FRANCISTOWN:


I understand that there are different families but I'm talking about my own family where responsible and wise parents didn't raise rude brats.

I'm not saying it happen in your family. I just want you to understand say you first me come life no mean say you know wotsup pass me. They no dey do am by age o

Rowllland:
I am 32 years old, I am the eldest among my siblings (2 boys, 2 girls), My younger brother (2nd born) just travelled to the U.K as at November last year, my younger sister (3rd born) just graduated from the University and waiting to be mobilized for nysc while our last born is still in school.
@32 I still live with my parents, I lost my job for the past one year, things have really been tough for me to the point where I can’t pay my rent, I have to come back to my parent’s house to stay.

Since I started living with my parent, I get lot of disrespect from my younger sister (3rd born) whom I senior with 9 good years, my parent always take her sides whenever she disrespects me. There are some of her behaviors I can’t even type here. They have suddenly forgotten how much I cared for them when things were going well for me.

Yesterday evening 6pm, I noticed she was cooking noodles for herself in the kitchen and I gently told her since there is soup in the fridge why not make Eba for everyone to eat.. in her response she said: she’s tired o. I kept mute, then I said ok just place the water on the fire I’ll make the Eba myself.
After few minutes she was done eating her noodles I asked her if the water was ready and she said she hasn’t boiled the water as she frowns at me,.. out of anger I landed her 2 hot slaps on her face… she ran to her room, locked the door and started crying, she hurriedly called my younger brother in U.K and started reporting me to him, I could hear her crying loud and telling him many gibberish. Even reported me to our last born who is in school.

She remained in her room until my parent came back from church around 8pm, immediately she heard their voice, she came out from her room, flared up and started crying endlessly, talking down on me, she told my parent I beat her up mercilessly, she said I injured her in her mouth and she has been spitting out blood from her mouth… I remained silent as my parent yells at me.

I regretted hitting her, I have never hit a lady in my life. I wanted to even apologize to her but on a second thought I said No becus she don’t greet me anymore.

Look your hands are functional ryt? What stopped you from boiling d water and making d eba yourself? You better humble

hitting the girl was a wrong move, your parents are not helping matters, move away and give them space

Villa12:
I'm not saying it happen in your family. I just want you to understand say you first me come life no mean say you know wotsup pass me. They no dey do am by age o

I go like meet person like you for real life o. I dey like wicked people.

Rowllland:
I am 32 years old, I am the eldest among my siblings (2 boys, 2 girls), My younger brother (2nd born) just travelled to the U.K as at November last year, my younger sister (3rd born) just graduated from the University and waiting to be mobilized for nysc while our last born is still in school.
@32 I still live with my parents, I lost my job for the past one year, things have really been tough for me to the point where I can’t pay my rent, I have to come back to my parent’s house to stay.

Since I started living with my parent, I get lot of disrespect from my younger sister (3rd born) whom I senior with 9 good years, my parent always take her sides whenever she disrespects me. There are some of her behaviors I can’t even type here. They have suddenly forgotten how much I cared for them when things were going well for me.

Yesterday evening 6pm, I noticed she was cooking noodles for herself in the kitchen and I gently told her since there is soup in the fridge why not make Eba for everyone to eat.. in her response she said: she’s tired o. I kept mute, then I said ok just place the water on the fire I’ll make the Eba myself.
After few minutes she was done eating her noodles I asked her if the water was ready and she said she hasn’t boiled the water as she frowns at me,.. out of anger I landed her 2 hot slaps on her face… she ran to her room, locked the door and started crying, she hurriedly called my younger brother in U.K and started reporting me to him, I could hear her crying loud and telling him many gibberish. Even reported me to our last born who is in school.

She remained in her room until my parent came back from church around 8pm, immediately she heard their voice, she came out from her room, flared up and started crying endlessly, talking down on me, she told my parent I beat her up mercilessly, she said I injured her in her mouth and she has been spitting out blood from her mouth… I remained silent as my parent yells at me.

I regretted hitting her, I have never hit a lady in my life. I wanted to even apologize to her but on a second thought I said No becus she don’t greet me anymore.

Na why my sister sent me out of her house at night be this. she’s 21 and not a kid you can control anymore
Me wey be 27 sef my older sister ask me carry a bucket of water to the bathroom for her to bath, i told her I’m not her houseboy Na so I get my ass out in the street

If she’s the one cooking in the house, I go just laugh at you



E sure me die say you didn’t ask nicely, you probably asked like it’s her duty to boil you water, I can confirm this by the double slap you dished out to her, actually she was probably expecting retaliation

Rowllland:
I am 32 years old, I am the eldest among my siblings (2 boys, 2 girls), My younger brother (2nd born) just travelled to the U.K as at November last year, my younger sister (3rd born) just graduated from the University and waiting to be mobilized for nysc while our last born is still in school.
@32 I still live with my parents, I lost my job for the past one year, things have really been tough for me to the point where I can’t pay my rent, I have to come back to my parent’s house to stay.

Since I started living with my parent, I get lot of disrespect from my younger sister (3rd born) whom I senior with 9 good years, my parent always take her sides whenever she disrespects me. There are some of her behaviors I can’t even type here. They have suddenly forgotten how much I cared for them when things were going well for me.

Yesterday evening 6pm, I noticed she was cooking noodles for herself in the kitchen and I gently told her since there is soup in the fridge why not make Eba for everyone to eat.. in her response she said: she’s tired o. I kept mute, then I said ok just place the water on the fire I’ll make the Eba myself.
After few minutes she was done eating her noodles I asked her if the water was ready and she said she hasn’t boiled the water as she frowns at me,.. out of anger I landed her 2 hot slaps on her face… she ran to her room, locked the door and started crying, she hurriedly called my younger brother in U.K and started reporting me to him, I could hear her crying loud and telling him many gibberish. Even reported me to our last born who is in school.

She remained in her room until my parent came back from church around 8pm, immediately she heard their voice, she came out from her room, flared up and started crying endlessly, talking down on me, she told my parent I beat her up mercilessly, she said I injured her in her mouth and she has been spitting out blood from her mouth… I remained silent as my parent yells at me.

I regretted hitting her, I have never hit a lady in my life. I wanted to even apologize to her but on a second thought I said No becus she don’t greet me anymore.

let me encourage u with this long story of mine; we are 6. 5 boys and a girl. The girl is the last born, while I am the third; this means i have 2 boys Infront of me, and 2 behind. U see those 2 behind, especially the one that comes immediately after me, they lack respect. Sometimes ago, one of my elder bros was staying Abuja, the other one got a job with Vmobile, got an apartment, nad asked me to move in with him which I did, around 2007/08. By 2010 when Vmobile turned to ZAIN, he was moved to Abuja and as then I wasn't stable financial cos I just got myself settled with all the wahala I faced trying to graduate, so I had to move back to my parents house as i could not keep up with the rent. At my parents house I saw hell. Younger brothers were preferred cos they were bring in more money then.. Omo, it wasn't easy for me but I tried my best in keeping cool and looking for a way to better my life, thanks to my elder brothers cos then they tried for me, they understood my situation better.. 2012 my immediate younger bruv got married. In my parents eyes, he became the eldest son in Lagos, I was relegated cos they saw him as being responsible. In all of this, I kept going on managing my life and hoping things would turn my way someday. Lemme also add that when he was getting married I did everything in my power to support him, not minding what people, especially family people would say.. on the wedding night, he brought his wife and the both thanked me for everything and all the supports. All I could utter then was,"I'll do anything for family" no matter what.

2016 God answered me! Got my own place, got married and life became bearable.. my parents, especially my mother that was always on my neck, that relegated, that wouldnt see anything good i did no matter hard i tried, now became my number one supporter... As I write, she's here at my place with my kids. She would stay 2 weeks without coming down. She reports my two younger brothers to me now and always come to me for solutions whenever they're in one sheet or the other.. I am not proud, just thankful. The rejected stone is now the chief of the corner.. not that I get money oh, but I am not poor and God has helped my life with wisdom to navigate life.. my elder brothers in Abuja are like my best friend, them no dey joke with me. All na God shaaaa...

So my bruv, your time will come. Things would begin to take shape for you very soon and you'd wonder how God did it. Just keep calm, be prayerful, always ask for wisdom, and don't let your condition get the best of you. I could go on and on, story yapa!. I go dey continue the gist later. Peace.

FRANCISTOWN:
We now have mad people everywhere and I just came to the conclusion that some ladies on this NL are nothing but a piece of animal dung.

Animal dung better pass them sef. Jeez! What the? From the first female who commented, one can sense a closer relation with madness.
Hia! Back in the days. My friend had an elder sister who was married. But along the line something went bad for them and they had to return to the wife's parent's house with the husband.
Regardless that they had nothing on them. They were treated with so much love and respect. My friend used to fetch their bathing water to ensure that they had the best comfort.
They were there for almost a year before they left. And I can tell you that my friend never complained about their presence.

When they left, the husband got appointed a ward councilor (twice) and later became a senator (twice as well). They are drippin in wealth as I speak to you.

The problem you are having is that, your parents are the ones indulging your sister. That's the truth, your parents do not rate you at all. Regardless of the situation, where I'm from. Parents don't allow disrespectful behaviours from the younger ones towards their elderly ones.

My father would let you know that if someone is one day your senior, you should respect that person.

My best advice for you is to leave that house, it's better to sleep in the gutters or under the bridge than stay where you are not wanted.

To all those idiots saying why did you slap your younger sister. Excuse you, if someone is being disrespectful, are they not suppose to be straightened?

Just that if it were me, I would have handled the case differently.

Instead of slapping her, I go just nod my head. Wetin I go do dey inside me, I no dey too follow person reason.

Pikin wey no get home training, na from outside them go take train them come. Na why I dey always tell people say, for this life. You gats dey capable of doing evil or else, people no go fear you.
I go just make her realize say na this world she meet me.

Them no born any of my younger ones well even as them dey married. If I talk, them no dey talk put (when them no wan mad)

I hate disrespect die. Na why I dey move solo.

You probably knows how to talk and reciprocate respect which is why you’re getting all the respect, my junior bro respect me die and I Dey respect am back, he Dey do anything I ask am fast even though he knows I’ll have no grudges with him if he says no

Cases are different some just want to be bossing you around, if you try to boss them you’ll see their rebellious nature

FRANCISTOWN:

I go like meet person like you for real life o. I dey like wicked people.

empty barrel.

Villa12:
empty barrel.

Your father, your grandfather, your great grandfather. Oponu omo irankiran.
Mention any of my post again and die a tragic death.

FRANCISTOWN:

Your father, your grandfather, your great grandfather. Oponu omo irankiran.
Mention any of my post again and die a tragic death.

empty drum. We know your type

obinna58:


You probably knows how to talk and reciprocate respect which is why you’re getting all the respect, my junior bro respect me die and I Dey respect am back, he Dey do anything I ask am fast even though he knows I’ll have no grudges with him if he says no

Cases are different some just want to be bossing you around, if you try to boss them you’ll see their rebellious nature

Ehn ehn. You get sense jare.

I dey package myself die that time wey I go use some weeks for my parents house.
I no dey pass my boundaries. We no dey gather sit down gist. I dey dey my room 24/7 , like twice every week I dey give my younger ones bar make them use am guide.

I no dey ask them make them do anything for me but if them see me carry anything them don rush come collect am.

And normal normal, them know say I no dey take nonsense. My body dey quick boil.

Jennyclay:
Hey heavens!! . Another woman beater at it again

Honestly, Broke and struggling men are really violent in nature. I hate broke men like hell.

Biko, stay away from a relationship in order not to put someone’s daughter in abject poverty and turn her into a punching bag.

you should be ashamed of yourself!!

Bunch of woman beater and rapist everywhere!!
Shior!

you are the one supposed to be ashamed for typing this gibbresh. This man here was/is not lazy, she supposed to understand that her brother is going through some kind of depression "even though he has'nt mention it) she supposed to be kind enough to show him even love if she cant respect him

TheWinterBird:
You slapped her twice because of what? Maybe if you aren't abusive, she would respect you. If she said she hadn't boiled the water, all you had to do was boil it yourself. This situation (nor would any) didn't warrant you slapping her at all. You were in the wrong.

but do u know how painful it is to care and endlessly love ur sibling when things are good, but unforturnitly disregard and look down on u when thing gone south?

dahmie2013:
Op please do the following, I was once in your shoes & I came to a logical conclusion that family only exists when there is money.
1. Do not leave your parents house. You will be a burden to the person you will be staying with if you have no job.
2. Focus on getting your job. Ignore all these tantrums from your younger ones.
3. Plead with your father or mother if they can assist you with stipend for Internet subscription that will help you get a job if you cannot afford one. You always have to be online.
4. Be committed to God and the interest of His kingdom. You can sometimes go to church & seek God's face privately. Trust me, you need God more this period.IENCE...
Remember, it is a phase & it will surely pass. Mine was for 2yrs, but I have long overcome.
May God see you through.

pls can you put down what u've faced and how you've got to overcome it? My guy is going through thesame phase and pity him, i want him to read it maybe he will be encouraged

suckmedownthere:
It like that in most Nigerian homes, the best is to leave home early and come back late eat your own food and sleep, ignore them they only show you love when you have money on you...... African parent are the reasons most youths involve in crime, they compare you with others... Try and move out asap

Wow this coming from a lady...
I really do respect your thinking ability madam,it shows you are very mature.
Until you are into people's pain,you know how it feels.

[quote author=elmagnifico411 post=129406258] let me encourage u with this long story of mine; we are 6. 5 boys and a girl. The girl is the last born, while I am the third; this means i have 2 boys Infront of me, and 2 behind. U see those 2 behind, especially the one that comes immediately after me, they lack respect. Sometimes ago, one of my elder bros was staying Abuja, the other one got a job with Vmobile, got an apartment, nad asked me to move in with him which I did, around 2007/08. By 2010 when Vmobile turned to ZAIN, he was moved to Abuja and as then I wasn't stable financial cos I just got myself settled with all the wahala I faced trying to graduate, so I had to move back to my parents house as i could not keep up with the rent. At my parents house I saw hell. Younger brothers were preferred cos they were bring in more money then.. Omo, it wasn't easy for me but I tried my best in keeping cool and looking for a way to better my life, thanks to my el for me, they underst we are waiting for the gist

MOG6670:
you are the one supposed to be ashamed for typing this gibbresh. This man here was/is not lazy, she supposed to understand that her brother is going through some kind of depression "even though he has'nt mention it) she supposed to be kind enough to show him even love if she cant respect him

we all know that the only thing OP is going through is finance nothing more. He's not going through any health related cases nor police case. I understand what makes you a man is Money. Nonetheless, that isn't an excuse or yardstick to slap his sister. Imagine what would have happened if their father or mother was there when he slapped her. He should thank his star he's still single. This is a phase lots of single guys had passed through. Lots of married Men with responsibility in Nigeria today are going through worse than what OP is currently going through. Does that mean their wives/ children/ friends/ neighbors don't get them pissed off at some point? So you expect them to be slapping them up and down? We should learn to tame our temperament biko. If it was his younger brother would he also slap him? I'm sure he wouldn't attempt to slap him because that might lead to serious fight in the house which at the end OP will be blame. Truth be told no one is his slave in that house. The fact that our younger brother or sister prepare food or run errands for the house daily doesn't make them slaves or responsible for our daily upkeep. Anybody can cook. Everyone should learn how to cook. It's not solely meant for any gender. Heaven will not fall if OP walks into the kitchen and boil the water he wants to use. If OP is living on his own or living with his friend, does he expect his friend or his friend wife to do that for him? Op your mission in that house is to lay low pending when you will leave. It'd be absurd neighbors coming to settle or seperate fight between you and your siblings. This is the period you should drop that ego of senior or I'm a man. You should be friendly with your siblings but let there be boundary. You should support them in any house chores you know you can do. Maybe helping your dad do his laundry and ironing once in a while. I don't think it's fair sitting idle while your siblings do everything. It's a matter of time. Obviously you'd leave. If you're in your own house with your wife and kids and God forbid something similar happened. I'm sure you wouldn't abandoned all the house chores to your wife. You will definitely assist whenever you're around.

@suckmedownthere was right. Most African parents see their children as their retirement plan. Expecially the male child. Once the last born has money he automatically become the first born and even father of the house. This had actually pushed the youths into crime. An average Nigerian youths (guys) are into cyber fraud popularly known as Yahoo Yahoo just to live up to expectation and take up responsibility in the house. Go to most average homes in Nigeria, you'd be surprised the children are the bread winner. If you're a male child and you don't have money in Nigeria, their parents will not rate them including their siblings. I know it's not all family but it happens in most average Nigerian family. I understand our government also had a role in this. The government had improvished the masses to the level that ordinary food had become luxury to an average Nigerians. No job, no light, no capital to Kickstart businesses et al. May God have mercy on us.

[quote author=Villa12 post=129411225]we all know that the only thing OP is going through is finance nothing more. He's not going through any health related cases nor police case. I understand what makes you a man is Money. Nonetheless, that isn't an excuse or yardstick to slap his sister. Imagine what would have happened if their father or mother was there when he slapped her. He should thank his star he's still single. This is a phase lots of single guys had passed through. Lots of married Men with responsibility in Nigeria today are going through worse than what OP is currently going through. Does that mean their wives/ children/ friends/ neighbors don't get them pissed off at some point? So you expect them to be slapping them up and down? We should learn to tame our temperament biko. If it was his younger brother would he also slap him? You have said it all kudos

FRANCISTOWN:


Ehn ehn. You get sense jare.

I dey package myself die that time wey I go use some weeks for my parents house.
I no dey pass my boundaries. We no dey gather sit down gist. I dey dey my room 24/7 , like twice every week I dey give my younger ones bar make them use am guide.

I no dey ask them make them do anything for me but if them see me carry anything them don rush come collect am.

And normal normal, them know say I no dey take nonsense. My body dey quick boil.

Baba forget it, with your style you go even get big influence join and if money come Dey, dem go begin worship you

You’re giving value and collecting less, e sure me sef you go even understand and respect the psychological side of people

Rowllland:
I am 32 years old, I am the eldest among my siblings (2 boys, 2 girls), My younger brother (2nd born) just travelled to the U.K as at November last year, my younger sister (3rd born) just graduated from the University and waiting to be mobilized for nysc while our last born is still in school.
@32 I still live with my parents, I lost my job for the past one year, things have really been tough for me to the point where I can’t pay my rent, I have to come back to my parent’s house to stay.

Since I started living with my parent, I get lot of disrespect from my younger sister (3rd born) whom I senior with 9 good years, my parent always take her sides whenever she disrespects me. There are some of her behaviors I can’t even type here. They have suddenly forgotten how much I cared for them when things were going well for me.

Yesterday evening 6pm, I noticed she was cooking noodles for herself in the kitchen and I gently told her since there is soup in the fridge why not make Eba for everyone to eat.. in her response she said: she’s tired o. I kept mute, then I said ok just place the water on the fire I’ll make the Eba myself.
After few minutes she was done eating her noodles I asked her if the water was ready and she said she hasn’t boiled the water as she frowns at me,.. out of anger I landed her 2 hot slaps on her face… she ran to her room, locked the door and started crying, she hurriedly called my younger brother in U.K and started reporting me to him, I could hear her crying loud and telling him many gibberish. Even reported me to our last born who is in school.

She remained in her room until my parent came back from church around 8pm, immediately she heard their voice, she came out from her room, flared up and started crying endlessly, talking down on me, she told my parent I beat her up mercilessly, she said I injured her in her mouth and she has been spitting out blood from her mouth… I remained silent as my parent yells at me.

I regretted hitting her, I have never hit a lady in my life. I wanted to even apologize to her but on a second thought I said No becus she don’t greet me anymore.

You shouldn't have slapped her, you could have done it yourself. Just get a job, get an apartment of your own and you will be respected by her and your mum. At the moment, leave the place but if you can control your anger and do certains by yourself without asking for help, stay.

Gbadugbakun:
Continue beating her like that whenever she disrespects you. With time she'll learn to watch her mouth and give you your space.

No she wouldn't. And even if she were his daughter he'd pay for the beatings later in life.

You'll do it again

She should have boiled with water na, it's disrespect. Where I come from whether you have money or not the elder is the elder, the younger is the younger whether you are male or female on either side it doesn't matter but then family dynamics are different, it depends on what is obtainable in your family.

The matter can never degenerate to slapping in some families but then these days that money is equivalent to respect in lots of communities I can't really say much.

I just find it disheartening that most advices are of get a job, make money etc.

It is well.