₦airaland Forum

Hi parents.

Please I need help, my 9 years old son is very slow at learning. Not to say too much:

He started schooling at 2 ( from nursery)
I spend time to teach him and when I noticed I wasn't patience with his speed I hired a home tutor.
Aside the home tutor I still personally teach
I am not an absentee mother at allllll. There is hardly a day I don't teach him 1 or two things.


But

My son never assimilate, I teach him 1 thing for 1 year buy na lie he will forget it.


Am sad, am unhappy I have done all humanly possible, he is lazy, reading is had for him, 2 times table is war. To add 2 to 2 is war, I pay home tutors with no results. This is wastage, atimes I stop and I begin again. I pay extra for lessons at school no results.

Am crying and tired, I have no one one to help, am all alone in this. Am in pain, I don't know how long this will go. I don't want him to end up with poor grades and can't move on with school.

Am so scared and I don't know how this will end. Am weak and full of pain concerning this boy.

I need tips, I have used pictures, audio, video, YouTube, everything. I don't know if this is spiritual, I have prayed. Done all I could do. He can't even spell 3 letter words, it's that baddddddd.

Atimes I ask myself how years passed by that he hasn't still improved but looking back, I haven't rested all the years.

Kindheartedd:
Hi parents.

Please I need help, my 9 years old son is very slow at learning. Not to say too much:

He started schooling at 2 ( from nursery)
I spend time to teach him and when I noticed I wasn't patience with his speed I hired a home tutor.
Aside the home tutor I still personally teach
I am not an absentee mother at allllll. There is hardly a day I don't teach him 1 or two things.


But

My son never assimilate, I teach him 1 thing for 1 year buy na lie he will forget it.


Am sad, am unhappy I have done all humanly possible, he is lazy, reading is had for him, 2 times table is war. To add 2 to 2 is war, I pay home tutors with no results. This is wastage, atimes I stop and I begin again. I pay extra for lessons at school no results.

Am crying and tired, I have no one one to help, am all alone in this. Am in pain, I don't know how long this will go. I don't want him to end up with poor grades and can't move on with school.

Am so scared and I don't know how this will end. Am weak and full of pain concerning this boy.

I need tips, I have used pictures, audio, video, YouTube, everything. I don't know if this is spiritual, I have prayed. Done all I could do. He can't even spell 3 letter words, it's that baddddddd.

Atimes I ask myself how years passed by that he hasn't still improved but looking back, I haven't rested all the years.

Dont give up on him
You will see the way his life will turn out to be,
You will be proud of him later on
Such people like are most times gifted in one aspect or the other,
I am not trying to console you or any shit, people like that, once like you discover what they can do best, they become a phenomenal

You are under pressure trying to conform to societal ways of life,

If I should start spewing words out, time will not be enough
Everything is not school, life itself is a school, will naturally teach him,
Keep from anything that will put him or you from societal pressure

At least he is useful in other aspect of life
Lastly pray for him
Everything no be school
School things are becoming archaic in our present World

Consult experts in children education, some kids are like that when growing up, some kids with special needs like yours end up being genius,seek help with experts,be patient with him,and shower him Love like your life depends on it,

Is he able to verbally communicate with you clearly and effectively?

Don't blame your Son, he is not a slow learner , I once went to teach in a school as part of my Pro Bono service for the holidays. It was simple mathematics, actually it was supposed to be computer science but no light, they were a set of twins , the first sister couldn't solve the simplest mathematics and I was curious, most times the second sister offers to help her, then I asked the second sister this is too simple even a primary school people should know this , how much more someone about to be a senior student. Then she explained to me, her brain is tithed towards Art,she can draw , she has strong imaginative skills not analytical skills. So I don't judge her anymore. A fish will swim well in water but struggles on land.

Hisroyalbadmeat:
Consult experts in children education, some kids are like that when growing up, some kids with special needs like yours end up being genius,seek help with experts,be patient with him,and shower him Love like your life depends on it,

to waste her money right 👍

The child might good in aspect of learning

Kindheartedd:
Hi parents.

Please I need help, my 9 years old son is very slow at learning. Not to say too much:

He started schooling at 2 ( from nursery)
I spend time to teach him and when I noticed I wasn't patience with his speed I hired a home tutor.
Aside the home tutor I still personally teach
I am not an absentee mother at allllll. There is hardly a day I don't teach him 1 or two things.


But

My son never assimilate, I teach him 1 thing for 1 year buy na lie he will forget it.


Am sad, am unhappy I have done all humanly possible, he is lazy, reading is had for him, 2 times table is war. To add 2 to 2 is war, I pay home tutors with no results. This is wastage, atimes I stop and I begin again. I pay extra for lessons at school no results.

Am crying and tired, I have no one one to help, am all alone in this. Am in pain, I don't know how long this will go. I don't want him to end up with poor grades and can't move on with school.

Am so scared and I don't know how this will end. Am weak and full of pain concerning this boy.

I need tips, I have used pictures, audio, video, YouTube, everything. I don't know if this is spiritual, I have prayed. Done all I could do. He can't even spell 3 letter words, it's that baddddddd.

Atimes I ask myself how years passed by that he hasn't still improved but looking back, I haven't rested all the years.

I understand how you feel ma...
But your son is not a problem. I can imagine the frustration spending so much money and it seems all is a waste.
Let him keep learning... he will turn out well in life.

Try to know his interest and double down on that instead... If possible, introduce him to tech to see if that will catch his attention instead.

Babangidapikin:
Don't blame your Son, he is not a slow learner , I once went to teach in a school as part of my Pro Bono service for the holidays. It was simple mathematics, actually it was supposed to be computer science but no light, they were a set of twins , the first sister couldn't solve the simplest mathematics and I was curious, most times the second sister offers to help her, then I asked the second sister this is too simple even a primary school people should know this , how much more someone about to be a senior student. Then she explained to me, her brain is tithed towards Art,she can draw , she has strong imaginative skills not analytical skills. So I don't judge her anymore. A fish will swim well in water but struggles on land.

Thanks for this brr

Your son likes cartoons right?

Change the cartoons he watches to educational ones. Not the ones where they play/fight all through neither the ones where they learn all through.

Let him watch the ones where they learn and play.


Another thing, just because you know how to add 2+2 doesn’t mean you can teach a child. The teachers at school or the lesson teachers who probably studied something unrelated to teaching children may not be able to either. You lose your patience at home but you have no idea how the teacher treats your son in school

You may be your child's last hope but you’ve passed it to someone else (lesson teacher)

Blame your son but have you bothered to learn how to teach? Please do some research on how to teach children and fire that lesson teachers.

Don’t overwhelm your son with information
Reward him with praises or a little break to play when he gets something right.

If you are too hard on him, he will only learn how to memorise to please you.

Every failed accountant, chemist, engineering student is now a teacher at school or lesson teacher at home. Nigeria wey teachers no sabi spell again, schools now employ secondary school leavers to teach children. Paying children peanuts to teach children in their formative years. Lol.
Nigeria wey teachers dey hungry dey chop pikin lunch for school 😂

You heard about one of the world dullest brain dead from the very onset? The man who found general electric, his teacher asked the parents that he's never going to amount to nothing that he was learning difficulties, but in the end nko😁. Madam live that boy alone. Abeg.

Based on what you have shared, there are clearly cognitive and learning needs. So, there is need for professional intervention.

He needs to be assessed by an Educational Psychologist, to identify his specific learning difficulties and provide recommendations to better support him in school and at home.

If need be, the EP can signpost him for further professional interventions.

He probably inherited his father's dull brain. If that is the case...otilor. Just identify his strengths and encourage him. He still has a long way to go and it's too late to give up on him.

We4all:
He probably inherited his father's dull brain. If that is the case...otilor. Just identify his strengths and encourage him. He still has a long way to go and it's too late to give up on him.

Haba madam,this is too harsh nau.

Thank you so much. I'll keep doing what I do.

AMEN to your prayers.

Powerbandooo:
Dont give up on him
You will see the way his life will turn out to be,
You will be proud of him later on
Such people like are most times gifted in one aspect or the other,
I am not trying to console you or any shit, people like that, once like you discover what they can do best, they become a phenomenal

You are under pressure trying to conform to societal ways of life,

If I should start spewing words out, time will not be enough
Everything is not school, life itself is a school, will naturally teach him,
Keep from anything that will put him or you from societal pressure

At least he is useful in other aspect of life
Lastly pray for him
Everything no be school
School things are becoming archaic in our present World

Thanks everyone for your comments.

Madam try your best and always lay your hands on him and pray for him. Also 'school ' as we know it is not the only road to success. Look for a good handwork and enrol him early. Before he is out of his teens, he will be a master and start earning.

Don't force him. Buy him ps vita and watch him play games. He must sharp for something. E fit sharp for something wey u never discover.
Education na scam.
Test am now.
Go buy lapy
Put am in front of am
No shock say he go type how to bomb at early age for google.
Abi dat one no sharp

Let me first ask you
Since he started nursery at 2 years, how old is he now?

Hi @kindheartedd, my first son used to be like this but I found out early enough. He was three and half years but could only identify and write number 1 and he started school by 2. What did I do:

I went to a bookshop, I got different colours of cardboards, flash cards, writing pad, coloring book and other things that made learning fun.

I started by teaching him how to identify the numbers and letters before making him write them.

I know you won't believe me but my son was able to write 1 to 15 within one month. I was able to achieve what his teachers failed to achieve in 1 and half years in one month.

I'm not saying that you've not tried o, but you can't give up on him now. If my mum had given up on me, I don't think I'll be where I am today.

During my early years, I also had problems catching up fast. I was in primary 3 and could not identity the alphabets and numbers.

What did my mum do? She changed my school and the teacher took me back to nursery 1. Can you imagine? To make matters worse, I started school by 6 years old. So, I was about 9 years old in that nursery 1. I would cry home many times and report my classmates for making fun of me but my mum paid no attention. She said it was for my own good.

Guess what? After a year in nursery one, I was promoted to primary one, and another double promotion to primary three. And from that point, I changed school twice and I always led the class.

What am I trying to tell you?

Please, try to work on your son's foundation. Start from the beginning. Don't pressure him.

Make learning fun for him. Get interesting items at the bookshop and try to figure out his strength. Start from the foundation. He might be struggling with some learning difficulties and only you can help him.

Things are easier now. We have various learning materials online and it's easy to teach these days.

Teach him with sounds. It helps a lot. If you don't know the sounds, learn it and master it. Then teach him and make lots of examples with the sounds. See, if you follow my tips religiously, your child will be unstoppable. My child now makes me proud but I'm still working on him. Up until now, he doesn't learn that fast o, but once he gets it, he'll be the one teaching the entire class. He's learning at his own pace and since I've known, I don't rush him.

Such kids needs a lot of patience and private tutor can't give you that. Thats why I said you will still be the one to work on him. Go back to your drawing board and change your teaching methods. If it takes one month to learn one topic, please take your time with him.

Children are built differently. My second child, a girl, is totally different. This girl grabs quickly and learns fast. I don't do much and she understands. So, please don't give up on him and don't compare him with his peers.

There's something again, please shower him with lots of love and give him gifts whenever he does well. It would encourage him. And don't make him feel bad about himself when teaching him. Take your time and be very patient with him.

Reduce your child's screen time. Also, if he gets tired easily when learning, don't rush him too much. Take it one step at a time. One topic at a time. Don't go to the next topic until he gets it.

Get Queen Primer 1 and 2 (Don't know if i got the spelling)

See, most teachers are after their salary. They'll rush your child off and go to the next student. They're after their pockets and you can't really blame them. There are bills to pay. Only you can help your child. Please don't give up on him.
Above all, pray for him.

PLEASE NO CHILD IS DULL!!! Work on him.
I pray that God will give him retentive memory and make it easy for you.

Kindheartedd:
Hi parents.

Please I need help, my 9 years old son is very slow at learning. Not to say too much:

He started schooling at 2 ( from nursery)
I spend time to teach him and when I noticed I wasn't patience with his speed I hired a home tutor.
Aside the home tutor I still personally teach
I am not an absentee mother at allllll. There is hardly a day I don't teach him 1 or two things.


But

My son never assimilate, I teach him 1 thing for 1 year buy na lie he will forget it.


Am sad, am unhappy I have done all humanly possible, he is lazy, reading is had for him, 2 times table is war. To add 2 to 2 is war, I pay home tutors with no results. This is wastage, atimes I stop and I begin again. I pay extra for lessons at school no results.

Am crying and tired, I have no one one to help, am all alone in this. Am in pain, I don't know how long this will go. I don't want him to end up with poor grades and can't move on with school.

Am so scared and I don't know how this will end. Am weak and full of pain concerning this boy.

I need tips, I have used pictures, audio, video, YouTube, everything. I don't know if this is spiritual, I have prayed. Done all I could do. He can't even spell 3 letter words, it's that baddddddd.

Atimes I ask myself how years passed by that he hasn't still improved but looking back, I haven't rested all the years.

Don't be sad, I have a 16 almost 17 year old son who struggles academically yet is the sweetest soul. He has been diagnosed with adhd, but even I his mom, his dad and even his sister suspectibly have adhd too.

Whilst we the parents grew up in Nigeria and were able to navigate our neurodivergency to become successful functional adults, I worry that he is growing at a time and place (UK) where if care isn't given the adhd is seen as a weakness and rather than a superpower. In Nigeria whereas a child is challenged academically and if not doing well enough he is made to repeat a class, here children are moved on in class with the notion that every child doesn't need to be academically successful.

Do note some of the brightest people on earth all have some form of neurodivergency; Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Albert Einstein etc. Finding s child's individual strength is a good way to hone on neurodivergency, it can be a superpower rather than an impediment. Have your child tested for learning difficulties, and work with him to be the best version of himself

I have tried the african parenting of being a tiger mum etc but hr just isn't the brightest nor most organised. I realise that adhd can show differently in each individual, for me and my daughter we're both extremely bright n intelligent, however it comes through in our organisation and in my daughter's case in her tidiness and social skills. The dad on the other hand is also smart, but only in things that interest him. I am.consoled that even the dad recall repeating a class in secondary school, been scolded as a child for been a dunce and that the coin didn't drop in his brain until he was in his 3rd year at uni, when he started trying to associate with the bright colleagues and changed his learning and revision habits.

This is great consolation to me, I realise and accept that each child/person will come into it at different times and stages.

It is not the destination but about the journey, I want my child to live a happy choldhood, one not filled with condemnation and shame.

I will rather guide him with love and acceptance that castigate and pressurise him unnecessarily. It takes a lot of acceptance to get here, but success isn't about gtades, awards, the bank balance, nor assets, a successful adult is defined as one who is happy with his current state.

The financially succesful, thriving top shotters etc aren't exactly the happiest people on earth.

Kindheartedd

If you're in Lagos, please go to General Hospital Lagos Island and request to see a Paediatrician. The Paediatrician will be able to diagnose for any medical condition and even will know Educational Consultants to send you to.

Once you can meet an Educational Consultant and they worked with your son, you'll have a plan on how to support and push him further.

You're strong, mama. You got this. Always rely on God when you have bad days.

And remember, his path may not be academic and still be great.

tsmith:
Don't be sad, I have a 16 almost 17 year old son who struggles academically yet is the sweetest soul. He has been diagnosed with adhd, but even I his mom, his dad and even his sister suspectibly have adhd too.

Whilst we the parents grew up in Nigeria and were able to navigate our neurodivergency to become successful functional adults, I worry that he is growing at a time and place (UK) where if care isn't given the adhd is seen as a weakness and rather than a superpower. In Nigeria whereas a child is challenged academically and if not doing well enough he is made to repeat a class, here children are moved on in class with the notion that every child doesn't need to be academically successful.

Do note some of the brightest people on earth all have some form of neurodivergency; Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Albert Einstein etc. Finding s child's individual strength is a good way to hone on neurodivergency, it can be a superpower rather than an impediment. Have your child tested for learning difficulties, and work with him to be the best version of himself

I have tried the african parenting of being a tiger mum etc but hr just isn't the brightest nor most organised. I realise that adhd can show differently in each individual, for me and my daughter we're both extremely bright n intelligent, however it comes through in our organisation and in my daughter's case in her tidiness and social skills. The dad on the other hand is also smart, but only in things that interest him. I am.consoled that even the dad recall repeating a class in secondary school, been scolded as a child for been a dunce and that the coin didn't drop in his brain until he was in his 3rd year at uni, when he started trying to associate with the bright colleagues and changed his learning and revision habits.

This is great consolation to me, I realise and accept that each child/person will come into it at different times and stages.

It is not the destination but about the journey, I want my child to live a happy choldhood, one not filled with condemnation and shame.

I will rather guide him with love and acceptance that castigate and pressurise him unnecessarily. It takes a lot of acceptance to get here, but success isn't about gtades, awards, the bank balance, nor assets, a successful adult is defined as one who is happy with his current state.

The financially succesful, thriving top shotters etc aren't exactly the happiest people on earth.

Apt
Let them learn and play chess.

I remember one of my cousin too . He was the slowest learner amongst all of us . Now he’s a Major in the US Marine Corps ( highly decorated) . He had an amazing score when he wrote SAT & was given a full scholarship @ Age 16 . He opened for the military . some children start slow , but when they pick , there’s non stopping them .

From your write-up, you're spending too much time on the academical or book learning. Look out for what your son is good at and let him build a skill/skills on it/them, albeit ensure he gets education even if he's poor at it. I am not a professional therapist but from environmental experience, your child may have had a trauma(brain injury, etc) when he was born/young that has affected his learning.

I'd say you build him on his inate skills and let him be excellent at them. The education aspect is just to get his reading, writing and communication skills aright.

I've had school colleagues whom people termed as dullard outstandingly succeed in different endeavours more than the bright ones.

If you're well-off, you can enroll him in a special school and give him a personal therapist. It may not cure him but it would definitely help him become the best of him.

Your son may have a learning disability that means he will not learn the way we do. Sit down and observe how he learns. There will be certain things that interest him, find out what it is and teach him. Also, a lot of Nigeria education is based on cramming and not making learning fun. If there is a way you can make it fun and not confusing or scary for him. He may get more comfortable and have interest. If he learns differently and has different interests, use those interests to teach him.

Try and listen to Damilola Mike Bamiloye story on YouTube, .. the guy said he was a dullard, such that his mum use to cry on him every day. They hired a lesson teacher. The person willingly resign after no improvement.
But today he is making his generation proud.

Pls don't give up on him

Hi Kindhearted.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Is your child good at other things like drawing?
Does your child enjoy doing things with his hands?
Is your child good at role-play and drama?

Your child might just be a tactile learner.
Tactile learners can only assimilate and remember things when they do them with their hands. Think painting, colouring, gardening, building, and science practicals.

And you should invest in activity books or hands-on learning sessions. Check out this book "Problem Solving and Critical Thinking Activity Book" by Miss Sumayyah. You should also engage him in online games like Kahoot, Prodigy Math, ScholarsDo, etc.

There has been extensive research done on learners like your boy. They make the best artists, scientists, and engineers.

Your child is not slow, he just learns differently.

Learning & teaching experts can actually help. You with this. At times it could be the conditioning of environment or the environment itself that you live or where he schools that can be the difference. It could be that when you try to introduce and spark his curiosity with some specially chosen colors that could trigger his brain to learn and assimilate.

Just try to read up much about how to get a slow learner to improve (gradually or speedily) and consult experts in that profession. It's a special skill.

Kindheartedd:
Hi parents.

Please I need help, my 9 years old son is very slow at learning. Not to say too much:

He started schooling at 2 ( from nursery)
I spend time to teach him and when I noticed I wasn't patience with his speed I hired a home tutor.
Aside the home tutor I still personally teach
I am not an absentee mother at allllll. There is hardly a day I don't teach him 1 or two things.


But

My son never assimilate, I teach him 1 thing for 1 year buy na lie he will forget it.


Am sad, am unhappy I have done all humanly possible, he is lazy, reading is had for him, 2 times table is war. To add 2 to 2 is war, I pay home tutors with no results. This is wastage, atimes I stop and I begin again. I pay extra for lessons at school no results.

Am crying and tired, I have no one one to help, am all alone in this. Am in pain, I don't know how long this will go. I don't want him to end up with poor grades and can't move on with school.

Am so scared and I don't know how this will end. Am weak and full of pain concerning this boy.

I need tips, I have used pictures, audio, video, YouTube, everything. I don't know if this is spiritual, I have prayed. Done all I could do. He can't even spell 3 letter words, it's that baddddddd.

Atimes I ask myself how years passed by that he hasn't still improved but looking back, I haven't rested all the years.

I think you can give him cold liver oil and one egg daily, they help brain a lot. I could remember my friend's daughter that was autistic when she was 5 months, my friend said a doctor recommended cold liver oil and the girl is normal now.