Imagine if the vow taken at the Alter before you are pronounced Husband and Wife was said this way "For Better for Worse, ,   TO BEAR OR NOT TO BEAR CHILDREN, Till Death Do Us Apart" Amen.  Would you have still gotten married/will you ever consider still getting married or rather stay unmarried and sire children out of wedlock?

I personally  think Nigerian men would never have gotten married if that be the case but what's your own answer/opinion? There is a poll set up for that, and your response is greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Keziah:

Imagine if the vow taken at the Alter before you are pronounced Husband and Wife was said this way "For Better for Worse, ,   TO BEAR OR NOT TO BEAR CHILDREN, Till Death Do Us Part

Kezi, I don't see many men answering this thread because this is a very thorny issue. Even if the man decides to make that vow, the society we live in will not allow him to live it down. Overtly and covertly, the man will be pressured to break the vow by either looking for someone else to sire his kids or break the marriage vows completely.

Why not? Afterall many claim to marry for love nowdays and they can adopt if they want. But this apply to both sex. If you like born one or Ten that will still not prolong ur longevity . Personal opinion though.

This is a non issue since most men around the world do what they want to do anyway. No one has a gun to your head to tell you how to live your life these days.  So your offers or conditions have no bearing with what is happening in the real time and world of things. Men have all kinds of families around the world including single and married gay couples with children.  So what is your point?

Not a do or die affair sister!  It is all about choice and preference and as you can see, many are choosing not to marry or marry and get out faster than you got in.  Others have 9 children from 10 women without marrying any of the females.  There are not rules anymore--understand?

My point?  Marriage is not as fashionable as it used to be ---anywhere in the world!

My point?  Marriage is not as fashionable as it used to be ---anywhere in the world!

@ almondjoy
Says who? I think that's a Myopic view. No offenses!

I still have tons of friends who vow to do anything to get married even if it's only the Court Wedding they have the privilege of doing. That way you are dignified and ur children don't have to be labelled 'Bastards' by Society, and besides one still has the right to lay claim when married properly.

This thread applies to both sex, so who said there are rules anymore? Please get real.

Keziah:

Why not? Afterall many claim to marry for love nowdays and they can adopt if they want. But this apply to both sex. If you like born one or Ten that will still not prolong your longevity . Personal opinion though.

I think you particularly directed the question at men or at least your opinion pointed in that direction. You need to rephrase the question, perhaps? Anywayz, I'm a Nigerian, I live in Nigeria and I speak from the context of the society I live in. I see the many "katakatas" that child issues cause in this society. Even the sex of a child is a very big issue and causes untold problems in marriages. Like I said, covertly or overtly, men are made to conform to the societal expectations for procreation. I know of more women who would stick with a man if he's the one that has infertility problems. I stand to be corrected.

See the rate of divorce or sham marriages?  I think people are just not in the marriage craze thing these days.  More ladies are single and more men are homosexuals by the day.  So look around you and see for yourself.  Just the reality, nothing myopic about this at all. For ladies, marriage is a do or die affair, but for guys, naaaaaaaaaaa. Frankly over here, most will rather find themselves in jail.

You have spoken from a female's perspective and I have spoken from a male's perspective. This is my opinion, not a generalization representing "all males".

Why not - if she can stand it. However, a childles marriage in a society like ours is at best difficult. Nearly impossible to live through. Unrealistic ladies and guys might say "it's between my wife and I . . . " but in actual fact, we're all family subsets of a larger societal subset - subject to the whims over-bearing and governing majority. Anyway, you've given me an idea. I'm about to start a quite curious yet in effect (in terms of distribution) prevalent and rampant topic. I'll start the thread right after replying this one. Join me on it if you're like minded. And it's for real so no kidding around!

@liftedone
I love your reply and the way you analyzed everything.

I wasn't directing the question to men, but i actually thought it's laughable at the way Nigerian men view the issue of having children in married as a criteria for them getting married. I was watching Catalina Y Sebastain yesterday and Observed that the Kikis never had a child of their own but they were still married till old age.

My sis if na Naijaman them go don divorce the woman tey tey and marry hundreds after her if them no produce Pikin(s), even if na the man get problem.

Beware of living life out of context. This is Nigeria, I mean. While a childless marriage may mean nothing to some of us, we may still buckle under external pressure. I'm not kidding myself that I'd shoulder the world (as the god Atlas) in the event of a childless marriage. I'm only human. Worse yet, I'm Nigerian . . . . .

Saipro:

Beware of living life out of context. This is Nigeria, I mean. While a childless marriage may mean nothing to some of us, we may still buckle under external pressure. I'm not kidding myself that I'd shoulder the world (as the god Atlas) in the event of a childless marriage. I'm only human. Worse yet, I'm Nigerian . . . .  .

Well said, saipro, but is there any hope that this might change? It's always sad to see a once happy relationship breakdown in our society because of the absence of children. Even among christians.

But the thread is not only focusing on Nigerian men or women but the whole world in general because as much as we desire or try we can never create children out of our wish and despiration but God gives as He wishes. I guess that's why they never included that part in the citation of the marriage vow. If not, Sapiro i sure say na your kinsmen for first stand up hala 'HE DON'T' before you for say 'I DO' Talk true she i lie?

Children are one of the major reasons that keep your marriage going; in Nigeria today, most marriages would have collapsed if it isn’t producing any fruit.

I personally would go into that kind of marriage. I mean how would you be with someone all your life without anything to show for it? It’s ridiculous. There have to be children that you can be proud of; every man wants to be a father and when you deprive him of that, then that would be the end of the relationship.

crazykid:

Children are one of the major reasons that keep your marriage going; in Nigeria today, most marriages would have collapsed if it isn’t producing any fruit.

I personally would go into that kind of marriage. I mean how would you be with someone all your life without anything to show for it? It’s ridiculous. There have to be children that you can be proud of; every man wants to be a father and when you deprive him of that, then that would be the end of the relationship.

Which would you have preferred? Being married to a Jezebel with a dozen of kids and you are not happy, or being married to an Angel without children but u are comfortable with the woman you got married to? It depends on what you want out of life and ur home.

Different Stroke for Different Folks!