I've married for 8 years.  My wife and I have a general marriage life.  Everything is so fine till recently,
I met a lady in my working place.  My boss teamed us up for a project.  At first, I just thought she is a diligent, independent, and smart girl.  She is quite attractive, honestly, and is still single.  Well, I only take her as a good and close working buddy.  We often share lunch time talking about the project because there is really many details to work on.  The official meeting hours are not enough, and we both think discussing it outside the office hour is a good idea.  Somehow, we start to chat something beside the project because we agree both of us are quite team players and would like to know each other more.  We become close friends.  So far, it is good and my wife knows my special colleague as well.  Recently, I don't remember when and how we start the topic, that we start to talk about sex.  I suddenly find that we both have good preference on sex, and this topic really make us hot.  Real hot.  We really want to have sex with each other at those moments; however, we both stopped, which is good because I'm in a marriage.  Well, my wife never would like to talk about sex with me for those years even I've tried very hard to do that, then I give up.  Now there is a close working partner would like to share this erotic thoughts with me and at that time, even we did not really physically in touch with each other, the emotional and psychological connection is just perfect for both of us,  that feels really really good.  We both want to talk about it again and again to satisfy our imagination, say, fantasy.  It's really magical, indeed.

I don't know how to define this kind of relationship with this girl.  Am I having an affair with her?  Am I cheating on my wife?  Is there any implicit problem in my marriage that I keep indulging myself in this mental closeness with this girl?  What should I do?

You are very close to cheating on your wife. You need to figure out a way to get your wife interested in talking about sex, or else there will be big problems. This is a case of "unmet needs", the leading cause of marital infidelity. Calabarman, Cimonjorr, aqua, masters of seduction, please jump in and help this marriage! The clock has started ticking on it. Oh dear.

Just talk about ur project topic, and your project topic alone., Rest is easy

Just like Seun said, you're really close to cheat on your wife and complicate your marriage. I'm not saying you must stick to your marriage, but now is the time to evaluate the whole situation based on the facts and what will make you happy in life. Remember you have to focus on long term benefit rather than a short term gain of screwing this co-worker. It's not advisable to do a one-time with a co-worker.

You need to realize that after being married for a while , the grass starts to look greener on the other side. Marriage takes work to keep the flames glowing. Go home to your wife, invest the time you spend with this girl spicing up your relationship with your wife. Make her understand that there are areas of your marriage in which you are unfulfilled. She might not be as adventurous as you sexually, but i'm sure you can reach a compromise that will work for both of you. Please don't cheat on your wife, remember the vows that you made and take them seriously.

But you have to stop talking with the girl while we figure out what to do. Help!

Yea thats the truth, Stop talking to her rite now unless it becomes big trouble.

Thanks. It's hard not to talk to the girl. She is really nice and beautiful! But, I can try just to stick to the topics in the professional areas and else rather than sex.

By the way, I wanna work on the marriage with my wife. and I hope be honest to let my wife know this kind of experience I have with my coworker. If I don't let her know, she won't even consider there's some "unmet needs" existing between us. How should I tell her and let her face the truth and make things better?

It's hard not to talk to the girl. She is really nice and beautiful!

Oh dear. There is fire on the mountain. Please, this friendship has to go on a break today!

I hope be honest to let my wife know this kind of experience I have with my coworker.

It won't help. You can only tell her when you have stopped talking to the girl for a complete month. The way she will react as a typical Nigerian woman will only push you closer to the girl. Please don't tell her.

What you need to figure out is how to get her interested in sex talk. Tell us about your wife. Is she beautiful? Is she old? Is she smart? Is she a stay-at-home mom, a businesswoman or an office worker herself? Is she the church-going type that thinks that sex is dirty, unspiritual, and only suitable for making babies?

Well CONSULTANt has advised u better pls. My marriage will be 10 this June, full of ups and downs due to unwarranted extra marital affairs I found myself in, carelessly. It was really troublous for us to sort it out, but my wife really tried, by standing by me to make sure that I forget about what happened in time.

In fact am planning to buy her a JEEP for our wedding anniversary in June. Pls open up to your wife, plead with her prayerfully, while letting her realise her worth to you. All will be well. As for your colleagu, pls be careful, cos mine also was like your story

if you give in and have sex with her or start a sexuall relationship with her, it will be fun yea but how long will it last a week? a month? and then what if your wife finds out you break her heart she gets a divorce all for some fantasy .its never worth it talk to wife and let her know how much you would like to talk about sex and better stop talking sex with that girl before you start having sex with her

My own opinion is this - if you are going to do it, just make sure that nobody discovers it. I'm not saying that you should do it, but if you do do it any anybody knows about it, your marriage will suffer. It is better to cheat and not let anybody know than to cheat and break someones heart.

I feel like flogging you right now or pouring pepper in ur eyes. you are so so dumb. Pls, just say it to us, you want to have an affair with this girl. She finer than your wife and u using style to say bla , bla bla. Once u cheat with the girl, she leave you. Don't forget why you fell in love with ur wife in the first place, all becos of this asshole, you want to leave all for that . pls, wake up and smell the ogbono soup. immature man

Heh, disney, you must have been cheated on in the past. Sorry!

How does a man get his wife interested in talking about sex?

@Seun,

Ask Dr Phil.

flee from temptation

thatz right u better flee and flee quick, the worst thing u'll do is to cheat on your beloved wifey
try to stop sex talks with the girl because the more you talk about sex the more you both wanna feel it and if you do you won't like the outcome
please for the sake of love (your wife's love) and for te good of everyone

for the sake of your marriage and reputation i mean what has she got that your wife hasnt dont even think of it

@ Markesh, jeez men, a guy gives u a distress call and asks u wat to do and u reply do it? do what men

Rhodalyn:

for the sake of your marriage and reputation i mean what has she got that your wife hasnt don't even think of it

Umm, good looks, an interest in him, interest in similar activities, a coworker, should I go on?

Ilovepda

please tell me are you male or female? i was reading one post of yours from earlier this year, and like here again i am confused are you pulling the wool over our eyes?

I was going to reply but thought i ask first save wasting my time if you are doing this for fun , forgive me if i am wrong. below is what i mean

[Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? ]

@ bettyboop, i dont get u? i'm confused.

He/she posted as a woman in this thread, and now he or she is posting as a man. I think he/she is a woman.

@bettyboop:I was going to ask the same question becaue i just read one of his/her posts. Hmmmm.
@seun, the he/she thing is really funny to read. oh my!

i think ilovepda is a girl, are you, ilovepda?

i was reading her/his posts as well. interesting stories, though. either she/he is a fiction writer doing some research, or she/he is sharing the id with her/his friends for those people have similar problems, or she/he is really fooling us

anyways, it's my first time on this site and it's an interesting fact to discuss.

I think Ilovepda is a huge fake. I mean look at the similarities of the stories, stuff to do with sex and unfaithfulness in marriage, and then posing as a male and female in both instances. We have been decieved. yeye pesin. i no no whether to call u man or woman sef.

chai, i don dieeeeeeee!!!! una no go kill me for here oo. the he/she thing really is hilarious, at least i find it so.lol

Cant u guyz do mathematics ?! If he is wondering if "She should tell his wife he is having an affair with her" then and now he is close to having an affair with another "Her" it could be explianed like this.

He is gay and the female partner in the first case and the masculine partner in this case

:lol guys are sooo funny in here. l can't stop laughing .

I'm ignoring all the jokes to answer the author of this post with hope that he's not playing with my mind.
I think I understand that after 8 years of marriage, u kinda wanna try something u don't get to do in your marriage( in this case that will be talking about sex with ur wife) however, it's a huge risk if not a mistake. It's a risk because u are neglecting 8 years of marriage for something that will fetch u about 10% happiness while ur wife provides the 90%. It's a huge risk because if u go for it, it could potentially ruin ur marriage which u might not see at this current time. This whole situation is considered a temptation. It is easier to avoid temptation that to overcome it. Well, some how u couldn't avoid it and now she's working with u, all u gotta do is to overcome it.
My friend, weigh the pros and cons before u make your decision because u know what's best for u. Here lies the option of good and bad but the choice is yours!

He is just a story-teller. Definitely good at it!!!