Is There Love In A Polygamous Marriage? - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Is There Love In A Polygamous Marriage? (1928 Views)
Is There "Love Potion? " / Is There Love Without Lies? / Is There Love Without Cash? (2) (3) (4)
| Is There Love In A Polygamous Marriage? by kambili190: 11:00am On Mar 24, 2012 |
just wondering because I am not familiar with this concept. I mean if you love your husnband and even if you are not jealous kind, it must be hard to know you have to sleep alone because your husband is sleeping with another woman. I don't get this concept. no man could accept his wife sleeping with other men under one and the same roof, so how can a woman accept this? does this mean this marriage is not about love but for some purpose? like for example the woman wants to be taken care in financial terms and the men wants to enjoy several women and have lots of kids? i heard of a family where a man wanted to marry a woman but she refused but because the family needed money the younger sister agreed to marry this man. they married. what is this? he can't marry one sister so simply takes the other? they were total strangers, married and got many children. how can polygamy be about love? |
| Re: Is There Love In A Polygamous Marriage? by InkedNerd(f): 11:22am On Mar 24, 2012 |
kambili190: just wondering because I am not familiar with this concept. Like any relationship, it for those who are mature enough to handle it. Although its understandable as to why an individual may feel jealous, that's not to say that such a relationship cannot work or lacks love. Feelings of jealousy can arise within monogamous relationships as well. The story you describe of the man who wanted to marry the woman but married her sister isn't one of a polygamous nature. While strange, it isn't polygamous. As for you saying that no man can accept the idea of his wife sleeping with another man, that is not true. I take it that you've never heard of a polyandrous relationship? Human beings as whole are not genetically inclined to be with just one person. The idea to be with one person is one that is of a social nature. Naturally speaking we're designed to always look elsewhere and scope what is around [I'm not excusing acts of cheating and deceit] but we're more than able to attain relationships that are based solely on monogamy just as there are those who can maintain relationships on polygamy and polyandry. Because you can't fathom the idea of your partner being with someone else doesn't mean that it is not an idea or living situation that doesn't work for others. There are indeed people who are perfectly fine with such a set up and live happily. The fact that there are more than two people involved in the mix doesn't mean that love isn't a factor within the relationship. And while it may seem hard to understand the concept you need to take into consideration that by you asking such questions whether for enlightening purposes or not, it shows that you have a set standard on what you believe or think that love is and with that being said you should try to understand that not everyone lives by that standard. |
| Re: Is There Love In A Polygamous Marriage? by kambili190: 11:32am On Mar 24, 2012 |
Inked_Nerd: well, I forgot to mentio that this man who married the sister already had a wife at home and so the sister became his second wife. it's obvious he didn't marry her out of love. I have heard of polyandry in India. I have seen a documentary. However, most people were not happy with this concept. a woman who marries a man in the Himalaya has to marry all his brothers as well. It's a must and they do it because they have to. Some take it and others take it and fell unhappy about it. Concerning your statement that human beings aregenetically not inclined to be with just one person, I don't agree. Some people aren't, some others are. As in the animal kingdom, some animals are monogamous by nature and some others aren't. I don't feel like I want to have any other man when I love someone. I am not against polygamy, everyone should live the way he / she chooses to. I just don't understand. So I opened this threat  |
| Re: Is There Love In A Polygamous Marriage? by InkedNerd(f): 11:41am On Mar 24, 2012 |
kambili190: You not having a desire doesn't change the fact that it is the nature of the human species. Yes, human beings are creature of a "superior being" nature but we can choose to not live such a life but other animals of the animal kingdom cannot which is one of the primary things that sets us apart from other creatures. As for the individuals you mentioned, if it works for them then that's their business. Only they can determine whether or not they love one another. Different strokes for different folks. |
| Re: Is There Love In A Polygamous Marriage? by kambili190: 11:52am On Mar 24, 2012 |
Inked_Nerd: Who says it is in the human nature? It's not only me who can do away with one partner. I didn't say I represent the mankind. I just said that it is in some people's desire to have more than one partner but at the same time it is enough for others to have one. So how do YOU know it is in the nature of the human species? Obviously it is not valid for every human being. So there is nothing like A (= 1) human nature. So all in all, you're right different strokes for different folks because people are different. However, interesting enough to observe that most societies that allow polygamy allow men to have multiple wives but do not allow women to have multiple husbands. What is even more interesting are some studies conducted in some North African countries where men have multiple wives. Men with three wives cheat more often than men with one OR TWO wives. Why marry at all? |
| Re: Is There Love In A Polygamous Marriage? by InkedNerd(f): 12:27pm On Mar 24, 2012 |
kambili190: When did I tell you that it was valid for every human being? Never at any point in time did those words come from me--what I did say was that since human beings are creatures of a "superior being" naturally we can willingly choose to not live such a life but other animals of the animal kingdom cannot which is one of the primary things that sets us apart from other creatures. The difference between them and us is choice! They're not choosing to stay together for the sake of love rather it is to fulfill their natural reproductive mechanism within them. The thing about human beings is that unlike other animals, not all human beings have a desire to procreate. There are some animals within the animal kingdom that will stay with their partners for the entirety of their lives due to the fact that they are just naturally inclined to do so and then there are others who have seasonal mating partners because they are just naturally inclined to do so in order to procreate. Unlike humans, animals don't stay together because for love, humans beings do [in some cases, not all]. In the case of people marrying, for other purposes other than love, that would have to deal more with social conditions rather genetic dispositions. How many times have you seen a lioness mate with a male lion in order to take care of their pride? How often do you see a male dolphin mating with a female dolphin because they love one another? People often times wonder why their partners may check out other individuals while though they already may be dating or married, but such behaviors are very much a normal part of the human existence. In the case of the men in North Africa that you mention, often times men behaving in such a manner is nothing more than greed and their desire to exercise control and power over a situation, and in some cases it is a means of showing off their supposed wealth or abilities as men [or at least what it is that they think/believe to be the wealth, power, and abilities of a man]. |
(1) (Reply)
At 34, Am I A Hard Sell? / Do Guys Like Ladies That Make Up? / How Can I Avoid Nysc Camp Date?
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 46 |