Elohorp:


Pregnant is a game it can come even when on active protection,so why gamble

I believe if a man gets married too early,when his not yet stable it prevents him from actually ever getting his footing in life

depending on the kind of partner. It is supposed to be the opposite. His acceleration in life should be faster with the right woman. If a man's life slows down after marriage, he got the wrong partner.

optm:
depending on the kind of partner. It is supposed to be the opposite. His acceleration in life should be faster with the right woman. If a man's life slows down after marriage, he got the wrong partner.

No it's slows done not because she is a wrong partner but because expense increase,if your wife is sick won't you treat her,if your kids are sick won't you treat them
School fees, feeding,health care, clothing,and on and on,you speed more,same applies to the woman,in the end you can barely see financial means to expand instead your just surviving and look around you and tell me if that's not what most people in Nigeria are going through
Yes you might see 2 or 3 that managed to expand and thrive but it's so rare,early marriage when not yet stable will hold you back
My advice make sure your financial back bone is strong before carrying load on it , If not it will crack, am not saying you have to be rich but at least be stable

Elohorp:


No it's slows done not because she is a wrong partner but because expense increase,if your wife is sick won't you treat her,if your kids are sick won't you treat them
School fees, feeding,health care, clothing,and on and on,you speed more,same applies to the woman,in the end you can barely see financial means to expand instead your just surviving and look around you and tell me if that's not what most people in Nigeria are going through
Yes you might see 2 or 3 that managed to expand and thrive but it's so rare,early marriage when not yet stable will hold you back
My advice make sure your financial back bone is strong before carrying load on it , If not it will crack, am not saying you have to be rich but at least be stable

I believe the lady you are marrying is an individual and should have been catering for herself and taking care of her expenses before you married her. both of you coming together shouldn't change anything much but rather amplify you cos of combination of resources and ideas. yes it would be proper to have your finances sorted before birthing kids because they would be dependent on you and if you do not plan properly, it would put strain on your resources. But for two independent individual coming together in marriage, it shouldn't cause you much strain in my opinion except it's the wrong spouse you are having. I hope you get my point ?

Sirmwill:
Contrary to the opinion of the person above me
If I don't have a big mansion

I'm not marrying yet

The person I would marry deserves to be treated as a queen...



















Dhurr, I will never go for a girl who is big orrrr sees herself as being big.
She would be the most looked down upon by other girls.
Then, I'd bring her up above them ✌️

Back to the room above

It's not good for marriage

I am new to Nigeria. I am white from western country. I have never seen this thing before. Men think like this in Nigeria? In western countries we are very very understanding. We just like people for love. Nothing much more. Some women may be Abit more materialistic then others. But most would be happy as long as they have a man who loves them.

Peacefulplace:



I am new to Nigeria. I am white from western country. I have never seen this thing before. Men think like this in Nigeria? In western countries we are very very understanding. We just like people for love. Nothing much more. Some women may be Abit more materialistic then others. But most would be happy as long as they have a man who loves them.

Hmmm
You are a man or a woman?

optm:
I believe the lady you are marrying is an individual and should have been catering for herself and taking care of her expenses before you married her. both of you coming together shouldn't change anything much but rather amplify you cos of combination of resources and ideas. yes it would be proper to have your finances sorted before birthing kids because they would be dependent on you and if you do not plan properly, it would put strain on your resources. But for two independent individual coming together in marriage, it shouldn't cause you much strain in my opinion except it's the wrong spouse you are having. I hope you get my point ?

If you marry a wife what do you have to offer as the head of the house??
Because if you believe that she should continue been the sole caretaker of herself after getting married to you and you don't want kids after marriage
May I ask what exactly you are looking for by getting married in the first place
You have no need for marriage because you are not ready for the thing's that comes with marriage,you want to get married for sex and continue living your life as you were while still single with the only difference of having a stay in sex partner,all you said above is the simple example of someone that's not just ready for marriage but also selfish and you rounded it up by saying if your not successful then it's the wife fault,how exactly
There's nothing more irritating then a blame passer it's simply irritating if I don't make it it's her fault it sound immature

Elohorp:
Pregnant is a game it can come even when on active protection,so why gamble
I believe if a man gets married too early,when his not yet stable it prevents him from actually ever getting his footing in life

pregnancy OR bringing children to this world SHOULD NEVER BE A GAME. too many people out there have children that they cant care for.

Elohorp:


If you marry a wife what do you have to offer as the head of the house??
Because if you believe that she should continue been the sole caretaker of herself after getting married to you and you don't want kids after marriage
May I ask what exactly you are looking for by getting married in the first place
You have no need for marriage because you are not ready for the thing's that comes with marriage,you want to get married for sex and continue living your life as you were while still single with the only difference of having a stay in sex partner,all you said above is the simple example of someone that's not just ready for marriage but also selfish and you rounded it up by saying if your not successful then it's the wife fault,how exactly
There's nothing more irritating then a blame passer it's simply irritating if I don't make it it's her fault it sound immature

you actually misread my post . First of, getting a life partner is choosing someone to do life with. this person should ideally have a life as an independent person. If you both are doing life together, it means you guys ought to be better since there would be summation of resources, ideas and support that should ideally translate to better life for both partner. Now if a man is better off in being single than married, something is definitely wrong with the kind of spouse. it means his spouse isn't actually contributing much to his life. yeah i know in Africa, most girls are seeking men to take responsibility for their living and looking for who to live life through and not who to do life with. These kind of girls would definitely cause the men strain and slow down his pace cos she is depleting his resources.

MrBrownJay1:


pregnancy OR bringing children to this world SHOULD NEVER BE A GAME. too many people out there have children that they cant care for.

You don't understand what am saying,he said you can get married when not financially stable and simply avoid getting pregnant
But it's not that easy because once your having sex even with protection it's not 100 percent assured you won't get pregnant,so it's best to be ready for pregnancy in marriage and not get married when you know you are not up for what comes with marriage, which one of the major responsibilities is children

optm:
you actually misread my post . First of, getting a life partner is choosing someone to do life with. this person should ideally have a life as an independent person. If you both are doing life together, it means you guys ought to be better since there would be summation of resources, ideas and support that should ideally translate to better life for both partner. Now if a man is better off in being single than married, something is definitely wrong with the kind of spouse. it means his spouse isn't actually contributing much to his life. yeah i know in Africa, most girls are seeking men to take responsibility for their living and looking for who to live life through and not who to do life with. These kind of girls would definitely cause the men strain and slow down his pace cos she is depleting his resources.

What do you mean in Africa most girls are seeking for men to take responsibility for their living

Dude I fucking live in the USA, please it's the seem here don't trip yourself by saying in Africa that's a big insult
Even lots of white and Spanish do that here do
Yes they are some that's are fully independent,Mr if they give you those women to marry you won't last 3 months in The marriage
Ask any wise person,no one cares advice you to get married when not financially stable it's a mistake, because you must care for your wife,if you can't care for your wife why taking her from her parents house,I was in my parents house and they cared for me before I got married,that's the normal process of life for a normal girl,and a man that's getting married must be financially ready or it happens your wife gets pregnant,you will take her to abort it because your not yet ready,?
But Then you have been listing all the things a woman should have to give you in such management marriage and all the things she shouldn't expect from you
Then you went on to say that she shouldn't be the responsibility of her husband

So may I ask what does a man that wants to be called husband in such case have to offer or is his job only to take
Or will the woman be the head of such home and will he agree that they are equals,since he has both to offer

Elohorp:


What do you mean in Africa moat girls are seeking for men to take responsibility for their living

Dude I fucking live in the USA, please it's the seem here don't trip yourself by saying in Africa that's a big insult
Even lots of white and Spanish do that here do
Yes they are some that's are fully independent,Mr if they give you those women to marry you won't last 3 months in. The marriage

But. Then you have been listing all the things a woman should have to give you in su h management marriage and all the things she shouldn't expect from you
Then you went on to say that she shouldn't be the responsibility of her husband

So may I ask what does a man that wants to be called husband in such case have to offer or is his job only to take
Or will the woman be the head of such home and will he agree that they are equals,since he has both to offer

you are not following the logic in my argument . let me know why you feel a man would be slowed down in finding his foot after marriage without kids in the picture of things?

Elohorp:
You don't understand what am saying,he said you can get married when not financially stable and simply avoid getting pregnant
But it's not that easy because once your having sex even with protection it's not 100 percent assured you won't get pregnant,so it's best to be ready for pregnancy in marriage and not get married when you know you are not up for what comes with marriage, which one of the major responsibilities is children

yes this is my own opinion... marriage in such a room is no big deal, you can do it without starting a family. just get contraception and/or use condoms until you are emotionally/financially ready to have children. if 2 people are dumb enough to have unprotected sex knowing fully well that they cant take care of a child (or dont have a decent place to raise a family), then these 2 people are unfit future parents.

optm:
you are not following the logic in my argument . let me know why you feel a man would be slowed down in finding his foot after marriage without kids in the picture of things?

What is your assurance that after marriage, pregnancy won't come?

MrBrownJay1:


yes this is my own opinion... marriage in such a room is no big deal, you can do it without starting a family. just get contraception and/or use condoms until you are emotionally/financially ready to have children. if 2 people are dumb enough to have unprotected sex knowing fully well that they cant take care of a child (or dont have a decent place to raise a family), then these 2 people are unfit future parents.

Yes I remember this,that's how my friend was conceived by her husband,and continued taking the pill for 3 years till today 15 years later,she's unable to get pregnant
Marriage eventually crashed before of inability to get pregnant, infertility induced by hormonal imbalance from taking the pill

Like you started if you don't have a decent place to live,why get married
Anyway I know the type of women that can easily be roped into such life

Elohorp:

What is your assurance that after marriage, pregnancy won't come?

this is kind of deviating. the concept of birth control isn't new is it?

Elohorp:

What is your assurance that after marriage, pregnancy won't come?

there are birth control methods to significantly reduce the chances of that happening so why focus so much on what would likely not happen?

optm:
there are birth control methods to significantly reduce the chances of that happening so why focus so much on what would likely not happen?

Ehn am a woman,so I should be the one to tell you about birth control not you,what exactly do you know about birth control
I must focus on it because it's very likely,it's highly common for women to take in while on active birth control especially younger women
And the do you know the effects on birth control on women any woman that has sense that hasn't given birth,will not put herself subject to birth control

Elohorp:


Ehn am a woman,so I should be the one to tell you about birth control not you,what exactly do you know about birth control
I must focus on it because it's very likely,it's highly common for women to take in while on active birth control especially younger women
And the do you know the effects on birth control on women any woman that has sense that hasn't given birth,will not put herself subject to birth control

lolz. you should probably read more on birth control methods then. The discussion has digressed. I rest my case

optm:
lolz. you should probably read more on birth control methods then. The discussion has digressed. I rest my case

I should read more of birth control ,I laugh,it Should you be that does that research to find out if birth control is 100 percent