Eleven people were hanging on a
rope, under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to
carry them all, so they decided that
one had to leave,
, Because otherwise they were all
going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that
person, until the woman gave a very
touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let
go of the rope, because, as a woman,
she was used to giving up everything
for her husband and kids or for men
in general,
and was used to always making
sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all
the men started clapping

"Husband was throwing darts at his wife's photo bt none hit d
target.
From another room wife called d husband-"honey what r u doin?"
.
.
.
.
.
Husband-'MISSING U..!'
ron where u@

baaack!!!
A NIGERIAN student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying:
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I
am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari
599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by
train.
Your son,
PAUL
The next day, PAUL gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving soN
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account.
Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad

Boy: Where re Ugoing?
Girl: 2commit Suicide.
Boy: Then y so much of make-up?
Girl: U Idiot! Tomorrow, my photo
will come in Dnewspaper

A bus loaded with passengers was
travelling from ph to lagos through
benin. Before d journey of 30 miles
began, an old woman in d bus told d
conductor nd driver to alert her once
they got to benin. They agreed nd the journey began. Soon, d old woman fell
asleep and since nobody else was
dropping at benin, the conductor nd
driver forgot abt d old woman. 5 miles
into lagos nd 15 away from benin, d old
woman woke up nd asked if they had reached benin. The driver nd conductor
realized their mistakes nd apologized
but d old woman would not take it. She
complained hard nd so, d driver on the
consent of d other passengers who had
pity on her, reversed nd went back to benin. Afta a long nd tireless journey,
they arrived. D conductor in a haste to
make up for lost time told her that they
had reached benin so she could drop. He
started offloading her bags. But the old
woman shouted 'noooo, ayam dropping at lagos but my pickin say i should take
my drugs when i reach benin' D passengers
fainted.

wel m back ooo...who's happy to see me

kingron: Bokoharamist & Obama were having a discusion in a bar.

A guy walks in & asks them what's the discussion about ??

Bokoharamist: "We are planing to kill 14 million Nigerians & Angelina Jolie"
,
Guy: Why Angelina Jolie ??
, Bokoharamist turns to Obama, "See I told you, Nobody gives Dam about 14 million Nigerians

just can across this thread and I can't stop spreading this joke. Nice one

^^ laffn to it again

Doctor: Here is the medicine. Take four spoons daily.
Patient: But I don’t have four spoons in house. Do I have to buy one?

[b]A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?”

He was told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you
on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on and checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more countries... He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell...

Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, What do they do here?"

He was told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour..Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Nigerian devil comes and beats you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells---so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" asked the man.

Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the Indian devil is a former Govt. servant, so he comes in and signs the register and then goes to the canteen![/b][color=#990000][/color]

Once my lover invited me to her home. Whe I went there she wasn't there.Her sister was alone home. She was looking sexy. She askedme why don't we've sex now ? Suddenly I got up and walked towards my bike. That time my lover was standing at the door. She hugged me andsaid you won my test, I will marry you.
MORALE OF THE STORY: Always keep condoms in bike.

A pastor was praying for a man
possessed with demon[/color]. He said in the
name of Jesus,what do you want from
this man,speak up before i cast you
out this moment!."The demon answered;
I want him to win the [color=#000099]America lotto
draw worth $200billion[color=#006600][/color] tonight. The
pastor lowers the microphone and
whispered; get out of him and enter
into me!

AIIT EVERYTIME IS NOT JOKE..THIS IS SERIOUS MATTER
i'm a boy of 17yrs and in high school. The only problem is that about four years ago, i went to a youth christian church retreat and as the pastor was preaching, he talked about[b] masturbation[/b].Thats the first time ever i've
heard of it. He explained how its been done and urged the youth never to do such thing. I came
home after that three days retreat and i learnt many things bout God. Oneday, my eldest brother, brought a po,rn dvd disc to the house and hid it under his matress. I saw it and when nobody was in the house, i started to
watch it. I sat near the window with the remote in my hand. I erected very hard that since the day i
was born, i did not experience before. I enjoy the porn anytime no one is at home. My brother thought he is the
only one who watches the porn but he was wrong. This went on for about two weeks. Iwas
watching the po,rn and i brought out my hardthick pen.is to see it and i remembered what the pastor said at the retreat. I followed the same procedure and i enjoyed it equally as those acting it. I realise its very fantastic and awesome. Because my parents go to work and nobody stays at home on week days, i decided to pause school and be doing my sweet masturbation. I like it very much. When i came to high school, i refused to attend boarding.because i wont get my privacy to masturbate. My parents refused. But i said If they wont allow me to go 2 day school, i wont go to school at all. they agrd n let me be a day student. . Evn whn am sad or angry, imediatly i masturbate, i'll fil gud again. Am a very handsme boy, and many people tells me. But i dont care.I dnt follow girls too. In general, since d day i startd to masturbate,the issue of girls deflated from my mind. Now its been a lng time since i started and
i planned to quit bout a yr ago. I fasted and prayed. Fine i was able to stop for a month. Then i feel much urge like doing it. I started again. a few period, i prayed earnestly to God to take my life and let it be. He should restore everything i lost. But am still the same.Sometimes, i've been tickling the whole parts of my body and i feel infact great.Because of this i never mind to get a girlfriend. I dnt chase girls. I dnt sit near girls because they dnt attract me. Some thought i dnt like them. Mostly myclass mates. My mum was very proud of mebecause i'm not like my brother Or father if i may say. But she doesnt knw my story is different. I told some of my friends on the net (foreigners.) and they told me its nothing. Now,my only problem is aboutmy future. What will my
future be like? Will i be glued still to this masturbation even if am married? i had sex once with a friend who forced me and i ddnt enjoy it atall. After which i went and masturbated again. iTold a Doctor which came to check us up at school maybe he can get me some drugs. he said he'll take me to a pastor. I've never set my eyes onthat doctor again since then.
I
wnt seriouse advicefrnds,
i wsh u culd inbx me too.
Because i always
masturbate. Even today,
i've done it.

A man was starved of sex
because his wife had put 2 bed
thru CS. One day, the wife
said Eeyaa, my Love, I know
how u must be feeling because
of my condition; abeg take
this #2000 and look for
someone and satisfy urself.
The husband collected the
money and left, but returned
after 30 mins. The wife said,
Haba! So soon? and he
answered, I no go far, I just
enter this our neighbour
house! And the wife asked, I
hope she no collect money?
The man said she collected,
and the wife said, Abi she
dey craze? Abeg hold this
pikin for me, make i go
meet-am; d time wey she
born pikin new, I help her
husband free, why she go
collect money from u?

laaf it out !!!..
A man escapes from prison where
he has been for 15 years. He breaks
into a house to look for money and
guns and finds a young couple in
bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties
him to a chair, while tying the girl to
the bed he gets on top of her, kisses
her neck, then gets up and goes into
the bathroom. While he's in there,
the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped
convict, look at his clothes! He
probably spent lots of time in jail
and hasn't seen a woman in years. I
saw how he kissed your neck." If he
wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he
nauseates you. This guy is probably
very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love
you."
To which his wife responds: "He
wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas
whispering in my ear. He told me he
was gay, thought you were cute, and
asked me if we had any vaseline. I
told him it was in the bathroom. Be
strong honey. I love you too!!"

laaf it out !!!..
A man escapes from prison where
he has been for 15 years. He breaks
into a house to look for money and
guns and finds a young couple in
bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties
him to a chair, while tying the girl to
the bed he gets on top of her, kisses
her neck, then gets up and goes into
the bathroom. While he's in there,
the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped
convict, look at his clothes! He
probably spent lots of time in jail
and hasn't seen a woman in years. I
saw how he kissed your neck." If he
wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he
nauseates you. This guy is probably
very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love
you."
To which his wife responds: "He
wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas
whispering in my ear. He told me he
was gay, thought you were cute, and
asked me if we had any vaseline. I
told him it was in the bathroom. Be
strong honey. I love you too!!"

Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
"dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!"

Dry

kingron: Little boy kills a butterfly, dad says no
butter 4 2weeks!
Boy kills honeybee dad says no honey
for 2 weeks!
mum kills a cockroach, boy turns 2
dad & says u going 2 tell her or shall
I?****

kingron: @rare gem keep chuckling,its good 4 d (earth) health 3 rat in 9ja were arguing abt who had
more swag n effizy; 1st rat; I chop
food wit rat poison, I no die 2nd rat: I
dance awilo on top mouse trap,
nothing do me. 3rd rat: make una
bone dat tin!!! See dat cat wey dey go
so na me give am belle!(See swagger.laaf it out! nyc nyt peeps,dont sleep angry.

:-D

kingron: An Arab was interviewed at a US
Embassy.
CONSUL: Ur name, please?
ARAB: Abdul Aziz.
CONSUL: Sex?
ARAB: 6 times a week.
CONSUL: I mean, male or female?
ARAB: Both male n female. Sometimes
even camel.
CONSUL: Holy cow!
ARAB: Yes, cows n dogs, too.
CONSUL: Man, isn't dat hostile?
ARAB: Horsestyle, dogstyle, any style!
CONSUL: Oh dear!
ARAB: No deer,They run too fast, laaf it out

its funny

labaks: stalest!!!!!!

kingron,don't mind d guy,haterz club.

kingron: An Arab was interviewed at a US
Embassy.
CONSUL: Ur name, please?
ARAB: Abdul Aziz.
CONSUL: Sex?
ARAB: 6 times a week.
CONSUL: I mean, male or female?
ARAB: Both male n female. Sometimes
even camel.
CONSUL: Holy cow!
ARAB: Yes, cows n dogs, too.
CONSUL: Man, isn't dat hostile?
ARAB: Horsestyle, dogstyle, any style!
CONSUL: Oh dear!
ARAB: No deer,They run too fast, laaf it out

True joke nooni
U2 much 9s1

Serizly Dude u d bomb...

Guy,u r da bomb

kingron: A man dials his home and a strange
woman answers.
The man says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answers the
woman. "We don't have a maid," says
the man.
The woman says, "I was hired this
morning by the lady of the house."
The man says, "Well, this is her
husband. Is she there?"
The woman replies, "She is upstairs in
the bedroom with someone who I
figured was her husband."
The man is fuming and says to the
maid, "Listen, would you like to make
$50,000?"
The maid says, "What will I have to
do?" The man tells her, "I want you to
get my gun from the desk, and shoot
the witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down; the
man hears footsteps and then two
gun shots. The maid comes back to
the phone "What do I do with the
bodies?"
The man says, "Throw them in the
swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you
don't have a pool."
A long pause and the man says, "Is
this
08068321488

looool i waz reading dis after a long time nd smiling at my joke2

What Just Happened??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHTvBWuXPX4&itct=CEsQpDAiEwjqmPu-o6jgAhVLdOAKHXkiB-gyCWM0LWZlZWQtdVoYVUNPbFNsdVRGR2pDMGhZQlQwYkNQa0lR&hl=en&gl=NG&client=mv-google

And everything is going to the beat And everything is going to the beat And everything is going...

kingron:
CHINEKE MEI!!!! A guy named Chukwudi went for an acting audition, and he was picked. In the movie, he starred in a part where he was hit by a car. After production, the movie was a hit as it was released and started selling in the market. It got to his hometown and his mother watched how her son was killed she wept uncontrollably. A week later, Chukwudi went back home to visit his mother. When she saw him she got scared and thought that it was her son's ghost until he threw N25,000 at her. With this, the mother realized that her son was alive so she decided to pray for her son saying; Chukwudi my pikin, Na small motor jam u wey u bring dis big money! Now, as u dey go back 2 Lagos na caterpillar go jam u! YEEEPAAAA!

N25000 must have been a big money then.

kingron:
An Arab was interviewed at a US
Embassy.
CONSUL: Ur name, please?
ARAB: Abdul Aziz.
CONSUL: Sex?
ARAB: 6 times a week.
CONSUL: I mean, male or female?
ARAB: Both male n female. Sometimes
even camel.
CONSUL: Holy cow!
ARAB: Yes, cows n dogs, too.
CONSUL: Man, isn't dat hostile?
ARAB: Horsestyle, dogstyle, any style!
CONSUL: Oh dear!
ARAB: No deer,They run too fast, laaf it out

Use sense na.. this is stupidity