Ammy5565:
Thanks favouredmum for ur input. God bless u ma. I just dont want to make a mistake, u even need to see me after the walks, all my bones nd waist will jez finish.

Mamas can know how to ignore some1 here ehn!
Pls u ppl shud help a FTM oh. Biko nu.

Moderation is key in whatever you do especially during pregnancy. In my opinion one hour in a stretch is too much and yes could bring on labor, just reduce the frequency and length of each walk.

At bolded get yourself familia with the mamas that are frequent here and cc them when next you need your question answered asap no one will intentionally ignore.

Ammy5565:


Mamas can know how to ignore some1 here ehn!
Pls u ppl shud help a FTM oh. Biko nu.

Lol. the ignoring is not intentional. sometimes I prefer to finish reading all answers already given so that if someone has already said what I want to say, I won't bother repeating it. but by d time I'm tru I would hv forgotten to answer even if others haven't. . that's what happened here.

28 weeks is too early naaa. why not wait till you're full term (37 weeks), in case contractions start and baby comes o.

I can only talk about the first issue. Other sabi mamas will put mouth in the other one or add to what I have said

Pls ma, mamas here don't ignore.

Truth is, some mamas may not have answers and some may want to avoid giving responses that they are not absolutely certain of, so they just leave it to those who can respond. For example, a FTM certainly can't give answers to some questions because she has not experienced it yet.
Also, the mama's that may have answers may be offline and busy with their little ones and families.
So be patient.
When the sabi mamas are online, they will certainly respond.

It also helps if you cc our mamas that have put to bed before

Ammy5565:
Thanks favouredmum for ur input. God bless u ma. I just dont want to make a mistake, u even need to see me after the walks, all my bones nd waist will jez finish.

Mamas can know how to ignore some1 here ehn!
Pls u ppl shud help a FTM oh. Biko nu.

You and ma'am sugah have said it all!!!

AlphaHandMaiden:


Cc. Mnit

I agree with sugah.
Firstly, if you contributed to purchase of the land, you name needs to be included on the deeds.

Secondly, him putting your name on the documents should not be an issue because his brother is the surveyor! So what if the family knows you both bought land. You are his wife and the mother of his children! Who else will he buy land for? With that kind of attitude, just pray for long life for him cos there are likely to be inheritance issues.

Thirdly, agreed a will should be written to ensure no hanky panky, but writtng a will is not the issue, he slso needs to put good executors in place as well. If he puts idiots or someone who doesnt have your interest at heart, na there una go dey.

Fourtly, churches need a liscence to marry people and for that marriage to be recognised by law! that is why , in church you signed a document called the wedding register and you should have submitted a copy to your local government office. This is essentially the same document you would sign in a court wedding.

It is a legally binding document.

So if na only espiritus string tying of hand or sand pouring ceremony una do... then the marriage can be contested.

Lastly: The issue is not taking care of you when all is rosy, its when shi.t happens that story will change.
It doesnt even have to be death, even a long or unexpecred serious / critical illness.
There are cases where the guy is unconcious in hospital and the wife has no access to his accounts to get money for his treatment. Meanehile here are millions sitting there!

Unfortunately nigerians are generally bad at talking about death and mis-fortune.... na so so "God forbid "and "its not my portion" we go dey talk"?

Life happens and with life sometime comes illness, accidents and always death. No one wishes for such but it doesnt harm anyone to be prepared.

I also bought this type of cot. Mainly ncos I can collapse and travel with it as I and dh intend to travel a lot after lo is born.

If you think you need another mattress, then I think you can get it in one of these vitafoam or mouka foam shops

lexajen:
I intend to buy baby diapers.

Is Napkin still in vogue, the white type I mean...
Or should I buy disposable kind?

Which one is affordable and what size can I get for a new born that will not make me regret? I'm scared of pampers

Also, which soap and oil and powder is best recommended.
I was also told to buy antiseptic baby cream, which one will I buy.

What does a flannel gown look like?

Which hot water flask brand is best?

Please no read and ignore me o o o
Epp me with answers please.

Onegai florena iomoge2 rofemiguwa Zaynie.
Everyone please

*modified*

Ehen, Mamas, this is type of cot I bought..
You may notice it has two layers.
I was thinking of buying something foamy to augment the sleeping surface, but I don't know the name I will call to market people, please advise me.

Pls mamas how can I deal with mood swings?
I had lots of them in my first trimester and it has creeped back in now that I've entered 3rd trimester. I find it so hard to deal with. And I hate to throw all these emotions at dh.
Any suggestion would help

Cc all sabi mamas

Ammy5565:


Yaaayyy!!!!
Finally found a ph mama. Thought everybody here na lagosian. Pls which hospital did u use? M using miltary hospital. Any reviews about them?
Just apprehensive!

Hahahaha. I used Obio Cottage Hospital. I don't know anyone that has used military hospital so I don't hv an idea. What part of ph r u @.

Mnit, you're not being paranoid. You're only thinking ahead, which is what every wise woman would do. It's not about him providing for you now, but about u and d children being taken care of in the eventuality of his not being around. and with the in laws already stopping the court wedding, I wouldn't count too much on them.
I think u need to employ a lot of diplomacy in this issue. My own approach (just an advice) would be to sit him down and have a heart to heart with him. Tell him all my fears, exactly as they are. And plead with him to include my name or the children's names on the property documents.
Use every kind of diplomacy u can possibly think of. U're more powerful than u think o. Just don't use force or anger, else he'll become more resistant.

If all this fails, look for an elderly neutral person (not ur parents or his) he respects and seek advice. If after following their advice he refuses, let them talk to him themselves.

Of course while u're doing all these, you're praying.

AlphaHandmaiden....<br>
Thank you so much for contributing <br>
My money is not involved in any of the properties and that is not even an issue.<br>
2ndly....the church that wedded us is a registered church so i dont know if that count.<br>
My major concern is not even about now but abt d future.<br>
<br>
@sugah.....b4 we married,his brother has been his next of kin and he has&apos;nt change.<br>
<br>
Jazzyjazzy..... i did change of name on news paper n had an affidavit to support it .i dont know if it is same as you explain.

BellaElla:


Hahahaha. I used Obio Cottage Hospital. I don't know anyone that has used military hospital so I don't hv an idea. What part of ph r u @.

I stay at elekahia my dear. U know i almost used obio, even went there for enquiries. I was discouraged by the crowd, heard their crowd is nt here at all. I know a lady that had to wait outside during labour as there was no space for her to deliver but i heard they are very good and their facilities are top notch. Hope u had a nice experience with them?
I'm beginning to regret nt using them oh, cuz everyone i know seems to prefer them.

Is it a

Coldfeet:
Moderation is key in whatever you do especially during pregnancy. In my opinion one hour in a stretch is too much and yes could bring on labor, just reduce the frequency and length of each walk.
At bolded get yourself familia with the mamas that are frequent here and cc them when next you need your question answered asap no one will intentionally ignore.

realdentist:

Lol. the ignoring is not intentional. sometimes I prefer to finish reading all answers already given so that if someone has already said what I want to say, I won't bother repeating it. but by d time I'm tru I would hv forgotten to answer even if others haven't. . that's what happened here.
28 weeks is too early naaa. why not wait till you're full term (37 weeks), in case contractions start and baby comes o.

jazzyjazz:
Pls ma, mamas here don't ignore.
Truth is, some mamas may not have answers and some may want to avoid giving responses that they are not absolutely certain of, so they just leave it to those who can respond. For example, a FTM certainly can't give answers to some questions because she has not experienced it yet.
Also, the mama's that may have answers may be offline and busy with their little ones and families.
So be patient.
When the sabi mamas are online, they will certainly respond.
It also helps if you cc our mamas that have put to bed before

Thanks mamas for taking time to respond. Felt ignored cuz i asked 2days ago but only got 1 reply, no hard feelings tho. Just needed the clarification asap so as nt to make mistakes. Maybe i'll hav to reduce the walks to 30mins and maybe 3times in a week. I hope it wont be much tho.
Appreciate u all.

Jazzy baby, whats for breakfast?

Mnit:
Good morning mothers....

I am one of u but had to use this monika for this issue.Pls i need advise

I married some 3yrs back but i hv this issue am still unable to solve with hubby.


Pls mamas i dont know if am being paranoid abt a non issue but am really takin dis serious and its affecting us.

First of all, my question is are you working or supporting your husband in anyway? The landed property acquired did you input some part of your money in anyway? If yes, then you are not being paranoid,you have right as much as he does to the name written on the document. If no, then please let him rest; he may decide on whoever names BC he desires to put on the document.
Also about court marriage issue, I think they have used corner for you. Just cry to God silently to change his mind and he will dance to your tone on that because I believe there is nothing God cannot do.

In all we need JEHOVAH in our home. And may the lord help us

BellaElla:
Gandyluv sorry dear
I think you should find out what made ur stitches open for d 3rd time.
I hope u are not sitting on hot water.
I was stitched too and was being forced to sit on on top of kitchen stool with my legs closed. I did that for 2 days and realized it worsend the episiotomy pains, I was bleeding from d site so I stopped. I try as much as possible to avoid sitting on hard surfaces since then.
Please check ur routine and if there's anything U should stop.
Congrats on the arrival of ur baby

tankx dear..I was also force to seat on stool

My sister I'm not even in the mood today. First trimester mood swings has been dealing with me since I woke up so tey I de vex for food sef

Na garri with groundnut I manage take sha
But I go soon hammer semo and afang soup

Ammy5565:




Thanks mamas for taking time to respond. Felt ignored cuz i asked 2days ago but only got 1 reply, no hard feelings tho. Just needed the clarification asap so as nt to make mistakes. Maybe i'll hav to reduce the walks to 30mins and maybe 3times in a week. I hope it wont be much tho.
Appreciate u all.

Jazzy baby, whats for breakfast?

Mint dear, please av a talk with ur husband. Let him at least include his kids name on his properties.
Keep praying, God will change his mind on d next of kin issue. It's a big issue if u aren't his next of kin.

realdentist:
Mnit, you're not being paranoid. You're only thinking ahead, which is what every wise woman would do. It's not about him providing for you now, but about u and d children being taken care of in the eventuality of his not being around. and with the in laws already stopping the court wedding, I diplomacy in this issue. My own approach

my dear...i hv sat him down n talk to him yet no improvement.all he keep saying is that am i wishing anything bad happen to him.
he doesn't like d idea of someone reporting him also.

to think that we went to uk for vacation this August n he was like we shldnt let his family knows.his reasons was he dont hv money for der demands.

proudmom38:
Hello everyone,Longest time ooo... I missed u all gan ni o... I will be travelling to Canada on Oct 20th,I'm going to work there and live a better life. This is my contact: +140733728926... Sorry for late notice. I will be on fb,watsap,instg...Love u all! Na the dream wey I dream dis afternoon be dat ooo....

congratulations

jazzyjazz:
My sister I'm not even in the mood today. First trimester mood swings has been dealing with me since I woke up so tey I de vex for food sef
Na garri with groundnut I manage take sha
But I go soon hammer semo and afang soup

Awwww, sowee dear. I have absolutely no idea how u can feel bera but maybe u can take urself out to some place u love. That should help brighten ur mood.
Dont dull with the semo and afang soup oh, so u no go eat pesin
Pele

Akorkor:

First of all, my question is are you working or supporting your husband in anyway? The landed property acquired did you input some part of your money in anyway? If yes, then you are not being paranoid,you have right as much as he does to the name written on the document. If no, then please let him rest; he may decide on whoever names BC he desires to put on the document.
Also about court marriage issue, I think they have used corner for you. Just cry to God silently to change his mind and he will dance to your tone on that because I believe there is nothing God cannot do.

In all we need JEHOVAH in our home. And may the lord help us

I don't think this is a right attitude towards marriage. Its a marriage not a biz partnership. Two shall become one...that should include family, finances, properties etc.

See some responses in red below.

lexajen:
I intend to buy baby diapers.

Is Napkin still in vogue, the white type I mean...
Or should I buy disposable kind?

Yes it is and it has moved on from the ones thet were used on us. Cloth nappies have an initial cost that is higher than disposables but it works out cheaper on the long run. There is a cloth nappy company coming into the market soon. When they launch i will let you know.


Which one is affordable and what size can I get for a new born that will not make me regret? I'm scared of pampers

Also, which soap and oil and powder is best recommended.
I was also told to buy antiseptic baby cream, which one will I buy.

You dont need antiseptic soap. I believe you have some tips on good baby wash/soaps you can use. For oil you can use good quality cold pressed coconut oil.( the clear colourless type)

What does a flannel gown look like?
Flannel is just a US term for brushed cotton. Brushing is just a technique used in the manufacture to give the fabric added softness. Therefore flannel/brushed cotton is very very soft to the touch.
Just look for 100%cotton and feel the softness.



Which hot water flask brand is best?
Sorry i dont know


*modified*

Ehen, Mamas, this is type of cot I bought..
You may notice it has two layers.
I was thinking of buying something foamy to augment the sleeping surface, but I don't know the name I will call to market people, please advise me.

You dont need anything else. Babies need a firm matteress to sleep on. If it is too soft, and they are in thier tummies there is a risk that the mattress can cover their nose and mouth. This is especially the case for very young babies that cant controll their heads and necks.
You can fold a blanket in 2 and use it under the cloth you use as bedsheets. You dont need anything else.

Pls lexajen, i really love that cot. Does it have a name? And pls how much did u get it??

@ akorkor.....yes am working.although I started working January this year so all this while I hv been a stay at home mom.havin his kids n takin care of the home.so my dear we both hv everything even if my money is nt der cos I made all the sacrifices.beside I earn 80k monthly while hubby earn btw 800k-1m monthly.i even hv to struggle to spend my money on d house cos he ensure he provides everything.

@ zheemub.....i hv oooo all he keep saying is that he will and I shld gv him time

Mnit:

my dear...i hv sat him down n talk to him yet no improvement.all he keep saying is that am i wishing anything bad happen to him.
he doesn't like d idea of someone reporting him also.

to think that we went to uk for vacation this August n he was like we shldnt let his family knows.his reasons was he dont hv money for der demands.

My dea if u have not been saving money for ur self, pls start doing so frm whatever hubby gives u, obviously ur inlaws are controlling and hubby is trying to be diplomatic so he won't hurt u. Why on earth will they dictate wat u guys shud do or shudnt do in ur home?
Dnt let this bring choas into ur home, pray fervently that hubby shud listen to u, and ur inlaws shud hands off ur marriage.
Pls that NOK issue is serious o, let him change it ASAP o, not because u wish his dead or anything, hubby shud knw the kind of family he has, n therefore do everything to protect u, u are his family now o, his parent n siblings r expended now. He needs to understand that. Apply wisdom dea, stay calm, all will be well.

Lexajen you don't need another mattress... That first layer is the mattress.
Don't know if its the same size as mine, but I use a pillowcase (100% cotton) as a bedsheet for it....I.e I put the mattress inside the pillowcase like a pillow so there are no loose clothings to prevent suffocation.

sugah:

I don't think this is a right attitude towards marriage. Its a marriage not a biz partnership. Two shall become one...that should include family, finances, properties etc.

Well that's my opinion. May not be good for everyone

@Mnit, I understand what you are going through. But let me be sincere with you some men cannot just be forced to do somethings especially if you don't have any input in it and some men are easy like that. My 2 cent is start trying to save for your children because on a normal day you don't need to coarse him to put your name on the document is what is need but if he doesn't then pray he change is mind.
Also, NOK is important.

Mnit:
@ akorkor.....yes am working.although I started working January this year so all this while I hv been a stay at home mom.havin his kids n takin care of the home.so my dear we both hv everything even if my money is nt der cos I made all the sacrifices.beside I earn 80k monthly while hubby earn btw 800k-1m monthly.i even hv to struggle to spend my money on d house cos he ensure he provides everything.
@ zheemub.....i hv oooo all he keep saying is that he will and I shld gv him time

Try and get ur marriage registered, it's very important. I have been married for 5yrs now and it has not been so easy with extended family from both sides, u guys might not get the full potential of ur marriage if extended family is involved in decision making in ur home. Talk to ur husband as a wise woman, you got all the powers.

Mamas abeg is it true that after an episiotomy during kpekus air will be coming out of the jajaina?
Abeg wat is the best way to prevent this biko, Cox I overhead some people discussing this, tho I didn't hear their solution. I don't want to experience this biko. Any solution?

Mnit:

@sugah.....b4 we married,his brother has been his next of kin and he has not changed it.

Jazzyjazzy..... i did change of name on news paper n had an affidavit to support it .i dont know if it is same as you explain.

Are you for real?!
Pls pray hard o and try hard too to make sure (now or later) that your name or children's names enter those property documents!
Or that he makes you or one of your children his next of kin which should be the case now that you are married.

My God, can't you see what's happening here? The family wants to 'secure' their future with regard to their son's/brother's estate/benefits. Your hubby should consider you guys too. Sometimes, the family you think would take care of your wife and kids if God forbid something happens, can turn around and cheat them.

They stopped ur court wedding? Ok, check if the certificate(s) the church gave you includes one from a registry. That is the same as one you would have gotten from a court wedding like someone up there said.
My church gave us two certs -one from the registry and another from the church.

My sister, you don't need to use force o but keep at it till your own future and that of your kids are secure. Best wishes. You guys would live long together in peace.

Note- I doubt change of name in newspaper is sufficient to cover you or prove you were a legal wife and 'benefitee' to any money/estate.