The Algorithm of Successful Leadership in Relationship and Business



"Weakness is a woman not being strong enough to challenge a man to a fight

vulnerability is a woman opening up about her weakness"

The only quote youll need to fully understand this article

this post will be quite lenghty and i assure you 10 minutes spent reading this will save you 10 years of trial and error


Most men complain their girlfriends have many male and female friends that she tell all her problems to while neglecting them, THE MAIN BOYFRIEND

same as most fathers that complain they have a hard time bonding with their daughters and their daughters would rather bond with their distant uncles or aunts than bond with them, THE FATHER


And its all because of 2 little misunderstanding from both parties:

i) SHE DOESNT TRUST YOU AS HER SAFE PLACE TO CONFIDE IN

ii) YOU DONT UNDERSTAND A WOMANS DEFINITION OF SAFE PLACE


Men are logical and women are emotional. not 100% but a large part of men is logic with little emotions while a large part of women is emotions with little logic

that is, how it appears to logical man is different from how it appears to emotional women and one important word that differs in appearance to genders is 'SAFE PLACE'

Men by way of logic think safe place means barbed fences, armed security personnel each loaded with machine guns from Call of duty, fingerprint and voice recognition scanners etcetera etcetera

while women simply see a safe place as someone she can trust to be VULNERABLE WITH

as ubunja said, weakness is a woman being physically weak to challenge a man to a fight WHILE vulnerability is a woman opening up to someone about her weakness ie VULNERABILITY is a woman opening up to someone about her being physically weak to challenge a man to a fight AND expecting the person she opens up to not to use her vulnerability against her or shame her for it.
THE BEST WAY SOMEONE CAN NOT USE HER VULNERABILITY AGAINST HER IS BY THE PERSON PAIRING HER WEAKNESS WITH HIS/her STRENGHT


if a girl can tell you her deepest darkest secrets, it means she has taken a risk that you wont tell anyone else AND THAT MEANS SHE TRUSTS YOU TO BE VULNERABLE WITH HENCE SHE CONSIDERS YOU HER SAFE PLACE


lets let that digest for a moment.

A-ha! right

yes of course, it was too for me

lets amplify what it means for a woman to be vulnerable to someone

There are two type of girl weakness:

Primary weakness: weakness that women isnt allowed to have and would not be forgiven by society for ie cooking skills, washing skills, cleaning skills, her physique ie her weight, her complexion, wrinkles etc etc

Secondary weakness: weakness that women may have and can be forgiven by society for ie ability to carry heavy loads, her brokeness (a broke woman is not shamed in patriarchial society)

say a girl cant carry a heavy load -- HER SECONDARY WEAKNESS. she looks for someone she can trust to carry her heavy load who wont use it against her tomorrow. society will excuse her for not being able to carry a heavy load since physical activity is a mans world. Regardless of this fact, she purposely risk exposing her secondary weakness to you to guage if she can be comfortable opening up her primary weakness to you.

ie she risks telling you she is too weak to lift a heavy load (secondary weakness) and observe your reactions before she then tells you her real body count (primary weakness)

she cant spend money well. she looks for someone who can spend her money well for her and wont judge her tomorrow for her bad spending habits or her inability to get things done for herself.



weakness is a woman not being able to cook BUT VULNERABILITY IS A WOMAN OPENING UP TO A MAN ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO COOK.

weakness is a woman not being able to spell ie lack formal education but vulnerability is a woman telling/hinting @ a man she cant spell/didnt go to school. a safe place.

weakness is a woman not being being able to be a woman due to hinderances placed on herself by herself or the society and vulnerability is that woman opening up to you about it. you cant fully shame a woman that shes broke but you can shame a woman that she isnt a virgin.

you cant shame a woman if she lost her virginity by being faithful to one guy but you can shame a woman if shes engaged in multiple threesomes and have anal piercing

understand this: a woman primary weakness can be another woman seconday weakness. and another woman secondary weakness can be another woman primary weakness. all in all, theyre considered weakness and the moment she opens up to you about them, she takes a huge risk and doesnt expect you to shame or mock her for it. SHE EXPECTS YOU TO PAIR HER WEAKNESS WITH YOUR STRENGHT


LEARN FROM JOSEPH IN THE BIBLE

when he found out mary, mother of jesus was pregnant with a child that he knew he didnt put in her womb, he didnt call her out. the people might stone her to death if they found out about her infidelity instead he made a plan to secretely divorce her so her "weakness/weak moment" wouldnt be found out by anyone else. mary could have easily pinned the child on joseph but she didnt. she told joseph the child wasnt his and she didnt know how the child got to her womb. by doing so, mary was vulnerable with her ignorance and supposed infidelity as a woman about to be married to joseph TRUSTING JOSEPH WOULDNT use her ability to be truthful inspite of her impending marriage crumbling AGAINST her.

and guess what joseph did. its quite evident unno. jesus was known as the son of a carpenter AND NOT REGARDED AS A BASTARD. mary was alive and wasnt stoned as a LovePeddler.

mary took a risk and revealed her weakness to her fiancee then, joseph AND joseph paired mary's weakness with his strenght: HIS DISCRETION! (his ability to keep a secret)

and trust me, the kind of genuinue love and openess thatll flow in jesus earthly parents relationship from that moment henceforth ...o boy! all the history books and scrolls wont be enough to contain it

vulnerability isnt just a woman opening up about her weakness to someone. its also her taking a risk to reveal her FEARS, DESIRES and HOPES to someone with the hope that she doesnt get taken advantage of or shamed


ie she cant cook the kind of food that makes you happy as a wife/ girlfriend/daughter--HER WEAKNESS. you have the money to put her in a school where she can learn AND NOT INVOLVING ANY OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS. at this point, your discretion to cover up for her and your money is YOUR STRENGHT -- you align your strenghts with her weaknesses.

she fears youll leave her because shes small breasted for a busty girl out there
tell her youve seen how those busty women age with time and you wouldnt want to end up with a busty woman that wouldnt even make you happy when shes aged

she fears youll cheat on her with her friend. tell her youve been betrayed before by your friend when he slept with your girlfriend BEHIND YOUR BACK and how broken you were. tell her you wouldnt want To make another soul pass through the agony and sleepless nights you went through

Ill tell you one BIG shocker NOW.

you know that most girls hate the sight of blood. thats why most of these girls skip going to hospitals and prefer home treatments and why most of these girls skip studying medicine and surgery. why. because theyre exposed to the sight of blood while studying that course.

but guess what. the sight of blood is inevitable for ALL GIRLS LIVING. how
because they experience their period where their unfertilized eggs are flushed out every month

her weakness migh be hating the sight of blood EVEN IF ITS HER OWN BLOOD while your strenght is YOUR ABILITY to withstand the sight of blood AND reassure her period blood stains is a reflection of her being a real woman to carry your children and youll still love her blood sweats urine and tears or another of your strenght could be your ability to support her by keeping a spare pad around your house for her when she comes visiting or timing her period so youll know when to take off the white sheets off the bed and replace with another color that could hide stains so you can quickly wash whenevrr her leaks occurs when she aint around (yeah, she noticed trust me) or reading about foods a girl on her period should eat and foods to avoid. IF HER WEAKNESS IS READING OR INABILITY TO GATHER KNOWLEDGE to take care of herself, then your strenght is the ability to gather the knowledge to take care of her properly as YOUR woman.

ill tell you a story that drives your learning home.this was months before this school of thought dawned on me

theres this girl who came visiting my boyfriend in my hostel. at one point she wanted to use the toilet. this was a boys toilet mind you. you all know how messy a room with 4 boys toilet can be. at that point, her weakness was actually feeling uncomfortable using a dirty toilet. her weakness was actually her being mocked by her boyfriend and his friends for being the most cleaniest girl in town for indirectly hinting that the boys toilet was dirty

she took that risk TO BE VULNERABLE with her weakness and whispered in her boyfriends ear.

next thing you know, my friend got up, fetched water and took some soap and gave the toilet a thorough washing fit for use only by a royal princess ass. it was quite funny then cus this concept was alien to me then but we all in the room kept quiet.

and trust me when i tell you, this girl although older than him became ride or die at his beck and call. and i as his friend got some free stuffs from my friends relationship with this girl. theyre still friends till this day. last i heard, he slept at her place in her familys house for some few days before coming home. i wouldnt be shocked if she gave him money he used to transport himself back home


they all say followers choose their leaders. but the part they leave out is leaders can also choose whom to lead and whom not to REGARDLESS of the fact that followers chosed first.
The fact a girl saw you and liked you first doesnt mean you owe her any obligation to marry her if she isnt the girl you fancy.

what does this mean in essence you might ask.
when a girl brings her weakness to you, its because she trusts you as her potential safe place and you have the free will as humans to decide if you want to pair her weakness with your strenght.

if you decide not to, its fine. if you decide to, understand this: SOMETHING WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING WELL



and theres a beautiful part about this writeup: IT DOESNT JUST APPLIES TO WOMEN

your younger brother could choose to be vulnerable to you after your fathers passing. your shy nerdy boyfriend could choose to be vulnerable to you about his inability to approach girls. your coworker could choose to be vulnerable to you about his/her inability to use a feature in microsoft excel.

what do you do in this instance

You pair their weakness (lack of a father figure, inability to approach girls, inability to operate a computer software) with your strenghts (YOUR ABILITIES)

incase you cant do it all, DONT MOCK OR SHAME THEM FOR CHOOSING TO BE VULNERABLE TO YOU.

credit: Ubunja Miseducation, The Adventures of Pickmeisha


cc: ubunja
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