BEWARNED! THIS IS A LONG READ.

I have noticed that at some point in every new relationship or friendship I started, the person must test my love for him/her by making me jealous to see my reaction. Check out the following cases.

Case1:
When I got admission into the uni, I met this great guy that i shared hostel with. We became close friends; sharing food together, doing assignment together, washing together etc. We even went to classes and church programs together. These went on for about 4 months or so.
Suddenly, this guy wokeup one beautiful Saturday and called a guy in the next room to escort him to the launder! I was like "what!"
We use to go washing together. Why call this guy and not me? I didn't say it out. I just wondered and pretended not to care.
Before I knew it, he had started cooking and sharing food with the other guy. Soon, he became best friends with this other guy.
I kept my cool and moved on with my life.
We graduated and everyone went his way. Note, we didn't fight. We do talk once awhile but it wasn't as it were.


Case2:
I went for an interview and I met this guy there. He had a car. We got the job and became close friends.
This guy always drove me home after work. We would talk about politics, women, alcohol, life goals etc.
This went on for about 2 months then suddenly, one evening after work, this guy called another colleague of ours and offered to ride home with him. I wanted to still follow them since I didn't plan on going home alone (I didn't hold transport fare). To my surprise, this my guy said he was not going home directly. That he wanted to see someone first. The other guy hopped in his car and they drove away. They got in his fvcking car and drove away.
Demnn! I thought in my head "today ehhh, you go trek. Who say make you no get your own car?"
I was heading towards the exist when one woman in her 50s offered to drive me home. Lucky for me, she was going to see her son who happened to be my neighbor. Guess what? I got home and met my friend's car parked at his gate.
We met with my friend the next day at work and he seemed to be very observant of me. Trying to see my reaction. I greeted him normal. Smiled and walked into my office.
Since that day, our friendship cracked. I didn't follow him home anymore.
I later learnt, through office gossipers, that he wanted to see my reaction that was why he ditched me that day.

Case3: My girlfriends.
I have dated a handful of women and I can confidently tell you that at some point in our relationship (3-4months later), ALL of them tried to make me jealous.
One girl I dated on campus hugged a guy in my presence and looked at me as she did it. I didn't flinch. Days later, this girl called off the relationship.

Another girl I dated in my neighborhood told me the names of guys crushing on her. She showed me text and chats they sent to her. I didn't flinch. I pretended not to feel threatened. Smiled and said " these guys really like you ooo". The following week, this girl called of the relationship.

The third girl woke up one morning, called me and said "if another man asked me out and he is very cute and has a lot of money, what would you do?"
I replied " nothing! If he's better than me and you chose him, I will be happy for you. I can't compete or fight my fellow man because of a woman"
She literally hissed on the phone. The following month, we broke up.

There was this girl that I dated too. After some months into the relationship, she started to form busy. I would call and call, she wouldn't pick up. She would wait until I called like 5 times before she would pick and say "I'm kinda busy now please"
I stopped calling. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. And that was it.
After two months, she called me and I replied " who is on the line?" She hug up and that was the end.

Another girl who was my ex. Started showing me green light (Calling to ask how I am doing, asking if I have eaten, texting me , blah bla blah balablue). So I asked her if we can chill at my house. She quickly told me that she has a boyfriend. I said ok no problem. I requested for the guy's number, called him and we talked like friends. I then called her back and told her that the guy is a great guy. He will be perfect for her. I sent the screen grab of my chats with her boyfriend in which I told him to keep her and take good care of her because she's like a sister to me.
The moment she saw the message, she blocked my line.

The latest one was a girl whom after we had been together for over 6 months, started to tell me about a certain guy that was very caring to her and how she had grown to like him a lot. She told me he makes her laugh and calls her all the time. In my mind I was like " this one want me to struggle to impress her. You dey whine?"
One day, she brought up the guy's name as we were talking and I said "Omo, this guy will be perfect for you ooo."
Boom! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

Who do you think is the problem. Is it me or them?

nlfpmod

you are just like me,but the difference is they stay even though i treat them bad or give the i dont care attitude.

Bookhub:
you are just like me,but the difference is they stay even though i treat them bad or give the i dont care attitude.

Hmmmm.
Maybe you're a nice guy.

The first story entails that you’re a girl. The problem might not necessarily be you, perhaps them. Look around you and check if you’ll see some lifestyle or attitudes you wouldn’t like and try to change them.

Mr nice guy. You go suffer well well for woman hand

You are the common denominator in all these breakups, and they are many, so what made you think you are not the problem?

Peakdesign23:
The first story entails that you’re a girl. The problem might not necessarily be you, perhaps them. Look around you and check if you’ll see some lifestyle or attitudes you wouldn’t like and try to change them.

First, I'm not a girl and secondly, the people, all of them, are good people. They're are all decent people.

HugeElephant:
Mr nice guy. You go suffer well well for woman hand

I will slap you oooo.

linearity:
You are the common denominator in all these breakups, and they are many, so what made you think you are not the problem?

But I do not do anything wrong naa.

Ask an honest person how they see you.

You are probably the kind of person that people will be with and they will see ur true self in few months and try to stay away from you.
I know a guy like that, I used to help him with things, even food and advice, but this guy is pompous and very secretive, I just walked away, the truth is that he doesn't even know he has this bad part, every one in our workplace complained and stayed away from him

Oga go and work urself and learn to keep quiet wen ladies ask u some kind questions. As for those guys there could b sometin they don’t like about u after getting to know u well.

jeromestarks:

I will slap you oooo.

Why

I may be wrong but one thing I knw is that we want to be with those who cares about us and show it to us that they do care, in words and in actions.

Maybe ur I-don't-care attitude is way too much, making others feel like u don't care or value/appreciate their presence. As if they mean nothing to you no matter how long they've been with u or how close they are to u.

Wainey:
Ask an honest person how they see you.

You are probably the kind of person that people will be with and they will see ur true self in few months and try to stay away from you.
I know a guy like that, I used to help him with things, even food and advice, but this guy is pompous and very secretive, I just walked away, the truth is that he doesn't even know he has this bad part, every one in our workplace complained and stayed away from him

I'm secretive but not pompous. I hardly let anyone know anything about me.
Do you think they acted like that because they are jealous?

ZaraIhua:
I may be wrong but one thing I knw is that we want to be with those who cares about us and show it to us that they do care, in words and in actions.

Maybe ur I-don't-care attitude is way too much, making others feel like u don't care or value/appreciate their presence. As if they mean nothing to you no matter how long they've been with u or how close they are to u.

Is that why they will try to make me jealous?

FitCorper:
Oga go and work urself and learn to keep quiet wen ladies ask u some kind questions. As for those guys there could b sometin they don’t like about u after getting to know u well.

I would prefer they just say what they don't like about me instead of trying to make me jealous or trying to see if I will work to keep them.

jeromestarks:


Is that why they will try to make me jealous?

Yes, maybe to find out where they really stand in ur life.

jeromestarks:

I'm secretive but not pompous. I hardly let anyone know anything about me.
Do you think they acted like that because they are jealous?

everyone cannot be jealous of you.
There is something about you that makes people want to stay away

Ask a collegue to describe you, you'll find out whether it's you.
Also, reduce the I don't care attitude.

jeromestarks:
BEWARNED! THIS IS A LONG READ.

I have noticed that at some point in every new relationship or friendship I started, the person must test my love for him/her by making me jealous to see my reaction. Check out the following cases.

Case1:
When I got admission into the uni, I met this great guy that i shared hostel with. We became close friends; sharing food together, doing assignment together, washing together etc. We even went to classes and church programs together. These went on for about 4 months or so.
Suddenly, this guy wokeup one beautiful Saturday and called a guy in the next room to escort him to the launder! I was like "what!"
We use to go washing together. Why call this guy and not me? I didn't say it out. I just wondered and pretended not to care.
Before I knew it, he had started cooking and sharing food with the other guy. Soon, he became best friends with this other guy.
I kept my cool and moved on with my life.
We graduated and everyone went his way. Note, we didn't fight. We do talk once awhile but it wasn't as it were.


Case2:
I went for an interview and I met this guy there. He had a car. We got the job and became close friends.
This guy always drove me home after work. We would talk about politics, women, alcohol, life goals etc.
This went on for about 2 months then suddenly, one evening after work, this guy called another colleague of ours and offered to ride home with him. I wanted to still follow them since I didn't plan on going home alone (I didn't hold transport fare). To my surprise, this my guy said he was not going home directly. That he wanted to see someone first. The other guy hopped in his car and they drove away. They got in his fvcking car and drove away.
Demnn! I thought in my head "today ehhh, you go trek. Who say make you no get your own car?"
I was heading towards the exist when one woman in her 50s offered to drive me home. Lucky for me, she was going to see her son who happened to be my neighbor. Guess what? I got home and met my friend's car parked at his gate.
We met with my friend the next day at work and he seemed to be very observant of me. Trying to see my reaction. I greeted him normal. Smiled and walked into my office.
Since that day, our friendship cracked. I didn't follow him home anymore.
I later learnt, through office gossipers, that he wanted to see my reaction that was why he ditched me that day.

Case3: My girlfriends.
I have dated a handful of women and I can confidently tell you that at some point in our relationship (3-4months later), ALL of them tried to make me jealous.
One girl I dated on campus hugged a guy in my presence and looked at me as she did it. I didn't flinch. Days later, this girl called off the relationship.

Another girl I dated in my neighborhood told me the names of guys crushing on her. She showed me text and chats they sent to her. I didn't flinch. I pretended not to feel threatened. Smiled and said " these guys really like you ooo". The following week, this girl called of the relationship.

The third girl woke up one morning, called me and said "if another man asked me out and he is very cute and has a lot of money, what would you do?"
I replied " nothing! If he's better than me and you chose him, I will be happy for you. I can't compete or fight my fellow man because of a woman"
She literally hissed on the phone. The following month, we broke up.

There was this girl that I dated too. After some months into the relationship, she started to form busy. I would call and call, she wouldn't pick up. She would wait until I called like 5 times before she would pick and say "I'm kinda busy now please"
I stopped calling. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. And that was it.
After two months, she called me and I replied " who is on the line?" She hug up and that was the end.

Another girl who was my ex. Started showing me green light (Calling to ask how I am doing, asking if I have eaten, texting me , blah bla blah balablue). So I asked her if we can chill at my house. She quickly told me that she has a boyfriend. I said ok no problem. I requested for the guy's number, called him and we talked like friends. I then called her back and told her that the guy is a great guy. He will be perfect for her. I sent the screen grab of my chats with her boyfriend in which I told him to keep her and take good care of her because she's like a sister to me.
The moment she saw the message, she blocked my line.

The latest one was a girl whom after we had been together for over 6 months, started to tell me about a certain guy that was very caring to her and how she had grown to like him a lot. She told me he makes her laugh and calls her all the time. In my mind I was like " this one want me to struggle to impress her. You dey whine?"
One day, she brought up the guy's name as we were talking and I said "Omo, this guy will be perfect for you ooo."
Boom! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

Who do you think is the problem. Is it me or them?

nlfpmod

You are almost 90% the problem of yourself.

Why?

Every human being want to feel loved and irreplaceable, not just respect.


In your case, you respect and adore people. But you usually make them feel replaceable

Whenever a lady ask you, if so so happen, what will you do? Your response should be, I'll never let that happen, you mine and you are unshareable ( that's if you are interested in her)

R

MOG6670:


You are almost 90% the problem of yourself.

Why?

Every human being want to feel loved and irreplaceable, not just respect.


In your case, you respect and adore people. But you usually make them feel replaceable

Whenever a lady ask you, if so so happen, what will you do? Your response should be, I'll never let that happen, you mine and you are unshareable ( that's if you are interested in her)

No I can't do that. I had a girl like that doesn't ask all this questions but whenever a dude is disturbing (a whole lot where then) and it comes up, I laugh and tease her (like telling her she's the hottest for street oo or she should make like 3 or 4 her side dude na since some were asking to be side dude anytime she tells them she's already with me) but one day she ask what if life happens she meet someone else she loves, I just told her"Que Sera Sera" whatever will be, will be. So anytime she wants to ask me some of these girl's foolish questions I just smile and she replies herself with "I know, Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be". That even made her love me more. Because I told her real love isn't feeling, it's actions

MOG6670:


You are almost 90% the problem of yourself.

Why?

Every human being want to feel loved and irreplaceable, not just respect.


In your case, you respect and adore people. But you usually make them feel replaceable

Whenever a lady ask you, if so so happen, what will you do? Your response should be, I'll never let that happen, you mine and you are unshareable ( that's if you are interested in her)

You're smart. That would have been the best reply but, a woman who tried to make me jealous is a turn off.
Once I get jealous, the game is over.

ZaraIhua:


Yes, maybe to find out where they really stand in ur life.

Hmmmm. But I have never contemplate my stand in someone else's life.
I guess we are all different.

Fattprince23:

No I can't do that. I had a girl like that doesn't ask all this questions but whenever a dude is disturbing (a whole lot where then) and it comes up, I laugh and tease her (like telling her she's the hottest for street oo or she should make like 3 or 4 her side dude na since some were asking to be side dude anytime she tells them she's already with me) but one day she ask what if life happens she meet someone else she loves, I just told her"Que Sera Sera" whatever will be, will be. So anytime she wants to ask me some of these girl's foolish questions I just smile and she replies herself with "I know, Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be". That even made her love me more. Because I told her real love isn't feeling, it's actions

"Que sera sera".
I like this

Wainey:
everyone cannot be jealous of you.
There is something about you that makes people want to stay away

Are you trying to say I have a bad character? Mind yourself oooo.

I hardly dislike someone but from my few interactions with you, I can confidently say I don't like you at all and you are someone I don't even know.

Even this your thread I didn't want to click but I guess curiosity got the best of me.

I think you are the problem and you should try and change, your personality sucks.
You think this people are trying to make you jealous, big Fat NO, they are trying to get rid of you, they have seen your personality and they don't want you around them so they look for ways to get rid of you.

You might pretend that the girls wanted to make you jealous because of your ego but guys don't play that game, your coworker wanted to cut the friendship off, the same with your former roommate.
So stop been delusional and work on yourself, you are not that special for many people in your life to make you jealous lol

Yes, there's a problem somewhere...
I too don't have many friends, and my friends leave me after sometime.... when there's a new person around....

From experience I would say it's your vibe, maybe you are gentle or very extroverted or not very social or you have some societal problem...

I have many social misbehaviour, and I have accepted my fate....I don't have a girlfriend.... they don't even look at me.....as long as I can eAt and survive in the balablue government... I am okay... there's no problem...i like talking about money too much...I don't like too much fun so people don't like me...I am too serious..... maybe that's your case...
But I started loosing up.... and its be coming alright

To all nairalanders
If you need a chatmate...
Talkmate...
Boyfriend....

I am available.... email me 😁😁...(seriously)

jeromestarks:

Are you trying to say I have a bad character? Mind yourself oooo.

I am saying there is a chance u have bad character

Wainey:
I am saying there is a chance u have bad character

Hmmmm🤔.
Maybe I have pride. But who doesn't?

MONEY247:
Yes, there's a problem somewhere...
I too don't have many friends, and my friends leave me after sometime.... when there's a new person around....

From experience I would say it's your vibe, maybe you are gentle or very extroverted or not very social or you have some societal problem...

I have many social misbehaviour, and I have accepted my fate....I don't have a girlfriend.... they don't even look at me.....as long as I can eAt and survive in the balablue government... I am okay... there's no problem...i like talking about money too much...I don't like too much fun so people don't like me...I am too serious..... maybe that's your case...
But I started loosing up.... and its be coming alright

To all nairalanders
If you need a chatmate...
Talkmate...
Boyfriend....

I am available.... email me 😁😁...(seriously)

You don't have girlfriend? Ahhhh! You own case needs surgery.

Sandralight:
I hardly dislike someone but from my few interactions with you, I can confidently say I don't like you at all and you are someone I don't even know.

Even this your thread I didn't want to click but I guess curiosity got the best of me.

I think you are the problem and you should try and change, your personality sucks.
You think this people are trying to make you jealous, big Fat NO, they are trying to get rid of you, they have seen your personality and they don't want you around them so they look for ways to get rid of you.

You might pretend that the girls wanted to make you jealous because of your ego but guys don't play that game, your coworker wanted to cut the friendship off, the same with your former roommate.
So stop been delusional and work on yourself, you are not that special for many people in your life to make you jealous lol

But I like you. Honestly.