Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.
This is your captain (Boneyface) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the South. If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village! Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits!

For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your set-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat , and for those of youwho can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardesswho will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."

ENJOY Nigeria Airways !

[color=Black][/color]

Don't know what to say.

men this is the wildest 1 so far,

Lol Enjoy~!

cool, used to have this joke back in the days

I remember when nairaland joke section used to be the effing sh#t but we now have this useless moderators that have succeeded in messing things up

u sure have ruined the fun for all of us

Are u commenting on the joke or beefing ex jokes and useless moderators?this joke is so very hilarious and creative.

^^Thank you

come on fellow nigerians , i dont mean to be a kill joy or anything but confess positive about your country this joke does not sound very patriotic and shouldnt be on nairaland cuz 4rm my point of view this shud be a patriots forum! i can not laugh at the down fall of my own land and their dwindling aviation sector, it is clearly stated in the bible (in jeremiah) that the success of your country determines how far you go pls read it up and God bless u as you do i know i wud get insults and boo's and many more but im just telling you what i think

That was a nice speech, goodie-yar. . .One jokes with anything in this life.

Even the Americans that it's believed everything works good for also make jokes about some of their sectors. It's nothing~! That's why it's called a Joke!

The "Joke" is funny. . .pls laff

I LIKE JOKES THAT FLOWS WITH REALITY LIKE DIS,

9JA DON SUFFER

BU-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village! Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

DON FASZY:

In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

Don~!

we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your set-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat ,  and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."

I laugh in buns buns 

Free:

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.
This is your captain (Boneyface) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the South. If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village! Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits!

For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your set-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat , and for those of youwho can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardesswho will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."

ENJOY Nigeria Airways !

Stupid joke

lol

Unpatriotic nigerians

mmtchew
see as them just dey laugh there country

Free:


For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat , and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardesswho will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."

What a wacko joke!! Love this 

joke is funny but is even older than the internet.

^^ I know, but it still makes me laugh though

Hehehe