This is actually me creating an account for the first time on nairaland after been a guest for years.
Please moderators should assist in pushing it forward

I've been in a relationship with this female for a year and one month. So today, she told me that she's contemplating a breakup. Then I asked her the reasons. She told me that she went to the village. Her mom and her uncles and her relatives were asking her about marriage. Then she told them about me. I am actually 21 years old and she is 22 years old. They said to her that they can't really allow it because of the age difference and financial stability on my side and Why is she in a relationship with someone in the university?


So today we discussed, she told me everything that has been happening and what they said . We have been very, really happy in the relationship and we're dating to marry.

We are both in our final year of university, and we've been in the relationship for one year, and I really love her, and she loves me too. But due to her family decisions, I didn't actually try to fight or go against her family decision or prove anything to them. I was like, okay, it's better that she listens to maybe they understood better or have their reasons.

And also,I told her even though she listens to them, she should not allow them to ride her into making bad decision. I told her that, okay, it's fine, I'm going to leave you for you to have peace of mind, and also peace of mind from your family, so you will not have any kind of hatred towards me or her mother resenting her or me. Because if I try to prove stubborn or anything you know how mother's and relatives can act out,So I decided to grant her request of breaking up

So please, what other opinions do you guys feel like I should have given or gotten?

xoconi:
This is actually me creating an account for the first time on nairaland after been a guest for years.
Please moderators should assist in pushing it forward

I've been in a relationship with this female for a year and one month. So today, she told me that she's contemplating a breakup. Then I asked her the reasons. She told me that she went to the village. Her mom and her uncles and her relatives were asking her about marriage. Then she told them about me. I am actually 21 years old and she is 22 years old. They said to her that they can't really allow it because of the age difference and financial stability on my side and Why is she in a relationship with someone in the university?


So today we discussed, she told me everything that has been happening and what they said . We have been very, really happy in the relationship and we're dating to marry.

We are both in our final year of university, and we've been in the relationship for one year, and I really love her, and she loves me too. But due to her family decisions, I didn't actually try to fight or go against her family decision or prove anything to them. I was like, okay, it's better that she listens to maybe they understood better or have their reasons.

And also,I told her even though she listens to them, she should not allow them to ride her into making bad decision. I told her that, okay, it's fine, I'm going to leave you for you to have peace of mind, and also peace of mind from your family, so you will not have any kind of hatred towards me or her mother resenting her or me. Because if I try to prove stubborn or anything you know how mother's and relatives can act out,So I decided to grant her request of breaking up

So please, what other opinions do you guys feel like I should have given or gotten?

O boy, Nigeria is hard.
After school, you'll have to first fight to survive before thinking of marrying someone that's even older than you.
In the next 10yrs, you may not be able to find any reasonable work doing.
So, how long can she wait, especially as the pressure for her relatives will continue to build up?

Free2Fly:


O boy, Nigeria is hard.
After school, you'll have to first fight to survive before thinking of marrying someone that's even older than you.
In the next 10yrs, you may not be able to find any reasonable work doing.
So, how long can she wait, especially as the pressure for her relatives will continue to build up?

I really took time to think of this too, the pressure would be too much and I don't want it to stain on me or push me to do things I wouldn't want to do or try to please her family by all means, so I just felt I let her be

xoconi:
This is actually me creating an account for the first time on nairaland after been a guest for years.
Please moderators should assist in pushing it forward

I've been in a relationship with this female for a year and one month. So today, she told me that she's contemplating a breakup. Then I asked her the reasons. She told me that she went to the village. Her mom and her uncles and her relatives were asking her about marriage. Then she told them about me. I am actually 21 years old and she is 22 years old. They said to her that they can't really allow it because of the age difference and financial stability on my side and Why is she in a relationship with someone in the university?


So today we discussed, she told me everything that has been happening and what they said . We have been very, really happy in the relationship and we're dating to marry.

We are both in our final year of university, and we've been in the relationship for one year, and I really love her, and she loves me too. But due to her family decisions, I didn't actually try to fight or go against her family decision or prove anything to them. I was like, okay, it's better that she listens to maybe they understood better or have their reasons.

And also,I told her even though she listens to them, she should not allow them to ride her into making bad decision. I told her that, okay, it's fine, I'm going to leave you for you to have peace of mind, and also peace of mind from your family, so you will not have any kind of hatred towards me or her mother resenting her or me. Because if I try to prove stubborn or anything you know how mother's and relatives can act out,So I decided to grant her request of breaking up

So please, what other opinions do you guys feel like I should have given or gotten?

You did the reasonable thing.

Nothing wrong in what you've done. U took the best decision

Your decisions to let go is the best for now. My advice to u is finish ur studies and focus on having a stable financial structure after then consider marriage.

If you miss any of the above, I swear you will end up becoming liability

xoconi:
This is actually me creating an account for the first time on nairaland after been a guest for years.
Please moderators should assist in pushing it forward

I've been in a relationship with this female for a year and one month. So today, she told me that she's contemplating a breakup. Then I asked her the reasons. She told me that she went to the village. Her mom and her uncles and her relatives were asking her about marriage. Then she told them about me. I am actually 21 years old and she is 22 years old. They said to her that they can't really allow it because of the age difference and financial stability on my side and Why is she in a relationship with someone in the university?


So today we discussed, she told me everything that has been happening and what they said . We have been very, really happy in the relationship and we're dating to marry.

We are both in our final year of university, and we've been in the relationship for one year, and I really love her, and she loves me too. But due to her family decisions, I didn't actually try to fight or go against her family decision or prove anything to them. I was like, okay, it's better that she listens to maybe they understood better or have their reasons.

And also,I told her even though she listens to them, she should not allow them to ride her into making bad decision. I told her that, okay, it's fine, I'm going to leave you for you to have peace of mind, and also peace of mind from your family, so you will not have any kind of hatred towards me or her mother resenting her or me. Because if I try to prove stubborn or anything you know how mother's and relatives can act out,So I decided to grant her request of breaking up

So please, what other opinions do you guys feel like I should have given or gotten?

@21 u carry woman matter for head,u still dey school,I sure say u still dey ur papa house

Misplaced priority

Next Tin u go give am belle begin run hup han dan

stacyadams:



@21 u carry woman matter for head,u still dey school,I sure say u still dey ur papa house

Misplaced priority

Next Tin u go give am belle begin run hup han dan

Lolz 😂 , I'm in school yeah. I'm doing well as a product designer and why do you think this way,?

princemillla:
Your decisions to let go is the best for now. My advice to u is finish ur studies and focus on having a stable financial structure after then consider marriage.

If you miss any of the above, I swear you will end up becoming liability

Thanks very much

xoconi:



Lolz 😂 , I'm in school yeah. I'm doing well as a product designer and why do you think this way,?

oh cool you are doing well at 21...

Women are distractions .

You're just 21, don't tie yourself down with unnecessary baggage.

You have a steep mountain ahead of you. Don't let the little income you're making deceive you into thinking you can effectively managed a family. You'd be shocked at how emaciated you'll look within weeks of assuming responsibilities as the head of the family at your age.

Graduate, serve, get a job whilst maintaining your business, build yourself, get your own place (furnished apartment), then you can talk about marriage.

Nazgul:
You're just 21, don't tie yourself down with unnecessary baggage.

You have a steep mountain ahead of you. Don't let the little income you're making deceive you into thinking you can effectively managed a family. You'd be shocked at how emaciated you'll look within weeks of assuming responsibilities as the head of the family at your age.

Graduate, serve, get a job whilst maintaining your business, build yourself, get your own place (furnished apartment), then you can talk about marriage.

Thanks very much,I really appreciate this ❤️

You are not ready for marriage,let her go. I experienced similar thing

Let her go.

She has met someone else during the festive period.

One of those guys that came with plenty cash.

At 21 years this should not be yours priority. By 24 she probably would have been married to someone. While you at 33 may still be single.

I beg u in the name of whatever you serve, allow her to go..

take time and build yourself.
you shouldn't be talking about serious love at 21.
its a cold world. Brace up.

OP would come to the reality of why his female age peers marry earlier than their male counterparts. It is biological and evolutionary. I don't see anything wrong with it. As a man, you are expected to be the provider regardless of where you are. Earning the ability to provide for and protect your family takes time, which is still nascent at your current level. Due to prevailing globalisation, competition for fewer jobs and "modernity", women are expected to "contribute". However, women, being hypergamous species, have not changed the need/desire for a provider and protector as qualities they want in a husband.

My own problem is that by the time you are in your thirties, your female contemporaries who didn't marry when they were much younger would begin to parrot mumbo-jumbo terms such as "paedophile" when you target women in their twenties for relationships. Note: these are the same women who told you to your face that your wife is in SS3 because they cannot date men at the same level as them. Fine by me. But don't expect me to date you in your thirties. You cannot deride me when we were much younger and then, expect me to put up with your antics because you did not marry earlier.

OP, apologies for my rants. But na the nonsense wey I dey read on TwitterNG and black American Twitter where women in their 30s try to guilt their male contemporaries to date them whereas they expressly told these men to avoid them when both parties were in their 20s.

I detest dishonest people, especially those who try to change the goalpost in the middle of the game.

X

You've made the best decision man.

I know it pains you because probably, she is your first love and you are entwined in a young beautiful romance. It would have been a lovely memory down the lane if the family approved it. (though you being the younger one come at a disadvantage).

Getting into a relationship with a person that one or both families don't approve of comes with a lot of headaches due to overthinking and rationalizations.
Some do surmount it by going ahead with the relationship whether anybody likes it or not. It isn't worth the stress, however. Anyways, love overcome.

The reality here is that if you are not coming from a strong and wealthy family, getting married will not be easy for you by this age. Considering your age and other goals of yours. Except you have a profitable source of income.

Nothing wrong with getting married early. But you must set your priorities right. Except you just want to foolishly hope your way into a better future, struggling with your pregnant wife to the perceived promised land.

Your girlfriend in question will not want a delay in marriage after their graduation. Especially when well-established suitors are attracted to her like moths to a light bulb. The love needs to be strong for her not to fall by the wayside.

You are hurt. But you just have to move on.

Women date and marry men higher and better than them. You can't blame them. It's simply evolutionary biology.

Think of how to build yourself and become a much better man. With time you'll find a woman better than her. After all, you still got age and vigor by your side.

Thanks.

CaveAdullam:
You've made the best decision man.

I know it pains you because probably, she is your first love and you are entwined in a young beautiful romance. It would have been a lovely memory down the lane if the family approved it. (though you being the younger one come at a disadvantage).

Getting into a relationship with a person that one or both families don't approve of comes with a lot of headaches due to overthinking and rationalizations.
Some do surmount it by going ahead with the relationship whether anybody likes it or not. It isn't worth the stress, however. Anyways, love overcome.

The reality here is that if you are not coming from a strong and wealthy family, getting married will not be easy for you by this age. Considering your age and other goals of yours. Except you have a profitable source of income.

Nothing wrong with getting married early. But you must set your priorities right. Except you just want to foolishly hope your way into a better future, struggling with your pregnant wife to the perceived promised land.

Your girlfriend in question will not want a delay in marriage after their graduation. Especially when well-established suitors are attracted to her like moths to a light bulb. The love needs to be strong for her not to fall by the wayside.

You are hurt. But you just have to move on.

Women date and marry men higher and better than them. You can't blame them. It's simply evolutionary biology.

Think of how to build yourself and become a much better man. With time you'll find a woman better than her. After all, you still got age and vigor by your side.

Thanks.

Thanks very for this, I'm really surprised I'm getting understanding commentaries concerning the matter. I've taking in what you said as a solid advice and reminder

I feel your pain man.

I get jealous when I see Americans and these football players getting married very early in life to their age mates.

Nothing beats getting married to a woman you love at a very young age, make your research, the love, in most cases, is always genuine and true,as if like a fairly tale.

But our reality is way different here in Nigeria, hate it or love it, our economy has very high impact on our romance life.

I'd tell you to stop dating to marry until a certain age so as to avoid future heartbreaks like this.

Simp spotted




This one go be woman wrapper