My Story….

International parental child abduction is the removal or retention of a child outside their country of habitual residence in breach of another parent or guardian’s custody rights.

The US States Department estimates that over 480 children are abducted yearly by a parent into the United States while over 1,000 children are abducted yearly by a parent out of the United States.

On June 5th 2023, I woke up as a victim of International Parental Child Abduction. I called my daughter’s boarding school to talk to her only to find out that her mother had picked her up from school within an hour of dropping her off on June 2nd 2023 and flown out to the US the same evening. She had threatened to do just that but I thought good sense would prevail so it wasn’t something I took too seriously until it happened especially since there was an existing court order specifically addressing the issue.

She had lied to the school that she needed to take my daughter for an urgent immunization and then further emotionally blackmailed my daughter that she needed her help on getting a US Work Visa approved in the United States without letting her father know.

I was in total shock and had no idea what to do. I wasn’t aware of anyone who had gone through the same pain and most people had no idea what could be done about it. Google also wasn’t much help so I immediately contacted the US State Department because my daughter is a dual citizen of both the US and Nigeria to find out what my options were. I also called my lawyer in Nigeria who advised that I immediately get a documented response from the school.

The US State Department referred me to their website on the issue where I learned about the Hague Convention. The Hague Convention is a multilateral treaty that provides an expeditious method to return a child who was wrongfully taken by a parent from one country to another country. It seemed like the appropriate solution but unfortunately after consulting with about 3 lawyers in the US, I found out that Nigeria wasn’t a signatory to the convention and lost all hope of ever seeing my daughter back in Nigeria or being actively part of her life until she’s 18.

I know most people are not aware of parental child abduction and many people look at it simply as a dispute between couples but the emotional strain is difficult to describe. I felt like I had lost a child, had difficulty focusing at work or sleeping at night. I picked up some bad habits to help take my mind away from it but it just wouldn’t go away.

To make things worse, madam became more hostile as she controlled access to my daughter, refused to share an address other than the city they were located or discuss anything that has to do with future access. She now wanted to define my access based on whatever was acceptable to her only. The most painful part was seeing my daughter online chatting with friends, knowing she now had an active iPhone (Technology has a way of leaving tracks) without her being able to tell me where they were. Her mother had emotionally further blackmailed her that if your father knows where you are, he will bundle you to Nigeria. That further made her obviously more antagonistic towards any kind of contact with me and became obvious down the road when I was able to eventually get her phone number.

In the process of dealing with all this emotionally and trying to figure out what to do, I got a message from my lawyer in Nigeria, that madam had taken me to court in Lagos further leading to more stress both financially and emotionally.

Luckily a close friend of mine had been doing some research and ran into the UCCJEA. The UCCJEA is uniform state law regarding child jurisdiction in child custody cases and considers foreign courts as a state of the United States for the purpose of determining and enforcing child custody determinants. The challenge though is that it is different from state to state and for you to file an enforcement action against someone, you need to be absolutely sure of their location. I contacted the US state department again, and I was given the list of lawyers who specialize in UCCJEA especially for foreign child abduction cases.

Although Madam had told me they were in Houston, I wasn’t sure if they were in Houston or Atlanta , so I had to employ a private investigator to find out their exact location. With the help of technology, they were able to narrow them down to a county in Texas. Luckily an Angel showed up unexpectedly with their exact address by the end of July 2023. Meanwhile during this period I was now receiving threats of blackmail from madam through mutual friends to back down and move on. How does a father explain to her daughter years later that he stopped trying to find her because her mother tried to blackmail him?


In August 2023, the lawyers referred to me by the US State Department filed an enforcement action against madam in Texas to recover my daughter (All you need is a CTC of your court judgment in Nigeria and an address where you believe your daughter is. Took me about a month to figure that out too). During the hearing, Madam’s lawyer was able to identify a loophole where the Judge in Texas needed to consult the Judge in Nigeria on whether to enforce the case due to the pending lawsuit Madam filed in Nigeria after the abduction.

Unfortunately all efforts to contact Nigeria failed so the case stalled. I tried again to negotiate Access but Madam will not bulge. Now she wants $10,000 before any negotiation will take place. At that point, I just gave up and understood that I wouldn’t be having active participation in my daughter's life until she is 18. I had to move on with my life. The process had taken a toll on me. I wasn’t going to let it define my life going forward. Moreover everyone kept saying, don’t worry she will be 18 soon. She will look for you.

Fortunately for me, at the end of October, the Nigeria case came up and the Judge ruled in my favor the same day declaring that madam had clearly broken the court order. This now allowed the case in the US to continue but Madam had filed another Injunction case asking the Nigerian courts to prevent the US court or any other court from enforcement.

In November, my lawyers in the US successfully argued that Texas was obliged to Enforce the Nigeria court order which restricts either parent from leaving Lagos State without an express consent from the other parent and moreover Nigeria court had not given any order to prevent the Texas court from proceeding. Trial was set for December 15th 2023.

On December 15th 2023, I arrived in the US court not knowing what would happen. Madam’s lawyers tried to stall the case again during pre-trial hearing but the Judge ruled that trial will start at 10.30am same day. At 3.10pm, the judge ruled that my daughter should be released to me for the sole purpose of returning her to Nigeria and released both her US and Nigerian passport to me. Furthermore, the judge instructed that my legal fees be paid by madam.

Despite my legal victories in both Nigeria and the US, it is still a loss on both sides. The financial cost was unnecessary. Legal cost in 2 countries, Airline tickets, hotel cost, car rental cost. Funds better spent elsewhere wasted. If not for funds, this would have broken me mentally and emotionally. I’m grateful to God for the means.


So why am I sharing my story?

1) The child suffers. The stability in their life is disrupted. They may miss weeks in school, they are at high risk for long-term psychological problems including anxiety, eating disorders, nightmares, mood swings, sleep disturbances, and aggressive behavior. As adults, child victims of international parental child abduction may struggle with identity, relationship, and family issues.

2) To let victims such as myself know there is a legal recourse for International Parental Child Abduction. However time is essential. In the US you must file an enforcement case within 6 months. Ensure you use an experienced lawyer in the subject matter.

3) To debunk old myths about the US or other western countries being a safe haven when it comes to International parental child abduction especially with children of dual citizenship.

4) To discourage those who are thinking of doing the same thing

5) To create awareness on International Parental Child Abduction being a criminal offense both in the United States (up-to 4 yrs in Prison with a $10,000 fine) and Nigeria.

6) To encourage Self-Restraint. I could have filed a Red notice with Interpol and made it a criminal case but then you always have to balance it with the future.