I really don't want to care anymore, my wife has really know that i will get things done, she doesn't care to do her responsibilities as wife since am not around her in Naija.

I just want to turn blind eye to her for now, but its being difficult for me,  I love my wife and kid but this is my fault, The little i expect from her is a hell no, she always play the victim in any argument we had, she know i will always work things out, am doing all this cos of my kid. Seriously am getting tired and fraustrated.

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Could you please be more specific, what exactly did your wife do/not do?

Aparche:

Could you please be more specific, what exactly did your wife do/not do?

I believe i have being up to the task as a husband to my wife and father to my kid, she has this attitude or my perception of being selfish, its all about her, she can't endure some hardship for the greater benefit of all of us, she hardly support any idea or plan i bring fort. The last time i came to Naija, God i don't like my boi attitude, the boi is 2 n half years but my wife has spoil the boi, i will give her 20% for training the boi, though the boi look well kept, but interms of manner, hell no, I had a quarell with her when i spank the boi and told him to face the wall n raise his hand, my wife went inside and release him, that when i got sparked that never again she should interfere when am deciplining the boi, she got make and all that, plaing victim that i don't appreciate how she is raising the boi telling me that if am not satisfy i should come n take charge.

She take me for granted cos i feel to concern about her well-being and the kid.

She is only concern about her feelings n not mine, she doesn't want to endure anything cos, am not around, she just want me around, the world can break, I working on how to bring her in, but my wife want me back in Naija, everything ends in come back home if u are not satisfy.

Why do you want to become irresponsible because of your wife's nonchalant attitude? Two wrongs don't make a right u know.  (it's only in mathematics that (-)*(-)=+    )).

You said she does not perform her responsibilities as a wife, what responsibilities are u talking about? When husbands complain abt wifely responsibility, one thing easily comes to mind. But then, you are not around her in naija, so what do u mean?

At least, one of u must get things done, if she is not forthcoming, talk to her and let her see reasons with you. For the family to retain its sanity, at least one of you must remain responsible, otherwise it will be house of commotion.

ok, just saw your explanation now.

Where are you located?

if you are in lagos, I can introduce you to some weed sellers

2 puffs and you go become more irresponsible than area boy self

Thank me later

mission08:

Why do you want to become irresponsible because of your wife's nonchalant attitude? Two wrongs don't make a right u know.  (it's only in mathematics that (-)*(-)=+    )).

You said she does not perform her responsibilities as a wife, what responsibilities are u talking about? When husbands complain abt wifely responsibility, one thing easily comes to mind. But then, you are not around her in naija, so what do u mean?

At least, one of u must get things done, if she is not forthcoming, talk to her and let her see reasons with you. For the family to retain its sanity, at least one of you must remain responsible, otherwise it will be house of commotion.

All i want is her taking care of my kid; i mean instill some good manner in him, not spoiling him, she hardly agree on anything i say, she always see it as me complaining as if she is not doing anything.

I know she loves me, but you have responsibilities as my wife, to me, my boi n the home in general. Interm of idea or plan support, she is never there, she is seriously selfish about her happiness and number one on her list is me,

She want her husband and that all, am thinking about our future and everything as a whole, she is crying over her present state of being without me, Do this, she will not, do that she will not, Any advice from my wife for me, she will say i don't have anything to add, i feel like am punishing myself cos, i know what am going thru her in the states for her n the kid to leave comfortably, all i want for her at least, she can't do it, all because she not happy that am not around, she takes everything for granted and seems she doesn't care, in the end she plays the victim,

Imagine my wife refuse to talk to me when leaving Naija this January for the U.S, a good bye, i got none from the woman i love, This got me crying inside.

dayokanu:

Where are you located?

if you are in lagos, I can introduce you to some weed sellers

2 puffs and you go become more irresponsible than area boy self

Thank me later

This is not what i expect from u, at least this got me laughing today anyway can i get some in Columbus Ohio, any of ur bois there?

^^ There must be a Ghetto in Columbus

Check the east side of Columbus Ohio. There must be some Akata hood there

with $20 you would get correct weed

@poster : don't try to be irresponsible pls, that would only make your problems worse. When I opened the thread I was worried at what I would read this time (been used to really scary stories here), but your situation doesn't look like a desperate one at all. You are upset because you are doing all your best for her and feel she is not supporting your choices, and she is upset with you because she loves you so much she wants you around and doesn't worry about anything else. Thank God that with the distance and the hardship you are both going through, all alone in different countries, you still love each other and care for each other and your child. I can't emphasize enough on that, it is a real blessing and many "long distance couples" have much worse problems to worry about.

That being said, I see two things in your situation :
1/ About the plans you have for your family : did you discuss them with your wife? Was she supporting you at the beginning ? If yes, what changed ? If no, why did you go ahead and do it ? How long do you think the long distance will last ?
2/ About the misunderstandings between the both of you : do not forget that you are having them because you LOVE and CARE for each other, even her complains, her attitude are out of love. This is so precious in nowadays world and marriages, pls, do not waste that over simple issues. You guys can work through anything with this love, pls, do not forget it.

Oh, and about disciplining the child, you'd be surprised at how many couples face this same kind of situation. I live with my husband, he's been here with our kid from day one and has always played an important role in her life, but still, we sometimes have different views on how to train the kid. It is only natural, we both agreed to not intervene in front of the child, but we sometimes argue about our choices when she's not there,

So poster because your wife wants more of you, she is now selfish ?

What exactly is this poster going on about?

No be you wan 'punish' your wife sometime ago.

@Op, Right now, you are the one playing the victim and you sound soo much like a woman (a petty one).

Now to the title of the post, when you become irresponsible, who's loss? your wife? Your kid? Your family? Your life?

Notice they all have the word 'your'- meaning your irresponsiblity is your loss.

You don't sound like a patient man. Learn to take things easy abeg. So many decisions still have to be taken for this small noy, you don't want to keep on arguing and fighting over his discipline. She's your wife, he's your (both of u) son, you don't stay with them. why don't you trust and appreciate your wife's efforts in keepin the home instead og nagging the hell outta the woman. Urrrggggh!