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Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by Ilekokonit: 11:21pm On Feb 28, 2012
Went through the same thing and when I eventually decided to pull out of Med school after 4 years, I was taken to a Pastor who laid hands on me and when he saw that I did not change my mind promptly asked me if I was on drugs and i answered in the negative.

But I will never make the same mistake of choosing a course for my children.

I am still to recover from those 4 years in Med school although it did build in me the mindset of studying 16 hours a day and also the belief that I can pass any exam as long as it is written in English.

But in todays world it is not the exams you pass or your qualification that makes you get ahead in life, it is who you know and/or your early knowledge and decision to be ruthless in your career / business decisions plus lots and lots of GOOD LUCK.

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Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by gtrust: 11:28pm On Feb 28, 2012
People!

Don't be fooled!

Doctors WILL make $160,000 per annum but that is when they are already 65 years old! LOL
By then, they wouldn't really need it. So, why all the wahala
How long do they have to then enjoy 'the fruit of all years of labouring

If you want money then go and do bussiness. That way you might loose the little capital you already have! LOL

My point, if you do a job for free, yo will enjoy it more!
When it's salaried, then people usually get frustrated and feel undervalued.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by shagaman: 1:27am On Feb 29, 2012
This story is very very interesting,remembered when i was about getting into SS1 and i told my Dad i wanted to be a commercial student,he said commercial class is for dull people that sciences is the way and i discussed with my mum,my mum shook her head and said hope you know ur dad was an Art student and yet he excelled as a well known journalist, make him see reason.

And it was the best advice.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by GboyegaD(m): 4:06am On Feb 29, 2012
Quite unfortunate I have a friend who still insist his 1st son must study accountancy. The boy would be 4 in April and he claims he wouldn't force him but he will start telling him how successful accountants are since himself and his wife are chartered and now he is a Commissioner. He claims once he builds his mind to believe that he was successful because he studied accounting then the child would grow to have no other vision outside being an accountant too.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by pedestal82(m): 5:56am On Feb 29, 2012
A general rule, don't ever force ur child to study what he doesn't like, whatever the course. That said, medicals in Nigeria gives u an inurance that u can never go hungry, and doesn't necessary mean u gonna be wealthy, some ppl in Nigeria working in the oil sector receive pay that a Doctor can only dream of, but in all my lecturer will always tell u, A chain is as strong as its weakest point. Meaning, hw many of the Engineers get this Lucrative jobs, and hw many are roaming the streets.
I will give u real life gist, me and my roomatse both medical students, after reading, and tired of it, we where like with all this suffer hw much are we gonna earn ? When bankers are having a start up pay of ,N200k (b4 the Sanusi thing). But after graduetion, and with the collapse of the Banking sector, we called each other and laffed @ our short sitedness. Like I said a chain, is only as strong as its weakest point.
And no parent shld force his child to study what he doesn't like, because in the medical skool, after failing he would always hv someone to blaming it on, and not himself to draw motivation to do better.my 1 cent

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Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by miky(m): 6:58am On Feb 29, 2012
Naijacareerist:

I remember the day when I decided to tell my mom that I do not want to go to medical school, and that I will switch my major from bilogy to psychology. A lot was going through my mind, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to tell her. I knew there was a possibility that she would give me backlash or tell me that I am disgracing her, but it was a risk I was willing to take. I just could not stand sitting in biology courses and chemistry courses talking about cells and chemical compounds. I dreaded going to chemistry lab.

Then one day I reflected on all this and realized that I had no desire to go to medical school. I couldn’t see myself dealing with patients everyday and going through an 8 year process of getting my medical degree. It’s five pm, time to make the call to my mom.
She picks up asking my how is school, and then I proceeed to tell her. A first she was trying to get me to change my mind,but I refused my mind was made up. At the end of the phone call she says, ” Well my dear if that is what you want to do, I can not stop you”. After that phone call I felt a huge burden lifted off my shoulders, I felt free and in control. 

Six years later I am a human resource professional, loving what I do and could not be anymore happier. Nigerian youth everyday are getting pressure from their parents to pursue certain occupations. It has even become a joke among us that all Nigerians want their child to either  become a doctor, nurse, layer or pharmacist. Anything outside those professions is frowned upon followed up with questions of why do you want to pursue that field. I tell people follow your dream, do not cut your self short because your parents do not understand your career goals. Recently Forbes did an article on the ten happiest jobs and guess what none of those jobs I listed before was on the list. I am not saying there are not people out there who are not happy being a doctor or lawyer, but I am sure there is a plethora of people doing those jobs because it is the “chooses” path. Your passion and happiness will shine through your work, who says you can’t be rich and fulfilled becoming a dancer , graphic designer, or chemist.

You do not always follow the conventional route to achieve something in life. If you are worried about how your parents will react, do not worry eventually they will get over it and support you. I can say that if I followed my parents dream of becoming a doctor I would have been unhappy, and who knows where I would have ended up. Take a risk and follow your dream.

Original Post: http://naijacareerist.com/nigerian-parents-pressure-their-children-to-pursue-chosen-career-paths/] http://naijacareerist.com/nigerian-parents-pressure-their-children-to-pursue-chosen-career-paths/



Interesting story, however there is a big difference in getting all A's, getting halfway and deciding you don't have the passion for the task; in comparison to not doing well in classes and quitting, or let your grades make you feel you can't do it. Don't get me wrong, to "every man his own" but the need for doctors/researchers/drug companies/pharmacist in Africa especially Nigeria has never been more great.  i have a friend who got admitted recently into medical school, and decided its not his cup of tea, not that it was challenging or anything,  "A wise man once said that it's not that our dreams are too high and we can't reach them, but they are too low and we reach them".  as a first year student i can only thank my parents for pushing me, because i easily would have bowed to the pressure and challenges,  but like i said not everyone will do the same thing, and medicine itself is not about financial wealth,
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by lagcity(m): 7:28am On Feb 29, 2012
Only a fool would study medicine for the money. If you don't drop dead from working 80+ hrs a week during residency while your mates are traveling to Dubai and drinking Pina Colada on a pristine Brazilian beach, you'll certainly drop dead from the student loans and malpractice insurance that is killing Doctors in USA. You'll live like a slave during your 20s and grow grey hair on your 30th birthday cheesy grin. By the time you finish residency at 30+, your friends are already swimming deep in their yummy portfolio of real assets . . . if they are smart wink.

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Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by miky(m): 7:47am On Feb 29, 2012
lagcity:

Only a fool would study medicine for the money. If you don't drop dead from working 80+ hrs a week during residency while your mates are traveling to Dubai and drinking Pina Colada on a pristine Brazilian beach, you'll certainly drop dead from the student loans and malpractice insurance that is killing Doctors in USA. You'll live like a slave during your 20s and grow grey hair on your 30th birthday cheesy grin. By the time you finish residency at 30+, your friends are already swimming deep in their yummy portfolio of real assets . . . if they are smart wink.    



Exactly!! however that if is a very big one, as a matter of fact if your in your early twenties and not on your way already or have a clear cut plan for that business venture, its probably too late, because around 27 people tend to get married and get more distracted, its not 80 hrs no more bro lol, na die, i still recommend medicine for those looking towards a noble career, very comfortable lifestyle, with the high possibility of even venturing into business in their late 30's which is most realistic anyway,
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by lagcity(m): 8:19am On Feb 29, 2012
miky:

Exactly!! however that if is a very big one, as a matter of fact if your in your early twenties and not on your way already or have a clear cut plan for that business venture, its probably too late, because around 27 people tend to get married and get more distracted, its not 80 hrs no more bro lol, na die, i still recommend medicine for those looking towards a noble career, very comfortable lifestyle, with the high possibility of even venturing into business in their late 30's which is most realistic anyway,

So after all that training, a doctor'll still have to venture into business in his late 30s in order to be a multimillionaire. Why not venture early instead of going to med school? Why not put all your energy into the one thing you wanna do till you are 80. The most important ingredient to building wealth is TIME. Start early!

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Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by yamakuza: 8:43am On Feb 29, 2012
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by daguru(m): 12:45pm On Feb 29, 2012
Letme share my true life story.

My dad wanted my elder bro to study medicine, after repeated attempts at jamb, he could not score the required cut off for medicine. After the 4th try, he gave up his quest to gain admision for medicine only for my father to rain fire and brimstone on him. In order to retore the peace and sanity in the house, i decided to step up to the plate, dump my dreams of becoming and Engineer for Medicine (THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE).

I got into UI medicine on first attempt. Unfortunately i had to defer my addmision cuz i was involved in an accident on my way to UI for clearance. Subsequently spent the next 6 months on a hospital bed in UCH which gave me the opportunity to closely observe the career path i was about to take.

By the time i was discharged i was completely convinced that the last thing i wanted to be in life was a MEDICAL DOCTOR, That was the begining of my long 'ESCAPE THE MEDICAL DOCTOR TRAP' journey.

On resuming 100level the following year, i went straight to see the Dean of the Facaulty of Technology. I explained my plight to him and asked him to help me cross over to Elect Elect in my second year. He assured me that if i made a first class in my 100Level, he would accept me into any department i chose in the faculty.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by daguru(m): 12:57pm On Feb 29, 2012
The goal of making a 1st class in my 1st year made me very studious. My career, future and opportunity to espace the medical doctor trap depended on this one chance and i was determined not to blow it away.

By God's grace, i was able to finish 1st year with a 6.8 CGPA despite taking extra load of additional MATHS courses medical students dont take. I was so joyed because i thought that i had achieved my goal of leaving medical school in peace. BUT I WAS WRONG

After purchasing the change of course form and filling it, i proudly took it to see the Dean of Faculty of Tech, who kept to his side of the bargain by signing me into the faculty. With his help, i had no problem getting the signature of the HOD Elect Elect.

All that was left was for me to take the documents to Colledge fo Medicine UCH to be signed out from MEDICAL SCHOOL by the Dean of Facauty of Basic Medical Sciences.

On meeting with the Dean and explaining my intentions to sign out of medical school, he couldnt believe my request. He proceeded with Trying to talk me into changing my mid, Blah blah blah. He concluded by asking me to go and think about his advice and report back on a later date
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by daguru(m): 1:12pm On Feb 29, 2012
I returned back later to see him. I told him my mind was competely made up and that i am not intrested in continuing as a medical student. At that point, he broke the BOMBSHELL TO ME. Here is what he said.

THERE ARE ONLY TWO PATHWAYS FOR MEDICAL STUDENTS ADDMITED INTO UCH, THEY CAN EITHER PASS OUT AS MEDICAL DOCTORS, OR FAIL OUT OF THE PROGRAM. Hence i should forgetabout crossing over to a different facaulty.

I immidiately went on my knees and started begging the Dean but he asked me to leave his office. I complied.

But for the next 2 weeks, i spent the whole day at his reception. I was determined to stay on his neck until he granted my request.

By the third week, he called me into his office and asked if my guardians were aware of my decision to leave medical school. He explained that every year, parents come to him begging / lobbying to have thier children addmited into medical school.

He assured me that if my parents approve of my desire to leave med school, then he would sign me out. Then he gave me a stern warnig not to come to his office again except i am coming along with my father.

, to be continued.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by Nobody: 1:33pm On Feb 29, 2012
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Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by tanimola22: 1:46pm On Feb 29, 2012
stern warning hahahah. Please continue naw
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by gtrust: 2:44pm On Feb 29, 2012
Very interesting!
For the 1st time the man saw somebody who didn't want what he so much valued!
You were definately demystifying the god of UI Dept of Medicine, how dare you
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by Natasha2(f): 3:37pm On Feb 29, 2012
Daguru where are you? can't wait to here the rest
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by Wallie(m): 4:16pm On Feb 29, 2012
No parent should ever force his/her child into a career path that the child doesn’t want but there’s absolutely nothing wrong for a parent to guide the child while making sure that the child lives up to his/her potential.

There’s nothing worse than seeing people piss away their potential! There are so many brilliant people in this world that would never be successful either through their own doing or circumstances beyond their control. Have you ever ran into a very brilliant old friend from high school and wondered what happened to him/her?

Some kids need help determining what they want to do with their lives. If a parent thinks that his child has what it takes to study medicine, then there’s nothing wrong in encouraging the child to do so unless the child has no desire to study medicine. Not everybody is cut out to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.

But whatever you decide to do with your life, be the best there is!
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by tpia5: 5:19pm On Feb 29, 2012
daguru where's the rest of your story?


people sometimes switch from medicine for many reasons including inability to smell or see large amounts of blood [it gives them a visceral reaction and some pass out].
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by tpia5: 5:20pm On Feb 29, 2012
i mean they cant tolerate the sight of blood.

it seems to be an actual medical condition and is called hemophobia.


http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/swoon-at-the-sight-of-blood
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by daguru(m): 5:59pm On Feb 29, 2012
Apologies for the break. I was held up in a meeting that lasted longer than it should.

BACK TO MY STORY.

For days i contemplated on how best to present my request/intention to my dad about leaving medical school. Selling him into the idea was next to impossible for the following reasons.

1) He deeply wanted one of his sons to become a medical doctor
2) I personally witnessed the hell he put my elder brother through just because he was unable to meet the cut of mark for medicine. This was my initial motivation to salvage the situation by offering to become DADDYS DOCTOR.
3) My village has never produced a medical doctor, be it male or female. Graduating from medical school would make me and corrolativel, my family the first the produce a medical doctor in the village
4) After my near fatal accident on my way to UI for addmision clearance leading to my 6months hospitalization, my dad, entire family members and every relative believed it to be handiwork of some wicked village people who didnt want the first doctor in the village to come out of my family. After my discharge from UCH and subsequent return to lagos, a big thanksgiving was done in church to celebrate my survival. My point here is that going back to my dad to sell him on my decision to quit med school would be (actually was) seen as the handiwork of the wicked toying with my brain and as they later put it, my destiny.
5) Dad is a proud person by nature. He had already taken up the title of Papa Doctor, always asking me to go out with him so he can show off to everyone that cares to listen his "BRILLIANT MEDICAL DOCTOR TO BE SON'
6) MANY MANY OTHER REASONS I CANNOT STATE ON THIS PLATFORM.

Now u all know what delima i was in and how difficult and complicated the situation was
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by daguru(m): 6:44pm On Feb 29, 2012
THE WORSE PART OF IT ALL WAS THIS,

No one i spoke to about my intention to leave medical school understood my reasons let allone support me. when i say no one, I mean NOBODY.

a. My girl friend at the time was dating me cuz i was a medical student which to her was a rare catch that differentiates her from her peers as a girl of taste and class, an illusionary edge over her peers dating guys from 'lesser' faculties i.e Faculty of Education and Facaulty of Arts

b. My best friend, also a medical student, had always wanted to become a medical doctor since he was a little kid. Him with his dreams of becomeing the next Ben Carson couldnt even fanthom why i would ever consider another profession other than to be a medical doctor.

c. My more liberal Uncle understood a bit but continually insisted that i was still too young (19years of age) to understand what i really wanted to do with my life career wise. He advised i continue with the program, his reason beign that afterall mbbs its just a degree like any other and i could choose not to practise thereafter. He never stoped refering me to his many doctor friends who either practised for a while, then moved onto doing other things or never practised at all. In short, he was unwilling to incure the wrath and displeasure of my father for openly supporting my desire to quit medical school

d. My Mom, well i wished she was alive, maybe she would have backed me up. She died when i was in Primary 3.

e. Church Members / Family friends: Didnt feel confortable enough to talk to them about.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by Natasha2(f): 7:01pm On Feb 29, 2012
^awww I can imagine how difficult it was for you
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by miky(m): 7:15pm On Feb 29, 2012
@daguru it seems you never really wanted to become a MD/DO you did it just for your father? well your reason is understandable.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by miky(m): 7:23pm On Feb 29, 2012
gtrust:

People!

Don't be fooled!

Doctors WILL make $160,000 per annum but that is when they are already 65 years old! LOL
By then, they wouldn't really need it. So, why all the wahala
How long do they have to then enjoy 'the fruit of all years of labouring

If you want money then go and do bussiness. That way you might loose the little capital you already have! LOL





My point, if you do a job for free, yo will enjoy it more!
When it's salaried, then people usually get frustrated and feel undervalued.

any need to say things your not sure about a friend of mine who is 27 makes nothing less than 220,000 a year here in missouri, and owns apartments and other properties, of course medicine is not a means to get rich, but it can easily make you one,

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2010/pf/jobs/1010/gallery.best_jobs_highest_paid.moneymag/index.html
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by daguru(m): 7:45pm On Feb 29, 2012
By the Fifth day, i decided to go see my dad and do my best to conviince him to go with me to see the Dean so i can be signed out of med school. As you would expect this move was already doomed to fail. The mannaer of the faliure was indeed dramatic and heart wrenching for me.

After appoaching my dad with my request / intentions, all he told me was I HAVE HEARD YOU, LET ME THINK ABOUT IT AND GET BACK TO YOU. I was perplexed because i didnt really know what to expect.

The next day he asked me to return to school and go fix an appointment with Dean for the following week Tuesday.

True to his words, he drove down to UI, picked me up and i took him to see the Dean at UCH.

He started the meeting by profousely thanking the Dean for his decision to seek the input of my guardians before granting my request to leave med school.

Next he asked me for the change of course form, took it from me, and in the presence of the Dean he TORE IT ALL TO PEICES. I found myself crying like a baby and deep down inside felt hatred for not just my father, but including the Dean and the emtire concept of the medical profession.

THAT DAY MARKED THE BEGINGING OF A NEW RADICAL PHASE OF MY LIFE. THAT NIGHT I VOWED TO DO EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE I NEVER GRADUATE AS A DOCTOR.



Dear Folks, I would continue my story tomorow with how i was able to leave medical school by the fourth year, change mmy career path and ultimately to earn more than a resident doctor while my mates where still in thier 5th year doing OBY / GYN and Pedeatrics.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by Natasha2(f): 7:53pm On Feb 29, 2012
^OMG you left when you were almost through shocked that means you really hated it. And boy your dad was really harsh oh. Anyway I can't wait for the completion. cheesy
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by Wallie(m): 8:30pm On Feb 29, 2012
@daguru either watches too much TV or he's a script writer for the sitcoms and soap operas! Why leave off the story when you're getting to the good part? He wants you all to tune in tomorrow at the same time! smiley
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by pedestal82(m): 9:00pm On Feb 29, 2012
@wallie, whatever, am hooked, and will be tuning in same time.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by tanimola22: 9:20pm On Feb 29, 2012
daguru:

By the Fifth day, i decided to go see my dad and do my best to conviince him to go with me to see the Dean so i can be signed out of med school. As you would expect this move was already doomed to fail. The mannaer of the faliure was indeed dramatic and heart wrenching for me.

After appoaching my dad with my request / intentions, all he told me was I HAVE HEARD YOU, LET ME THINK ABOUT IT AND GET BACK TO YOU. I was perplexed because i didnt really know what to expect.

The next day he asked me to return to school and go fix an appointment with Dean for the following week Tuesday.

True to his words, he drove down to UI, picked me up and i took him to see the Dean at UCH.

He started the meeting by profousely thanking the Dean for his decision to seek the input of my guardians before granting my request to leave med school.

Next he asked me for the change of course form, took it from me, and in the presence of the Dean he[b] TORE IT ALL TO PEICES[/b]. I found myself crying like a baby and deep down inside felt hatred for not just my father, but including the Dean and the emtire concept of the medical profession.

THAT DAY MARKED THE BEGINGING OF A NEW RADICAL PHASE OF MY LIFE. THAT NIGHT I VOWED TO DO EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE I NEVER GRADUATE AS A DOCTOR.



Dear Folks, I would continue my story tomorow with how i was able to leave medical school by the fourth year, change mmy career path and ultimately to earn more than a resident doctor while my mates where still in thier 5th year doing OBY / GYN and Pedeatrics.






Mhen, no be joke O. Your dad meant business. kai. I will definitely read the remaining part of your story tomorrow.
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by yamakuza: 11:04pm On Feb 29, 2012
^ Dad, you mean/t?

Some people are missing world class entertainment due to the nerdy title of this thread!
Re: I Don't Want To Be A Doctor The Words Nigerian Parent Does Not Want To Hear by tanimola22: 11:29pm On Feb 29, 2012
^^^Thanks. I meant dad when I typed it, but I unfortunately typed anyhow.

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