Pls be wise and smart....

A lot is happening to many marriages

3 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by KaptainAfrika: 3:46pm On Dec 26, 2023
All these propaganda against japa wont work, you better go and refund the Government's money.
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by 10thTenthMan: 3:46pm On Dec 26, 2023
Britishpea:
Men be wise. Women are fake! 90% of times, you married the brokenness in her. If she’s saying yes sir and being submissive in marriage, it’s the brokenness In her that’s submissive.

Real wives are the ones who have some financial freedom and still remain submissive. Such women are always respected by their husbands.

Beware of wives who came from a very poor background. They don’t even know themselves. If your wife and you quarrel a lot here in Nigeria of she argues a lot don’t ever try to take her abroad if you cherish that marriage.


Most wives don’t like you. They are staying because they had no options at that time.

A wife that has the fear of God should be the target but where are they?!!! Social media has killed our fabrics. Expect the worst in the next 10 years.


You have said it all in very Simple Terms.

Most married the men to be able to eat and survive and will accept the men they detest because of this in Nigeria.

The moment they arrive overseas, start working get paid, within 1 year they have 20 to 30k saved and, they can now access credit cards and buy cars and other things on credit etc. They will question WHY ON EARTH THEY PUT UP WITH YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Most women marry to get the visa of survival and surviving Nigeria through the men they marry.

MOST NIGERIAN WOMEN WOULD NOT HAVE ACCEPTED TO MARRY THE MEN THEY GOT MARRIED TO IF THEY AS WOMEN THEY WERE WORKING, EARNING BIG AND HAD THEIR OWN MONEY.

That is the thing. The women wouldn’t have married these men in the first place if they had the choice. Na poverty and confusion about not knowing how to be fully productive, na him make most of the women manage the men dem marry.

10 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Eteka1(m): 3:47pm On Dec 26, 2023
WilsonBright935:


Chief... It actually depends on what your wife tells the Home Office or the police. If she accuse you of domestic abuse, I'm afraid Home Office/ court could give you 3 months ultimatum to pack your things and leave the UK.

You might as well be given grace to look for COS within a given time.

The best thing now is to secretly look for COS (without her notice if possible). But for the main time, lay low.


And try and work back to back so far your working hour is not restricted. Gather enough money so you can rely on if things go south.

Shalom!!!
what's COS?
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by jesmond3945: 3:48pm On Dec 26, 2023
Notfogotten:



So let me lay low for the next 7 months.
thats if she writes to home office to remove your sponsorship.
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Mustack: 3:48pm On Dec 26, 2023
Ahmed0336:
I was discussing with my wife the other day and she brought the issue of relocating.
I told her I don't have plans to leave so she can go ahead. But as for the kids, they'd definitely leave this country when the time is right.
No be me woman go show shege for another man's land undecided

I have this opinion as well
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by 10thTenthMan: 3:50pm On Dec 26, 2023
seborrhic:

But won't it be factored that the kids were left in the cold for that long?
I know the worst offence is child abuse or neglect.
This story get as he be unless the man is not telling the truth.Leaving kids out in the cold because they cannot access their home due to the woman's absence,is even the woman in this case that should be scared shitless that the story doesn't get out.

The man works in the oil and gas industry in Nigeria.
He is not fully resident in the “Obodo Abroad”.

It is said that when she eventually picked and he told her the situation she did not hurry. She said she is in Walmart. When he called her back she was still there he scolded her and asked if she is mad to not have immediately gone home to open the door for the kids.

The woman is there and minding the kids. But that day she just was not available from around 8:00 am when the kids went to school, till around 6:00 pm when she eventually picked and had to be scolded by the man to go home. I think schools close around 3:00pm.
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by 10thTenthMan: 3:52pm On Dec 26, 2023
PDJT:


-Nothing wrong with the principle of child support. If they are indeed his kids, he would provide for them regardless. However, if he doesn't have access to the kids as he wishes whilst paying the child support, then he should consider relocation ASAP. Let the woman raise the kids in the harsh UK environment, when all the kids are grown and left home, we shall then see what remains of the woman.


Absolutely. I didn’t and can’t hint that it is wrong. Absolutely not o.

I am simply saying it should be factored. To me, as long as you can see the kids, it is worth the cost. I am just saying those deductions are enough for any reasonable Man to factor into his decision making process.

It is an additional factor to be considered.

4 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by joebeckz(m): 3:54pm On Dec 26, 2023
PlushyRealtor:


Nice advice. Bro my question is, is it possible for someone on a tourist visa to get registered in a school in the USA?

It is possible to get admission, then you can pay fees or deposit. Once you have your receipts from school. You can apply for a student visa while still active on tourist visa. Then your tourist visa will be canceled and u are issued a study visa.. Read this below 👇 from the Internet to further convince you.

If you are in the United States on a visitor visa, you can still change to F-1 student status to reflect your new circumstances. If you want to do this, you will already need to have been accepted to study at a U.S. academic institution, and fulfill all the other requirements of the F-1 visa.

Plenty of persons i know did it. It is very easy.
Very very easy.
Once you have admission and have paid deposit.
You are good.
Do it from inside USA.

Visit with your tourist visa and do the remaining. It takes a short time. Matter of two weeks or less or slightly more.




When

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by skillmyman(m): 3:55pm On Dec 26, 2023
bros,
what you can do is to learn a digital freelance skill that you can work remotely with.
that way, you can be saving and plan to either return to naija or stay back without her.
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Berankis: 3:57pm On Dec 26, 2023
Ahmed0336:
I was discussing with my wife the other day and she brought the issue of relocating.
I told her I don't have plans to leave so she can go ahead. But as for the kids, they'd definitely leave this country when the time is right.
No be me woman go show shege for another man's land undecided
She go still show you shege for here. Only them no Government backing for here. Once you don marry or dating, shege na normal thing, na to just try make e no go pro max grin

5 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by CoronaVirusPro: 4:00pm On Dec 26, 2023
Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

Hello Hommie,

Talk to your wife and try to amend issues. Don't consume negative energy! Sit her down and talk sense into her head.

Let me tell you the truth. the ball is in your court. Its far easier to make it as a couple than an individual. Let her know your joint effort can do alot if you choose peace.

Do not consume negative energy's. Stay positive and focused. The future of you and your kids is at stake and you must not mess it up!

Keep your family matters personal! Those you are explaining to, who are charging you up, experience same too but won't admit. They out for destruction! Same way your wife is also in bad company`s who are misorientating her.

3 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by LooneyLester: 4:02pm On Dec 26, 2023
Create a folder and document whatever your wife is doing from images, videos etc.



So that when she tries to make a move on you, you then flip the switch

2 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Kingrshd3: 4:02pm On Dec 26, 2023
Adebaba1:
omo

which kind wahala be this, person go dey fear make him wife no throw am out

No matter what happens, don't leave God


As in ehn he surprise me too oo

1 Like

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Berankis: 4:03pm On Dec 26, 2023
Kingpele:
Deep ....I see alot of childish comments and am confuse how people will still bring personal stuff here...however my brother ,my advise is for u to give yourselves chance to adapt to your new environment...selfishness and greed is not good at all for marriage .....you only wanted to lay low so as to get paper next year common that's selfishness....u should take it easy and sake ways to earn respect and trust from your wife ...with it u could build lasting union even in Uk
E be like say this one no know wetin dey happen for that place? Na to thread with caution for the guy, if not "you have 3months to leave the UK" na your next battle. It's better to lay low and try getting a sponsorship job yourself to break from the shackles.
Women have been proven to be extremely wicked with power. So be careful@Op.
They are loving when they are solely dependent but when they start contributing or sponsoring grin you will understand life much better

5 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Kaysalas(m): 4:04pm On Dec 26, 2023
modernWays:


Is your wife in medical profession that you have to allow her to be the main applicant?

In whatever you do, never allow women to have upper hands in marriage, they will use it against you in a twinkle of eyes to achieve their selfish interests.
I am beginning to understand some of my father's decisions many years later

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by stormborn28(m): 4:05pm On Dec 26, 2023
BloomingDale:


As if the man hold body for Nigeria. Abeg make we hear word. Gossiping like a market woman.


You go dey fvck well well oooooooo

2 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by ijobaoke: 4:10pm On Dec 26, 2023
Dis one no sabi Serpent 🐍(woman)
Kingpele:
Deep ....I see alot of childish comments and am confuse how people will still bring personal stuff here...however my brother ,my advise is for u to give yourselves chance to adapt to your new environment...selfishness and greed is not good at all for marriage .....you only wanted to lay low so as to get paper next year common that's selfishness....u should take it easy and sake ways to earn respect and trust from your wife ...with it u could build lasting union even in Uk

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by faithfull18(f): 4:11pm On Dec 26, 2023
Hmmn.
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by WilsonBright935: 4:14pm On Dec 26, 2023
Eteka1:
what's COS?
Certificate of Sponsorship.

2 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by DaddyJapan(m): 4:15pm On Dec 26, 2023
Beuberry:

Yes you ll be sent back. So try n make pea e with her always

Are you sure you read his question at all?

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Once he gets his ILR, his continued stay in the UK would no longer be contingent on his wife's status.

Citizenship or ILR – If you have secured your ILR status or submitted your nationality application, getting a divorce or separating is unlikely to affect your immigration status, and you will not be required to the leave the UK.
Source: https://www.wardhadaway.com/insights/updates/divorce-immigration-does-divorce-affect-your-right-to-remain-in-the-uk

1 Like

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by saysoo: 4:17pm On Dec 26, 2023
Cutehector:
Why 9ja men dey knowingly put themselves in a situation to die before their time.


The only time i'd take my family abroad is when my wife is all grown up and nobody is looking at her again.
People are still looking at Omotola, Folurunsho Alakija, just a few.
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by CursedOsuPigs: 4:17pm On Dec 26, 2023
Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

In the UK, you can't be certain of getting papers next year. To get ILR, you must have been in the UK for 5 years. Have you been in the UK for 5 years?

My brother, don't rock the boat o, here in the UK, na women get upper hand o. Endure till you get ILR or go find one fat Oyinbo wey you go dey knack secretly and get ILR through her.

Give me your ears, no confront your wife o. That Kain woman for close eye throw you away.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by elmagnifico411(m): 4:25pm On Dec 26, 2023
You earn considerably okay in Nigeria, u can foot all the bills alone and still have savings, and u decided to follow one woman that got a student visa to the UK, what is your problem? Brothers especially, lemme let u know now that Japa is not for everyone. What wrong with these generation of men? Can't u guys see that the women are winning this one? Na wa oh

10 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by KrisUc(m): 4:29pm On Dec 26, 2023
Baba try and mend the cracked walls in your marriage, there are still Naija couples who have lived together in the UK for about 20years without noise. Think about your children's sanity, even if you're abroad, don't train them the abroad way.
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Harddiskng(m): 4:31pm On Dec 26, 2023
joebeckz:


You should double your efforts to make more money at the moment.
Your wife can't do anything now cos the hours she is getting for work won't sustain her should she chase you out of the UK.


Lol You are assuming that her new UK lover no get job. Wrong assumption Nigerian women mostly tend to lean towards a higher bidder.

It's rare to find one that doesn’t cheesy grin

3 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Beuberry(f): 4:33pm On Dec 26, 2023
Free2Fly:


Shut up, this imp
Dear imp, you should stfu!

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by Dliss(m): 4:35pm On Dec 26, 2023
Kingpele:
Deep ....I see alot of childish comments and am confuse how people will still bring personal stuff here...however my brother ,my advise is for u to give yourselves chance to adapt to your new environment...selfishness and greed is not good at all for marriage .....you only wanted to lay low so as to get paper next year common that's selfishness....u should take it easy and sake ways to earn respect and trust from your wife ...with it u could build lasting union even in Uk

It doesn't matter how 'good' you are, if a person is tired of you, they will still get rid of you. You are not being logical. Leave sentiments and face reality.

5 Likes

Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by overseasnbeyond: 4:37pm On Dec 26, 2023
There is a process to every claim, she can't just claim DV without report by the police.
The law isn't that crazy.



WilsonBright935:


Chief... It actually depends on what your wife tells the Home Office or the police. If she accuse you of domestic abuse, I'm afraid Home Office/ court could give you 3 months ultimatum to pack your things and leave the UK.

You might as well be given grace to look for COS within a given time.

The best thing now is to secretly look for COS (without her notice if possible). But for the main time, lay low.


And try and work back to back so far your working hour is not restricted. Gather enough money so you can rely on if things go south.

Shalom!!!
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by imagrg(m): 4:38pm On Dec 26, 2023
This one wife don fvck am. grin
Re: JAPA: My Marriage Shakes by WilsonBright935: 4:40pm On Dec 26, 2023
overseasnbeyond:
There is a process to every claim, she can't just claim DV without report by the police.
The law isn't that crazy.




Pray you don't fall victim chief


UK laws, policies etc are crazier than you think.

5 Likes 1 Share

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