It is now exactly 2 weeks since I got into the United States of America on a tourist visa organized by my wonderful fiancée (of many years standing) who works with a travel agency in Lagos. Two agonizing weeks of utter confusion and indecision about coming back to Africa, I mean Nigeria, Lagos to be precise. I am not sure I have been able to catch more than a couple of hours sleep daily in the last 2 weeks trying to decide what in God’s good name I should do with my life. Two days from today, my official leave from my office in Lagos finishes and my ‘non refundable, unchangeable and lowest priced return ticket expires. Should I come back?

I am a medical doctor working in one of the highest paying medical jobs in Lagos at slightly above 100k a month, have held this job for just a few months now, and it has been my best job ever. Prior to starting work in this heavenly place, I was doing three (yes, three) jobs, 8am to 5pm(daily for 55k), 8pm to 7am (daily for 35k) and alternate weekends (Saturday 8am to Monday 7am for 7k), altogether 97k/month for doing three jobs. There are nights when I don’t get any sleep at all, days that I spend dosing while attending to patients and weekends that offer no respite whatsoever to my stress ridden work schedule. I have a car, (which my 13 year old niece hails as an ‘accident waiting to happen’) that ferries me to all these different hospitals where I work, several times in the past I have contemplated parking the car and using the horrible transport system in Lagos so I can save money on the maintenance of my vehicle: however, a personal experience with the popular ‘one chance’ bus robbers and several gory tales from my friends about this innovative robbers scare me so much that I continue sinking money into the car to keep it on the road.

Ever since I suffered a humiliating beating in the hands of mobile police thugs escorting a VIP, the sight of policemen gives me the jitters. The funny thing is that I got the beating after one of the sleek cars in the convoy brushed my jalopy, I heard the siren and quickly parked my car off the road, the VIP car still managed to come and hit me and I got beating black and blue for that, if I had been the one at fault would I still be alive today?

I am fed up of this country, everything just sucks, there is no way forward in this country. I am so Confused, should I really come back or become an illegal allien in yankee?

let me tell u a little something,
if you are rich i mean rich and u wan't relaxed life, go back to nigeria
if you are you're an average person and you're not sure about security stay in US but you'll get too much minor problem in yankee, like job issue, racism, boredom, stress, poverty if care is not taken, lonliness. no one cares, and b/4 a lil something happens u'll be like i don't belong here, no one cares bout me, i don't matter, they hate me, you can't trust them, i miss hoME. so u are left to decide to choose btw a relaxed life in naija or stress life in the cold. just be determined and sincere to urself

Even if you stay, one day you might be caught and deported. If you don't like the hectic Lagos life, you can move to a more peaceful town like Abeokuta. There are lots of happy people in Nigeria who are not doctors.

100k monthly is a lot more than what many happy Nigerians make. The money you spent on this trip could have made your life in Nigeria sweeter. Don't get depressed about Nigeria. As a medical doctor, you have options that the rest of us who are thriving in Nigeria do not even have.

You have to come back. You owe it to your wonderful fiancee who organized the trip for you. If you defect, she will not be able to organize such trips for others or herself in future. If you decide to stay illegally in the US, you would have betrayed your fiancee. Are you that kind of person?

first nigeria is not hopeless

well my guy you have a good thing going for you hear in niger, there will always be troblues no matter where you go its part of life and beside if you stay abroad and get deported then what will you do. come back home oooo

and if you really want to go apply for a visa so you dont get deported

My advice is that you dont spend a day more than is legal in US unless you are prepared to take worse insult from US police than you ever got in Nigeria.

My advice is that you dont spend a day more than is legal in US unless you are prepared to take worse insult from US police than you ever got in Nigeria.

Blabla it's up to you to decide .weigh the options urselve.Nigeria is not all that horrible like you said. l know a whole bunch of Nigerians here who would like to go but can't because they don't have anything to show  for having being in the states for a long time.Just listen to your heart.

Think about this:

your fiance of many years standing who organized the trip

Your 13 years old neice

Your job: you will not be able to get a job as an illegal immigrant,  you can't just become a street cleaner from a Doctor!! do u honetsly want that.

I'll advise you to try and get as much Vacancy as possible, try and organise a job so u can go back to nigeria and Enter back legally well prepared 

or else you will be stuck there rotten

beta start going 2 9ja, u make enough money so start going esp. if u r not a citizen of u.s, u will regret staying

Should you?

Don't be fooled you'll just be swapping one set of problems for another. Even Nigeria self is wonderful if you're on holiday there for just 2 weeks.

Return to Nigeria, if you really don't want to stay there then look for other legal ways to emigrate and it doesn't have to be to the US.

my friend, hmmm do you know what you wanna get yourself into?
Everybody has said it all. To live and enjoy in america, brother you need a green card or a working visa. otherwise, you cannot live the american dream.

My brother, you just have to go back home. It's never a good idea to leave illegally in a foreign land. Apart from that, i just believe there are better days ahead in Nigeria. Do not despise the days of your small beginnings. You ve got alot of opportunities as a Medical doctor, there are legal opportinities in the UK or even the US that u can explore, why not make enquiries about that instead in Nigeria.

The worst thing you will do to yourself is to stay a day longer than you are expected to live here. You dont only blakmail your name in the US but the chance of getting another visa to come here will be denied if you go home after your experation date. No one is above the law here so better start going home.

Other problems like my predicessors mentioned wil arise and u will feel like going back home. I am coming home myself when am done with this country. I think i will be happier in nigeria, I got family, got bros and sis, got my lovely girl friend and more in nigeria. Go home!!! homiee!!

Weigh ur options Guy. If it pays u more to stay or go then ul decide.

What will i do in ur shoes?, that i know 4 sure that i wont go back even if the heavens want to fall if i stay.

Cases differ so what i choose to do might not be the best course of action 4 u.

Dont mind all the 'patriots' talking about going home while they stay where they are,

but the most important thing is that the decision lies with u and ur circumstances.

If you go back to naija, u might not get a visa next time, and that is something i dont like thinking about personally.

Anyway guy, u r wearing the shoe sooooooooooooooo

My suggestion is that with your few remaining days, you either arrange a job or hustle to get admission for a post-collegiate program. That way you can get a school or work visa, and you can return to the US and stay legal longer.

As a Doctor you will find work, but if you are illegal, you'll find it difficult especially after 9/11. If it was b4 that you could take the risk, but now you'll be part of the underground economy, and your only choice then might be to get a wife. Your girlfriend no go like that wan.

Besides your passport has been disvirgined and you are a doctor with a job, if you decide to make your visits annual or return to school I seriously doubt you will be denied. If your intention was not to disappear upon arrival, it is hard to be prepared mentally. I wish you the best. I know its sweet, but starting afresh requires more than two weeks of planning, especially if you are illegal.

Please my friend dont just TRY IT

I AM ON MY KNEES.

mochafella:

My suggestion is that with your few remaining days, you either arrange a job or hustle to get admission for a post-collegiate program. That way you can get a school or work visa, and you can return to the US and stay legal longer.

As a Doctor you will find work, but if you are illegal, you'll find it difficult especially after 9/11. If it was before that you could take the risk, but now you'll be part of the underground economy, and your only choice then might be to get a wife. Your girlfriend no go like that wan.

Besides your passport has been disvirgined and you are a doctor with a job, if you decide to make your visits annual or return to school I seriously doubt you will be denied. If your intention was not to disappear upon arrival, it is hard to be prepared mentally. I wish you the best. I know its sweet, but starting afresh requires more than two weeks of planning, especially if you are illegal.

What a Bleep are your talking about? To stay in the use and pay more money for school to remain legal?? What is the gain of doing this when you know that international students are not allowed to work? Would you employ a medical doctor to do cleaning job for you in the US for the sake of staying here legally?Are u out of ur mind? A medical doctor come on? I will rather go back if i were in his shoes than to stay a day longer,

You are making money in Nigeria the best thing is to go back as most people hav said.

@blablabla
I know a couple of ppl have told u that u have it going in naija choping 100k, but my guy that is crap pay for a doctor, but then in naija, no respect for doctors, as a bloody IT guy I was chopping 3ce dat when I dey naija, so dont be fooled ure having it good. I took my time waka legit and by Gods grace have no regrets.

Having said dat I will join the rest of the bandwagon, NO, dont be illegal, not after 9/11. I will advice u spend d rest of ure days in US  going to d library talking to ppl and finding out about MCAT and medical schools etc. Go back home and plan ure trip, but be prepared that u might spend another 4 yrs or so just schooling to be considered an "american doctor" before u start making any serious money.

If you believe and have a vision, ready to sacrifice and do it legit, 4-5 yrs down d line u will be chopping d real american dream. And I mean chopping

If u stay illegal, boy, na suffer o

ajadudu:

Having said that I will join the rest of the bandwagon, NO, don't be illegal, not after 9/11. I will advice u spend d rest of ure days in US  going to d library talking to people and finding out about MCAT and medical schools etc. Go back home and plan ure trip, but be prepared that u might spend another 4 years or so just schooling to be considered an "american doctor" before u start making any serious money.

If you believe and have a vision, ready to sacrifice and do it legit, 4-5 years down d line u will be chopping d real american dream. And I mean chopping

If u stay illegal, boy, na suffer o

Let your focus be on the where you are going and not the things you see around you today or where you are coming from. As Ajadudu said, it may take some time, give it your best and be patient; you will get there.

Mix with the right folks, network with Naija Doctors and find out how things really work. Don't let brick-layers tell you how to build an aircraft.

By the way never describe our motherland "Hopeless". As long as their is life, their is hope, as long as we exisk as a nation, there is hope. We may have hopeless leaders today but that does not make our Nigeria Hopeless. I have a dream that one day, Nigeria will be the best country to live in.

Nigeria we hail thee!!!

ajadudu:

@blablabla
I know a couple of people have told u that u have it going in naija choping 100k, but my boy that is crap pay for a doctor, but then in naija, no respect for doctors, as a bloody IT boy I was chopping 3ce that when I dey naija, so don't be fooled ure having it good. I took my time waka legit and by Gods grace have no regrets.

Having said that I will join the rest of the bandwagon, NO, don't be illegal, not after 9/11. I will advice u spend d rest of ure days in US going to d library talking to people and finding out about MCAT and medical schools etc. Go back home and plan ure trip, but be prepared that u might spend another 4 years or so just schooling to be considered an "american doctor" before u start making any serious money.

If you believe and have a vision, ready to sacrifice and do it legit, 4-5 years down d line u will be chopping d real american dream. And I mean chopping

If u stay illegal, boy, na suffer o

There is no option about this situation, american dream as a doctor pays a lot but i tell you, you will not have time for other life responsibility. You will sign a document here in the us to love your job more than any other thing becasue you are dealing with life hence most doctors in the us have relationship problem.


If you thinking of making plan to study here, then start concidering this even better marry a female doctor who can comperhend with you when it starts. I know this for sure cos my uncle is a medical surgeon and they are the highest paid profession in the US but even at that, there is no happiness !

my humble step-grandpa ayo used to say "cut your coat according to your material" look bros. me i wont tell u not to stay illegally o. but what i'll tell u is once u stay illegal u kind of jump started unlimited misery. because all men are citizens and we still finding rubbish difficult. don't even ask me how many times a week i dream about being in naija. where i can live each day not worrying about tomorrow. where u could party and not worry about "oh i gotta be a work by 5am" i wont even start spilling all the classic stories i built in my quest to relax and enjoy life. how all men would party till 5am and still have to get to work by 7am till 6pm

long story short, u stay illegal u gonn be under the radar for everything. basically u'll be living a lie. u can't do nothing with yourself. aiight u get an off the book job, u can't put your money in the bank because what they'll ask for u don't have. yes u'll have friends that might be able to open up an account for u in their name but one lil argument and they'll want to take your money hostage.

I'll keep it simple.

Go back, and if you really MUST in the US or anywhere in the western world, do it legally,

The worst way to live you life over here is illegally. You will always be looking over your shoulders, and the fine life you crave may just pass you by.

@IjebuMan

Even Nigeria self is wonderful if you're on holiday there for just 2 weeks.

You nailed it, At least 4 me.

my advise to you is to return to Nigeria and get on with your life.When Amearica's own problems emerge, where will you run to?Are you tellling me that people are not dong well in Nigeria at all?Where did we get all these thought from? NIgeria may have her problems o but it is not that hopeless.look around you and try to find out why most of the CEOs are not leaving Nigeria after their terms.They are seeing oppurtunities in all the chaos we are complaining about.

My friends and I started our on business in Nigeria without knowing anyone and we are still in business today.we are not where we really wnat to be but we are not where we used to be.I really dont know what is wroing wit our generation. where are the men with guts?

First, come back home and change your circle of friends.Get mentors who have made significant progress and learn from them.The key to your success is within you-it is not outside you.

In the words of Late Benson Idahosa, If you are a lizard in Nigeria, going to America ill not make you a crocodile.

Well said.Go back to Nija,u even stand a better chance of getting visa if u want to go back to the US later on.And as a doctor,the US is the place to be,though legally.

blablabla,

this is coming in late but by american time, you're in the afternoon. just board that plane tomorrow and come back home. i believe you're a young man and if you're not looking in the right places, then you'll have a messy life. you choose your own destiny so don't think mine or any other person's is meant for you.

and stop insulting this country on a site like this no matter how bad it is. you should be aware that non-nigerians are members and some just browse through. that's a very bad headline you put up there.

@blablabla

(ONE)
The number mistake is that you waited for too long before you sought for advise. You should have asked for such advise before making the trip, maybe you could have gotten some advise, better than now that you are in a fix and your visa is almost expiring. You might have even gotten some good-samaritans who might fix things up for you before you arrive. I know Nigerians are a whole lot of nice people, aiint they.

so you wanted to go to America and twas your big dream, and now you're finally there, and so whats next,, do you come back or do you stay?

Unlike many of the yankee based posters who advised you to go-back-home because of a whole lot of reasons(suffer suffer that they/their friends have endured/are enduring(pls im sorry for that), or events they might have witnessed some nigerians passing through, and for which they bid you a caution(thank them for that)), and others from our nija brodas/sistas who say come back to home-sweet-home because of similar reasons(the hardship that 'illegals' in the US pass through, that they have witnessed or heard/read about), but perhaps in their heart of hearts, if they were to be in your position, they wont be asking for advise on nairaland, rather they would just disappear into the American thin-air, in a hope to pursue their own American dream, like my man 'sage' said, since you are wearing the shoe now, you better sit down, think hard(weighing all the pros and cons) and if you know your liver cant handle what may befall you as an over-staying african - an illegal immigrant to be precise(as has been postulated and itemized by other posters), you better get on the next plane bound for nija.

HOW MANY OF US WITHIN AND WITHOUT NIGERIAN SHORES HAVE A "NIGERIAN DREAM"?
is it not a hopeless situation, that even if you have such a dream, you'll gather for yourself a lot of enemies who wont allow you to realize it, and so you'll be forced to adopt the dreams of another land yonder? its a shame,

Back to you my broda on the other hand, if you want to damn the consequence and you feel in your deepest heart of heart that you can make it, abeg, stay put where you are. Where there is a will, there is a way, even in America.

(TWO)
Now that you are already there, if things dont work out: as in,, if you cant arrange yourself a job, an extended stay, a wife(your girl here will be mad) - i dont advise you to do this anyway, or become a student, do MCAT etc, as @ajadudu advised, if all those things are not possible in your limited time, I would adivse you to come back while the sun still shines. My reason for the advise is that you entered legally, and at least to prevent deportation(a big shame, and which will lead to future visa denials), come back and plan your strategy wellu wellu. Then launch out again. The next time you go applying for a visa, you would have a "credibility level", and you would be well prepared mentally, and properly networked.

A lot of nija dudes will be happy to have a good-samaritan, boyfriend-loving girlfriend who would go all the way to arrange them a U.S visa. So at least, if you come back legally, it wont be difficult for her to arrange you another one, and by then both of you would have planned your getaway, if you really want to leave nija shores.

You see, the best thing is to be in a position that if you want to leave the country at any time, you would be opportuned to, but to have your name on some blacklist somewhere aiint nothing to delve into, besides, once your name enters into their blackbook, you bet sure you might not be able to get visas to Europe.

(THREE)
For all those who are advising you that since you are making 100k in Nija, then everything is cool and rosy, dont bother about them. A 100k for a medical doctor, to me is trash. A nurse, a psychologist and other professions lesser than yours in the medical caliber earn more than you do, and yet they might not know as much as you know.

On a more serious note, I think if your wanting to stay put in the U.S is for the purpose of furthering your career and professional exposure, then i would encourage you to better look into the academic areas/linkages while in yankee land. The fact that our academic institutions here in Nija are a national-disaster, working your ass out in nija for a 100k when the world is moving on to the next level is not what you should be content with. I have a medical doctor brother too, who once told me of an experience he had delivering a baby and suddenly, NEPA resumed duty, and the nurse quickly had to assist him with a lantern and all he was shouting at her then was not to allow the lanterns kerosine to pour unto the fresh-baby and her mothers u-know-what, however, the nurse brought the lantern so close because none of them could see, besides that the lantern's shade was all blacked out, etc. now, you dont want to be living in such an environment, do you, nothing works in nija, we all know that.

Ten years from now, if you were to become a great scientist in the USA, these same nigerians who told you to go back/come back would gather together and be reading about you in the newspaper,,,,,saying,s yes o, thats the son of our soil, and you'll become everyones 'broda', blablabla, on the other hand, if you are deported and your face appears on the frontpage, its the same nigerians that will still gather together, reading the papers, and start calling you all sort of names,

If you have a vision and are ready to sacrifice, you'll get there man, no sweat. Not even george bush can stop yah.

What have i been saying? Home is where the heart is, if your heart is in nija, then come back, else if its outside these shores, then find where it is. Just make sure you do the legit. goodluck!!!

blablabla, like my people will say "ma se blabla".

You got to the US on a tourist VISA, the next sensible thing for you to do is to exit the country honourably by going to your country at the expiration of your VISA.

If you decided to stay behind you automatically become one of those that have been ruining the chance(s) of thousands of people that are daily refused VISA to the US.

If you are caught you risk not been able to enter the US for the next 10 years if not forever. With what i heard the congress is planning you may face (a) treasonable charge(s) if you are caught as an illegal immigrant.

Don't be carried away about what you see right now. When you fit into the system you will know it's not as easy as it seems.

You caid you are earning 100k/per month (after tax/expenses i presume), how i wish i can be going home with that per month.

With that if you can do some investments am sure you are on your way to ridding a [i]fly [/i]SUV in no time.

Think before you leap, you stand a better chance of securing another VISA to the US if you come back without been deported.


'sw

dear blablabla,
please i beg u, find ur way and remain in yankee.with the way things are going in naija,the future is uncertain,that job u have now, u are not sure it will be there in 2yrs.the country is unstable. find ur levels in the state.it's gonna be hard the 1st 2-3yrs,but other naijans there had it that way too and with time they balanced.

for ur fiancee,when u balance u can always bring her over.

don't bank on disvirgined passport,the way things are going in naija,visa is going to get tougher for naijans.i refer u to statements made in the state department website about nigeria in oct/nov 2005 and feb 2006.those yankees are thinking of ways to block visas everyday.naijans in u.k these days don't even find it easy to get visa to u.s how much more those in naija.(which kain disvirgined passport,haha)

broda no go naija o.with 3rd term and other problems,naija is unpredictable now.

as per 100k, haha, i'm not rich but that is small money,u can earn it's equivalent by even menial jobs while waiting for legitimacy and proffessional duty.u no go regret am,i tell u.
all da best
toshmann

larger_20:

What a mess are your talking about? To stay in the use and pay more money for school to remain legal??

In case you did not notice, I asked that he should go home and return for a post-collegiate qualification.

larger_20:

What is the gain of doing this when you know that international students are not allowed to work? Would you employ a medical doctor to do cleaning job for you in the US for the sake of staying here legally?

You are wrong here, you can work if you meet certain criteria, and it will be in the field that you are going to school for, not some cleaning job as you wrongly assume. Besides the school visa is only temporary, while you search for an employer to take you on afterwards.

larger_20:

Are u out of your mind?

was that really necessary?

larger_20:

I will rather go back if i were in his shoes than to stay a day longer,

I did ask him to go back and plan properly if it was truly his intention to "migrate" to the US. Do go back and read my post properly

someone said u can earn 100k in yankee with menial jobs and all that. see na there u suppose look as ur life take do summersault back to the boondocks.

as per 100k, haha, i'm not rich but that is small money,u can earn it's equivalent by even menial jobs while waiting for legitimacy and proffessional duty.u no go regret am,i tell u.

small math lesson for we. 100k=less than 1000 dollars a month. how u wan take pay bills or u go squat with person like say u dey unilag newest hall. the person wey advice u to do menial jobs till u get legit. u better ask his ass how u would get the menial job o b4 him run. cos obviosly him get crystal ball wey him don see say menial job don dey ground wey dey wait for u. i can go on and on but they say "eni ti o ba aja rin a je gbe" SHIKENA!