She should have given her ex her husband's account number. The child has been under the man's charge and authority

That's why one shouldn't marry a single mother no matter what!!! To avoid all these nonsense scenarios.

Like the money is what they've been surviving with
The money is for the child through the mother, anything they want to do with it, na dem sabi. That's not my business

tallfish145:
Is it right for a husband for demand for any money sent to his wife by her ex for the support of a child she got for him,ie the current husband's step child? Worthy to note that the child has been living with them for close to ten years the husband married the mother and has been paying the child school fees and feeding

Not too right.

TheWinterBird:
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

So the man that is using his money to cater for the child that's no his for 10 years na mumu bah. Continue. You guys are just funny and cruel. You can't take what you dish out to people.

tallfish145:
Is it right for a husband for demand for any money sent to his wife by her ex for the support of a child she got for him,ie the current husband's step child? Worthy to note that the child has been living with them for close to ten years the husband married the mother and has been paying the child school fees and feeding

If the mother knows what good for her, she should hand the money to her husband. (I am assuming the husband is responsible and has been taking care of the child from the ex).

He is your Husband. Husband o.
He took care of the child with the full knowledge it's not his.

Ordinarily, he shouldn't even let you accept gifts from your ex if he's very stable. If he did, then he has challenges and needed support for all the family.

It is his responsibility to provide for the family and if he has been up to his responsibility and has treated the child as family too. Then it is good you submit the money to him. He might give it back to you for the child's upkeep except it is huge.

My point is, it seem to me you had a healthy marriage without the money. Don't let the money make the difference. Otherwise, your husband matters little.

TheWinterBird:
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

nor arguing this with you but this is the reason men dint wife single mother..

Can u hear ursef?? Have u forgotten that this man has bn catering for this child for the past 10 years now with his own money without complain??

TheWinterBird:
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

If she hasn't been the one deciding the welfare of the child for the past 10 years, why will she start deciding now. Why do you want to cause trouble?

tallfish145:
Is it right for a husband for demand for any money sent to his wife by her ex for the support of a child she got for him,ie the current husband's step child? Worthy to note that the child has been living with them for close to ten years the husband married the mother and has been paying the child school fees and feeding

Yes the child support should go to him and not the wife if she is not the one footing the bills of the child. The reason why they pay child support is to help alleviate the financial stress for the one that is taking charge of the child. I'm this case the man is the one taking financial responsibility for the child's welfare.

What is the basis for the mother holding back the money when the man is the one footing all the bills of the child, what then is the essence of the child support? Is it for the woman to use it to buy a vehicle for her self or it should be channelled for the wellbeing of the child which the husband is already doing.

Let the money be given to the one who is footing the bills of the child.

udumosam23:
He is your Husband. Husband o.
He took care of the child with the full knowledge it's not his.

Ordinarily, he shouldn't even let you accept gifts from your ex if he's very stable. If he did, then he has challenges and needed support for all the family.

It is his responsibility to provide for the family and if he has been up to his responsibility and has treated the child as family too. Then it is good you submit the money to him. He might give it back to you for the child's upkeep except it is huge.

My point is, it seem to me you had a healthy marriage without the money. Don't let the money make the difference. Otherwise, your husband matters little.

Even if he is stable you can't deny a man his child because the mother married another person. No you can't do that,

Jewessgratitud3:
Demand for the money on what bases? Is he seeking refunds for the money he has spent on her for the past 10 years? I don't understand...

Only a childish man would do such. That kind of man can even encourage his wife to go collect money from other men and give him if he can be indicating interest in money sent by his fellow man to his stepdaughter. He wants to turn the girls father to a moneybag 💰. Some men sha.

It the woman I blame for showing. Since she doesn't have any intention of giving him the money,why show him in the first place?

Should shouldn't show him you mean? Did you know what will happen should he find out he collected money from her ex behind his back? Aren't you naive?
If he is her husband and has been responsible for the welfare of the family, showing him the money is not enough. Asking him what to do with it is reasonable if you have any iota of respect for your home.

When we advise foolish men, the will never listen. Never marry single mothers.

Imagine after carrying the burden of the child, which is not his, for 10 good years, isn't the mother suppose to hand the money sent by the deadbeat dad to her husband, for him to judiciously use it for the home? But No, she would rather use it for herself, and continue to let the foolish husband shoulder all the burden.

TheWinterBird:
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

This is why no man should ever marry a single mum in whatever situation. The money he is using to foot the bills of another man's child is plucked from the trees isn't it? If the man calculate how much he has spent for ten years on the child as child support for that ten years can you pay?

What is the essence zof child support, to support the child isn't it, someone is already doing that optimally for over a decade. The best is to give that person who has been caring for the child financially.

When the child support hasn't landed did the woman deen it fit to provide financially for her child ? Did she argue on who to spend Money on the child? Did she argue on who to pay tuition fees and medical fees? If no then she hasn't been supporting the child financially but the man. He deserves the child support.

If you say it should go to the woman then she should be prepared to use the child support money to start paying the child's school fees, medical bills, feeding, clothing, housing etc

No man should be in this kind of disfunctioonal home where there are potentially two husbands and intricate relationships. No man should carry the burden of another, single mum's comes with plethora of baggages.

udumosam23:


Should shouldn't show him you mean? Did you know what will happen should he find out he collected money from her ex behind his back? Aren't you naive?
If he is her husband and has been responsible for the welfare of the family, showing him the money is not enough. Asking him what to do with it is reasonable if you have any iota of respect for your home.

You don't get the point. Hes demanding for the money. Is it right?

Offpoint1:
I wouldn't take or allow such money in my house, unless it was sent to the kid himself.

E get why

Now this is a man speaking 📌

Jewessgratitud3:
Demand for the money on what bases? Is he seeking refunds for the money he has spent on her for the past 10 years? I don't understand...

Only a childish man would do such. That kind of man can even encourage his wife to go collect money from other men and give him if he can be indicating interest in money sent by his fellow man to his stepdaughter. He wants to turn the girls father to a moneybag 💰. Some men sha.

It the woman I blame for showing. Since she doesn't have any intention of giving him the money,why show him in the first place?

You will never disappoint, critical thinking skills is seldom available these days

linearity:


Since the money is for the child, just use it to pay the school fees of the child, case close!

The mother is unreasonable and ungrateful here, the man have accepted you and your child from a third party, he is paying the school fees and upkeep of the child.

Then your ex gave you money for the child and you want to keep it for yourself? Her actions is painting the guy to be a fool like a mogu, monkey!

Worst case the guy will take his hands off the child, she should suse the hidden money to pay school fees, clothing, medical bills. That child support is a token compare to what the man is spending.

okoroemeka:
for a man to raise a child in that circumstances shows a good man with a good heart and for a wife to disclose such sensitive information to her husband shows an equally good woman,this is not a question about money,it is a matter of bruised egos,the best way forward is to divide the money 60% to the man and 40% to the woman

What is the 40 for the woman for, will she use the money for herself? If yes then she doesn't deserve a penny from that.

The money fis for child support, someone that is spending more than that should be the one to get it. If the man leaves the money and hands up his hands from the child will that child support handle all the bills of the child?

Ungratefulness and greed can actually take away ones sanity and the will to make a good decision

linearity:


The guy who use his own money to pay for school fees and upkeep of the child is the mugu, I guess.

Child support is for the child and not for the mom to keep and she go directly to what concerns the child, if the mom is the one that makes the decision on how to direct that money, if I am in the husband’s I will ask her to start from the school fees.

The lady is greedy and ungrateful, she will never meet a better man.

The man should take his hands off and allow her use the money to sort everything that concerns the child from tuition, medicals, clothing and feeding. Let's see if she won't change her mind, ungratefulness and greed is a bad combination

Jewessgratitud3:
Demand for the money on what bases? Is he seeking refunds for the money he has spent on her for the past 10 years? I don't understand...

Only a childish man would do such. That kind of man can even encourage his wife to go collect money from other men and give him if he can be indicating interest in money sent by his fellow man to his stepdaughter. He wants to turn the girls father to a moneybag 💰. Some men sha.

It the woman I blame for showing him the money. Since she doesn't have any intention of giving him the money, why show him in the first place?

Don't marry single mom, they won't hear.

TheWinterBird:
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

Thanks to your mental blindness, you didn't see where the poster said the man had been caring for the kid for the past decade with his own finances, right?

Free2Fly:


Go with the depositions of the 3 posters above.

Don't wait for the nairaland kids and confusionists, especially that one called Kobojonkie, to wake up and start filling here with their putrefying and puerile advice/posts and arguments.

Especially that kid....


Very annoying somebody.

Kooldon:
He has been fathering this baby with his resources for ten years without issue. So why is it an issue now when he demanded this money for proper savings?

Na ur papa born u

Didn’t one child here claim he wants to marry a woman with three children? Let’s hope he was only trolling. I can never take you lot serious.

Marital issues will always occur when you allow a third party to interfere in the marriage.

I think the family need to define how they spend their money irrespective of the source it's coming from. I don't understand how one should be having issues accessing money belonging to his/her partner except there is an already existing issues that has not been settle. The problem to me is far beyond the said money

tallfish145:
Is it right for a husband for demand for any money sent to his wife by her ex for the support of a child she got for him,ie the current husband's step child? Worthy to note that the child has been living with them for close to ten years the husband married the mother and has been paying the child school fees and feeding

If you can't trust the child's finances with his step father, why is he bearing that title? Please dont cause problems in your home. Do the needful.

I will let her do her wish, I can't and won't demand such money!
The way she handles it will determine if I will continue to cater for the child or let her and the real father continue.

TheWinterBird:
Well, the money is meant for the child and not the husband, therefore he has no right to "demand" it. I reckon he wants to pocket it or use it for his own interests. The money should remain with the mother of the child whom it was sent to; she should decide what should be done with it.

You just said it senlessly and stupidly Luke the woman you are.Ain't surprised.

Juliearth:







If you can't trust the child's finances with his step father, why is he bearing that title? Please cause problems in your home. Do the needful.

I don catch you today!!!
Judging from previous comments from your Gender here, I can't believe a lady is capable of this critical thinking - talk true na Man you be!