Hi, guys i am new on dis thread. I need ur adivice, i married a woman with 2 kids ten yrs ago and i have been takeing care of them,there schools and all what it take to bring up kids .I  one day her daughter start to me how her mum was forecing them to go with her to see there father and she worn them not to let me know .The girl told me so many things .That anytime i Travel on a business trip ,she take them to him . And my wife has never told me  .I can t understand her way .Mayb she want to go back to him or what .Why silence to me about. If not 4 her daughter i will not have know all dis. She told me not to her mum know dat she told. All dis happening in my house . I am afraid. Pls adivice me.

dat is a very confusing situation as u'll neva know her motives

da only tin u have now is ur right as da man of da house 2 know wat ever goes on under ur roof

sit her down and let her know u've found out about da father of her children & her visits and it's not a bad idea since her children deserve 2 know thier father,u must not make her feel guilty becos she 'll defend her actions,

u'll not do dis once & expect 2 know everytin, so u'll keep watch & communicate dis once in a while.
Don't assume anytin yet untill u are well knowledgeable about her motives, cheers cos it might not be wat u think.

Dada22. A big thanx

what a nerve recking situation ur in, u need to talk to ur wife, uve been with each other long enough to be able to talk and undertasnd each other, i think uve always admired ur wifes way of thinking since this incedent had put u in loss and caused u a lot of confusion!! talk to here and try understand her point of view, u have been good to her children and taken care of them which was a fine thing of u to do and shows what ur made of but they r and will remain the children of thier natural father it is natural that they come closer to him and know him better maybe that is what ur wife had in mind she is seeking her children best interest and if thats what she wants try and keep an open mind and open eye so every thing will go around u instead of behind u, give her the benifit of doupt before u jump into conclusions,

Thanx

lots of line u didnt include;
1. did u ask of their father b4 ur wedding;
2. were dy actually married or she just had the 2 children out of wedlock;
3. how did u meet her, morally;
4. was she divorced b4 ur wedding;
5. do u both have kids of ur own;
6. honestly, 4give my bluntness, didnt u ever think d kids would never ask for their biological father? cos it seems dy actually knew u were not their father
7. didnt u legally adopt them, d kids i mean n were ur grounds while applying for the adoption.
when u give honest answersto this questions u r most likely close to resolving ur confusion.

take care

@cliveland! good post my broda. just want to add. now that you know, just take things easy, i know it will hard for you to do but be a man and talk to her. just as cliveland said, ask her about the wareabout of the children father and see her reaction and what you might do to make the children too see their father. her conciences to will judge her if she is hidding things from you.

Best of luck.